I really just need different opinions about this.
I'm a girl, I live with my aunt and two kids. Overtime her kids started becoming rude and often pass very degrading comments at me.

I found a way to ignore them as she advised but as time went on I began loosing it cause their attitude was becoming worse. This time if any one of them dared come close to me, touch or in any way trigger me I end up doing them back.

As time went on they calmed down and I was just getting more and more harsh/impatient. I was annoyed by the fact that I had to be harsh with them just so they'd be nice, it felt bizarre.

I seemed help from a mentor and I started the 50/50 scheme if they mess up I ask them to report themselves to their parents therefore I don't get to do the dirty work. Also, if I felt disrespected I would let them know or walk away.
But I drifted, instead I started ignoring 70% of their actions and only saying what I felt was necessary. So far it worked well, no form of rude comments, I'm always in my room so even if they were being naughty I wouldn't know. It felt good.
Now the main part:
My Aunt met me and asked what was in the food I made for the children. She said it had a smell. The smell was from the groundnut oil and it wasn't even a bad smell. At this point I got upset and asked if she thinks I'd poison them and she started telling me about life and about my recent character.
Now I ask what did I do wrong?
Would it be better to interact with them normally and feel drained mentally because I have to swallow every rude comment?
Would it be better if I continue to let them mess with me?
Note: they are within the ages of 7 and 12 while I am 18

People have said my act is childish but it's what helps me. I know I am very intolerant but they are destroying the last bit of humane patience in me and it seems their parents are enjoying the show. Also note>>>
They probably won't remember their actions in 2years but I will remember it forever and it has already started tormenting me.
Right now I don't have any hopes for marriage and children. As at present I feel a certain resentment whenever I see children their age. It's scary and I'm confused and I fear for my mental health...

You have to calm down before you develop a mental state of hating children

Those kids are just being naughty and it's common with children

They are capable of sending you out of that house

No parents takes their own child's happiness for granted

You are expected to seat them down talk to them and Continue to talk to them until you establish the kind of relationship that will work for you and them

You were once in their stage

Am not supporting them but thinking towars them will help you accept children with their naughty behaviours

They must exhibit it

Heemn there is complete childishness and ego from you, this issue is not supposed to be taken serious by you, they are still children that is why they behave like that, apologize to your aunt and explain the smelling oil thing to her.

Those children will change in few year and would like to spend their holiday with you when you are married and feel more relax than their parents home.

My dear please learn to be patient as life can be hard sometimes.

Go and apologise to your aunt for the sake of humanity and God.

Later on , if the kids misbehave report to the aunt.

Please you are learning patience that will help you alot in life. If you pass through this phase , you will be glad you did.

First of all, try apologizing to your aunt, just as the person above me had suggested.

There's an issue if such behaviors are not being discouraged by their parents.

If their home is your only option of accommodation, then I'm sorry, but you'll have to tolerate it all, otherwise I'ld advise you to explore your other options, cuz "see finish" is a no go area.

Then, a little tip for tolerance, try as much as possible to find amusement in what they say, after a while when they've realized they're having zero effect on you with their remarks, they'll cut down on it.
After a while, the kids "may" draw closer, by trying to find new ways to communicate with you.

Be a friend to them

this is like a child babysitting a toddler, at the age of 18 you are too young to talk of hating marriage and children, try and tolerate those kids, they will how out of it.

Hahaha aunty your problem is no other thing than intolerance, my mom used to tell me then that the first virtue I should get as a young growing girl is tolerant, ability to swallow and move on because I have what am expecting or a target to meet,look am not up to 22 but I have worked with at least Four different kinds of people,I have taught in school for over 3 years and still in it,so you can see where tolerance plays out, children to handle here and there,some of them behave as if they're not from this planet,I have been cajoled, scorned by friends for receiving and swallowing insults from parents and even the school owners all because of my good heart,sis you need to realize what you are there for,I believe you might be seeking admission or you are in school, whatever it is please swallow and move on,then for the children's rudeness and insults,when last did you talk,play,gist and Even strolled out with them, create and maintain an atmosphere of empathy, love and togetherness, then for your aunt apologize to her whenever you are at fault,it won't take anything from you,the first to say am sorry it's not always the weakest but the bravest,it is well with you....

U are acting childish and its quite understandable,just calm down.
Firstly u need to talk to them like their sister and importantly u need to make friend with them.

From ur write up u re becoming defensive even to ur own aunty which its nt gud. If u really cherish ur sanity make peace nd live as happy family

At this point I got upset and asked if she thinks I'd poison them and she started telling me about life and about my recent character.

Did you have to answer your Aunty this way?Aunty the smell is because of the groundnut oil.....chikena!

You need to call down.You need to learn to live with people and grow relationships.
Children can be naughty.Do a bit if carrot and stick with them.

Jezzzz
Sorry please calm down everyone
I'm really not rude.
I do everything I am asked to do right and I can challenge that fact anywhere I go.
My Aunt never saw the question I asked as rude or so I believe because we both laughed about it.
The only problem I have is THE CHILDREN'S CHARACTER and that wasn't a problem until the lockdown started and I had more time to lazy around in the house.

I'll break it down in points
1. The parents are usually at work Mon-Fri even with the lockdown, hence, I am indoors with children until they are back.
2. When they eventually get back no productive conversation goes on apart from "mummy what did you buy for me?" "Mummy what will we eat?" and then they watch some TV and go to bed. With this little time spent with the kids, I tend to be on the receiving end of all the characters both good and bad. EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE THE LOCKDOWN.
3. The only days I manage to distance myself I get a backlash saying I don't love them this and that. Meanwhile I do everything I am asked to do. Cook, clean, dust name it. It's not like I'm being rude or anything
I'm just a young growing woman begging for space from children that want to drive me nuts


I see this as a parasitic relationship. I am on the loss side and all of them profit more from my interactions.

