Happy weekend,I have noticed this since last year that any office I enter it is only female that I encountered also any interview i went to we men are always plenty than women and at last we all know what we end it. I think this is why we don't have happy home these days because we all know that breadwinner wife will not be able to manage home with unemployed husband also unemployed men don't also want to get married which lead to many single ladies roaming the street and those men working also don't want to marry second wife because instead of promoting the male employee,most employers prefer to promote female counterpart especially in sales and marketing company.
Also our children nowadays lack home training because most of our wives these days doesn't stay at home to train them instead they are at their different offices closing late in the night. To solve this I think Government should be involve to regulate the job women can do e.g teachers,traders,marketers,newscaster etc not because of anything but our children and homes. What do you think?

Survival of the "smartest'.

Mindlog:
Survival of the "smartest'.

Are you saying women are the smartest in our generation?

Half baked breadwinner


If you're not providing 100% of finance you have no right on how your wife should live

Men are weaklings these days

The women getting the promotion are promoted by men

So you're the problem not women

Herdamorlar:

Are you saying women are the smartest in our generation?

It is not about women being smarter, it is about anyone seeing the need to up their game and don't expect work positions to be reserved for you. Organizations are more preoccupied with their balance sheets and would more likely go for whoever would deliver more.

Both fathers and mothers should be responsible for their kids' home training and government has no right to regulate what job a woman can do or not.

The fact is more women are getting educated and going for academic fields of high prestige

lilmax:
Half baked breadwinner


If you're not providing 100% of finance you have no right on how your wife should live

Men are weaklings these days

The women getting the promotion are promoted by men

So you're the problem not women

so if husband lost his job that husband has no right on his wife should live again because he is not providing.I disagree with you.

Yes,men are weaker sex these days.

let go to home of these women promoted and see if they are happy family and if her children are upbring rightly

Mindlog:


It is not about women being smarter, it is about anyone seeing the need to up their game and don't expect work positions to be reserved for you. Organizations are more preoccupied with their balance sheets and would more likely go for whoever would deliver more.

Both fathers and mothers should be responsible for their kids' home training and government has no right to regulate what job a woman can do or not.

Can you promote a married woman to a position of travelling abroad frequently because she up her game than her male counterpart?

Jedalord:
The fact is more women are getting educated and going for academic fields of high prestige

What do you think it will lead to if women take 80% of the available jobs

Herdamorlar:

Can you promote a married woman to a position of travelling abroad frequently because she up her game than her male counterpart?

Competence over gender! My Consultant Psychiatrist is female with some male Psychiatrists under her. She is regularly travelling round the world and that does not the diminish the fact that she is a wife and a mother.

From your perspective, it seems wrong for the previous governments to have appointed the likes of Ngozi Okonjo- Iweala, Dora Akinyili etc because they were married women and their positions did require them to travel abroad frequently.

Herdamorlar:


so if husband lost his job that husband has no right on his wife should live again because he is not providing.I disagree with you.

Yes,men are weaker sex these days.

let go to home of these women promoted and see if they are happy family and if her children are upbring rightly

So a woman's promotion at work translates to.an unhappy family? So a woman have to be a stay-at-home mum for there to be a happy family? Does a father not also have the responsibility to see that his children are brought up right?

Mindlog:
Survival of the "smartest'.

Herdamorlar:
Happy weekend,I have noticed this since last year that any office I enter it is only female that I encountered also any interview i went to we men are always plenty than women and at last we all know what we end it. I think this is why we don't have happy home these days because we all know that breadwinner wife will not be able to manage home with unemployed husband also unemployed men don't also want to get married which lead to many single ladies roaming the street and those men working also don't want to marry second wife because instead of promoting the male employee,most employers prefer to promote female counterpart especially in sales and marketing company.
Also our children nowadays lack home training because most of our wives these days doesn't stay at home to train them instead they are at their different offices closing late in the night. To solve this I think Government should be involve to regulate the job women can do e.g teachers,traders,marketers,newscaster etc not because of anything but our children and homes. What do you think?

