Dorcas23:
I've read every comment so far.

First of all I'm not cheap. All this while he has been the one telling me he loves me. I've never said I love you too in response. I've not even made any straight declaration of love. Like I said I've taken things slow. I've never even put myself in a position where he would have the opportunity to touch me.

He is my friend and he invited me to his place. Declining would have been impolite so I agreed. He said he wasn't expecting the female friend to visit and that he stylishly tried to discharge her but she didn't want to leave and he apologized to me.

Some people are saying I should use my brain. How am I not using my brain? I haven't made any decision I regret yet.

That guy joined nairaland last month. He might have been 'miseducated'

Your guy is just like me

U sound sincere. I saw two thing in your writeup he does not reply your text maybe he his shy...he told u he loved u but you didnt tell him u love him too...take him serious as he does to you but dont give him sex never!!...but if u feel comfortable giving him give him.

SageMK:
Don't fall for this ancient gimmick that's meant to stir up feelings of jealousy and lust in you. He wants to have a seat in your head and so far it's clearly working. Control your emotions and just forget about him or you'll wallow in pain.

You just dey cast guys parole

IMAMofPEACE:



[s]Dear, all I can say is that you are seeing the signs but you are turning blind eye to it because of love.

I am a guy, and I will tell you point black, that the nigga you are dying for only wants to have a taste of your cookies and he does not love you.

And if he finally succeed in hitting your cookies, trust me you will see his real behaviour.

Please don't let love cloud your thinking, you are an adult. Thank you[/s]

rubbish post. And u claim to be a man? No, no, capital NO, you're not a man

Openbusiness:
rubbish post. And u claim to be a man? No, no, capital NO, you're not a man

What advice do you wanna give her?
We all know the babe that came over to the guy house that night, they both had sex..

All those time he is ghosting on her, it is because she is just an option. If she is not an option, he won't ghost on her for a week. Not even one day, a week!!!!!


Bro we both know the truth

DHaran:
U sound sincere. I saw two thing in your writeup he does not reply your text maybe he his shy...he told u he loved u but you didnt tell him u love him too...take him serious as he does to you but dont give him sex never!!...but if u feel comfortable giving him give him.

She is a time waster, and the guy is woke. So, now he's wasting her time too. When she's ready she will pack her load and go. Even if she gives him cookie jar at this point, she will be a side chick and not a main chick anymore. She threw her chance out the window already.

You guys are not officially dating and technically he isn't cheating

He had told you he loves , acted all lovey Dovey and you acted pretentious hiding your feelings, now he is trying to make you jealous and uncomfortable

He wouldn't have called you to come after arranging a date with someone else if he wasn't trying to get you jealous

Since you are both immature with your feelings, it's time for you to ask to see him, seat him down and confidently ask him exactly what he wants from you


.

At least he is being honest in his unseriousness. If you're content being one of many appendages then go ahead and 'date' him. Or whatever you folks call dating these days.

Laziness can be in many forms....put ur brain to work....psych him then know your next game...have ur game too.....shuuuuuu....we don't like girls that are so attachy

IMAMofPEACE:


What advice do you wanna give her?
We all know the babe that came over to the guy house that night, they both had sex..

All those time he is ghosting on her, it is because she is just an option. If she is not an option, he won't ghost on her for a week. Not even one day, a week!!!!!


Bro we both know the truth

see, man to man, you know how wooing works, right? It is an investment of "Time". "Time" here is not just a singular thing alone. "Time" here means:
✓ actual hours or moments of time you spent relating and communicating +
✓ the mental resources +
✓ attention devoted +
✓ the energy spent +
✓ physical resources deployed: money spent, materials etc

