I have a situation going on in my life right now with the woman that I love and i need your perspective in this situation.

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She's trying to manipulate you with guilt bruh

You can send her the money but be sure that the business can be able to generate revenue for subsequent shop rent.


Follow her up to know when she starts the business in the shop. Then, from time to time, when you know she must be in the shop you give her a video call. That is only when you will know the truth.

But to be frank, I see people who are abroad and sponsoring ladies in Nigeria for the sake of marriage as charity organisations.

TheAviator2000:
I have a situation going on in my life right now with the woman that I love and i need your perspective in this situation.

To give you some background, my girlfriend and i have been together for almost 5 years in a mostly long distance relationship as i left the country after the first year of meeting her. When I finally found my feet abroad, I started sending her about 40k every month as upkeep money even without her asking. I have been consistently sending her this upkeep for about a year now and have never asked nor received anything in return.

Few weeks ago, my girlfriend mentioned that she needed a shop to expand has fast growing business as working from home is no longer convenient and she is beginning to loose customers as a result of that. I was really happy to hear that and promised to give her my support.

She eventually found a store that cost about N300k per annum and indicated that she had saved about 240k and needed about 150k from me to cover the remaining rent fees, agency fees, admin fees and minor renovations. I pledged to send her the money this week and as a man of my words, i intend to send it.

However, somethings did not sit right in with me and I inquired to know how she was able to save 240k as she had never ever mentioned having that type of money saved up. Before i sent her monthly upkeep money (40k), i always inquired to know how she was doing financially and there has never been a time where she mentioned she was saving money or have 240k saved up somewhere. As a matter of fact, she has never indicated to have more than 10k at any point in time

To end my doubts, i asked her send me a screenshot of her bank statement showing the savings and this made her really upset to the point of going into a rant about "lack of trust" in the relationship. Mind you, i have never asked her to send her back statement before and have never been the type to distrust the things she said as she has never really given me any reason to. I have always been supportive and the one time I actually needed some "assurance" to quell my doubts, she wasn't able to provide it.
At this point, I feel there is some level of deceit on her part to get some money from me.

I also asked her to send me picture of the store and she said she didn't take any picture when she went to check it ...

Last week, i told her to apply for a passport and wanted to send her like 80k to do that as my goal was to facilitate her eventual relocation to join me but on Saturday, she told me that she prefers the money goes into getting her store set up and she can always apply the passport with the money she makes from her store... hmmmm

To be honest, i am really upset and slightly depressed because I come across people back home trying to "job" me for cash but never thought it would come from my inner circle.

At this point, i have mentally moved on and after i send that 150k, i will block her everywhere and move on with my life. ... That is honestly how i feel right now

She is innocent till proven guilty...

It's well

emillysmigael:
She is innocent till proven guilty...

I don't believe there is a wrong or right here.
The fact is that there is no evidence to prove that there is 240k savings on her part - No bank statement screenshot
There is also no evidence to prove there is actually a store - No pictures
Also, all the while I have been sending her "upkeep" money, she has never indicated she had savings - Facts


Those are the facts.
I hate relying on my imagination to connect the dots but there are more questions than answers here

....If she can't send those evidences you asked of,then pause. Don't send her any money yet.

Do your investigations to findout what's she is hiding from you

Another guy might be behind the scene.

Use your head.

So why still sending her the money if you'll block her and move on? Why not save your money for yourself. Besides, no concrete evidence she's scamming you.

I go dey abroad i go dey send money to one naija girl at home? When i no craze, even my grand father will come back from the grave and give me 200 strokes.

She has to provide the statement of acct. She shouldn't have problem doing that if truly she has nothing to hide.

40k monthly! That's the money a family of 3 can manage in a month, and you're using your own to do long distance relationship. Continue!

Let her provide evidence else don't send!

OP has been yahooed,, the earlier you buckle up the better for you.

TheAviator2000:
I have a situation going on in my life right now with the woman that I love and i need your perspective in this situation.

To give you some background, my girlfriend and i have been together for almost 5 years in a mostly long distance relationship as i left the country after the first year of meeting her. When I finally found my feet abroad, I started sending her about 40k every month as upkeep money even without her asking. I have been consistently sending her this upkeep for about a year now and have never asked nor received anything in return.



. Mind you, i have never asked her to send her back statement before and have never been the type to distrust the things she said as she has never really given me any reason to. I have always been supportive and the one time I actually needed some ... That is honestly how i feel right now

Bros know you are being scammed. I know you know. It would be in your best interest not to send her that money, cos it will make the breakup less painful. If you send, you'll just keep hurting yourself.