MrBrownJay

Here is someone who needs your perspective on working women/wives/mothers.

I don't have the energy at the end of this month. Do the needful please. Thank you in advance.

Herdamorlar:

What do you think it will lead to if women take 80% of the available jobs

First of all, who told you that there is a fixed amount of available jobs?

Women can easily be employed based on sympathy

The OP will hit you differently depending on the side of the fence you are on.

Men from other countries are encouraging their wives to go out there and fulfil their career dreams, our sissy don't know what they want.
Today, it's that women are lazy; tomorrow, women are taking over the work force, next, it will be that women don't care for them anymore

School should start biko.

This is not a matter of governments intervention because it is a problem that started from the home front when men began to shy away from their responsibilities as the bread winner; leaving the women with no option but to take up the mantle and hit the labour market to be able to take it up from where you men left off. Now you want things to go back to the "drawing board". Ever heard
the word "change"? Times have changed.

It is also no fault of the female folk that they are given preference more than their male counterparts but mother nature favouring her own.

Also, it is not written any where that it's only the womans' responsibility to bring up good and godly children. It is a collective effort. So don't try to shift the blame of failed parenting to the women alone. If the children turn out well, everyone shares in the praise and if they turn out badly, everyone shares in the blame.

OP, my two cents. pray earnestly to God for yourself and the menfolk generally that God should restore back the headship of your homes back to you financially, occupationally and other aspects you feel the men are losing it.

Shalom.

Herdamorlar:

What do you think it will lead to if women take 80% of the available jobs

Your insecurity is frightening.
*shudders*
It's not anybody's fault that women seem to be getting stuff nowadays.
But expecting FG to regulate employment policies for private businesses is simply ridiculous.

Well, for the entry to middle level jobs, women are winning but the glass ceiling still applies in majority as the top management level is mostly filled with men. The reason is quite simple...

Entry/middle level
1. Faced with equals, it is always better to pick women because they are relatively cheaper to employ than men.
2. They look better than men on same level
3. Not as prone to fraud as men
4. Because of the tactical work mostly applicable at that level, women are better handlers
5. Women are easier to lead
6. When women actually put there minds to it, they learn pretty faster than men.

How to beat them?
Be better knowledgeable, experienced and presentable... You would essentially stop being equals

I have never come across a misogynist as this Op, it's beyond shocking really, the ones above trying to explain and make you see reasons really tried, how some males can comfortably blame women for almost everything beats me, you will be fine dude.

Biglittlelois:
I have never come across a misogynist as this Op, it's beyond shocking really, the ones above trying to explain and make you see reasons really tried, how some males can comfortably blame women for almost everything beats me, you will be fine dude.

Where is the misogyny in the OP's post?

How did he display hatred for women?

You can accuse the OP of being too 'traditional' or 'cultural'.

His premise of discussion is not new: I first encountered it on foreign forums.

Traditionally, a husband should win bread while a wife cares for the home.

If the husband has to compete with other women/wives for bread, how would he effectively win the bread and perform his financial duties?

Also keeping in mind that the wives getting the jobs are not using the resources to care for their families: so their husbands have to 'hustle' harder to maintain the 'financial' frame in the family.

If the wife who should care for the home is out winning bread (which would not be useful at a family level), who takes care of the some?

Some school of thought have further processed to say women shouldn't study some courses in college because it is a huge investment without returns at that end.

What everyone should bring to the table is the merits and demerits of the current/proposed system.

Women have the connections. Men work their way up

bukatyne:


1) Where is the misogyny in the OP's post?

2) How did he display hatred for women?

3) You can accuse the OP of being too 'traditional' or 'cultural'.

4) His premise of discussion is not new: I first encountered it on foreign forums.

5) Traditionally, a husband should win bread while a wife cares for the home.

6) If the husband has to compete with other women/wives for bread, how would he effectively win the bread and perform his financial duties?

7) Also keeping in mind that the wives getting the jobs are not using the resources to care for their families: so their husbands have to 'hustle' harder to maintain the 'financial' frame in the family.

