Hi,my name is storm665 I'm an active member here but I had to create a new account for this cos I'm well aware how judgmental we humans can be.
I'm 19(turned 19 mid last month)and in my year1 in NAU of Nigeria..I'm a very reserved person and I have only few friends but how I got myself in this situation is what I don't know.
It happened that last year September I went to write my PUTME I met this guy(Stan)he really got my attention and I must admit,I was the one that gave him the stare that probably made him feel free to talk to me...I won't dwell on so much details but moving on the next month..
We've become very good friends and I've learnt so much about him,he made it clear to me that he recently broke up with his girlfriend (around that September that I met him)and he hasn't totally gotten over her...even with my persistence to make him mine he still had some reserved way he talks and touches me...probably didn't want to lead me on.but as time went by,he probably grew feelings and I know this cause he stopped talking about his ex all of a sudden(mind you,I never made him stop talking about her) and then he suddenly became the one craving for me and not the other way round.. Fast forward to February... 12th to be precise, he invited me to sleep over at his place and that was when we had sex...after that he stopped talking to me even after knowing he was my first... It broke me and I sent him a text to let him know... He called back almost immediately telling me how he feels bad for what he did and how much he still thinks about "her"..I vowed to stop talking to him but my heart could only take it for a few months... After few months we came to good terms again (this time around we couldn't see each other cos of the covid ish)and our bond became stronger... Or so I thought.
I noticed the way he replies my text so formal and casual so I had to ask him to define our relationship... He still kept going on and on about how he's still getting to know me and all...that "we're not dating but we're definitely something" his exact words.
I had to move on ...cause on the other hand,all these while that we've been having undefined relationship,there was this guy that has made his feelings known(Cole)...he was much different cos he is very much older than Stan, he is 26,a lawyer with a job and a house while Stan is 20 ,still in his 3rd level.
I took my time b4 I accepted him...cos I didn't want things to get messy.
I called Stan and I told him about my new relationship but unfortunately he didn't take it well...he went almost crazy, giving me voice notes on watsapp,crying and telling me how I broke him...in his words"this was what I was trying to avoid in the first place"....."I don't want my heart broken again"...I cried too and I felt like I betrayed him...he blamed himself at some point for not"claiming" me when he had the chance to.
I visited him once after the whole ish ...and I felt complete with him ...one thing led to another and we kissed... He wanted more but I declined, as if my conscience judging me was not enough... "Cole"(my boyfriend) called me asking where I was....I had to come back only to see his car parked in front of my house...he was mad and I have no idea why...or how he knows my excuse were lies but said I shouldn't call him till I tell him the truth about my whereabouts.
So I told him and,oh lord he didn't take it well...from then till yesterday we never spoke...he called today apologizing for overreacting but still needed to know what I've been hiding from him..
I care about him a lot and would never want to hurt him but my heart belongs to "Stan" and at this point it's like me having to choose between going for my heart or using my head.
I know this p0st is long but trust me...I've never been in this situation and I don't know how to get out of it...please help a sister
Thank you.[color=#550000][/color][b][/b]

You are still young but follow your head...

Naturally Humans want they can't have

You know the solution to your Problem

Let me also wait for the elders but I've learnt a new sentence We are definitely something

Matters of the Heart are resolved by the Heart.
That's why the Bible says we should Guide our Hearts with all diligence.
Wether you like it or not Okafu's Law must take effect at one point or the other.
Na so e be.
Just free your mind and fvck to your satisfaction then when you start to feel more matured and start to think with your head you see things clearly.
After all na your Heart you don dey follow since.
There should be no Regrets.

Waiting for the elders biko, Introvert like me can not can in the matter of heart

DemonInvoker:
Matters of the Heart are resolved by the Heart.
That's why the Bible says we should Guide our Hearts with all diligence.
Wether you like it or not Okafu's Law must take effect at one point or the other.
Na so e be.
Just free your mind and fvck to your satisfaction then when you start to feel more matured and start to think with your head.
After all na your Heart you don dey follow since.
There should be no Regrets.

Thanks dear... But I don't want anything that will ruin my life later on...I can't be fvvking to my satisfaction I just want one person in my life and it's hard to decide

calm down..
Skul never start yet na why all ds things dey happen.
When skul start and u start interacting and meeting people, you'd be busy.
Shey na 100lvel u Dey?? And unizik?? Calm down, stress go reset u.
What course u studying though?

fayded:
calm down..
Skul never start yet na why all ds things dey happen.
When skul start and u start interacting and meeting people, you'd be busy.
Shey na 100lvel u Dey?? And unizik?? Calm down, stress go reset u.
What course u studying though?

food science and tech

1. U Are A Student. I Expected U 2 Focus More On Ur Studies. 2. Y Would U Spend D Night At His House At Ur Age 19yrs? Don't U Av Parents? U Can Now See Dat U Are Too Forward And U Can Now See How U Are Complicating Issues 4 Urself. It's Time U Reason & Plan Ur Life Well Otherwise Regret, Pain & Disappointment May Be D Outcome.

