shekauvsbuhari:
Just liste to urself. You are trying to tell them not to pursue what they like. That it didnt work out for her doesnt mean it cant work for others. How many rich men are out there? Though as a person I may not fancy it but I ve seen people it worked for. We shouldnt generalise things bcs Ubunja or Franchsang said so. Gold digging my foot. You want all ladies to turn hoes or what?

Oh no I don't want them to turn hoes and of course they can't that rich man they want if they're not chaste. No matter how they wanna twist things. Of course going for men who are not financially ready will work for many but those many doesn't out number the fee now does it? So you can't make your statistics on those. Plus you shouldn't worry yourself if for one thing I know about women, it's that they don't adhere to instructions that will better their life, so none will be a gold digger or hoe on my comment accounts.

HeavenlyCherub:


My dear..love makes you do stupid things sometimes..we don't choose who we love

Keep being happy no matter what the devil pushes at you way. They CANT be GREATER than whom is in YOU. Happy EASTER for our CHRIST is risen today.

Heavenlycherub if you ever get this pls call 0.9.0.3.2.3.5.7.6.7.0

airminem:
Keep being happy no matter what the devil pushes at you way. They CANT be GREATER than whom is in YOU. Happy EASTER for our CHRIST is risen today.

Thank you hun. Amen. I truly enjoy uplifting people after all we need to encourage one another in this life.

Yes Christ has overcome the world and the cross. How blessed we are.

A man is designed to woo a woman by proving to her that he is capable of taking care of her emotional, financial, spiritual and other needs. If a man is being taken care of by a woman, she somehow emansculate s him. She is indirectly telling him that he is not man enough for her needs. A man needs to make his own money to feel good about himself. If he isn't earning any money, no matter how much you give him, he will still feel bad with himself. After a while, he may begin the resent you and see you as bossy, pushy and overbearing.

I learnt this in a hard way, from experience.

eljay22:
I pity these guys above me calling the OP correct babe. Because she said she was working class and had money. Do not be deceived brethren, I know her type.

She is just trying play the victim card. Why won't the guy become insecure when you want to turn him to your houseboy because of the little change you think you have.

I can confidently bet on my balls that you subtly rob it on the poor guys face that you have more money than him, either knowingly or unknowingly.

Gracias !!!!

And what exactly do you want? Can't just be satisfied with your ego. She is very correct cos even if you do all you can emotionally financially and otherwise , people like you would never be satisfied with the effort. So why not leav the guy to hustle his way through and when he is done, his pocket he has ll him ll determine the type of girl he goes for. So no one is called a god digger here.

HeavenlyCherub:


I love God and I am fully aware no relationship is perfect. I never made him a houseboy infact I still carried out my duties as his girlfriend. My ex still wants to work things out and remain friends. If I was as bad as you say I am would he still want to be with me. Money is not everything. Anyway I loved him and I always will. But for my sanity I need to let go. 

Maybe at the time he didnt notice, he keeps on referencing that I dont need him if we break up I have my job, property and family to fall back on but he has no one and needs to support his family. These talks were now a burden on me. He started becoming aggressive, angry and jealous. When I do anything I would always say its ours not mine.

I truly believe a man is the head of a home no way I would want to dominate. I'm not saying I was perfect but I did my best to love him it was never enough. He said I never respected him but I did. Inferiority got the best of him.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a bad looking woman and I had well to do men after me. It's sad because all I wanted was him.

Why bother justifying yourself? Your experience is exactly what you get when you date a guy BELOW YOUR LEVEL AND BACKGROUND. NEVER YOU TRY THAT.. NEVER ..

HeavenlyCherub:


That was not what I was aiming for but I'm just telling you what I faced from him every time. Do you know how hard it is being with someone you constantly have to reassure or tell them they are enough.

MY DEAR PLS STOP JUSTIFYING YOUR ACTIONS. HE WAS JUST BELOW YOUR LEVEL AND BACKGROUND. .. THATS THE WAY THEY REASON.. AND PLS DONT BLAME THEM. POVERTY DEY PURSUE THEM.. YOU DONT BOTHER ABOUT FINANCES BUT THEY THEY COS THEY REALLY NEED TO GET OUT OF POVERTY. SI DONT BLAME THEM WHEN THEY ACT THAT WAY BUT NEVER YOU BE A VICTIM OF THEIR LIFESTYLE. HE LL DEFINITELY GO TO HIS OWN LEVEL AT THE END OF IT ALL..

Gboy101:
um because you are giving him 10k And 20k you think the whole world should hear and you Are rich. common don't be shy, please say the truth what is the highest amount you gave me and total.?

