Abeg OP don't transfer aggression to the innocent girl , confront your wife with evidence but leave the girl out of it.

She knows you as her father, please don't treat her differently.

Survivor2020:

... For the past few days now I have been treating her and her child differently every night when I get home from work I will buy snacks for the other 4 kids without buying for her child and when she comes to my room I will kick her out ...

Treat your wife like trash but not the little girl, she is innocent, she never asked for all these.

Some women are verse at creating instability and distrust in the early stage of their marriage, through what is called the Hoe Phase/Moment. But Oga, you aided her "hoeing" by reneging on what you earlier agreed on, and also by refusing to use protection. A lot of people have advised you do a DNA test as soon as possible to clear your doubt. That is the only way out of this predicament.

I don't asking her to reveal the paternity of the child would produce favourable/meaningful result. If anything, she might attempt to turn the table on you, by weaving the feminine manipulation card that purportedly portrays her as the victim.

Do a DNA test first(although secretly so you don't get manipulated by your wife's feminine power) before jumping to conclusions.

Survivor2020:
When I met my wife she said that she wanted a non sexual relationship because of the past bad experiences she had when with her ex boyfriend. I was fine with that because I had been with so many girls in the past and I already had a child with one of my ex but we broke up because she traveled abroad . I was ready to settle down so I told her it’s fine by me I love for real and I am not after her for sex , I want to settle with her.

During courtship we had never been alone she always visited me with her friends and most of the time we used to meet in public places she wanted it like that to avoid temptation . I have tried before jokingly demanding her for sex but she bluntly refused. But I was surprised on valentine day 2013 she came alone without her friends , she wore a seducing dress exposing her breast unlike her because she had never wore something like that before immediately she entered she sat on my lap and started caressing me and everything was like a dream to me .

I then asked her why she suddenly changed her mind , she said she have seen how happy I made her ever since she is been with me so she has decided to have sex with me but she said I should promised her that I will never dump her after sex for another woman. I have told her I cannot do such and will never dumped her because if I only wanted her for sex then I wouldn’t have stayed with her for a year and 6 months when there is other women out there who willingly would have given me the sex but I didn’t go after them


Because I love and want to spend the rest of my life with her . We had sex and continuing been having sex then in May 2013 She told me she was pregnant , I was so excited even taught I didn’t want any pregnancy before marriage but I have accepted my responsibilities and we started planning for our wedding , we did our traditional marriage 3 months before she was due she gave birth to a baby girl in November 2013 and our white and court wedding was the following year. To cut the long story we have 4 children together plus the 1 From my previous relationship making them 5 but I have been doubting whether my first child with her is mine , the reason why she looks exactly nothing like me or her mother, my wife and I are both dark skinned same as our other 4 children they are all dark skinned and looks exactly like my wife and I and my first daughter from my previous relationship is my carbon copy but my first child with my wife she is fair with beautiful curly hair like a mixed race Indian which I believe she is my wife ex boyfriend child , I saw her ex pictures before on Facebook he is fair mixed race ,his mother is Indian mother and Nigerian father my daughter looks exactly like him .

I saved his picture on my phone and mix it together with my daughter picture , and I went around asking strangers if they could see any resemblance of him and the child , I lied to those strangers that my daughter was my niece and the guy has been denying her and everybody that I asked has confirmed that the resemblance is so much that he is her father. My heart is broken in pieces because I loved my girl
So much she is the most loving and caring child , she is always with me when I am
Home she love spending time with me , the first thing she does when she wakes up she will come to my room to ask if I am fine.

I remembered when I had an accident at work I broke my wrist she was always there for me asking daddy how are you feeling today , do you want me to
Make something for you to eat and she is always in the kitchen helping her mother to prepare food for me , out of all my children she is the most caring one even my first daughter at 15 she is not that caring .

It break my heart to know that she is not mine that I have been raising someone else child for 7 long years it pained me so bad that she is been lying to me all those years and I strongly believe the reason she has agreed to give me sex was because her ex has gotten her pregnant then dumped her so she came to have sex with me when she was already pregnant so she could set me up for her pregnancy which is not mine. I hate her for doing this to me which I think I will never forgive her, I wouldn’t mind if she was a single mother when I met her because I was also a single father , I would have happily married her with her child but for her to set me up with a pregnancy which is not mine and for 7 long years I have been raising her child believing she is mine I don’t think I will ever forgive her .

