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My Stepmother Poured Hot Water On My Baby! I'm So Angry / 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired / "My Wife’s Beauty Makes Me Sleepless, I Want A Divorce" - Zimbabwea Man To Judge (2) (3) (4)
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Re: . by Nobody: 12:18pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
missdivineprove:You dey mind that one. |
Re: . by NeoWanZaeed(m): 12:30pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
SegFault: and in my post.. didn't I say she should try to take the child along? Just dey talk like goat wey chop raw yam 1 Like |
Re: . by queenfav(f): 12:31pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Most of you are missing the point here...She has been supporting him financially, but the man in question isn't making any moves to better their situation.I think men get too comfortable when they know their wife is hardworking.They relax and let her become the man.Trust me it can be exhausting.Fact is this,any one can go down in life.The important thing is to try all you can not to stay down.That lack of effort is what makes a woman fed up. I worked as a Matrimonial causes Mediator and I have seen so many cases like op's.He is depressed,he is sad..Yes!But will his family eat sadness?I believe God gave men one job..Provide for your family!A woman is already saddled with the rigours of childbearing, house chores and taking care of the home front.What the op wants to see is a little effort and reassurance that her man is making moves to get their lives back on track. What woman will be happy taking her family to live with her aunty? Come on.. You all should stop saying a woman will announce it when she feeds a man for two days..Yes, it's not a woman's duty to provide.We only make money to support our men. A man who lost his job should know that he needs to find something to do to at least get his family a new apartment.If her aunty kicks them out,what next?They will go get a space under Ikeja bridge then. 9 Likes |
Re: . by Nobody: 12:32pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
NeoWanZaeed:I clearly said she should give him a chance, it seems like you can't read anyways good day to you sir. |
Re: . by NeoWanZaeed(m): 12:36pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
SegFault: advise your sister to stay with a man that is not ready to improve his situation but rely on your sister. a man without shame.. there's difference between jobless and poor and not doing anything to improve your situation.. don't quote me again 2 Likes |
Re: . by NeoWanZaeed(m): 12:37pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
queenfav: I feel like kissing and hugging you.. you get sense .. the fact that the guy has no shame and he's not ready to do anything.. that's the end. 3 Likes |
Re: . by Openbusiness: 12:45pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
SegFault:My ![]() 1 Like |
Re: . by pocohantas(f): 12:48pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190: If you say his fighting spirit is dead, it means he once had it. He is probably going through a phase, even job seekers have that phase. I don’t think it is clear eye. At least I have seen/read/heard of actual lazy men and their wives never mentioned a prior fighting spirit. Must be overwhelming for you, but a more subtle approach might work. As for putting his family first in major decisions, Naija men have been doing that since 1800BC. Same family will leave them for you the wife when they are broke or sick. Jisike nne, the Lord is your strength. ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: . by Liposure: 12:49pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Keep ya head up |
Re: . by Mariangeles(f): 12:52pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190: You both should consider starting a business together. It'll bring you closer. Why not come up with some business plans and discuss them together? Jobs are not the only option. |
Re: . by queenfav(f): 12:52pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
NeoWanZaeed:Yes, that's the point.I married an igbo man that has pride and he will rather do kpom kpom work than recieve financial help from his inlaws. A man should have shame and small pride.You can't be enlarging chest and saying "I am a man, respect me,submit to me",wheras in times of adversity you curl up and lie down wallowing in misery while your wife busts her a** to feed you."Nah! Every woman no matter how supportive is bound to get tired. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: . by NeoWanZaeed(m): 12:53pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
queenfav: Your husband is a man.. so many useless men out there 4 Likes |
Re: . by pocohantas(f): 12:55pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Majority are not wired to appreciate the sacrifices of their wives. However, they appreciate same when their mothers are the ones doing it. Expecting any different is what leads women to heartbreak. Do your best and leave the rest. What man will be providing money and doing house chores while a woman lazies about? Show me that man and I will wake you up from a bad dream. ![]() ![]() queenfav: 9 Likes |
Re: . by SAVAGEBETS: 12:56pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190: Instead of standing by him and talking his confidence back into him you wanna leave him down and dry. Wicked people. 1. The weather is more reliable than a woman. 2. The flip of a coin is more reliable than a woman. 3. You're more likely to predict when power will be restored than a woman's next move.. Terrible People... This year I have finally had it up to my neck with y'all.. |
Re: . by queenfav(f): 12:58pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
pocohantas:lol,real bad dream..And his co men are here calling the poor woman names.Women in Nigeria dey see something for marriage sha!On top suffer head. 5 Likes |
Re: . by queenfav(f): 1:03pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
As for me @op.I think you should sit him down and tell him how you feel.Let him know you will walk if he doesn't make any moves to get something doing no matter how small.That may be the wake-up call or push he needs. No matter what happens,I don't subscribe to you leaving your child.Haba! Leaving your child for who?Are you sure you carried that child for 9 months or someone dashed you the child?You are a mother,anywhere you go..Take your child with you! It's not even up for debate. 3 Likes |
