ekochris:
I am not very good in writing, don't mind my grammar.....but this was what actually happened to me today as I entered the first tertiary institution class for the first time

My First First Day in Class

On Monday 15th December, 2014, I walked briskly past ‘Gossip Centre’ and climbed the stairs to the second floor of the popular “New Building” of College of Business and Management Studies, Kaduna Polytechnic, the largest polytechnic in Africa.

I quickly scanned through the doorposts of the classes and my eye caught ND IA, took a deep breath, opened the door with care bordering on fear – and behold all I could see are multiples of eyes looking at me from all angles.

I quickly scanned through the class looking for a convenient seat, and thank God, behold an empty seat in the last row of the class. As I was walking towards the seat, I heard a resonating baritone voice yelling at me “kai….kaje ka kule kofar” (i.e. hey….go and close the door). Oh! I didn’t close the door properly. I turned round to see who was speaking, I saw one of these real rough, tough guy who looked like a serial bully. I simply complied with his order, I went and locked the door, and started going back to my seat with “all eyes on me”. Those seconds of walking to the seat were the longest 10 seconds of my life.

I went to the seat and sat down, trying to compose myself when one half dark or maybe half fair brunette walked up to me and said “are you from Rukayya…….”. “What?” I replied; and she continued “….shey you are Rukayya’s brother, she told me her brother is coming”. I sighed and told her I have no idea of what she was talking about.

As if that was not enough, the honorable assistant class captain came to me and the following conversation ensued:

She: Are you a new student?
Me: Yes. I was offered admission last week.
She: How are you going to cope? Hope you know exams is only a month away?
Me: By God’s grace.
She: I pity you sha, it’s not going to me easy
(…..what, did I just hear her say pity).

Me: Thanks.
She: Anyways my name is ABC but you can call me XYZ
(at this point I wasn’t listening to her)
Me: I’m Tony.

Everybody in the class were looking at me as if I was trying to convince them that G is for Jesus.
The girl in front of my seat just turned around and told me “We have 2 tests today……Business Maths and Technical English”. At this point, I was beginning to sweat in the cold morning. I’m just resuming today and they are talking about test.
Before I could say Jack Robinson, a young damsel in her mid twenties just walked in, and everybody was like “good morning Ma”. She replied “hope you are all ready for the test?”, I nearly shouted “No”, but my timid voice would be drowned by the overwhelming “Yes” echoing from the four corners of the class.

In my mind I said “so na this fine girl wan come spoil my day with maths test this morning”. Mathematics has not been one of my favorite subjects. The door opened, and a serious-faced guy with dreadlocks (original dada) walked straight in and sat on the same seat with me; he turned and said to me “if you no know wetin you go write, just copy my own”. Very generous of him, I wanted to thank him for his concern, when he added “you are lucky, other people at looking for the opportunity to seat with me”. What!!! Me…..lucky….for seating with him, I just locked up, and moreover I wasn’t planning on copying from anybody before.

So the test came and gone, I went out for break, came out to refresh myself, when I went back for the second lecture, I was accounting, one of my favourite, at least I don’t have to worry much. After the lecturers, it was announced that English won’t be coming for his test today, so I heaved a sigh of relief and left the class.

And so fellas, that was how my first day in tertiary institution class went. For all those who looked down on me in the class, they have not seen the real me; I am coming to take down their balcony.

Samostical:
My first day was my breakthrough day because it actually set the pace for me. A Professor of Guidance and Counseling walked in and asked me "What are the three areas of human learning?". I told her I don't know. She then said to me "a mere looking at you, I thought you were bright, is this simple thing you don't know". it was as if the ground should open let me enter. the class became very tense up because students were anticipating what next could possibly happen. But from that day I vowed to graduate with the best results in that department. All thanks to God I became the most popular, most soughted, most consultated student by students. I wrote assignments for students, I tutored some and went as far as becoming the President of that department, Sole Administrator, and till day Professors in that department still love and honour me. I end up winning on everyside and graduated with strongest 2.1.