I know that I haven’t done any DNA test yet to be sure if she is mine or not but asking strangers was enough proofs for me to confirm my suspicions. For the past few days now I have been treating her and her child differently every night when I get home from work I will buy snacks for the other 4 kids without buying for her child and when she comes to my room I will kick her out , I know I have been hurting her feeling badly for her to see how her dad has sudden change towards her but I just can’t help it because I don’t know why the love I had for the child has disappeared , as for my wife I hate her even more I see her as a betrayer , I have been avoiding her and have been sleeping in the parlour which she is been wondering about the sudden change in me but I am waiting for the right time to come so I can spill the beans and only God knows what will happen after .. I am at loss . I don’t know what advice you can offer me because I don’t have anyone else to turn to. Please forgive me if I made some mistake grammar and vocabulary

Do not take any action yet until u do a DNA test

Survivor2020:
When I met my wife she said that she wanted a non sexual relationship because of the past bad experiences she had when with her ex boyfriend. I was fine with that because I had been with so many girls in the past and I already had a child with one of my ex but we broke up because she traveled abroad . I was ready to settle down so I told her it’s fine by me I love for real and I am not after her for sex , I want to settle with her.

During courtship we had never been alone she always visited me with her friends and most of the time we used to meet in public places she wanted it like that to avoid temptation . I have tried before jokingly demanding her for sex but she bluntly refused. But I was surprised on valentine day 2013 she came alone without her friends , she wore a seducing dress exposing her breast unlike her because she had never wore something like that before immediately she entered she sat on my lap and started caressing me and everything was like a dream to me .

I then asked her why she suddenly changed her mind , she said she have seen how happy I made her ever since she is been with me so she has decided to have sex with me but she said I should promised her that I will never dump her after sex for another woman. I have told her I cannot do such and will never dumped her because if I only wanted her for sex then I wouldn’t have stayed with her for a year and 6 months when there is other women out there who willingly would have given me the sex but I didn’t go after them


Because I love and want to spend the rest of my life with her . We had sex and continuing been having sex then in May 2013 She told me she was pregnant , I was so excited even taught I didn’t want any pregnancy before marriage but I have accepted my responsibilities and we started planning for our wedding , we did our traditional marriage 3 months before she was due she gave birth to a baby girl in November 2013 and our white and court wedding was the following year. To cut the long story we have 4 children together plus the 1 From my previous relationship making them 5 but I have been doubting whether my first child with her is mine , the reason why she looks exactly nothing like me or her mother, my wife and I are both dark skinned same as our other 4 children they are all dark skinned and looks exactly like my wife and I and my first daughter from my previous relationship is my carbon copy but my first child with my wife she is fair with beautiful curly hair like a mixed race Indian which I believe she is my wife ex boyfriend child , I saw her ex pictures before on Facebook he is fair mixed race ,his mother is Indian mother and Nigerian father my daughter looks exactly like him .

I saved his picture on my phone and mix it together with my daughter picture , and I went around asking strangers if they could see any resemblance of him and the child , I lied to those strangers that my daughter was my niece and the guy has been denying her and everybody that I asked has confirmed that the resemblance is so much that he is her father. My heart is broken in pieces because I loved my girl
So much she is the most loving and caring child , she is always with me when I am
Home she love spending time with me , the first thing she does when she wakes up she will come to my room to ask if I am fine.

I remembered when I had an accident at work I broke my wrist she was always there for me asking daddy how are you feeling today , do you want me to
Make something for you to eat and she is always in the kitchen helping her mother to prepare food for me , out of all my children she is the most caring one even my first daughter at 15 she is not that caring .

It break my heart to know that she is not mine that I have been raising someone else child for 7 long years it pained me so bad that she is been lying to me all those years and I strongly believe the reason she has agreed to give me sex was because her ex has gotten her pregnant then dumped her so she came to have sex with me when she was already pregnant so she could set me up for her pregnancy which is not mine. I hate her for doing this to me which I think I will never forgive her, I wouldn’t mind if she was a single mother when I met her because I was also a single father , I would have happily married her with her child but for her to set me up with a pregnancy which is not mine and for 7 long years I have been raising her child believing she is mine I don’t think I will ever forgive her .