Now let me tell you, for a casual friendship, you don't devote much "time". Hello , hi once in a while. Negligible thing. No mutual attraction, so you guys don't get close. But for a case like OP, where there is mutual attraction, no guy ever gets to the point where you and a girl are all mentally warped together and involved together communicating back and forth on a daily, if there's no investment of "time", unless the girl na hoelosho or the slutty nympho type. The guy invested his time, she invested hers too. It got to a point to they were mutually involved and then he breaks the ice that he "loves" her. She shoves it aside, goes cold on that issue, doesn't reciprocate, even when she knew she felt the same way, claiming she wanna study him more, yen yen yen, lame excuses. If you wanna study someone more then you give them gap, so they don't catch on too soon. So the guy feels, oh maybe she ain't feeling me like I'm feeling her, not because she didn't say I love you too immediately. But because she ghosted him regarding that matter. She could have said later that, ABC about that I love you, it's not like I don't love you, I really like you but I need to be sure your love and intentions are real and you're not trying to just get laid, because I really like you so much and if you play me, it will break my heart. A honest discussion like that would have been ok and the ball will be in the guy's court to prove to her his intentions are good and he wants to be in the game for as long as possible. Because let's face the fact, not every girl you date is gonna lead to marriage, you never know for certain, we just go in blind and hope for the best, sometimes the vibes fade after a short time and nothing you can do about it but to let go, and sometimes the vibes grow more and more and you bond to the next level. That's the truth. If you know you can't handle this simple reality, then best to avoid dating completely and just find a guy and move straight to altar the next day. Anyways, she cuts him off as per the dating matter, because when a man starts declaring ILY, that's what he wants. ILY = let's date. Sex might or might not be involved. It's left for her if she wanna take it to that level. No be by force or rape. People can date months or years without sex na. I once dated a girl, she said no sex. No wahala na. After 5 days, na she carry am come give me chop herself. I have dated a girl that said no sex, that she dey follow the dating 3 Months No Sex Rule, after 1 month na she drop the cookie jar herself. And I have dated girls that didn't say no sex but it was a no sex relationship. So it's a choice. The power to choose is there. Not every dating has sex involved. So saying that she cut him off on that matter because she doesn't wanna have sex na wash. She has seen fine boy she wanna keep on the side while she explores and sees whether there's more out there. So she just wanna be wasting his "time" while the guy keeps investing to maintain or grow their level of involvement. She's playing mind games with him. Messing with his feelings. But the guy being a woke guy has already decoded the mind games and has brushed it off. So he ain't bothered, he doesn't wanna invest himself in a failed venture. So he is switching on and off, hopefully whatever involvement they had can fizzle out and everybody find their way back to normal hello hi once in a while friend zone level. That's why he invited her, then stood her up AND DELIBERATELY told her another girl was sleeping over his place. I mean c'mon he didn't have to tell her that info na on a normal level. But he did it to let her know he ain't got time for her rubbish mind games. Shey she wanna study him more, he has given her INFO to do research on. Now she dey cry come Nairaland looking for answer for project, so she can graduate from University. Ok na. Make she dey find wetin no loss. The guy has shown her his feeling is not her toy to be playing with. Let her go to Yaba market and buy toy.

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

Hmm all I can say is run while you can.
He doesn't care about you. Periodt


Cc blackpanther

I don't think you need advice; what you need is a coldhearted guy that will shred your heart to pieces. Fortunately for you, you have found one already. It is possible there is a coolheaded, responsible, and down-to-earth guy that is unrelentlessly graving for your attention at the moment; the best you can offer yourself is to be foolishly attached to someone who has clearly known you are nothing but a disposable "sidechick."

To use one of the famous maxims of this graveyard: " It will end in premium tears."

Zzor:
ignore him and pretend he doesn't exist,dont fall for such simple trick to get you jealous,hes a player.Never show a guy you like him no matter how deep you have fallen,he will never respect you if you do that,he may accept you if you make any move but will never value you,you will become his sex thing,they value ladies they suffered to have,thats how they are weird,dont follow any advise coming from a guy here,they just want you to fall cheap for their fellow.I repeat,never ever make or show him signs that you have fallen in love with him,if he comes fine, but if he doesn't,my dear bury that feelings quickly and get busy.

Wicked girl � see your yansh

Since you really like him & he said he likes you too (though he had to show you he had other girls & is not gonna be a party to your forming & 'i'm so super special' stunt) then you step up your manipulation game, man him & pull him your way or what are you super special for? Get into his brains & use those secedelic body & eyeball rolling moves to covert him, no man can withstand or resist that cos thier dick was made to be controlled by your want & your body..

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

Ubunja, and the MVP definately goes to the said guy. If only men understand how to Play the mind game right.

There is POWER in ignoring women, it makes them thirst for you the more in the suspense you have frame their minds, thinking all sorts of thoughts so also there is POWER in making a woman realise that she is not the only one. It makes her to buckle up and compete out of jealousy.

blackpanthar:

missimelda01 pls help...

Dear sister, UNTIL YOU DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP.... do no go to his place alone... else you will enter an ENTANGLEMENT.

You have made yourself cheap by being available for him and falling for the things he does.... BUILD YOUR WALLS WELL O... because definitely he will sleep with the girl who visited him... and you will go another day and enter SET.


A GUY CAN SLEEP WITH YOU WITHOUT PLANNING TO DATE OR MARRY YOU.

You will just be Hot-FRIENDS-WITH-BENEFITS....

If the girls he has slept with are not CLEAN health-wise OR spiritually... then you will also be INFECTED.


Sister, if you really want a relationship that will lead to marriage... then have enough DIGNITY to wait for him to propose and inform your parents and friends and start planning your life together without SEX.

Else, you will fall for the NEXT guy after him and soon you will hate yourself and hate men.


IT IS EASIER TO SAY NO WHEN IT HAS NOT STARTED.... be wise, be warned.
bye

Nice one. All this teenagers that won't focus on their studies. The boy is just practising redpill with her.

it will take God's grace to get her off the hook now.