If a lady you have been supporting for over 2 years is finding it hard to send acct balance, then she's stupid. And if you send her that remaining money, you are more stupid. There's nothing like sending because you are man of your words. You just want to be foolish.


I'm sure the babe makes jest of you among her friends. No lady respects such a man like you e.g she doesn't listen to whatever advice you give her.
She sees you as ATM and not her lover and when she's done with you, you'll come back here to cry more.

Trust your instinct.

Really painful...well thank God your smart guy, but don't be a good for nothing..My advise don't send her a Kobo!! $he's up to no good..long distance relationship can go sour the very first day you travelled trust me. Keep your head up and move on bro. Cheers!!!

Oga e be like say you just dey pour water for inside basket.

In other words,you're just chasing after the wind

Think seriously about what you're doing and getting yourself into

in this age and time of social media and girls been spoilt with abundance of attention a guy would believe in the coax of a long term relationship... bro wake up in the first place long term relationship is a scam... so you believe she is over here not seeing someone?

And I think the op is the type of guy that don't have experience with dating several ladies, so he is suffering from scarcity mentality, is their no girls in the town or city you migrated to? please ghost this girl, and get out there and mingle...

My brother please quit being a Simp....your supposed girlfriend have found you a fertile pasture to pluck money from..

What were you even thinking counting on the loyalty of a female partner in this country at this age and time when you're thousands of kilometres away.

Even those here with their girlfriends cannot trust them to remain loyal for a month apart let alone 5 whole years and in a foreign country.

Op my advice to you is to give her N100k certainly not the N150k she asked for and please do find yourself a decent lady close to you there..loyalty in long distant relationships is seldom faithful.

Wish you the best of luck my brother, we will yet survive them all.

Buhari and his other goons are defrauding 200m people and 1 out of the defrauded 200m is defrauding another mr nice guy probably living in a sane country..
If she doesn't defraud you, who else will??

This life truly no balance

Oga, I almost stopped reading your story, when I got to the 2nd paragraph because I know it will end in tears.

In 2009, my coz wanted to marry a girl and then send her to same university that I finished from, before he travels abroad. I told him the hard truth, the probability of me protecting this beautiful girl in school is zero, and the chances of her banging lecturers, her course mates, or other students is 97%. He listened. He is married to a woman he met over there.

Oga, do you think as you are sending her monthly stipend, she is going to be faithful and won't lie to you? Maybe, she's innocent but for your bullsh!t alarm to be raised means something is wrong. Tell her yes, you don't trust her.

For you not to be in a deeper sh!t, you have to be logical in your thinking.

Some men dey try sha.

Good luck

Sparogatively... a standardt guy insists on his opinion if it's generally thought to be wise!

You have moved on mentally and you still want to send her the 150k and after that block her everywhere without her doing wat u requested for¿

Op you are not a standardt guy!

TheAviator2000:


I am a man of my word!
I promised her the money without conditions and that remains "standard".

So if you promise a supposed Scammer that you will send him/her money for a particular transaction and you later discover the deal is highly shady...will you still go ahead with the transaction because you are a man of your word?

Op I don tok am bfr I no sabi re-echo something

Standardt guy!

AmazingELixir:



My brother please quit being a Simp....your supposed girlfriend have found you a fertile pasture to pluck money from..

What were you even thinking counting on the loyalty of a female partner in this country at this age and time when you're thousands of kilometres away.

Even those here with their girlfriends cannot trust them to remain loyal for a month apart let alone 5 whole years and in a foreign country.

Op my advice to you is to give her N100k certainly not the N150k she asked for and please do find yourself a decent lady close to you there..loyalty in long distant relationships is seldom faithful.

Wish you the best of luck my brother, we will yet survive them all.

Well, the reason I am still with her is because we were together before i moved out of the country and i saw no reason for things to change even though the geography has changed. I never doubted her and supported as soon as i got to a position where i am able to support.
Now, i just feel like dammmnnn!! If i can't trust her, then what is the point?
People in Naija always trying to get money from me which is normal but never saw this coming from someone i loved.

You be mumu!! Long distance relationship in this bad era

Hambivert:
Sparogatively... a standardt guy insists on his opinion if it's generally thought to be wise!

You have moved on mentally and you still want to send her the 150k and after that block her everywhere without her doing wat u requested for¿

Op you are not a standardt guy!

I am a man of my word!
I promised her the money without conditions and that remains "standard".

santos123:
You be mumu!! Long distance relationship in this bad era

Please no insult. Lets respect each other and have a cordial and friendly conversations.
Take care.