I know that I haven’t done any DNA test yet to be sure if she is mine or not but asking strangers was enough proofs for me to confirm my suspicions. For the past few days now I have been treating her and her child differently every night when I get home from work I will buy snacks for the other 4 kids without buying for her child and when she comes to my room I will kick her out , I know I have been hurting her feeling badly for her to see how her dad has sudden change towards her but I just can’t help it because I don’t know why the love I had for the child has disappeared , as for my wife I hate her even more I see her as a betrayer , I have been avoiding her and have been sleeping in the parlour which she is been wondering about the sudden change in me but I am waiting for the right time to come so I can spill the beans and only God knows what will happen after .. I am at loss . I don’t know what advice you can offer me because I don’t have anyone else to turn to. Please forgive me if I made some mistake grammar and vocabulary

Go for a DNA test you illiterate clown. It wouldn't be too hard for you to get a strand of her without her knowledge would it?

Survivor2020:
When I met my wife she said that she wanted a non sexual relationship because of the past bad experiences she had when with her ex boyfriend. I was fine with that because I had been with so many girls in the past and I already had a child with one of my ex but we broke up because she traveled abroad . I was ready to settle down so I told her it’s fine by me I love for real and I am not after her for sex , I want to settle with her.

During courtship we had never been alone she always visited me with her friends and most of the time we used to meet in public places she wanted it like that to avoid temptation . I have tried before jokingly demanding her for sex but she bluntly refused. But I was surprised on valentine day 2013 she came alone without her friends , she wore a seducing dress exposing her breast unlike her because she had never wore something like that before immediately she entered she sat on my lap and started caressing me and everything was like a dream to me .

I then asked her why she suddenly changed her mind , she said she have seen how happy I made her ever since she is been with me so she has decided to have sex with me but she said I should promised her that I will never dump her after sex for another woman. I have told her I cannot do such and will never dumped her because if I only wanted her for sex then I wouldn’t have stayed with her for a year and 6 months when there is other women out there who willingly would have given me the sex but I didn’t go after them


Because I love and want to spend the rest of my life with her . We had sex and continuing been having sex then in May 2013 She told me she was pregnant , I was so excited even taught I didn’t want any pregnancy before marriage but I have accepted my responsibilities and we started planning for our wedding , we did our traditional marriage 3 months before she was due she gave birth to a baby girl in November 2013 and our white and court wedding was the following year. To cut the long story we have 4 children together plus the 1 From my previous relationship making them 5 but I have been doubting whether my first child with her is mine , the reason why she looks exactly nothing like me or her mother, my wife and I are both dark skinned same as our other 4 children they are all dark skinned and looks exactly like my wife and I and my first daughter from my previous relationship is my carbon copy but my first child with my wife she is fair with beautiful curly hair like a mixed race Indian which I believe she is my wife ex boyfriend child , I saw her ex pictures before on Facebook he is fair mixed race ,his mother is Indian mother and Nigerian father my daughter looks exactly like him .

I saved his picture on my phone and mix it together with my daughter picture , and I went around asking strangers if they could see any resemblance of him and the child , I lied to those strangers that my daughter was my niece and the guy has been denying her and everybody that I asked has confirmed that the resemblance is so much that he is her father. My heart is broken in pieces because I loved my girl
So much she is the most loving and caring child , she is always with me when I am
Home she love spending time with me , the first thing she does when she wakes up she will come to my room to ask if I am fine.

I remembered when I had an accident at work I broke my wrist she was always there for me asking daddy how are you feeling today , do you want me to
Make something for you to eat and she is always in the kitchen helping her mother to prepare food for me , out of all my children she is the most caring one even my first daughter at 15 she is not that caring .

It break my heart to know that she is not mine that I have been raising someone else child for 7 long years it pained me so bad that she is been lying to me all those years and I strongly believe the reason she has agreed to give me sex was because her ex has gotten her pregnant then dumped her so she came to have sex with me when she was already pregnant so she could set me up for her pregnancy which is not mine. I hate her for doing this to me which I think I will never forgive her, I wouldn’t mind if she was a single mother when I met her because I was also a single father , I would have happily married her with her child but for her to set me up with a pregnancy which is not mine and for 7 long years I have been raising her child believing she is mine I don’t think I will ever forgive her .