If the wife who should care for the home is out winning bread (which would not be useful at a family level), who takes care of the some?

9) Some school of thought have further processed to say women shouldn't study some courses in college because it is a huge investment without returns at that end.

10) What everyone should bring to the table is the merits and demerits of the current/proposed system.

1) The misogyny is stated where it says govt. should regulate the type of jobs women should get.

2) His prejudice reeks everywhere in his comments because he may be a job seeker who has been to so many interviews for him to notice the female friendly environment which is distasteful/ disgusts him enough to open a thread on it.

3) You see traditional and cultural, I see a misogynist, opinion differs, I'll accuse as I see fit, let Op quote me and convince otherwise, or are you the Op?

4) I'm happy for you.

5) No argument about that, why the need to state it?

6) A husband will not see the need to compete if it has been stated beforehand and agreed upon that it will be a 50/50 financial commitment from both parties, only an insecure man will see his wife as a fellow competitor with a goal post at the finish line.

7) Same way these husbands don't use their resources to care for the family, so the wives have to hustle harder to maintain the financial frame in the family, some of them would actually make people believe their husbands brings more financially, we cannot for a fact know what happens in these sets of families to conclude that women in Op's category are bad.

8.) @emboldened, I'll assume some means home right? There are men in Nigeria who take care of the home while the wife does finances, it is happening and will continue to happen, though codedly cos the society forbids such, the earlier we allow people to be and do what works for them without judgement, the better it is for humanity.

9) Some school of thought is exactly what it is, "thoughts" not facts, everyone is allowed to air out their mind process and thinking, it is allowed.


10) What everyone should bring to the table is what works for them, not what is comfortable/favourable to him/her due to selfishness/disdain/envy of a particular gender as stated in the Op.

Government enforced job roles for women is misogyny.

Let’s say a lady decides to become a doctor but the government steps in to say she can’t because as we all know, doctors can be very busy. For the sake of her not being able to have time for the kids and the husband can’t step in because he’s a man.

I want to say the OP sounds quite young and probably still has bit to learn . But who reads this and think there’s no misogyny here?

Herdamorlar:
Happy weekend,I have noticed this since last year that any office I enter it is only female that I encountered also any interview i went to we men are always plenty than women and at last we all know what we end it. I think this is why we don't have happy home these days because we all know that breadwinner wife will not be able to manage home with unemployed husband also unemployed men don't also want to get married which lead to many single ladies roaming the street and those men working also don't want to marry second wife because instead of promoting the male employee,most employers prefer to promote female counterpart especially in sales and marketing company.
Also our children nowadays lack home training because most of our wives these days doesn't stay at home to train them instead they are at their different offices closing late in the night. To solve this I think Government should be involve to regulate the job women can do e.g teachers,traders,marketers,newscaster etc not because of anything but our children and homes. What do you think?

bukatyne:


Where is the misogyny in the OP's post?

How did he display hatred for women?

You can accuse the OP of being too 'traditional' or 'cultural'.

His premise of discussion is not new: I first encountered it on foreign forums.

Traditionally, a husband should win bread while a wife cares for the home.

If the husband has to compete with other women/wives for bread, how would he effectively win the bread and perform his financial duties?

Also keeping in mind that the wives getting the jobs are not using the resources to care for their families: so their husbands have to 'hustle' harder to maintain the 'financial' frame in the family.

If the wife who should care for the home is out winning bread (which would not be useful at a family level), who takes care of the some?

Some school of thought have further processed to say women shouldn't study some courses in college because it is a huge investment without returns at that end.

What everyone should bring to the table is the merits and demerits of the current/proposed system.

Brachaa:
This is not a matter of governments intervention because it is a problem that started from the home front when men began to shy away from their responsibilities as the bread winner; leaving the women with no option but to take up the mantle and hit the labour market to be able to take it up from where you men left off. Now you want things to go back to the "drawing board". Ever heard
the word "change"? Times have changed.

It is also no fault of the female folk that they are given preference more than their male counterparts but mother nature favouring her own.