And why didnt or couldn't he get the money from his family members? LEECHES

HeavenlyCherub:


He always say I don't respect him but I do. I was always wrong in the relationship. God is in control

My dear that was just mind game. Always making you apologise for doing nothing wrong even when he is at fault. It's just to destroy your self esteem

HeavenlyCherub:


May men like this. Visit your generations

Haba! You seem like one to complain/Nag a lot and now you've added cursing to it.

Well, i don't know about other people, but i wouldn't advise any man to go close to any woman with this two traits.

Abeg someone/Any1 Should help me with a thousand Naira so I can b able to Withdraw the last #1000 in my Account. 0116430352 Union bank. dey no allow me without my last 1000naira and it ll go a long way at dis point in time. Thanks.

Evercurious:


My dear that was just mind game. Always making you apologise for doing nothing wrong even when he is at fault. It's just to destroy your self esteem

I was foolish and in love. It breaks my heart too when men call women Gold diggers because they want a man who is financially stable. It’s unfortunate some men were hurt by bad women and now they frown upon women concerning money. Women just want to be provided for, loved, even if you have enough it doesn’t mean it’s time to have side chics.

A large percentage of men too if you pick them up and support them to become what you want them to be. They will leave you for an upgrade or start having side chics. At least if you meet him there you already know his personality as it pertains to money.

I pray God may help us dear. All I want out of life is just to meet a man who not only loves God but fears God. A man who loves me not as I am but as a child of a God. Love is simple but we humans complicate things . When you sow into a woman assure her, provide and strive to you will have a happy home. Nothing is perfect but if God is in the center you can pull through challenges.

Ximenez:
Haba! You seem like one to complain/Nag a lot and now you've added cursing to it.

Well, i don't know about other people, but i wouldn't advise any man to go close to any woman with this two traits.

I never cursed her. Did you read what she wrote. She blamed me for mis treatment and instead of understanding my plight as a woman she said I mistreated him wanting him to heal from the pain an d confusion he brought into my life. Sir I will not argue with you. God bless you. Who am I to curse. She said he was a good man and I was to blame all I wished for her is for what she says is good to come into her life.

esti98:
A man is designed to woo a woman by proving to her that he is capable of taking care of her emotional, financial, spiritual and other needs. If a man is being taken care of by a woman, she somehow emansculate s him. She is indirectly telling him that he is not man enough for her needs. A man needs to make his own money to feel good about himself. If he isn't earning any money, no matter how much you give him, he will still feel bad with himself. After a while, he may begin the resent you and see you as bossy, pushy and overbearing.

I learnt this in a hard way, from experience.

Wow you understand what I went through. Wow. I’m grateful to meet someone who understands

HeavenlyCherub:


I never cursed her. Did you read what she wrote. She blamed me for mis treatment and instead of understanding my plight as a woman she said I mistreated him wanting him to heal from the pain an d confusion he brought into my life. Sir I will not argue with you. God bless you. Who am I to curse. She said he was a good man and I was to blame all I wished for her is for what she says is good to come into her life.

I think the issue is from a long time ago. But still, it's very wrong for someone to pass judgement on a one sided story.

You made it seem like you were the angel through out the course of the relationship and he was the devil.


Were you perfect through out?
Didn't he do anything for you? No matter how small, because i believe nobody is completely useless.

Did you do something for him and kept on hammering it into his ears thereby increasingly bruising his ego?

Did you at one point lost it and insult him or his background?

Did you take his peace away with constant nagging?

You don't really need to answer those questions, but the truth is that women love to play the victim role no matter the circumstances.
I'm sure if we ask him to recount his own ordeal, we might hear different things entirely.

HeavenlyCherub:
Hi everyone,

I always feel any time I'm on nairaland I have drama. This platform has helped me as a release over the years. I don't understand why I have been unlucky in love but I hope my posts can help someone. Last time I was here my boyfriend of years got another woman pregnant he still wants to marry me BUT I dont think I can deal with the deception. Lying is one thing but having a whole baby is something else.

So I met someone new. It felt like he was my bestfriend. I put my life on hold for him. I gave up my life for months so that I could help him be a better man. I gave up my home, finances, my car everything to push his vision. I'm a working class woman late 20s and he was a student with a part time job. It didnt bother me he didn't have much because I loved him.

He was kind and loving but I always felt I had to reassure him of his position in my life and to tell him he is enough. This man always made it seem like I didnt respect him because he didn't feel accomplished and wasn't happy of my support of the relationship. He always made me feel bad for being successful.

It's hard for men to accept women when they attain a certain level of success. Men say that they want a woman to be there for them when they are at their lowest, I was that woman but this man broke me emotionally and made me feel small.

I will not date a man with less money than me anymore they are insecure. I just want to advise other women not to over invest your time, emotions and finances in someone who is not your husband.