Abcruz:
On my first day we had GST101 at about 8AM. I woke up around 4AM, prepared and got to school 6AM.

I initially thought I would be the first to get there but I was surprised by the numbers of students that were already seated. After taking my seat a certain man from the street whom everyone of us taught was a lecturer, came to sell his books titled "English and Englishes."

After successfully convincing us that one could be sent out of the university for not passing English, everybody in the hall bought the book with fear.
I bought the book with the last card I had on my wallet thinking it was my textbook for the semester. Little did I know that the man is well known for scamming freshers. He smiled cheerfully, counted and made away with thousands of naira under the watchful eyes of everyone in the hall.

The useless book was less than 15 pages containing trash upon trash. I had to throw it in the nearest trash can.

Saig:


God help you

apatheticme:


This is actually very funny!

I'm still laughing out loud right now!

Jubilancy:




I dont want to curse the man!

I bought it too!
At Nlt

Dam145:





Were you a futmite?

Iyoocartel:
Iyooooooo cartel

Right from day zero for esut we no dey attend class but we still come out with 2.1
Only bank affair ga eme mu njide pen
School no be scam shaa but amalom way school
School adia enyem ego Muwa ji e look good
Muwa n'enye school ego ndi teacher Ana look good
18 years in school momma told me read your book
I told her i want to hustle I want to take you to the moon
Osim anyhow e be Nwa i dey pray for you

After we don go sewa for back gate then we enter school park sit down there chop then disembark to our lodge.
Elem igbo na esut
Good old days now two hilux dey follow mahn all over golf estate

If i was stupid to be attending lectures I won't have time to bomb

Men na atu olu 6 to 6 Till we cash out in billi till we cash out in zero 6
Till mnwe like 500kpa n'ime my amiri jean
I can never ever quit until i r i p
Iyoocartel Nwa C I C
Notorious ka B I G
Mgbe mno secondary ana alu egbe n'ime gtc

TheBaseet:
Getting to lecture all and all seat filled with bags...I was shocked
This was around 6:30am...The class was slated for 8:00am

hrykanu231:




This is almost like my case. Never liked any form of calculation. But the first class i attended was Business Maths, I almost bought another Jamb form. But my friend Ernest encouraged me and together we pulled through successfully.

post=94630924:


Get In touch with me

Rgade:
Maths 111. Tuesday morning.
I came late for the class, cause I walked a very long distance from my Lodge to the school through one of the main gates, hadn't discovered any of the short routes then.
The man was teaching PMI.. Principles of Mathematical Induction. Then sets.
I was just at the back hissing and sighing, telling myself "chaly,see as your failure just start."

germanybyfireoo:
First day after corona. Not first semester tho

illicit:
My first lecture was GNS 111

I won 1000#


The lecturer ( Mr Otekwu) challenged us to spell 'Patois' (pronounced Patwa) he was going to give the speller 500#
but the whole class went dumb.

I think most of us (fresher's) were shy

But I did spell it and another word....

Abcruz:
On my first day we had GST101 at about 8AM. I woke up around 4AM, prepared and got to school 6AM.

I initially thought I would be the first to get there but I was surprised by the numbers of students that were already seated. After taking my seat a certain man from the street whom everyone of us thought was a lecturer, came to sell his books titled "English and Englishes."

After successfully convincing us that one could be sent out of the university for not passing English, everybody in the hall bought the book with fear.
I bought the book with the last card I had on my wallet thinking it was my textbook for the semester. Little did I know that the man is well known for scamming freshers. He smiled cheerfully, counted and made away with thousands of naira under the watchful eyes of everyone in the hall.

The useless book was less than 15 pages containing trash upon trash. I had to throw it in the nearest trash can.

OYENIYIJK:

Hi, do you care to tell me the second one?

illicit:


Quay (pronounced key)