When they get home they see the good parts in the children because I have paid the price I have corrected them, shouted, warned, name it just so they'd behave well and then the little time I take a time off I become the devil, the unloving person.

Let me explain my distance:
I wake up in the morning, wait for her to finish everything in the kitchen cause she wouldn't let me help her, then I go ahead and wash the plates, do my daily hygiene and then fix myself a breakfast, all this done without saying a word to the kids except I am asked a reasonable question. That continues to late at night. The only thing I do is I don't talk as much, I pick my words and I'm always in my room unless I am needed brethren that Is all I do.

Pastemj:
Jezzzz
Sorry please calm down everyone
I'm really not rude.
I do everything I am asked to do right and I can challenge that fact anywhere I go.
My Aunt never saw the question I asked as rude or so I believe because we both laughed about it.
The only problem I have is THE CHILDREN'S CHARACTER and that wasn't a problem until the lockdown started and I had more time to lazy around in the house.

I'll break it down in points
1. The parents are usually at work Mon-Fri even with the lockdown, hence, I am indoors with children until they are back.
2. When they eventually get back no productive conversation goes on apart from "mummy what did you buy for me?" "Mummy what will we eat?" and then they watch some TV and go to bed. With this little time spent with the kids, I tend to be on the receiving end of all the characters both good and bad. EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE THE LOCKDOWN.
3. The only days I manage to distance myself I get a backlash saying I don't love them this and that. Meanwhile I do everything I am asked to do. Cook, clean, dust name it. It's not like I'm being rude or anything
I'm just a young growing woman begging for space from children that want to drive me nuts


I see this as a parasitic relationship. I am on the loss side and all of them profit more from my interactions.

When they get home they see the good parts in the children because I have paid the price I have corrected them, shouted, warned, name it just so they'd behave well and then the little time I take a time off I become the devil, the unloving person.

Let me explain my distance:
I wake up in the morning, wait for her to finish everything in the kitchen cause she wouldn't let me help her, then I go ahead and wash the plates, do my daily hygiene and then fix myself a breakfast, all this done without saying a word to the kids except I am asked a reasonable question. That continues to late at night. The only thing I do is I don't talk as much, I pick my words and I'm always in my room unless I am needed brethren that Is all I do.

Parasitic relationship? They provide you food and shelter and God knows what else. You need to maybe enter the street and come back so that you’ll appreciate what you have.

You live in their mother’s house not yours. If you can not tolerate children of that age because you think they don’t give you “Nigerian” respect then find somewhere else to live.

If things were so good at your own Parent’s home why don’t you live with them? Better respect yourself.
Don’t make that woman notice that you hate her children, she can make your life difficult. Grow up!

The OP has a lot of growing up to do.

If u are smart bookwise, maybe start teaching them little mathematics... algebra, fractions, LCM, HCF etc..
during this lock down, if they are not learning online, any kind of teaching will be a welcomed development. .. just do it as fun..U might start loving it...being their superior in terms of education will give you respect if that's what you want..

I don't know what you are really on about, but I would mainly like to commend your writing skill. The fluidity is amazing. Your punctuations are almost intact. And for your age, that is impressive.

I hope you get a solution to the squabble you have with your little cousins, though.

ask God for help and read books on how to train children

Kids can be pain in the ass. You need to see how my nieces do make my sister in-law go nut in those days, I use to think she is a very hash woman until I was ask to babysit.

Please learn how to manage them. If you get it right and learn tolorance, patience you will be great in man management. I don't support them hitting you for any reason at all, that is bad.

Pastemj:
Jezzzz
Sorry please calm down everyone
I'm really not rude.
I do everything I am asked to do right and I can challenge that fact anywhere I go.
My Aunt never saw the question I asked as rude or so I believe because we both laughed about it.
The only problem I have is THE CHILDREN'S CHARACTER and that wasn't a problem until the lockdown started and I had more time to lazy around in the house.

I'll break it down in points
1. The parents are usually at work Mon-Fri even with the lockdown, hence, I am indoors with children until they are back.
2. When they eventually get back no productive conversation goes on apart from "mummy what did you buy for me?" "Mummy what will we eat?" and then they watch some TV and go to bed. With this little time spent with the kids, I tend to be on the receiving end of all the characters both good and bad. EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE THE LOCKDOWN.
3. The only days I manage to distance myself I get a backlash saying I don't love them this and that. Meanwhile I do everything I am asked to do. Cook, clean, dust name it. It's not like I'm being rude or anything
I'm just a young growing woman begging for space from children that want to drive me nuts


I see this as a parasitic relationship. I am on the loss side and all of them profit more from my interactions.

When they get home they see the good parts in the children because I have paid the price I have corrected them, shouted, warned, name it just so they'd behave well and then the little time I take a time off I become the devil, the unloving person.

Let me explain my distance:
I wake up in the morning, wait for her to finish everything in the kitchen cause she wouldn't let me help her, then I go ahead and wash the plates, do my daily hygiene and then fix myself a breakfast, all this done without saying a word to the kids except I am asked a reasonable question. That continues to late at night. The only thing I do is I don't talk as much, I pick my words and I'm always in my room unless I am needed brethren that Is all I do.

in all honesty, you are doing this, doing that, but what you are not doing is treating the kids better. If they get fond of you, they will treat you as their friend. You treat them like some project, not like people. Listen learn to treat them better. Your aunty treats you well, so you don't really have a problem.

Ishilove:
The OP has a lot of growing up to do.

A whole lot i must say and obviously she not ready to admit.

Guess with time she will understand