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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / In A Sinful Relationship (2668 Views)
Getting Married Without Desire To Have Children? Sinful? (2) (3) (4)
In A Sinful Relationship by LuvB: 10:39pm On Aug 22, 2020 |
Good evening all. I decided to write my story here as a last resort . I'm in pain . And I sincerely hope I can get good advice here . My story dates back to 2004 when I met this gorgeous lady in my 200level. Though we were in same class ,i never realy took note of her till 2nd year . I just walked up to her one afternoon and we started talking ,went home together and we became really close friends. Shortly after ,my gf broke up with me ..not that we had a problem but she was graduating and felt she couldn't continue with me as I was way younger . I cried .went to my friends house and she consoled me . one thing led to another and we had sex . This was my first sex and wasn't so great . But that marked the beginning of a series of heart breaks . We started having sex regularly and I soon became very good at it . To the extent we couldnt get enough of each other . We had sex at every given opportunity. Several times a week . This is despite her being in a relationship. I on the other hand took her as my gf . Loved her so much . We were inseperable .Went everywhere together Fast forward to 2009 she got married and told me we couldn't continue our illicit affair.. I've cried many tears for this lady cause I truly truly love her ..I became a playboy but nothing could fill the void she left .I tried to forget her . I also got married . Somehow we got employed in the same place of recent .We got talking again. We are so so close . Next thing we started an affair . Just like old times . This lady has kids and I do too but somehow we CNT help it .The attraction is so much . My problem is that I feel used . I know I can't have this lady for keeps cause she belongs to another but I keep thinking about her . She on the other hand seems to forget about me once we are done having sex . Though she says shes just trying not to jeopardise her marriage ,hence the occasional "radio silence" I don't know how to keep her out of my mind . I love her so much but for the sake of my sanity I need to let her go .She claims she feels something for me but I really don't know what .Sometimes I just feel used . I really love this lady though . I can't lie. Please I would really love to break the chains . I need advice not insults . I know I've sinned but I'm human . Someone please help me . Its been 2weeks without her touch and I feel like a fish without water . The truth is if she calls me up now,I would still rush to her . I feel complete when we're together . its insane |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by yomi007k(m): 10:44pm On Aug 22, 2020 |
This world should just come to an end... 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by lilyheaven: 10:45pm On Aug 22, 2020 |
It’s called soul tie, quit your job, look for another job , delete her number and contacts in all your social media accounts. Re-date your wife. Time heals all pain 21 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by SUPERPACK: 10:48pm On Aug 22, 2020 |
Wherever you are right now, stop whatever you are doing and place your right hand on your head and repeat after me, ''I am a mad man and I need deliverance.'' 13 Likes |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by Houseofglam7(f): 11:05pm On Aug 22, 2020 |
SUPERPACK: ![]() |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by devlishGINGER(m): 11:30pm On Aug 22, 2020 |
I you should delete her contact or try to offend her and not apologize... If she feels hurt, she may not want anything to do with you again. That means problem solved... 1 Like |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by GboyegaD(m): 11:52pm On Aug 22, 2020 |
You need to help yourself. Think about your wife being i. Such a situation, how would you feel? Use the energy from that pain to do away with her. It's not going to be easy however, it is doable. 3 Likes |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by izywzy: 6:05am On Aug 23, 2020 |
Bros plz try to move on, she isn't in love with you so just leave except of course honey dey her POT ![]() |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by elantraceey(f): 6:10am On Aug 23, 2020 |
Most important question on a first date. "Are you completely done with all your exes?" But I don't understand why and how people feel used after having sex. You both enjoyed yourselves and at the end you feel used? If you have any, I mean any single regard or love for your wife, you had better direct that affection towards her and leave another man's wife. 1 Like |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by dingbang(m): 8:14am On Aug 23, 2020 |
To marry sef don tire me.. 1 Like |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by Ginaz(f): 8:43am On Aug 23, 2020 |
What you are doing is wrong . You have no self control whatsoever, don’t try to deceive yourself by saying you can’t help it . You rather hurt your wife than try to have some self control even for a minute . It’s not fair . At this rate nothing can help you, no advise will be enough to change your mind . Just know that you reap what you sow. The consequences of your actions are coming , you can’t run away from it . 5 Likes |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by catwalq(f): 9:48am On Aug 23, 2020 |
I thought they said men can have sex without emotions? 3 Likes |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by Ishilove: 9:56am On Aug 23, 2020 |
lilyheaven:Exactly. It's more spiritual than physical. 4 Likes |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by Mariangeles(f): 10:58am On Aug 23, 2020 |
LuvB: There's definitely a spiritual explanation to your bondage to her. Part of it could be because she's the first woman you ever slept with. I also believe she's spiritually superior to you. The desperate yearning for her is draining you spiritually and slowly sucking the life out of you. One question though: what is your attitude towards your wife as you have strong feelings for another woman? She must be suffering ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by Mariangeles(f): 11:09am On Aug 23, 2020 |
