Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by JerryJJZ(m): 11:10pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Relationships are funny. All relationships are! Allowing Nairalanders advice you on sensitive issues like this is not done. You know what and how you feels. If after the time you spent together, you still dont understand him, then you are wrong. I cant advice you walk out of the relationship when I havnt heard form the horse mouth. You need put yourself together and ask yourself countless times if you are both made for each other, if yes, fix him up by talking to him the way you want your relationship to be, always remember, you have a say in this because you are directly affected. If not, easily and painlessly walk out. MyOneCent |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Dminister(m): 11:11pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
These are signs of upcoming beating. Take a walk before it is too late |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by 15ssDRIVE(m): 11:11pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Localchampion: I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to. We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced. So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.
Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking 1. He said I'm useless to him 2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them. 3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come. 4. He said his cousins girl did this and that. 5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla 6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner. 7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful. 8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember. I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.
All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.
I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.
All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.
Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.
Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.
I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.
He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.
I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.
Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head. My sister,Poor man no get behavior. All that will change soon $ enter bros hand. You don’t have $ and he too don’t have ... what do you expect? Fire stone and petrol =Fire bomb. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Ngozioma(m): 11:11pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
1 Like
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Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by chycco: 11:13pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
. 6 Likes |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by TheSociopath(m): 11:13pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
millionboi2: as friend or how? You say.you geh babe for me na |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Poseidon000: 11:14pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
As a man, I would advice you don't marry him; Not because of his financial stature, but because of his pugnacious disposition and lack of regard for your person.
Imagine him trying to kick you out of his house on petty premise, knowing fully well you had a work to do there that requires an accommodation. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by kevotek1000(m): 11:14pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
There's no perfect relationship, I have heard your side of the story and I know your boyfriend has something to say too. There's always two side to a story like this... Meanwhile try to make the best out of your man, there's no better man or woman, work your relationship out yourself. Even marriages has issues, no assurance say the next bus you wan enter, the Tyre no go burst. Go apply wisdom. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by TheSociopath(m): 11:15pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
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Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by kevotek1000(m): 11:15pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Poseidon000: As a man, I would advice you don't marry him. Not because of his financial stature, but because of his pugnacious disposition and lack of regard for your person.
Imagine him trying to kick you out of his house on petty premise, knowing fully well you had a work to do there, that requires an accommodation.
Remember there's always two side to a story like this. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Poseidon000: 11:17pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
kevotek1000:
Remember there's always two side to a story like this. Well, you're right. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by kevotek1000(m): 11:19pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Localchampion: I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to. We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced. So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.
Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking 1. He said I'm useless to him 2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them. 3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come. 4. He said his cousins girl did this and that. 5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla 6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner. 7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful. 8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember. I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.
All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.
I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.
All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.
Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.
Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.
I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.
He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.
I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.
Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head. There's no perfect relationship, I have heard your side of the story and I know your boyfriend has something to say too. There's always two side to a story like this... Meanwhile try to make the best out of your man, there's no better man or woman, work your relationship out yourself. Even marriages has issues, no assurance say the next bus you wan enter, the Tyre no go burst. Go apply wisdom. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by nosa73(m): 11:19pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
U have to put it into prayer. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Chris2863(m): 11:20pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Mood11: Dial x606# to borrow airtime or dial x901# to buy from your account Are you sure you are OK? |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by fineboynl(m): 11:20pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
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Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by pocohantas(f): 11:21pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Localchampion:
I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls. Wonderful. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Mineisgrace(f): 11:22pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Its a risky business. Take cautious measures pls |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by REDshouse(m): 11:22pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Localchampion: I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to. We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced. So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.
Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking 1. He said I'm useless to him 2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them. 3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come. 4. He said his cousins girl did this and that. 5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla 6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner. 7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful. 8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember. I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.
All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.
I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.
All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.
Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.
Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.
I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.
He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.
I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.
Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head. give me his number I want to hear his own view before I make judgement...cos u lied alot in all u said here .... First u are lazy and dont tidy up the house and environment... Second ur laziness made u not to be able to cook ...even with 1k u can still manage to cook Thirdly he invited his friend over when u cook... or u call his friend to come that u have cook ...clarify this Finally..his so called friend is a female .....and u are comfortable with that also.... |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Chris2863(m): 11:23pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
dukeprince50: 29? a kid in a grown mans body. being foolish at 29 is really a bad thing. ur boyfriend is not ready, he is doing DELAYtionship with u U too how come u stayed in his house for four days and u spent N150k? You sure say you read this post before commenting ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by SpicyMimi(f): 11:25pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Localchampion: I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to. We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced. So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.
Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking 1. He said I'm useless to him 2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them. 3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come. 4. He said his cousins girl did this and that. 5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla 6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner. 7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful. 8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember. I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.
All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.
I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.
All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.
Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.
Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.
I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.
He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.
I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.
Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head. Most of us aren’t gifted to hear God directly, but just like Isaac’s servant, God can speak to us through different means. Talk to God, He is very real...ask Him to give you a significant sign that will point out your husband and chase away men who are time wasters. The Most High God will surely answer but first you must also live a Holy life. May God help you. God is not an author of confusion. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by sheriffindy(m): 11:28pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Why are people already crucifying the poor guy..have you heard his own side of the story?...Odiegwu!!!
For the best relationship experts, marriage counsellors etc
VISIT NAIRALAND |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Nkemjika98: 11:29pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Sis it is well,can you listen to relationships messages? If yes. Go to YouTube Pst Kingsley okonwo... The answer is there...
I too was in this kind of relationship ☹️....but I got my answer there....
God bless you 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Nobody: 11:30pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
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Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by InvertedHammer: 11:31pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Localchampion:
Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000 ....
Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head. / Your marriage, your cross, your problem. Enugu boys are known for rubbing powder and doing fine boys. They are not providers like men who grew up in commercial cities. How did you lose N150k in 4 days? / 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by tolajay: 11:31pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Let me apologize on his behalf. You sound like good person and shouldn't be going through such emotional blackmail and relationship trauma. Quite sure you noticed some of these unpalatable behaviour and even more before now, but choose to tag along. It's gradually unfolding and full length will be bitter if you don't run. As a guy, I advise you to muster the courage to end the relationship. You are and will be better off without him. He's not providing you with emotional, financial, spiritual support, so why continue the self-inflicted torture? Follow your guts, be bold about yourself, be happy. Localchampion: I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to. We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced. So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.
Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking 1. He said I'm useless to him 2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them. 3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come. 4. He said his cousins girl did this and that. 5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla 6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner. 7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful. 8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember. I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.
All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.
I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.
All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.
Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.
Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.
I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.
He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.
I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.
Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by MrNipplesLover(m): 11:32pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
why be say every night like this, some of you go get something to past about (probably fake) relationship issue?
be like dem dey pay una for this job. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by nwikpab: 11:33pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
With what I have experienced from a woman, I must say women are something else.
I won't say much after all, it's only your site of the story.
Your BF's account might be different.
For you asking if you can marry him shows either
1. You are willing to make things work 2. You are managing him since no one is yet to settle with you. Either ways, you are holding the cutlass.
Women sha. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Omokowa(m): 11:34pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Half of your story is false... Tell us the real truth 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by baby124: 11:35pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Why are you feeding this man ![](/faces/huh.png) . |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by King44(m): 11:37pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
You are even lucky you are not dating someone like Zzor who would give you knock on your head.
But the truth of the matter is no relationship is perfect, he wants roleship or whatever just do it and if you don't do it because of one thing or the other and he is insensitive about why, after his cock and bull complain call his attention and point out where he is wrong and help him adjust.
He is not an ingrate, he has attitude issues though. If he is an ingrate, despite what his friend said after the nice treatment he would tell you did nothing.
Every relationship with different baggage, it is high time you let him he can't compare you to someone else and all the other complains he made.
Me one side, I am still finding it difficult to cope in a relationship where my girl can't cook or doesn't like cooking or trying to ride me either directly or indirectly, no time for shiit na my complain go kill am |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by sureguy078(m): 11:39pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
@ OP this thing is easy naw Leave him Come to me I’m caring and good at controlling my anger Lobatan ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Nobody: 11:39pm On Aug 26, 2020 |
Why should you marry this type of man? You know the answer already babe. This guy is a pathetic user waiting around for a woman to take care of him while he does nothing but mess with her mind with toxic words. He will do everything he can to guilt-trip you to do his bidding. Stick with him at the risk of your mental health. 2 Likes |