VLTA:


Nice one. All this teenagers that won't focus on their studies. The boy is just practising redpill with her.

it will take God's grace to get her off the hook now.

Zzor:
ignore him and pretend he doesn't exist,dont fall for such simple trick to get you jealous,hes a player.Never show a guy you like him no matter how deep you have fallen,he will never respect you if you do that,he may accept you if you make any move but will never value you,you will become his sex thing,they value ladies they suffered to have,thats how they are weird,dont follow any advise coming from a guy here,they just want you to fall cheap for their fellow.I repeat,never ever make or show him signs that you have fallen in love with him,if he comes fine, but if he doesn't,my dear bury that feelings quickly and get busy.

its a pity we still have ladies that think like this in this era you better be expressive of your mindset about him else u might end up not being with a guy who values u personally I dont ask a lady out more than once

all u guys giving advice are wicked..you are spoiling work for a fellow nigga.may all of you be pussy starved

All I'll say is be direct and clear. If he isn't calling you, call him and if he continues to ignore, know that he's not really interested.

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

He's not interested in you.

Friendlyjoe:
Op, you are a Simp

Redpills girls would not even ask this kind of questions

Zzor:
ignore him and pretend he doesn't exist,dont fall for such simple trick to get you jealous,hes a player.Never show a guy you like him no matter how deep you have fallen,he will never respect you if you do that,he may accept you if you make any move but will never value you,you will become his sex thing,they value ladies they suffered to have,thats how they are weird,dont follow any advise coming from a guy here,they just want you to fall cheap for their fellow.I repeat,never ever make or show him signs that you have fallen in love with him,if he comes fine, but if he doesn't,my dear bury that feelings quickly and get busy.

Keep burying feelings until u are buried.

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

Somebody told you he likes you. You felt the same way but hid your feeling. Because you want him to first walk on water.

Now turn the table around. Imagine you told a guy you love him. And he didn't reciprocate. Knowing women, I am sure you would not talk to him again. I don't know why women assumed that men don't have feelings.

Personally, I don't love chasing women.
If I had shown you 20% attention and love, I expect you to show at least 10%. It tells me that you care but perhaps being cautious. But if I show u 20 and u are showing me 2. U go become everybody else to me. Or probably another nigga (gist, and roll with u like I would a guy)

rockyh:
its a pity we still have ladies that think like this in this era you better be expressive of your mindset about him else u might end up not being with a guy who values u personally I dont ask a lady out more than once

Bless u

RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE.

SOMEONE THAT CARES ABOUT YOU WILL FIND OTHER WAYS OF MANAGING THE VISITING LADY SITUATION WITHOUT GIVING YOU ANY DETAIL OR CLUE.

YOU ARE SET FOR AN ENTANGLEMENT !

HE CLEARLY WANTS TO WORK YOU INTO HID WEB. YOU NEED TO WAKE UP. A GUY THAT IGNORES YOUR CHAT FOR DAYS IS ONLY BAITING YOU. RUN IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR HEART AND LIFE.

THIS WILL ONLY END IN TEARS. DON'T TOUCH WITH A 10FT POLE.

QUIETLY WITHDRAW.

I HOPE I DIDN'T JUST WASTE MY TIME

Dorcas23:
I've read every comment so far.

First of all I'm not cheap. All this while he has been the one telling me he loves me. I've never said I love you too in response. I've not even made any straight declaration of love. Like I said I've taken things slow. I've never even put myself in a position where he would have the opportunity to touch me.

He is my friend and he invited me to his place. Declining would have been impolite so I agreed. He said he wasn't expecting the female friend to visit and that he stylishly tried to discharge her but she didn't want to leave and he apologized to me.

Some people are saying I should use my brain. How am I not using my brain? I haven't made any decision I regret yet.

I think the reason why he doesn't reply your messages on time is because u left him speechless but on a more serious note u need to let him know how u feel. You are either together or not together there is no in between
And stop playing hard to get you said he already asked u out once what else do u want

[quote author=Zzor post=93174524]ignore him and pretend he doesn't exist,dont fall for such simple trick to get you jealous,hes a player.Never show a guy you like him no matter how deep you have fallen,he will never respect you if you do that,he may accept you if you make any move but will never value you,you will become his sex thing,they value ladies they suffered to have,thats how they are weird,dont follow any advise coming from a guy here,they just want you to fall cheap for their fellow.I repeat,never ever make or show him signs that you have fallen in love with him,if he comes fine



one thing i dont like about Nigerians/african girls they dont express how they feel when they like their man they want u to decipher. be there and be forming hard to get u will soon loose your man.
i have this experience with a girl i was trying to ask out she was doing HARD TO GET for like 3 weeks thats how i lost interest in her and i stopped she later gave me signal but i ignored her.

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

You are going to be a side chick. He's letting you know your position on time