Storm665:

Thanks dear... But I don't want anything that will ruin my life later on...I can't be fvvking to my satisfaction I just want one person in my life and it's hard to decide

My dear, you're still very young to be chasing wealth over feelings.You have to expore more and be completely done with that your first guy before you move on.If e still get something better to offer besides lamba you go definitely know coz relationship wey na just nack nack no pomporri,will definitely end in hard tears.
It's advisable to always practice Safe Sex.
No too go believe yourself.

Actually at this stage of your life, your goal is to focus on school and that alone. Your love life is a distraction because you're entertaining people you shouldn't. Who do you love and who do you want to be with?? This is a question that's very straight forwarded. Your answer is your solution.

This is matter of the heart, you need to figure out what you really want and forecast your relationship expectations in the long run,

it's always difficult to let go more especially with the one that took your pride... You need to be honest with yourself and tell yourself the truth also you shouldn't be hard on yourself cuz you're still young, there's allot of guy to come!

My advice, be with the guy that love you the most...

U still quite young u can barely kno ur left frm ur right so just try focus on urself, with time u ll kno wat u want nd go for it.

At the end, you may not end up with either of them.

The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. Girl, you shouldn't rush into romantic relationships especially at your age right now. Your priority should be your education and your future. Don't damage your future on the bed of emotional gratification. Your ill relationship is a dust to your eye, covering the bright future you have. Let both men go. They are just using you. God knows who belongs in your life and who doesn’t. Trust and let go. Whoever is meant to be there, will still be there. Moreover, Never let your feelings get too deep, people can change at any moment.

trueguy573:
The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. Girl, you shouldn't rush into romantic relationships especially at your age right now. Your priority should be your education and your future. Don't damage your future on the bed of emotional gratification. Your ill relationship is a dust to your eye, covering the bright future you have. Let both men go. They are just using you. God knows who belongs in your life and who doesn’t. Trust and let go. Whoever is meant to be there, will still be there. Moreover, Never let your feelings get too deep, people can change at any moment.

thank you
I truly appreciate

calm down babes and move on with the new guy, dt Stan once had you, and ur mistake was giving him dt first sex dt it seems he came for and mayb ur cake is still sweet and dts Y he ia disturbing you for a second bite and if you go for him he would end up dumping you again..
sex for guys is soo different from sex for girls, maybe he is jus using you as a sidechick to empty his tanks and when his ex comes bk he woud ditch u were u belong.....my opinion

You are simply attached to the person who first made love to you. It is a typical psychological thing. It is like a psychological syndrome. And it is real. It is also most common with women. The first man they gave themselves to. Men don't care. They mostly just want sex, have a chance to spill their seed and nothing special attached. You will only get over the silliness of such an over romanticized notion of "he is my first love bla bla bla" when you further mature emotionally and psychologically. Your sexually active love life is initiated at an age too tender and unprepared to foster ambition for solid love and proper courtship. The commonest reason for accepting a man's advances for girls in your age range lies within frivolousness, curiosity and vogue. Curiosity from romantic Novels, Zeeworld, and lies couples tell about how they have been together for 100 years and never quarreled. As girls mature in age, they either grow away from their first love, and get entrapped in other amorous discoveries; or are simply pulled along as parents change bases, or are heart broken and shattered by these men. Eventually they realize men can sleep with 200 women and call a few the love of their lives. Men can date 300 women, cater for 30,defend 20 from other men, fight for 10, and still not deeply love any.

It is always a wish for a girl to be with the man who was her first. That is what is wrong with you right now. You are romanticizing life. I am not saying it is not possible. I am saying it is highly unlikely.
Both of you are kids. And do not know what the hell you want right now. In this journey of life a lot will happen that will overwhelm both of you. You are both "young and dumb" as we jokingly say. For instance tell him your think you could be pregnant that something is late or missed. And then see him scamper for safety and tell you he isn't the one. Haha. Then you will know if he has his shit together or not. You will realize he is not ready. If it actually happens you will also know you aren't ready.

Listen, you are attaching great importance to this guy because he is your first. Just because you noticed and gave him a look first doesn't mean it was made from heaven. People love to do this "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh made from heaven" self delusion. It is just an attempt to make copulation and sex look super. It is a silly and feeble attempt to leave reality into fantasy. Without these fantasies and bullshit talk and false feeling of eldorado, most women won't even let a man touch them unless their lives or survival depended on it. One thing is for sure, sooner or later, eentually reality always sets in.

People have told you that a relationship shouldn't be your priority at this age and stage of your life. You be thinking of being a financially independent woman in future. Face your education because men of tomorrow will see a woman who brings nothing to the table as a nuisance. However, between you and I, we both know you won't listen. So let me tell you now. If you want you should actually break up with the lawyer guy.Oh yes! I am serious. He is more mature and also let us agree not to put him through your cheating on him in future. Go back to your school guy and see if he does anything differently after you return to him. Another thing you can do is to tell the school guy you have broken up with the lawyer guy. Now that you are his, watch his actions and innactions towards this (childish) relationship.