I know that I haven’t done any DNA test yet to be sure if she is mine or not but asking strangers was enough proofs for me to confirm my suspicions. For the past few days now I have been treating her and her child differently every night when I get home from work I will buy snacks for the other 4 kids without buying for her child and when she comes to my room I will kick her out , I know I have been hurting her feeling badly for her to see how her dad has sudden change towards her but I just can’t help it because I don’t know why the love I had for the child has disappeared , as for my wife I hate her even more I see her as a betrayer , I have been avoiding her and have been sleeping in the parlour which she is been wondering about the sudden change in me but I am waiting for the right time to come so I can spill the beans and only God knows what will happen after .. I am at loss . I don’t know what advice you can offer me because I don’t have anyone else to turn to. Please forgive me if I made some mistake grammar and vocabulary

The little innocent girl isn't your problem, your wife is! STOP HURTING THE LITTLE GIRL!
Moreover when did we start making judgements based on assumption? Until you have done a DNA test or get your wife to confirm your assumption, you have no real base for your argument.
Again, STOP HURTING THE LITTLE GIRL. SHE IS INNOCENT of whatever the case may be!
Your best bet, call your wife aside and talk to her. Stop postponing the talk and have the talk immediately at least for your sanity.
When you finally have this talk with your wife, whether she confirms your assumption or not, whether you decide to stay on with the marriage or not, DON'T HURT THE LITTLE GIRL AGAIN IN THE WAY YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE.
She didn't bring herself into the world. Your wife did. Hold your wife to it not the little innocent girl.

**But mehn, even with the affection the little girl gives you, you have the heart to make her feel different.

Dat child may be or may not be urs but one thing for sure she loves u as father de mom may have done wrong but don't put it on dat innocent child for u to go to extreme of not buying snack for her while buying for others isn't right but very wicked of u . Dat child may be ur helper tommorow forgive de deceit of de mother and embrace ur child .

LadySarah:


This was really wicked of her to do if it comes out true. .
First you need to call and have a talk with your wife. How will she know why you suddenly started the resentment.

Stop being harsh on the girl, she didn't ask to be born.
If you love her make moves to adopt her so nobody will drag her with you. This is after contacting the said biological father. But if you don't want her you are still right.

Fathers are not only biological!

Honestly!
OP, save money do DNA test to be 100% sure.
If that child is not yours. Whatever line of action you take, except physical violence, is really up to you.

Home DNA is cheap and effective.
You can do that.

hmm some women sha

juman:
Home DNA is cheap and effective.
You can do that.

How much does it cost please ?

Uncle, without d dna test, you cannot prove that she is not your daughter, what if she is? You said she loves and cares for you like a real daughter would, pls don't treat her unfairly, she didn't bring her self to this life, her mother did, do the dna test, and talk things out with her mum, then if you wish adopt her legally to avoid the fear of her real dad coming to take her from you, she is your daughter,love and treat her right.

Thanks for all the advice . I confronted my wife she said the child is mine and I can go ahead and do the dna test to proof , if it turned out I am her father she will divorce me and stop me having access to my children. I know she is trying to manipulate me because she doesn’t want me to do dna to find out the truth also I believe the reason she said this was because I don’t have the money for the test right now so she is been acting like she is not guilty and I have told her no matter what I will do the test before the year ends but I will secretly do it next month hope to have a good result

Friso:
I don't know why some people just blatantly hate peace, my child, her child, their child. Oga leave that story and continue to train the child, who knows who will be help to you 2mro.
Listen, one day we will all pass on, the story of my child, my money and my estate will be gone. Just be a reason why some one is happy today.
This life is too short, to want to kill yourself on someone's mistake.

Lmao

Whenever I want to hear/read something ridiculous I always pop in here in the family section and you guys never disappoint. . You mean the dude who's been lied to for close to a decade and deceived into raising someone else's child is the one who hates peace and not the woman who sets the whole thing in motion in the first place. . Amazing job you did at vilifying the victim here, sir/ma, and it's also unsurprising comments such as yours tend to rack up the most likes around here.

