Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names - Family - Nairaland
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| Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Vincenzomum: 12:40pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
I am not a Nigerian I live in Italy with my Nigerian husband we have 2 children , and I am expecting twins next month. My first child Vincenzo is not from my husband , I had him with an Italian man we later separated. I met my husband 5 years ago we talked about not naming any of our children with traditional names as their first name maybe middle name because I strongly believe children abroad should be given names that everyone around will feel comfortable to pronounce them, that will also help them from not getting bullied in school we both had accepted. Our first daughter we named her Olivia munachi , we have both decided to named our twins aleesha and alexia but at last minutes my husband changed his mind , he want us to name them with Nigerian names as their first names which I am against him, this problem is bringing a lot of problem in the house because I will not accept him to give my babies any Nigerian names as their first , I prefer it to be their middle names, he is angry and refuse to talk to me. But this thing we had discussed even before we got married I don’t understand why the sudden change in him. Please help me judge this matter who is wrong between the two of us ? |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Lady16(f): 12:45pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Your husband is the head of the family he have the final say but talk to him,let him know the reason why u want those names but if he insist u have to accept it that way 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Amotolongbo(f): 12:48pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Lady16:truely, Husband is the head of the family, but every agreement, no matter how small should be respected and honored. The man should have made his opinion known immediately and turn down the motion set before him by the wife on how and what to name the babies instead of going on to agree with the woman and later reneging at the twelfth hour. If the man does not want foreign name as first name, he should have made it known, instead of going into an agreement. Perhaps this could be the reason why the woman agreed to marry and have offspring for him. 12 Likes |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by longetivity(m): 1:07pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
tell ur husband to open a nairaland account... The elder's want to speak some sense into his head 10 Likes |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by donbachi(m): 1:17pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Try and be submissive...it will do u a lot of gud. 2 Likes |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Nobody: 1:22pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
The name of the first child you had with him is Olivia munachi. Pls tell me, what's difficult in pronouncing Munachi? Munachi is a very beautiful name and can be shortened to Muna. Your husband turning around at the last minute was terrible but pls try and understand that naming your kids igbo names as their first names can't be all that bad. 3 Likes |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Afam4eva(m): 1:41pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Of all things to disagree about. What exactly is wrong in your opinion of children having an Igbo name as their first name considering that there father is Igbo. if you wanted an Italian name instead, that would have been a different discussion. I have said it countless times that all my children will have Igbo names both as first and middle names an any woman that doesn't like it and as much as i respect her opinion, that marriage will not happen. 2 Likes |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Lazycyndy(f): 1:44pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Why are you so bothered about what others will feel or think? If the people in Italy can't pronounce names like Amarachi, Chinelo, Kosi, Kamsiyochi, Ada, Obinna, Chidozie etc then that's their problem not yours. Why should you hide a part of your kids because you feel embarrassed by their names? What kind of inferiority complex is this bikonu? I won't be surprised if you're black. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Vincenzomum: 1:51pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Ardar: Munachi is her middle name on her birth certificate we don’t even use the name , apart from my husband’s family in Nigeria who call her muna |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Vincenzomum: 1:53pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Lazycyndy:I am bothered because I live in a country where there is too much racism I don’t want any of my children to be victims just because of their names , to other children it may sound funny and they will bully them. I am talking from experience. Yes I am black African 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by ImDStar: 1:56pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Afam4eva:
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| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Lazycyndy(f): 2:00pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Vincenzomum: And the solution to your problem is to give them names like Alexia and Aleesha? You think those racist Italians will stop being racist because of the change of names, you don't think they won't find another reason to be racists towards your kids? It doesn't matter what your name is, as long as you have dark skin, they'll always find a way to bring you down and this is coming from someone whose name is Cynthia, my name didn't protect me in any way. 9 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by punisha: 2:01pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
This isn't an issue. Both of u can lose the naming rights and allow the child to move on a free transfer to any family that can name him better from the season he starts walking. Na ako rubbish. |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by thorpido(m): 2:15pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
The only problem I see here is that your husband reneged on the earlier agreement. However,it's almost inevitable that a typical Nigerian parent won't want to name their children traditional names. Your fears about being bullied doesn't hold substance because their skin first of all is black.The pronounciation also is no issue.Does anybody worry about Chimamanda(Adichie)?You can shorten some names to make it easier.Munachi can be Muna.Build your children with self-esteem and knowledge.Racism isn't going away soon anyway. 1 Like |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by zed7: 3:30pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Please help me judge this matter who is wrong between the two of us ? Only a Nigerian talks like this, dead give away. Why do you people like cooking up tales? |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by merieam16(f): 5:43pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
. zed7:O boy i thought i was d only one seeing this, i had 2 read over again. The lie no pure atall |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by LadySarah: 6:40pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