We women want to over invest because we believe we are showing love. Don't walk away with a broken heart and empty wallet.

-he did not cheat, but his insecurities got the best of the relationship and I decided to walk away even if I loved him.

Why did you remove your pics?

Ximenez:
I think the issue is from a long time ago. But still, it's very wrong for someone to pass judgement on a one sided story.

You made it seem like you were the angel through out the course of the relationship and he was the devil.


Were you perfect through out?
Didn't he do anything for you? No matter how small, because i believe nobody is completely useless.

Did you do something for him and kept on hammering it into his ears thereby increasingly bruising his ego?

Did you at one point lost it and insult him or his background?

Did you take his peace away with constant nagging?

You don't really need to answer those questions, but the truth is that women love to play the victim role no matter the circumstances.
I'm sure if we ask him to recount his own ordeal, we might hear different things entirely.

I’m not perfect. I never said I was. This is an old issue. I grew up poor so I would never belittle anyone. I knew it would be sensitive so I would never... as the other op said..below. I can’t continue to explain this sorry

HeavenlyCherub:


I’m not perfect. I never said I was. This is an old issue. I grew up poor so I would never belittle anyone. I knew it would be sensitive so I would never... as the other op said..below. I can’t continue to explain this sorry

I wish you happiness.

eljay22:


Thanks OP. You just proved the point I was trying to make. I did not ask you if you are from a well off family or if you have landed properties, yet you felt you should tell me. Why? To feel better about yourself I guess.

Please, let the poor boy be. I still insist you wanted to turn him to your houseboy. Talking like you were doing him a favour by dating him.

Heed to the advise of your fellow ladies and go for your class, where you both will wake up every morning and read out your accomplishments to each other.

Leave the poor guy alone !!!

Do you know the o.p personally why u dey attack her unnecessarily?

HeavenlyCherub:


I’m not against any man. The reason that you think I’m against man is because I speak against people being used. Not every man is a bad man but Nigerian men really have a bad reputation world wide. If it’s not using people, it’s yahoo, if not yahoo, it’s drugs, if not that stealing money. It’s time for Nigerians to search within themselves and stop saying I’m bitter or angry for saying my truth.

While Nigerian women have good reputation

Astride:


And this confirms what your heart is made of while you hide behind the charade of playing the victim. You're hardhearted and vindictive. I can tell from miles away. No light in you. And this is the reason you'll continue to attract men like this.

Good, you brought out her real character.

HeavenlyCherub:


I was foolish and in love. It breaks my heart too when men call women Gold diggers because they want a man who is financially stable. It’s unfortunate some men were hurt by bad women and now they frown upon women concerning money. Women just want to be provided for, loved, even if you have enough it doesn’t mean it’s time to have side chics.

A large percentage of men too if you pick them up and support them to become what you want them to be. They will leave you for an upgrade or start having side chics. At least if you meet him there you already know his personality as it pertains to money.

I pray God may help us dear. All I want out of life is just to meet a man who not only loves God but fears God. A man who loves me not as I am but as a child of a God. Love is simple but we humans complicate things . When you sow into a woman assure her, provide and strive to you will have a happy home. Nothing is perfect but if God is in the center you can pull through challenges.

You'll meet that Lucky man someday!!! No worry yourself jawe!!! I fit even be the man self ...you no know ooo hahahahha

HeavenlyCherub:


I’m not looking for husband on NL..

And what's wrong with that? if I know exactly what u want u can even find it even if ure in Tokyo. Bt if u don't it can be right infornt of u and u wud even see it.

Coming back to read

No offense, but you sound so silly! I'm not surprised most young men think as long as it's a woman, anything to paint her in bad light is OK.

Try to judge matters objectively and don't be biased. It could be one of your own tomorrow.

eljay22:


Thanks OP. You just proved the point I was trying to make. I did not ask you if you are from a well off family or if you have landed properties, yet you felt you should tell me. Why? To feel better about yourself I guess.

Please, let the poor boy be. I still insist you wanted to turn him to your houseboy. Talking like you were doing him a favour by dating him.

Heed to the advise of your fellow ladies and go for your class, where you both will wake up every morning and read out your accomplishments to each other.

Leave the poor guy alone !!!

1StopRudeness:
Another mumu has decided to allow one of the daughters of Eve give us bad name.......at least this one did not cheat...

Pele....

But me I no dey jam all this kind better babes...na the ones wey u go say hiiiii.... and the next few days u don dey owe her salary, iPhone and wig we dey always see

that's the problem, me I won't meet the useful ladies! I keep meeting useless ladies wey done milk me dry. Everyday give me, give me, here comes the wonderful ladies meeting useless men. chai e get as this world be oooh.