Weirdest section on nairaland, good for the laughs these days

Chaii.. To me, a child must not only be the one you gave life !. Love those who love you (unconditionally too). That child is a sweetheart and deserves love. She shouldn't be blame or punished for her mother's infidelity(moreso not confirmed). You need God direction to guide you. Truly, this child could not he yours but she could be your Angel that would take care of you.

Survivor2020:

How much does it cost please ?

Like hundred dollars or so.
You can get the kit from online or from reliable pharmacy.

The child is innocent and should not be made to suffer the sin of her mother. I will advise that you prayerfully and maturely confront your wife with the evidence you have. If she owns up, please forgive her and father the child. If you overreact you will cause more emotional damage to yourself, your wife and your daughter...even your entire household. The once happy family might become decimated and divided! Your wife definitely didn't do well but just let go and she will forever respect and love you. Remember love covers a multitude of sin. May God heal your heart and bless your home in Jesus name

Righteousness89:
Calm Down Bro... it could be Really Hurting but you need to Calm down so you Don't Do something you will get to Regret!

Calm down and Try to pour out your feelings to your Wife..

If she still argues, you go for Proper Dna if not for anything, to Clear your Conscience..

If she Confesses, you need to Calm down and think about what you Really wanna do..

In all you Do! Don't Unleash Wrath on that little girl. She has done you Nothing.

Whether or not you are her Father, She is your Daughter.

She Could even be the one to Put the Biggest Smile on your Face.

So much wisdom in one post. Nice one bro

Op you need to calm down.
Nobody holy pass.
Even if your wife is at fault, please you need to be very careful with your actions.
Whatever you do will make or Mal you.

Please treat your kids equally.

My personal opinion, if your wife apologized to you, you can get angry, shout, bittered but do remember to forgive.

I repeat do remember to forgive.

We only live once!!!

Survivor2020:
Thanks for all the advice . I confronted my wife she said the child is mine and I can go ahead and do the dna test to proof , if it turned out I am her father she will divorce me and stop me having access to my children. I know she is trying to manipulate me because she doesn’t want me to do dna to find out the truth also I believe the reason she said this was because I don’t have the money for the test right now so she is been acting like she is not guilty and I have told her no matter what I will do the test before the year ends but I will secretly do it next month hope to have a good result

did u do d dna testing?

Survivor2020:
Thanks all for the advice . My step next is to do a dna test but it’s too expensive 150,000 I have been saving money for the test and there is no way I can confront my wife without the test result incase she is truly mine which I doubts that can never be possible ,like I said earlier I am waiting for the right time to come I was talking about dna. Secondly I am
Not intentionally hating my innocent child because all it is not of her faults but her mother is to blamed for this , if she was being honest with me from the beginning maybe all this couldn’t have happened. I just can’t help it and I wish everything will turned out better for me and my child like it used to be before even if the test has proven that she is not mine I will divorce her mother but I would love to have a better relationship with her as her uncle and stepdaughter or whatever she would like to call me when it happens because she has her father , there is no way I will take her father place in her life.

Do the test already make we hear word!!!!

lifenija:
did u do d dna testing?

Yes I did the test she wasn't my daughter

Survivor2020:



Yes I did the test she wasn't my daughter

Waoh!!! U ve really been through alot.

That was the reason for the divorce

Survivor2020:



Yes I did the test she wasn't my daughter

That adorable girl is your daughter in spite of the dna result. Fatherhood is more that just impregnating a woman. True fatherhood is a huge responsibility and you have demonstrated that. Please take good care of your daughter and you will see how God will honour you. Blessings!

Simping is pain itself, while you're waiting for the right time his ex was having marathon sex with her until the time she'll use you.
You served your purpose and now the pain.
You simping is having effect on you again, how dare you treat an Innocent child such way, take full control of your emotions and do the right. It's never too late to stop making wrong decisions.

Divorce is an option here
Divorce the b!tch and care for your children, as for the child try meet up with the ex and redress the situation. No father will deny his child but should the worst happen, sue him and take full custody. Solve it once and for all and be at peace with yourself.

Survivor2020:



Yes I did the test she wasn't my daughter

Bro, where did you do it ..I need to do mine

Survivor2020:
When I met my wife she said that she wanted a non sexual relationship because of the past bad experiences she had when with her ex boyfriend. I was fine with that because I had been with so many girls in the past and I already had a child with one of my ex but we broke up because she traveled abroad . I was ready to settle down so I told her it’s fine by me I love for real and I am not after her for sex , I want to settle with her.

