SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friend's that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.
The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply
I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.

Obinnau:
Don't judge them until you leave.
Abroad no be the same as Naija. Too much responsibilities and no time for flimsy exchange of chats

SocialJustice:
Wait until you leave. No need to assume or worry your mind now.

SoccerUSA:
As much as I would not want to judge them.
Did you think checking on them in months is a filmsy exchange of chats?
I have things to do also don't make it look like I'm 'jobless' here

Obinnau:

I am in Nigeria, I haven't traveled. But I have received the same treatment from friends that have traveled. One way to look at it is to put yourself in the shoes if people outside the country.
A lot of people will usually use the guise of checking up on them to 'bill' them. Also there is a reason why they went to the abroad in the first place and it's usually overwhelming to adjust to the new place and still keep up with others.
What I would advice you to do is to leave them a voice message or call directly if you can afford it. Well... That's the way I handle my own business

Petyprincess:
Actually those that stopped talking after traveling out were never your real friends!!
I could remember last two years my friend was traveling to Canada i actually thought he was gonna stopped talking to me nd as someone who is crushing on me but he surprised me
He told me when is flight is moving,countries his flight will be connecting nd told me to put him in prayers that he should land safely,he was so transparent with me from the day he started his visa application to when he finished his degree,from applying to work permit etc,everything literally with unlimited pictures,struggles,reality that your normal friends wnt tell you!!

I have couple of friends living in abroad that i dnt talk to because we were not so close when they were living in Nigeria,they know they can't even deceive me like gullible Nigerians that think life there is bed of roses.

Some of my friends wnt let my status rest because of their abroad based friends,you will be seeing something like "my Toronto baby" "please bring me something from Dubai o" etc

If they stopped talking to you,you should ignore them also!! you ignore me i ignore you simple!!

Obinnau:

I am in Nigeria, I haven't traveled. But I have received the same treatment from friends that have traveled. One way to look at it is to put yourself in the shoes if people outside the country.
A lot of people will usually use the guise of checking up on them to 'bill' them. Also there is a reason why they went to the abroad in the first place and it's usually overwhelming to adjust to the new place and still keep up with others.
What I would advice you to do is to leave them a voice message or call directly if you can afford it. Well... That's the way I handle my own business

otipoju:
First of all...the time difference. Some of my very stupid friends will be chatting or calling me at 2 am after I have explained severally that Nigeria is most times five hours ahead of me and it's best we talk on the weekends.

Secondly... the mindset, the western world is not a laid back environment..you are constantly on your feet working to pay your bills and thinking of taking advantage of the next opportunity so you dont get left behind . "Abeg sir"no dey there if you fail to pay on the due date, you get a penalty fee which you must pay. If you dont they disconnect the service. End of story.

Compare this to Nigeria where men can chill every evening after work with beer or soccer and party every weekend until maybe 3 months to pay the annual rent then you begin hustle the money to pay rent..and can owe nepa for 9 months sef. If dem cut light you tap from your neighbour.

Thirdly most Nigerians just want to beg for money. Some if you dare give them once...dem no get shame na to dey carry problem come every month or three months. No self respect...when you compare that mindset with that of the west where everyone is self dependent you'll understand why.

I have a relative who will be sending me prayer and happy new month messages. Every 3 month he will always have one problem or project that needs support.

Recently I decided to borrow him money instead of the usual give. 3 weeks turned into three months. Na so so excuse every month. Not paid back one kobo.

Last week he sent proposal of a business plan with a voice note that he needs my support. Meanwhile there is a group that we are both on that he does not know that I am on as well that where he was suggesting to them that they contribute money for independence day party.

I just shook my head and blocked his number.

SoccerUSA:

My story different sha, though it must be because I am not abroad.
Before he travelled we buy ourselves gift on our birthdays can be as little as you can afford. Fast forward to days or months he arrived the US comes his birthday so I created an amazon account gave him and told him to pick anything of his choice. I paid for them.
You won't believe the guy went back to order things. He claimed it was a mistake I couldn't get a refund till date he later blocked me on all social mediums when I texted him.
Not everybody wants their money I just want to have a genuine relationship with them.

SoccerUSA:

My story different sha, though it must be because I am not abroad.
Before he travelled we buy ourselves gift on our birthdays can be as little as you can afford. Fast forward to days or months he arrived the US comes his birthday so I created an amazon account gave him and told him to pick anything of his choice. I paid for them.
You won't believe the guy went back to order things. He claimed it was a mistake I couldn't get a refund till date he later blocked me on all social mediums when I texted him.
Not everybody wants their money I just want to have a genuine relationship with them.

SoccerUSA:

My story different sha, though it must be because I am not abroad.
Before he travelled we buy ourselves gift on our birthdays can be as little as you can afford. Fast forward to days or months he arrived the US comes his birthday so I created an amazon account gave him and told him to pick anything of his choice. I paid for them.
You won't believe the guy went back to order things. He claimed it was a mistake I couldn't get a refund till date he later blocked me on all social mediums when I texted him.
Not everybody wants their money I just want to have a genuine relationship with them.

kellycute:
no need for long talk. The reason we the abroadian hardly respond to some our folks messages is that they like to change every conversation or chat to monetary favour. I was chatting with my cousin and the next thing she said "you just forget me oo, I dey hungry oo., I need money" can u imagine that rubbish? Most people don't even know how to have a prosper conversation without resorting to financial favor. The main reason abroadian don't respond to some people in naija is because y'all like to use every conversation as financial opportunity as if we are picking the money from tree . As for me I respond to everyone messages but the moment you try to change the narrative to unnecessary complain, I go just ignored ur ass or tell u say "I never chop since morning oo abeg send me money from Naija" hahahaha.

Sweetness4:
This topic reminds me of my secondary classmate that travelled out. We were good friends. 3years later he was added to our class whatsApp group chat. I commented and said hey it's been a while ooo. He asked of my name, I told him. He said he can't remember me. I was really embarrassed. Just 3years ooo. I started describing how we always gist and how we were encouraging ourselves during waec. (Shalayeing things) Lmao he said "i don't know who you are ooo". I was shocked.
Omo that was the last time we spoke.
I will travel out one day too. e be things ooo��

SoccerUSA:


He probably lost his memory �

SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friend's that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.
The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply
I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.

SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friend's that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.
The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply
I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.

kellycute:
no need for long talk. The reason we the abroadian hardly respond to some our folks messages is that they like to change every conversation or chat to monetary favour. I was chatting with my cousin and the next thing she said "you just forget me oo, I dey hungry oo., I need money" can u imagine that rubbish? Most people don't even know how to have a prosper conversation without resorting to financial favor. The main reason abroadian don't respond to some people in naija is because y'all like to use every conversation as financial opportunity as if we are picking the money from tree . As for me I respond to everyone messages but the moment you try to change the narrative to unnecessary complain, I go just ignored ur ass or tell u say "I never chop since morning oo abeg send me money from Naija" hahahaha.

Sweetness4:
This topic reminds me of my secondary classmate that travelled out. We were good friends. 3years later he was added to our class whatsApp group chat. I commented and said hey it's been a while ooo. He asked of my name, I told him. He said he can't remember me. I was really embarrassed. Just 3years ooo. I started describing how we always gist and how we were encouraging ourselves during waec. (Shalayeing things) Lmao he said "i don't know who you are ooo". I was shocked.
Omo that was the last time we spoke.
I will travel out one day too. e be things ooo��