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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? (72464 Views)
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Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Pearly255(f): 12:20am On Aug 27, 2020 |
I hate reading so much This write up plenty o Someone pls break down. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by AmazingELixir: 12:25am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Op he must be good inda oza room business...that is the only rational conclusion I can draw from your continous stay in such toxuc relationship. Someone that hasn't got a job or hussle to maintain himself or a relationship and you're asking us if you can marry him. Good luck to you...don't comman disturb us here later on how he maltreats you after going through with any marriage arrangement. I also wish not to read as one of the headlines in here "Nairalander who complained year back runs away from jobless husband's house due to il_treatment." My 2 cent. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Pearly255(f): 12:29am On Aug 27, 2020 |
So many people with insomnia issues |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by OyinO: 12:31am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Run for your life. That dude is bad news. He's an opportunist. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Chuxodigitals: 12:32am On Aug 27, 2020 |
That dude is not ready yet you're already 25 please keep him on the side and look for a matured potential husband unless you enjoy wasting your time. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Ttm9319(m): 12:35am On Aug 27, 2020 |
todaynewsreview: I c dis valid 100% |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by citruslimited(m): 12:36am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Before I say anything, I did like to ask. Was sex involved in the relationship ? Please answer that, then I will give my advice |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Fawklicant: 12:39am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion: The problem with folks is seeing tell tale signs about their partner and thinking they can make their partner change. Sorry you can't. Whatever traits you see now will be magnified X 10 in marriage. Be advised. Tomorrow you'll still be compared to his friend's wife that gave him twin boys when you gave him only a girl. He is not even ready to marry you so stop wasting your time with him. It ran while it lasted but sometimes you need to let go before you set yourself up for a life of misery and anguish. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by solonubinho(m): 12:44am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion: Say the truth, did you tell him this? It is unlikely that you explained this to him and he still continued ranting. If were the case, I'd say he's neither fit nor proper for a relationship. But deep down, I know you didn't explain this to him. Rather, you responded with attitude. I'm not blaming you my dear, I'm just analysing the situation...don't worry, I'll get to him shortly. Localchampion: If this is the case, I think he's an entitled man child. Localchampion: Red flag. Run. He takes and takes and takes. He gives little or nothing in return. To him, you are there to serve him and make his ego swell while he sits home and does nothing. Localchampion: I have a gut feeling you have some communication issues you have to work on. But we know you will still marry him irrespective of how bloody red the flags are. Goodluck! |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Beatswim: 12:46am On Aug 27, 2020 |
You both have flaws as human..but trust me..this guy won't give u the peace that comes with marriage..pls don't let the fear of loneliness and physical attraction soil your future..sister.... there's a man out that who will give u the disired peace and value u...the fact that u toasted him gave birth to all these and u should know he will never respect u at all...just pretend u don't have any money to spend on him and bring up a very big false problems before him...see as he will run away from u without looking back..his association with u is called parasitic in biology |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by tenderjunkie: 1:06am On Aug 27, 2020 |
millionboi2:Very correct 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Nuruddinshira: 1:12am On Aug 27, 2020 |
leave him... |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by splashbaby(m): 1:14am On Aug 27, 2020 |
dingbang:Set àwọn picture checker |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by splashbaby(m): 1:21am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion:Let me tell you the plain truth... You need to have at least 6 months living relationship with him to determine if this will work out. A man has several phases depending on the situation... You need to experience them to be sure you can cope. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Germi9: 1:24am On Aug 27, 2020 |
the guy was almost right,he has studied you through and through.. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by geezynoni: 1:36am On Aug 27, 2020 |
From your profile,I was able to deduct the fact that this is not the first time you're complaining about your so called long distance relationship.I feel that if you're not happy with this relationship, end it....Nobody is worth stressing over. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Numero9: 1:40am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Break up with that Cow! Cows are useful, but this one is useless. My close friend's ex boyfriend is just like this your boyfriend. Now she's currently engaged with someone of better qualities than her ex. Save yourself while you still have time. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Luckysbab: 1:49am On Aug 27, 2020 |
DirtyGold: You have sense. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Bobbies007(m): 1:50am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Honestly, sister please don't try to marry him, first thing ,you marry the man who respect you if he doesn't show you respect and keep on comparing you with other girls.. plss don't |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Luckysbab: 1:53am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Aabheaven: Seriously irritating |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Luckysbab: 1:54am On Aug 27, 2020 |
SIR0: I wish she listen to the immature advice and seek another path. Wetin she dey find, she go kukuma see am 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Luckysbab: 1:55am On Aug 27, 2020 |
thorpido: No. Petty men listen to one side of the story and jump into conclusions like idiots. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by shollymata(m): 1:57am On Aug 27, 2020 |
NO. He needs to grow up, he needs to prove that he is in love with you and not his friends, and he needs to get to work. Financial stability is critical in modern day marriage. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Luckysbab: 1:57am On Aug 27, 2020 |
freshkpomo: This is the simple truth. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Luckysbab: 2:00am On Aug 27, 2020 |
SweetCunt97: Madam sabi sabi... Was she the one sending him food money before she added to his liability? So if he had short notice and is coincidentally broke that period, he should go and steal? Perhaps, a man should never go broke at any point in his life. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by stanbuggy(m): 2:01am On Aug 27, 2020 |