During courtship we had never been alone she always visited me with her friends and most of the time we used to meet in public places she wanted it like that to avoid temptation . I have tried before jokingly demanding her for sex but she bluntly refused. But I was surprised on valentine day 2013 she came alone without her friends , she wore a seducing dress exposing her breast unlike her because she had never wore something like that before immediately she entered she sat on my lap and started caressing me and everything was like a dream to me .

I then asked her why she suddenly changed her mind , she said she have seen how happy I made her ever since she is been with me so she has decided to have sex with me but she said I should promised her that I will never dump her after sex for another woman. I have told her I cannot do such and will never dumped her because if I only wanted her for sex then I wouldn’t have stayed with her for a year and 6 months when there is other women out there who willingly would have given me the sex but I didn’t go after them


Because I love and want to spend the rest of my life with her . We had sex and continuing been having sex then in May 2013 She told me she was pregnant , I was so excited even though I didn’t want any pregnancy before marriage but I have accepted my responsibilities and we started planning for our wedding , we did our traditional marriage 3 months before she was due she gave birth to a baby girl in November 2013 and our white and court wedding was the following year. To cut the long story we have 4 children together plus the 1 From my previous relationship making them 5 but I have been doubting whether my first child with her is mine , the reason why she looks exactly nothing like me or her mother, my wife and I are both dark skinned same as our other 4 children they are all dark skinned and looks exactly like my wife and I and my first daughter from my previous relationship is my carbon copy but my first child with my wife she is fair with beautiful curly hair like a mixed race Indian which I believe she is my wife ex boyfriend child , I saw her ex pictures before on Facebook he is fair mixed race ,his mother is Indian mother and Nigerian father my daughter looks exactly like him .

I saved his picture on my phone and mix it together with my daughter picture , and I went around asking strangers if they could see any resemblance of him and the child , I lied to those strangers that my daughter was my niece and the guy has been denying her and everybody that I asked has confirmed that the resemblance is so much that he is her father. My heart is broken in pieces because I loved my girl
So much she is the most loving and caring child , she is always with me when I am
Home she love spending time with me , the first thing she does when she wakes up she will come to my room to ask if I am fine.

I remembered when I had an accident at work I broke my wrist she was always there for me asking daddy how are you feeling today , do you want me to
Make something for you to eat and she is always in the kitchen helping her mother to prepare food for me , out of all my children she is the most caring one even my first daughter at 15 she is not that caring .

It break my heart to know that she is not mine that I have been raising someone else child for 7 long years it pained me so bad that she is been lying to me all those years and I strongly believe the reason she has agreed to give me sex was because her ex has gotten her pregnant then dumped her so she came to have sex with me when she was already pregnant so she could set me up for her pregnancy which is not mine. I hate her for doing this to me which I think I will never forgive her, I wouldn’t mind if she was a single mother when I met her because I was also a single father , I would have happily married her with her child but for her to set me up with a pregnancy which is not mine and for 7 long years I have been raising her child believing she is mine I don’t think I will ever forgive her .

I know that I haven’t done any DNA test yet to be sure if she is mine or not but asking strangers was enough proofs for me to confirm my suspicions. For the past few days now I have been treating her and her child differently every night when I get home from work I will buy snacks for the other 4 kids without buying for her child and when she comes to my room I will kick her out , I know I have been hurting her feeling badly for her to see how her dad has sudden change towards her but I just can’t help it because I don’t know why the love I had for the child has disappeared , as for my wife I hate her even more I see her as a betrayer , I have been avoiding her and have been sleeping in the parlour which she is been wondering about the sudden change in me but I am waiting for the right time to come so I can spill the beans and only God knows what will happen after .. I am at loss . I don’t know what advice you can offer me because I don’t have anyone else to turn to. Please forgive me if I made some mistake grammar and vocabulary

Please don't hate the girl, it is not her fault so that you don't attract the punishment of God on you. You have to discuss it with your wife

Survivor2020:



Yes I did the test she wasn't my daughter

Haaa! So sorry to read this. I dont know why any woman will feel comfortable with paternity fraud. It never ends well. Please be kind to the little girl.