Re: . by Openbusiness: 1:05pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
queenfav:Oga you're just talking off point. Talking like you're reading a story book from Disney. You better wake up, this is the real life, with real events and situations not a cartoon. Shit happens, and shit has happened to him. The guy's once thriving businesses collapsed, probably lost millions of naira, have you lost millions of naira before? Have you ever had your busineses that you put all your money into collapse? And your account is in red and you had to start all over again from scratch, from zero? From the way you're talking I don't think so. I have lost millions before, so I am speaking from a personal experience. Do you know what it can do to a man's psyche, do you know how that situation can mess up a man's mind and push him into depression. Do you know the kind of things running through that guy's brain right now, you think it's easy to be someone that was spending millions and then suddenly you can't even feed yourself talkless of another person? The guy is still in his emotional shock state, where everything happening still looks like a dream. This is not the time you expect him to be at his best, the kind of mental battles going on in his head right now is not a joke. He needs support and kindness at the moment. He needs someone to tell him, don't worry we will get through this, don't think too much, don't despair, he needs encouragement, someone to remind him that he is still the champion that made all those millions by himself from nothing and having to start all over again is not the end of the world, he has made it before, he can make it again. The guy needs all the POSITIVITY and POSITIVE energy he can get right now. How much recharge cards has she bought for him that she brought his matter to CNN? Can she tell us how much she has benefited from the same guy so we can know whether the recharge cards she bought outweighs his contribution in her life? This is nothing but betrayal. A man just lost everything due to circumstances, maybe due his personal errors in business decisions or investment, he will be full of self regret, he will be depressed and psychologically drained, he will feel like he has no reason to fight again, all the fight energy and spirit will fade because of self doubt. He needs to be hearing positive voices, not nagging and condemnation. This is a critical point in his life. People are not equal. Some people are not used to being alone and loneliness and being able to talk to themselves and encourage themselves, they need someone to encourage them. Some people shake it off faster than others, but everyone has their own demons, it's not the same formula for everyone. Yet just because she has supported him with little things within a month or so, she wants to abandon him and run. Ok na, go, abandon him and go and find a billionaire like Ned Nwoko to marry. No problem, but no need to demonize the guy and assassinate his character and batter the little confidence and self-love he has left. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: . by pocohantas(f): 1:16pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
queenfav: They would be more sympathetic if it were their mothers and would look forward to Mother’s Day to appreciate her. You can never get a fair advice from most men by being a woman. Know this and know peace... ![]() 8 Likes |
Re: . by queenfav(f): 1:24pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
pocohantas:You have said it all! Nothing you for a mqn is never enough,so it's key knowing when you have reached your limit. 1 Like |
Re: . by flyingpig: 1:26pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Openbusiness:No mind OP, pocohantas, queenfav and chinnybaby190 I wish they could read that elaborate post you penned down. They, they see a lazy man who doesn't work. But i see a broken, shocked, depressed, shattered, man who is still grieving over how he went from hero to zero, millionaire to zero, something to nothing. That shock can leave a man traumatized for so long but when he picks himself up he goes hard. These whores here are talking of divorce. Bitches only know the good times. Screw them they only deserve to become baby mamas. 4 Likes |
Re: . by Openbusiness: 1:28pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
missdivineprove:Generalizing as how, I didn't say all women, I said most Women, and is that not true? Man has been providing for years, can't count the number of wives that lost their jobs or lost their businesses and their husbands gladly carry them on their back with pain, with tears, with discomfort etc till they get back on their feet and nobody knows or hears fem from his mouth. Ordinary 1 or 2 months, wey be say no be like the guy dey chop intercontinental dish oh, no b like say na 4 Points or Oriental u dey pay for everyday make he dey go chop, na management levels oh, anything wey he see he take, how much recharge card she don buy, she has brought his matter to CNN and still demonize his personality and character join. No b una fault na. Cat wey him leg break na him dey make Rat turn king for inside house. If the guy's investments had turned out great and the guy had raked in more millions, the same girl will have been eating his money and forming love. Fake love! 2 Likes |
Re: . by 444crop: 1:34pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Awwwwww God bless this brain joor....but more to it is, since you have a kid, you wouldn't want a kid to grow with a single parent.... Push him, you can borrow and push him to start something just so he brings something back....once he is back on the streets, opportunity will pop up k.... Love n support yourselves daddytime: |
Re: . by eyinjuege: 1:37pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Chinnybaby190: It's a phase. Just do what you can do. No normal man would enjoy watching his wife slave for him, and the appearance of non chalance may just be a coping mechanism for him. Don't be surprised deep in his heart he wants to commit suicide. You both need to have a heart to heart talk on the possible way forward for him to get back on his feet. Is there a friend that can help him with anything? Any family member from your side that can help him with a job or loan to start something? Just be prayerful and encourage him to get up and fight for his life. I suspect he is battling some demons of his own, while you're also battling yours. Poverty na bastard 1 Like |