TheAviator2000:



Well, the reason I am still with her is because we were together before i moved out of the country and i saw no reason for things to change even though the geography has changed. I never doubted her and supported as soon as i got to a position where i am able to support.
Now, i just feel like dammmnnn!! If i can't trust her, then what is the point?
People in Naija always trying to get money from me which is normal but never saw this coming from someone i loved.

Oga you are a mumu, stop defending rubbish

TheAviator2000:
I have a situation going on in my life right now with the woman that I love and i need your perspective in this situation.

To give you some background, my girlfriend and i have been together for almost 5 years in a mostly long distance relationship as i left the country after the first year of meeting her. When I finally found my feet abroad, I started sending her about 40k every month as upkeep money even without her asking. I have been consistently sending her this upkeep for about a year now and have never asked nor received anything in return.

Few weeks ago, my girlfriend mentioned that she needed a shop to expand has fast growing business as working from home is no longer convenient and she is beginning to loose customers as a result of that. I was really happy to hear that and promised to give her my support.

She eventually found a store that cost about N300k per annum and indicated that she had saved about 240k and needed about 150k from me to cover the remaining rent fees, agency fees, admin fees and minor renovations. I pledged to send her the money this week and as a man of my words, i intend to send it.

However, somethings did not sit right in with me and I inquired to know how she was able to save 240k as she had never ever mentioned having that type of money saved up. Before i sent her monthly upkeep money (40k), i always inquired to know how she was doing financially and there has never been a time where she mentioned she was saving money or have 240k saved up somewhere. As a matter of fact, she has never indicated to have more than 10k at any point in time

To end my doubts, i asked her send me a screenshot of her bank statement showing the savings and this made her really upset to the point of going into a rant about "lack of trust" in the relationship. Mind you, i have never asked her to send her back statement before and have never been the type to distrust the things she said as she has never really given me any reason to. I have always been supportive and the one time I actually needed some "assurance" to quell my doubts, she wasn't able to provide it.
At this point, I feel there is some level of deceit on her part to get some money from me.

I also asked her to send me picture of the store and she said she didn't take any picture when she went to check it ...

Last week, i told her to apply for a passport and wanted to send her like 80k to do that as my goal was to facilitate her eventual relocation to join me but on Saturday, she told me that she prefers the money goes into getting her store set up and she can always apply the passport with the money she makes from her store... hmmmm

To be honest, i am really upset and slightly depressed because I come across people back home trying to "job" me for cash but never thought it would come from my inner circle.

At this point, i have mentally moved on and after i send that 150k, i will block her everywhere and move on with my life. ... That is honestly how i feel right now

Bros stupid is understatement of what you are, this do not have anything in mind for you she's there because of the money she's getting from you and next you will see is her invitation card, why are you foolishly spending money on a girl you're not married to, focus on what you went there to do when you come back a lot of girl who's royal will be waiting for you , all this things that our girls is doing to their husband abroad you still bring a pussy hoe there, please get some sense

A two side stuff bro
She might be wrong
She might be right.
Her not having a pic of the shop, don't mean anything. Kindly,tell her to go back and snap the shop and send to you,since you want prove (she can actually send an empty shop pics to you and still dupe you).

You were sending her 40k monthly, she might have been saving (of which she won't mention to you)Regarding the statement of account, I feel she has side benefits which she won't like you to see

Na Good heart you get, you no be mumu.
Find somebody over there abeg.

This type of relationship will end badly..stop sending money and end this relationship, you do not want to commit sucide when she sends wedding invitation to you after spending alot on her.

Use your money and save for yourself instead.

Tobiloba2407:


Oga you are a mumu, stop defending rubbish

If it was the other away around, i wouldn't want her to leave me simply because she is moving abroad.
Sometimes, you gotta put the shoe on the other foot to see the perspective of the person you're dealing with.

emillysmigael:
She is innocent till proven guilty...

His will he prove her guilty, you Nigeria girl will never see
Bad thing in everything ur fellow girls do, that's why all of una is evil

Bennysam:

His will he prove her guilty, you Nigeria girl will never see
Bad thing in everything ur fellow girls do, that's why all of una is evil

all of una is evil.!

That's my take-home lesson.. My English teacher must see this. Funke!!!

TheAviator2000:



Well, the reason I am still with her is because we were together before i moved out of the country and i saw no reason for things to change even though the geography has changed. I never doubted her and supported as soon as i got to a position where i am able to support.
Now, i just feel like dammmnnn!! If i can't trust her, then what is the point?
People in Naija always trying to get money from me which is normal but never saw this coming from someone i loved.

Sorry man but this was a gross mistake on your part.

Classifying Nigerians as money tasty mou'fvckers and singled out a female spotless and less devious angel out of the many, as the one that is holy. Not even his mom..smh

Congratulations you are wise.