Also, it is not written any where that it's only the womans' responsibility to bring up good and godly children. It is a collective effort. So don't try to shift the blame of failed parenting to the women alone. If the children turn out well, everyone shares in the praise and if they turn out badly, everyone shares in the blame.

OP, my two cents. pray earnestly to God for yourself and the menfolk generally that God should restore back the headship of your homes back to you financially, occupationally and other aspects you feel the men are losing it.

Shalom.

Women and men do not only work to survive/make money so women's motivation to work can't be solely the result of men's reluctance to provide, which I don't even think is a problem in the Nigerian context because my impression is that most men are eager to provide. Not having enough opportunities to do so is not the result of them being lazy or reluctant to provide but the result of poor leadership.

Women (and men) are strongly motivated by the need for competence which is the desire to reach high levels of competence in different fields. In Maslow's pyramid of needs there is the need called self-actualization, which means achieving one's full potential. Confining women to the kitchen, which OP calls for when he asks for government regulations, is the destruction of the various talents women have apart from home running skills. It is a war against human resources and causes many women to wither as the opportunities to develop oneself in the house are extremely limited relative to what a woman can create outside the home. My and many other women's need for self-actualization does not begin and end in the kitchen.

Biglittlelois:




1) The misogyny is stated where it says govt. should regulate the type of jobs women should get.

2) His prejudice reeks everywhere in his comments because he may be a job seeker who has been to so many interviews for him to notice the female friendly environment which is distasteful/ disgusts him enough to open a thread on it.

3) You see traditional and cultural, I see a misogynist, opinion differs, I'll accuse as I see fit, let Op quote me and convince otherwise, or are you the Op?

4) I'm happy for you.

5) No argument about that, why the need to state it?

6) A husband will not see the need to compete if it has been stated beforehand and agreed upon that it will be a 50/50 financial commitment from both parties, only an insecure man will see his wife as a fellow competitor with a goal post at the finish line.

7) Same way these husbands don't use their resources to care for the family, so the wives have to hustle harder to maintain the financial frame in the family, some of them would actually make people believe their husbands brings more financially, we cannot for a fact know what happens in these sets of families to conclude that women in Op's category are bad.

8.) @emboldened, I'll assume some means home right? There are men in Nigeria who take care of the home while the wife does finances, it is happening and will continue to happen, though codedly cos the society forbids such, the earlier we allow people to be and do what works for them without judgement, the better it is for humanity.

9) Some school of thought is exactly what it is, "thoughts" not facts, everyone is allowed to air out their mind process and thinking, it is allowed.


10) What everyone should bring to the table is what works for them, not what is comfortable/favourable to him/her due to selfishness/disdain/envy of a particular gender as stated in the Op.

I agree with most of what you said but the bold part. It's not a matter of opinion. Let's call a spade a spade. If a person asks for the government to limit women's opportunities in the name of tradition then tradition has become misogyny. Misogyny defined as the dislike of women's freedom to choose how to live their lives and run their families and the contempt for women's various talents and contributions to society as a whole.

Next thing you will read is that women should have no right to education because they are supposed to learn how to clean and cook so that OP, who is possibly less qualified to do a particular job, will not have to put in the necessary work to succeed but be accorded with some privilege in the name of tradition.

If I decide to open a thread on which I will call for the government to put laws in place that will require families to enroll their kids into creches once they are one year old so that women go and work in order to let's say boost the economy, the 'traditional folks' will cry wolf and cite the human rights charter up and down. This is when they will remember that human rights are also the rights of women (and men) to choose how to run their lives and families.

Liposure:
Women have the connections. Men work their way up

Another misogynisitc comment which reeks of contempt for the work and effort women put into building their careers.

bukatyne:


Where is the misogyny in the OP's post?

How did he display hatred for women?

You can accuse the OP of being too 'traditional' or 'cultural'.

His premise of discussion is not new: I first encountered it on foreign forums.

Traditionally, a husband should win bread while a wife cares for the home.