HeavenlyCherub:


I love God and I am fully aware no relationship is perfect. I never made him a houseboy infact I still carried out my duties as his girlfriend. My ex still wants to work things out and remain friends. If I was as bad as you say I am would he still want to be with me. Money is not everything. Anyway I loved him and I always will. But for my sanity I need to let go. 

Maybe at the time he didnt notice, he keeps on referencing that I dont need him if we break up I have my job, property and family to fall back on but he has no one and needs to support his family. These talks were now a burden on me. He started becoming aggressive, angry and jealous. When I do anything I would always say its ours not mine.

I truly believe a man is the head of a home no way I would want to dominate. I'm not saying I was perfect but I did my best to love him it was never enough. He said I never respected him but I did. Inferiority got the best of him.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a bad looking woman and I had well to do men after me. It's sad because all I wanted was him.

don't worry dear, stay focus your a wonderful lady the man of your choice will come knocking at the appropriate time. stay bless

Quite Surprised To See You Made A Thread On This Subject, And Having Advised You On A Different Thread To Heal When I Read Your Comments, I Will Reiterate That It's Important You Take A Long Walk Away From The Past And Let Yourself.

Some, If Not Most Of Us Men Have Been Through Worst And Still Living. My Wife Girlfriend Of Many Years, Whom I Lived With, Paid Her Fees And Accommodation In College, Provided For Her. I Probably Just Passed The Same Shoe To You �.

Needless To Say I Was Working, She Wasn't, Was Still In College And With A Stepmom Who Ensured She Lost Her Place In Her Father's Home.

Guess What, I Put Us Through The Path To Migrate To The US Through DVL And Boom She Was Selected. Did Paperworks, Gave My All For The Trip To Happen, Long Story Short, She Left In 2006 And Never Looked Back.

Thankfully, I Learnt Much Earlier Through TD Jake's That One Ought To Know When People's Time Is Spent So One Doesn't Live Trying To Wake The Dead.

I Am Here, Living. I Have Resisted All Temptations Since 2006 To Create Topics Out Of The Situation, Neither Have I Stopped Trying Out Again.

Two Years Is A Long Time, Can You Help Yourself To Something Fresh?

eljay22:
I pity these guys above me calling the OP correct babe. Because she said she was working class and had money. Do not be deceived brethren, I know her type.

She is just trying play the victim card. Why won't the guy become insecure when you want to turn him to your houseboy because of the little change you think you have.

I can confidently bet on my balls that you subtly rob it on the poor guys face that you have more money than him, either knowingly or unknowingly.

Gracias !!!!

Touchè!

castrokins:
Quite Surprised To See You Made A Thread On This Subject, And Having Advised You On A Different Thread To Heal When I Read Your Comments, I Will Reiterate That It's Important You Take A Long Walk Away From The Past And Let Yourself.

Some, If Not Most Of Us Men Have Been Through Worst And Still Living. My Wife Girlfriend Of Many Years, Whom I Lived With, Paid Her Fees And Accommodation In College, Provided For Her. I Probably Just Passed The Same Shoe To You �.

Needless To Say I Was Working, She Wasn't, Was Still In College And With A Stepmom Who Ensured She Lost Her Place In Her Father's Home.

Guess What, I Put Us Through The Path To Migrate To The US Through DVL And Boom She Was Selected. Did Paperworks, Gave My All For The Trip To Happen, Long Story Short, She Left In 2006 And Never Looked Back.

Thankfully, I Learnt Much Earlier Through TD Jake's That One Ought To Know When People's Time Is Spent So One Doesn't Live Trying To Wake The Dead.

I Am Here, Living. I Have Resisted All Temptations Since 2006 To Create Topics Out Of The Situation, Neither Have I Stopped Trying Out Again.

Two Years Is A Long Time, Can You Help Yourself To Something Fresh?

Bro this is a sad story
So you mean ever since then she didn't call or send anything
She's very lucky
If it's were to be one cousin uncle in our family
Walai she will regret herself
Why I said that is because similar issue transpired between him and his wife to be
The woman did exactly what you wrote
What later happened was history
The whole family called him and begged him about what he know about the issue he didn't answer
Bro if you see any tall mad woman at toll- gate early in the morning it is that woman

It's Difficult. What Some Of Us Have Gone Through And Still Stay Sane Can Only Been Imagined Than Told.

ZINIBANKS:

Bro this is a sad story
So you mean ever since then she didn't call or send anything
She's very lucky
If it's were to be one cousin uncle in our family
Walai she will regret herself
Why I said that is because similar issue transpired between him and his wife to be
The woman did exactly what you wrote
What later happened was history
The whole family called him and begged him about what he know about the issue he didn't answer
Bro if you see any tall mad woman at toll- gate early in the morning it is that woman