Ginaz: It is not as easy as you think. I even feel sorry for the guy. He wants to be free but doesn't know how. |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by sisisioge: 11:20am On Aug 23, 2020 |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Well, our own church refused to open until coro finally leaves town...so let's keep the Sabbath unclean. I remember a guy telling me of his first sexual experience in his adulthood... He too claimed to have loved the babe's cookies with all his heart even till now. You are a deck, a pleasuring tool. Better than a regular toy because of the human attributes you have. You can hug, kiss, whisper some sweet things we love to hear and probably give material gifts as well... Oh, you're better than the regular toy. But a toy you still are. I'm sorry, no advice ![]() 1 Like |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by bukatyne(f): 11:22am On Aug 23, 2020 |
lilyheaven:@bold: Exactly 1 Like |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by bukatyne(f): 11:28am On Aug 23, 2020 |
catwalq: Men can have sex without emotions doesn't mean all sex would be without emotions. And the more the sex partners, the more the ability to have sex without emotions or bond. The OP has slept with two women if his story captures all his sexual history:, if he married the first woman, his marital/sexual life would have been almost perfect. As it stands, it almost seems the OP is cheating on his side woman with his wife. ![]() |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by Munzy14(m): 11:34am On Aug 23, 2020 |
LuvB:lol, she opened your eye to sweet apples... Just allow her be, she didn't use u anything, she helped your ministry.. Just, like a deflowered lady can't stop getting enough of the man who opened her honey pot.. until it becomes an issue. Sex is bonding, you guys always forget. you are married, start seeing ur woman as her, and ur entanglement with her will fade away slowly.... Unless she handles u differently from how your wife does, then u start teaching ur wife how best u love your fantasies. This life sef, imagine mounting on aunty nneka but na aunty Patricia deh your mind. Erase what u have with her, and focus on your wife. 2 Likes |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by bukatyne(f): 11:46am On Aug 23, 2020 |
@LuvB: Is your lover's name starting from B? That was on a lighter note. What you are experiencing is called a soul-tie that's why she seems to be the only one who completes you. That is why your heart and soul is still invested in her. As long as you see yourselves, you will keep sleeping together and defiling your marriages. I would not be surprised if while sleeping with your wife, you call your lover's name or your wife knows your body is with her while your soul is elsewhere. Is the lady using you, it seems so. Perhaps due to your 'obsession', you are a better lover than her husband so she is enjoying the benefits of marriage to the man while enjoying your ministrations on her body. You are also using your wife: she is providing you a home so you have the time/emotional resources to galvante with your soul tie. She married the man because he was financially ready: you married your wife because your obsession was no longer available. Right now, you are fetching water inside basket by diverting the emotional resources meant for your wife to this lady that cannot yield any fruit. What is the solution: You need God to break that soul-tie. Go to Him in repentance for constantly defiling your marriage and ask Him to break that soul-tie and fill your heart with the love of your wife. Pray He restores your marriage (if your wife is still interested). You might have to change jobs and loose her number (although something tells me you know it by heart). It is well with you. 11 Likes |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by bukatyne(f): 11:49am On Aug 23, 2020 |
Munzy14: Very true. It is so sad to see that people use it anyhow. It is sadder to see couples not Leverage in the bonding power by denying themselves sex. This life. 2 Likes |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by Munzy14(m): 12:04pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
bukatyne:life deviates into irony most times. A guy and a lady in relationship will be having great sex, but the moment they move to next level(marriage), with time the great sex fades away, where it is needed most. Not everyone will be lucky to be with the right one. |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by bukatyne(f): 12:06pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
Munzy14: Honestly, the devil is wicked. Doing everything to wreck homes. 1 Like |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by Munzy14(m): 12:09pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
bukatyne:Not devil, It's simply people going for wants, while neglecting needs. Devil manipulates on human wants most. |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by bukatyne(f): 12:11pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
Munzy14: Just on a lighter note jare. Totally agree with you, one can only be tempted out of the person's desires. 1 Like |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by Munzy14(m): 12:16pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
bukatyne: 100%. Anyone who wish to settle down, should focus on needs and peace of mind. 2 Likes |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by LuvB: 2:02pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
bukatyne: You just nailed it. I really would have married her if I had the means back then. Thanks a lot . I appreciate. I'll keep working on ending this . I pray I succeed |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by LuvB: 2:04pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
devlishGINGER: I don't even have the mind to offend her . Intimacy aside ,we're actually good friends and colleagues . Thanks |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by LuvB: 2:04pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
GboyegaD: Thanks a lot |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by LuvB: 2:05pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
SUPERPACK:I'm not mad ..Not at all 1 Like |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by LuvB: 2:09pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
Mariangeles: Nah. My wife is far from suffering . We're happy . This is just a dark side of me I can't speak about . |
Re: In A Sinful Relationship by LuvB: 2:12pm On Aug 23, 2020 |
Munzy14: Your first line is the truth |
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