But you can pronounce Djokovic and all these long Russian names. Pls allow my brother give those children their traditional names as first. That's their identity and who they are.They should learn it. There's nothing racist or evil or tongue twisting abt it. I'm sure the munachi is only in the certificate and has never been called her in public . 1 Like |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Ghengiskhan(m): 7:34pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Vincenzomum:Whatever you named them they will have to deal with racism if you intend to live in Italy, so it's better for you to name them in your image and teach them to embrace the fact that they are African from young and please do teach them about their culture. 1 Like |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Nobody: 7:56pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Woman, hes your husband and like someone already said, he has the final say. That is how we roll in Nigeria especially in Igbo land. The name thing should not bring problems to your marriage except its you who want it to. Let them bear the native name as their first. Stop expressing fears about being bullied and all that. The name doesnt change anything since they are blacks and the said "bullies" too can see that; not until they hear their names. Let peace reign in your family by letting them bear the name their FATHER wants them to bear. |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by DarkandHandsome(m): 8:43pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
It shows how cunning your husband is |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by simpleseyi: 8:53pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
A woman was impregnated and dumped by a wise man. Another mumu went and begged the dumped woman yo marry him. This is one of the reasons why the first man fled, no man wants a deviant woman. Period. 1 Like |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Oizee(f): 9:44pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Vincenzomum:I'm sure you remember George Floyd, the name didn't sound Igbo but he was a victim of racism, so it's not about the name. I don't understand why your hubby is changing his mind already after he agreed in the first place, I'm sure you yourself don't like native names too. |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by edoairways: 9:56pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Oizee:Leave George out of the equation as there are certain circumstances surrounding his death. CNN and other media has been hoarding alot of information from the public. There nothing wrong in having your native name as middle name. |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Oizee(f): 10:32pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
edoairways:you are absolutely right , cuz I don't know the mystery behind his murder, but what was certain was d face of d guy that knelt down to his neck, when I watched d video, all I see was a pure racist. |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by frozen70(f): 11:41pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
Vincenzomum: Let that not be an issue He should understand that you are living in a foreign land and English name suits best Amywa a Nigerian child bears two names one English one native,let h name the twins any thing he wants You call them by their English names and register them in school with their English name Don't let that bulge you and stop arguing with him over the names, till then |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Theslumflower: 11:44pm On Sep 04, 2020 |
I really don't understand the concept of submission to a husband because of a decision as easy as a child's name. It doesn't make sense. Of course the husband is the head of the family and has a final say on issues regarding the well being of the family but in a situation like this, there is nothing like a "head or tail". It is a child's name for crying out loud! The child is for both the parents and not the father alone. Y'all make this submission ish look like the woman shouldn't have a say again in the family. She is first of all an individual before she is a wife. Individuals have right to opinions and to stand by it. So literally a woman shouldn't even have a say again on what to name her own child?. She is the child's parent too just as the man. This is what happened in my family too, I was given a name by my dad which my mom didn't want me to have but I guess she accepted so as not to disobey my dad. Funny enough, I grew up and hated the name, I didn't answer it and then decided to change it. Men really need to understand some things are not that deep. The child will still grow up and decide whatever they want to do. After all, he will be the one to answer the name not you. Your husband really should act as a man and the head by taking decisions that should bring unity than disparity in his family. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Richy4(m): 12:41am On Sep 05, 2020 |
Vincenzomum: If they want to bully them, their colour is just enough... The name is just secondary in terms of attracting bullies.. what's so special about Alexia and Aleesha? what is the meaning?  I might be wrong but I'M guessing that you are trying so so hard to Europeanize your kids... You have to be proud and comfortable with your heritage... 2 Likes |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Vincenzomum: 1:04am On Sep 05, 2020 |
Richy4:Yes I agree with you that bullying / racism is by skin colour but I strongly believe that names also play a big role in bullying especially with kids in school , I have seen where kids had been bullied because of their names and those kids were badly affected. I don’t want the same thing to happen to any of my children . Lol you are wrong sorry I am not trying to Europeanise my children , I am proud to be an African if I wasn’t proud I wouldn’t even teach my son who’s mix raced my language , he can speak my language better you may think that he was born in Africa. I just want good names for my kids and I don’t mind using native names as their middle names because even the names that he want to name them it doesn’t make sense to me and I can’t even pronounce it . Kosisochukwu what a name I am sorry but I will no give my babies any names that I am not comfortable with. I have told him if he doesn’t like the names that I have choose , he can suggest any good English names but he insist he want native names , me also I don’t want |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Vincenzomum: 1:07am On Sep 05, 2020 |
frozen70:That wouldn’t be a problem if he will allow me to Use English name as their first name on the birth certificate but if he doesn’t allow and we use their igbos name as their first name so when we register them for school they will register them with the same name on the birth certificate |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Richy4(m): 1:46am On Sep 05, 2020 |
Vincenzomum: You two should find a common ground to resolve the name issues. It's not even supposed to be an issue. I wish kids can just talk immediately they were born; that would have prevented u guys from naming them what u like.... And I don't see how Alexia and Aleesha as a name will prevent school yard bullies from coming to your kids if they were targeted .... I kinda respect your opinion but I have read your write ups and have counted like two times where you referred the kids as "my babies" Do you think you can tune-down the "my babies thing" and start with "Our babies" It might just help you to calm down alittle...It might be a step toward the right direction...This is because they are not yours alone. It was a collective effort  .... |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Jqtyfx(m): 7:21am On Sep 05, 2020 |
If you're having twins girls this time, you could find matching Igbo names (you said he's Igbo) to choose from, each. E.g. you choose the name Nneka while he chooses Nnenna, or you choose Ijeoma while he chooses Ifeoma. That way, you both have a say rather than you putting your foot down that you're not accepting of Nigerian first names. Part of marrying someone of a different culture is being accepting of their culture. 1 Like |
| Re: Disagreement With My Husband About Babies Names by Uyi168: 8:53am On Sep 05, 2020 |
Vincenzomum:.. U nor even happy say u see man wey marry u for house after dropping Vincenzo.. . Imagine the nonsense question wey you dey ask.. 1 Like
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