The School guy is a little child that only notices his toy when another kid wants to take it and playing with it. Both of you are just young and emotions and animal instincts are working 100 per cent in you all. Reasoning, thoughtfulness, is very lacking. It comes with time, experience, the ability to learn and retain, willingness to change and taking persistent action to change until change happens.

He cries and sobs and you too your heart melts. Interesting. Whether genuine or intentional, his actions manipulated you. Now you feel since he is your first, it is better you run back to him. Well, see this movie till the end. Go back to him, he will always treat you like he used to before the lawyer guy. Then when you find someone else he will break down again. Perhaps until you realize he is a waste of time, or until he meets another (most time a younger) girl he fancies. Then he tells you to leave. No amount of weeping from you will make him change his mind.

Storm665:
thank you I truly appreciate

Don't thank me. Just hear me

Don't feel bad for breaking one heart, do when you've broken up to ten

my issue is Feb 2020 This is when there was lockdown because of covid 19.
and a guy called you over from where you are residing to crash at his place for sex.OK

Thank God you are alive and well

baralatie:
my issue is Feb 2020 This is when there was lockdown because of covid 19.
and a guy called you over from where you are residing to crash at his place for sex.OK

Thank God you are alive and well

We were still I'm school...I went to his lodge.
Schools suspended on march..I think

Storm665:

We were still I'm school...I went to his lodge.
Schools suspended on march..I think

well! on one hand it matters but on the other hand it does not matter a pinch.As it stands you are an adult and somewhere,somehow you have to stay ahead of matters of the heart.
as a woman you will have to be mentally developed to avoid time and life wasters.
move on to more important things about your goals in life(unless you don't have,then the road free for time wasting)

Sms your number to this number (08173953114)

I copied paste this to my gf... She gave me her option and advice but insist on speaking with you... Want ya to call her asap...

I hope you are not lying

I don't see a good option in them, stan is not into you, he was just using you as Plan B, the lawyer guy, he is likely to be emotional, we ain't perfect though

All you need now is to focus on your studies and let love find you later

SaintXto:
Sms your number to this number (08173953114)

I copied paste this to my gf... She gave me her option and advice but insist on speaking with you... Want ya to call her asap...

OK thanks I'll text her

How are you sure Stan doesn't have another girl?
Because his attitude to commit, speaks something fishy to me.

The truth is Stan doesn't love you, he just uses you as his emotional rock, someone to lay his frustrations of what transpired between him and his ex.
The truth is both guys are likely not your life partner. You are still young and will definitely meet other amazing men in your journey of life, so buzz up and ditch Stan from your life cos the dude is so immature and manipulative trying to use the emotions you have for him against you.

I know it's going to be hard cause he is your first love plus the one that deflowered you and you may feel he has a part of you because of that, but the truth he can't hold a part of you if you set yourself free for him.

Out of sight is out of mind so cut off every form of communication with the Stan guy for your own sanity.

For Cole, you don't know much about him but I will say you should give him a try because he seems to be more matured and know what he wants from you.

My final advice is to build yourself
Focus on your education and try to groom yourself to be a better woman. Don't carry love and relationship so much in head cos it might ruin a part of you.

People fall in love and also fall out of love so don't hold feelings so dear. Remember you can control who you love and who you don't
Date but with a sense, commit only to the one who wants to be committed and knows what he wants.
I am team celibate though but I will advise if you want to be having sexual intercourse, be sure the guy is into you for real because there are many sex-starved guys out there.

I wish you the best dear.

only you Stan,only you Cole,...omo your heart na extension socket oooo,

Rukkydelta:
How are you sure Stan doesn't have another girl?
Because his attitude to commit, speaks something fishy to me.

The truth is Stan doesn't love you, he just uses you as his emotional rock, someone to lay his frustrations of what transpired between him and his ex.
The truth is both guys are likely not your life partner. You are still young and will definitely meet other amazing men in your journey of life, so buzz up and ditch Stan from your life cos the dude is so immature and manipulative trying to use the emotions you have for him against you.

I know it's going to be hard cause he is your first love plus the one that deflowered you and you may feel he has a part of you because of that, but the truth he can't hold a part of you if you set yourself free for him.

Out of sight is out of mind so cut off every form of communication with the Stan guy for your own sanity.

For Cole, you don't know much about him but I will say you should give him a try because he seems to be more matured and know what he wants from you.

My final advice is to build yourself
Focus on your education and try to groom yourself to be a better woman. Don't carry love and relationship so much in head cos it might ruin a part of you.

People fall in love and also fall out of love so don't hold feelings so dear. Remember you can control who you love and who you don't
Date but with a sense, commit only to the one who wants to be committed and knows what he wants.
I am team celibate though but I will advise if you want to be having sexual intercourse, be sure the guy is into you for real because there are many sex-starved guys out there.

I wish you the best dear.

Thank you so much... This really means a lot to me