Re: . by mysticwarrior(m): 1:39pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Tough times don't last but tough people do. If you look at a child who is learning how to walk, he falls and rise up again and again and again until he would become stronger, that is life for you fall and you rise again, you husband may be down for now but as long as he is still alive and healthy, he is not a finished man, and I must commend you for stepping in to take charge of the responsibility of your house, believe me there will be a change, if you leave that man at this stage you may end up regretting it later in the future, talk to him politely for a way forward and make see him reasons, everything is going to be alright once again. |
Re: . by daddytime(m): 1:43pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
444crop: This is wisdom speaking. |
Re: . by Nobody: 1:49pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Openbusiness:As always foolishness. Claim to be the head of the house but start complaining when you can't even provide common food. Stupidity and Nigerians are never far off. |
Re: . by Nobody: 1:50pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
444crop:Borrow kwa, op don't try it on. It will never end well. 1 Like |
Re: . by Openbusiness: 1:56pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
flyingpig:Don't mind the girl. Imagine calling your husband lazy, a man that has worked by himself and earned or raised over a million by himself in this Nigeria, how can you call him lazy? Can a lazy man earn millions in this country legitimately? Just because now his business collapsed, and so what? How is he lazy? He is obviously depressed, not lazy. Until he shakes that depression and regret from his mind, he will just be acting indifferent, he will be down and not in fight mode. He is in a state of personal mourning silently in his mind now, full of had I knowns. So because he made a mistake and invested wrongly and things didn't work out, he is now a PNG? That's absurd, totally ridiculous. I can't count the number of times you will read about salary earners that lost job of ordinary 30k or 50k they will be wailing and crying and depressed like the end of the world has come. Yet a businessman lost millions, lost all his business and investments, and you think he will be a Superman and just adjust immediately to the reality of his new condition? Well, some people do, but not everyone can. Some wounds take longer to heal for different people. I am a businessman. Before I entered into the business world, I have done 9 to 5's, (or actually to 11pm sometimes), worked for different people, different companies across lagos, paid my dues. Then I got tired of it. Started doing my own business, and never looked back. I have been in situations where I invested wrongly and lost money and had to start all over again from nothing. I have been in a situation where I had to find a 9 to 5 again to keep body and soul together then dump it and start business again. But then, I have crossed the threshold where at this point in my life, no matter what happens, I can't do 9 to 5's again. It's not in my head again and I don't have the spirit for it anymore. I have fallen many times in my journey of business and gotten back up again and again that now, I'm not even afraid about falling anymore and I'm not interested in 9 to 5's anymore, no matter what, I carry my cross in the business world and make things work. Some investments turn over quick, some take time, but I stay in there and endure the process. Because I have come to realize that to succeed in business CONSISTENCY is required. You have to give it your everything and complete focus. Not having an escape route of 9 to 5 hiding somewhere in your mind. You let go completely and see yourself as an employer of labor, not an employee. Maybe that's the place her husband's mind is right now and he doesn't see himself doing or falling back to 9 to 5's. It is with positivity and encouragement that you will use to talk him to do somethings that he might feel is already beneath him, things that might be conflicting to his ego, every man has ego one way or another. So the guy is going through a lot now, he needs encouragement not insults. Nobody is forcing her to stay, if she wants to go she should go, it's not a big deal. But why try to demonize the guy and make him look like an irresponsible fellow in the eyes of the public before you go? No need for drama. Go if you want to go, it's not the end of the world. One door closes, another one must surely open. 3 Likes |
Re: . by pocohantas(f): 2:00pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
How do you type something that long without paragraphing? Mehn! Anyone that can read that is the real MVP. I am not even trying to be sarcastic here. 6 Likes |
Re: . by Openbusiness: 2:05pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
pocohantas:Na bad social media habit. It usually escapes my mind when typing and I'm too unbothered or nonchalant to go back and modify when I notice. I'm a man of many mistakes and not paragraphing long posts on social media is 1 of it. Probably the 3rd or 4th person on Nairaland that said this. Some habits die hard. I'm a work in progress. |
Re: . by Openbusiness: 2:11pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
SegFault:When you start paying bills, real bills in your life, on a consistent basis, maybe we can have finally have a real man to 1 Like |
Re: . by djon78(m): 2:25pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Openbusiness: This was exactly what the Anglican priest that preached during the burial of my uncle said. He warned men as they are striving for there wives and children to also consider there own interests That most times many men labour themselves to death I learnt so much lesson that day A man must have a contingency plan Have a stored up back up money somewhere I myself have experienced what this ops husband is going through After I lost some good millions from business investments with a Chinese company In fact my family were surprised because I have always been a hustler But why that loss pained was I felt if I had flexed that money, use am enjoy myself At least I for know at least I flexed it I was down for a couple of years But thanks to Oluwa not only bounced back but my business is growing in leaps and bounds even with the economy, God has still been very good But now I have better stocked away money No be me go come kill myself 2 Likes |
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