If the husband has to compete with other women/wives for bread, how would he effectively win the bread and perform his financial duties?

Also keeping in mind that the wives getting the jobs are not using the resources to care for their families: so their husbands have to 'hustle' harder to maintain the 'financial' frame in the family.

If the wife who should care for the home is out winning bread (which would not be useful at a family level), who takes care of the some?

Some school of thought have further processed to say women shouldn't study some courses in college because it is a huge investment without returns at that end.

What everyone should bring to the table is the merits and demerits of the current/proposed system.

Says you. Can you back it up?

I think that’s a very optimistic impression you’ve gathered there. Probably from their NL rants about providing. “Eager to provide”

Where did all their derogatory terms for dependent women come from?

Hathor5:


Women and men do not only work to survive/make money so women's motivation to work can't be solely the result of men's reluctance to provide, which I don't even think is a problem in the Nigerian context because my impression is that most men are eager to provide. Not having enough opportunities to do so is not the result of them being lazy or reluctant to provide but the result of poor leadership.

Women (and men) are strongly motivated by the need for competence which is the desire to reach high levels of competence in different fields. In Maslow's pyramid of needs there is the need called self-actualization, which means achieving one's full potential. Confining women to the kitchen, which OP calls for when he asks for government regulations, is the destruction of the various talents women have apart from home running skills. It is a war against human resources and causes many women to wither as the opportunities to develop oneself in the house are extremely limited relative to what a woman can create outside the home. My and many other women's need for self-actualization does not begin and end in the kitchen.

Hathor5:


Women and men do not only work to survive/make money so women's motivation to work can't be solely the result of men's reluctance to provide, which I don't even think is a problem in the Nigerian context because my impression is that most men are eager to provide. Not having enough opportunities to do so is not the result of them being lazy or reluctant to provide but the result of poor leadership.

Women (and men) are strongly motivated by the need for competence which is the desire to reach high levels of competence in different fields. In Maslow's pyramid of needs there is the need called self-actualization, which means achieving one's full potential. Confining women to the kitchen, which OP calls for when he asks for government regulations, is the destruction of the various talents women have apart from home running skills. It is a war against human resources and causes many women to wither as the opportunities to develop oneself in the house are extremely limited relative to what a woman can create outside the home. My and many other women's need for self-actualization does not begin and end in the kitchen.

Well said. Though most of your pounts there do not apply to Nigerian women as what drives 95% of them to work is the need to survive as a rsult of what many are facing in the home front and not really because of self-actualization (though it may be so for some, which is just a fraction of the whole). Otherwise how come we don't see the likes of Chioma actively engaged in any kind of biz or working to earn many? Not to mention but a few.

Like you rightly said, there's need and very importantly too for every woman to develop herself and maximize her potentials while still young and active (married or not). Hence the need for the Op and the likes of him to change their mentality and embrace this notion.

Brachaa:

Well said. Though most of your pounts there do not apply to Nigerian women as what drives 95% of them to work is the need to survive as a rsult of what many are facing in the home front and not really because of self-actualization (though it may be so for some, which is just a fraction of the whole). Otherwise how come we don't see the likes of Chioma actively engaged in any kind of biz or working to earn many? Not to mention but a few.

Like you rightly said, there's need and very importantly too for every woman to develop herself and maximize her potentials while still young and active (married or not). Hence the need for the Op and the likes of him to change their mentality and embrace this notion.

The primary purpose of work is to put food on the table aka survive. This is universally true for all humans, not only Nigerians. But once our primary needs are fulfilled, we strive to fulfill other/higher needs. That's why Maslow arranged human needs on a pyramid. Some people are satisfied with the satisfaction of their primary needs, they have no other ambitions than that. That's why we have the Chiomas of this world and the Chimamandas. Not every woman can find a job that fulfills her on a deeper level, not every woman is able to or has the possibilities to explore her talents.

As long as people like the OP exist who make women solely responsible for the well-being of the family, financial needs aside, many women will limit themselves to the role of the helper and never discover their full potential.