How is your sex life |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Ategberoson(m): 2:02am On Aug 27, 2020 |
you want nairalander whom might have problem in their relationship/marriages due to their naivety to validate your own decision? naturally I hate long distance relationship, I'm surprise for more than a year of date you don't move with someone close, it seems you're still of age because @ 25years upward, I expect you to be in courtship not a distance relationship you need to reason deep, have you even weigh his mental capacity? or na this he don't use to provide is your only consideration? look at your age, assess what you've benefitted in the relationship so far then look at his lifestyle and bring those premises to your own final decision |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Strech(m): 2:04am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion:maybe you no dey give am wetin him want. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Luckysbab: 2:05am On Aug 27, 2020 |
MiaBeer: You go fear. But then, she is the saint. Fish go don done by the time she type this thing finish. But no, she is in no mood to cook, but write stories. |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Gloriagee(f): 2:15am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Stopped at you giving him money to buy you food when you visit. Maka why |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Pegi23(f): 2:22am On Aug 27, 2020 |
My ex was like that...do not marry that grown up brat |
Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Nobody: 2:27am On Aug 27, 2020 |
OK. Hmmmn, everyone has spoken and let me speak mine aswell. I read every word you typed out and i have seen several "red flags" already which are an indication that THE BOTH OF YOU WILL NOT WORK OUT FINE. I know when a woman is bitter(you have the right to be in this case) and this bitter feeling will most likely cause her to resent her man to a certain extent, if not entirely. Several peeps have said that your boyfriend is a child, acting like a kid, needs to grow up and so on. I tend to partly disagree with that assertion, because i strongly feel that your boyfriend KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING to you! He is taking advantage of your persona and gentle nature(deducing this based in your account of things) He is riding your head, so-to-speak. By that i mean, he is just passing time with you, while gaining whatever he can from you while it lasts- sex, hospitality, cash. Now, I am not saying that it bad of him to share in your money(you both are a pair) but he should also do it with consideration and humility knowing that times are hard during this post COVID-19 era even for you too. He should not verbally put you down, and make derogatory remarks at you as a result of transfered aggression/frustration. He is human and so, prone to tempermental outburts as a result of his insecurity not being able to foot the bills during your visit. It is a "men" thing to feel lesser of a man in such a situation and consequently lash out at his lady maybe unintentionally/ by impulse(though I don't agree with that behaviour). But notwithstanding, he should have kept it in-check. This is what will show YOU that he loves you, cherishes you despite the trying times, respects you and is a "ride or die" type of guy. He has now exposed his ugly side to you owing to the pressures of the moment and you have now seen his ugly side. Ask your self the following, because you know him more than any of us here does: When he was insulting you, did you still feel love in your heart for him or were you afraid for your safety? Is this the very first time in your few visits to him that he has acted that way? How is communication, thus far? Do you just listen to him without speaking too, even when you want to defend yourself?(albeit, politely) These should be vital signs to tell you if you want to spend the remaining years of your life with the man in the picture. Remember the saying which goes; "If he will not change when you have not yet married him, then he will not change after the wedding" You have heard stories about other women and their experiences while dating a percieved potential husband who was violent(physically, or verbally) before the wedding and who later hurt, or killed his wife after they tied the knot. You should understand my point here. Be wise. See the signs and heed to them if you feel you are not free to express your own views to your boyfriend even when you feel bashed and humiliated. A lady is supposed to be free to do things like defending herself in a convo, have the type of relationship were she can play with the man, even slap his shoulder playfully without him getting angry and switching over to "macho-man mode" From your story it seems you are not very free with that guy. Pls, no lady should let desperation for marriage pressure her into SETTLING with a man she doesn't feel free and super comfortable with. You both are meant to be one (not talking about sexual union oh. It isn't even time) and you are meant to be smiling, blushing hard(or softly, whichever), feeling butterflies in your tummy-kinda effect whenever you think about him, talk to him on the phone and are far apart from each other. That is the foundation of a healthy, sweet-loving relationship and a recipe for marital bliss and success. If you don't feel those affore mentioned things then pls wait till you find that man who you feel those things for. It is not fairytales. It happens and is supposed to happen that way. Already I see the both of you playing ROLES when you are meant to be a TEAM. There is no how either of you(or both) won't start cheating with someone else as a result of looking for closure and a distraction from the toxity of your relationship. Pls sit him and talk to him openly one last time and share your fears about him(respectfully) And stop trying to get even with him by asking for money to make hair and the rest when u know he is not bouyant at the moment. It only shows that u are testing, or teasing him, and I hope you know that he knows this is what you are doing indirectly or otherwise. Learn to be vocal pls, and communicate together as a pair about all things. Do not be nagging(not saying you do this, but..) Be more matured than him this period. It will shock him. I like that you choose to smile(tho not easy) during the times when he was verbally abusing you. It showed restraint on your part(fear on no fear, you had self-control) You sound like a nice, cheerful girl and I know love can be binding, but pls be cautious too and take your brain along with you as you follow your heart. Won't be good if you get seriously hurt. I too, won't be happy to hear you got hurt after all the warning signs. I know none of you is perfect, and you have your own flaws too. And pls, limit how you tell your friends(if you do) about him in a not too good light. Cover his unclothedness too, sometimes. People talk alot outside. Best of luck dear and equally pray about it all. LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING! Sorry that it is lengthy....I was caught up in the moment cuz I pity your situatuon. Try to read, u hear. It is well darling. 2 Likes |
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