Early this morning, we heard shouts from a particular house in our estate. They were quarrelling and screaming on top of their voices, drawing the attention of the security and other neighbors (peacemakers and amebos)


THE FULL GIST

The owner of the house died few months ago. (Early 40's) The argument was between the brothers of the late man and his baby mama.

She had the baby when she was 16 and the man denied her. According to her, she suffered shame and humiliation among her peers and couldn't continue with her education until much later.

He later got married to someone else but they couldn't have any children for over 10 years despite both being medically okay.

The man (unknown to his wife) decided to go and claim back his child (last year) and ask for forgiveness.. he was eventually forgiven.
Unfortunately the man died this year and the lawyer contacted the man's family.

To their surprise, the man willed 80% of his property to his son, including his business and the house he currently lives in.

The wife got angry and left (she was willed another house) (she is a peaceful woman)


THE PROBLEM

The son (24) went and brought back his mother to the house. This did not go down well with the family. But he said that he will never let his mother suffer again because of everything she went through for him..

He travelled recently for his master's abroad and put his mother in charge of the business. This further enraged the man's family.

The argument is that she doesn't send money back home to the benefactors of the late man, including his aged parents. (He is the first son). All attempts to reach the son abroad had failed.

She insists that she doesn't owe them anything and called the security on them.
They had no choice but to leave the premises.

Some people supported her...
Some criticized her...

For me, I think people should take responsibility for their actions and what they do to others.


Cc: Lalasticlala lefulefu zzor xoly virginprincess ubunja fati2001

What’s the name of the movie?

I'm more interested in how the child happened.



If he died in his early 40s and the child is 24 now, does it mean the lady got pregnant when he was 16? ...and she was 16 too?


He left his sweet sixteen and married another?


The theme of your story might be more realistic if the man was in his 60s. He's too young to be painted experienced and aged.


More so, another thought indicates that such are prone to happen. It still remains quite dramatic to me.



You are welcome.

Davash222:
What’s the name of the movie?

It's not a movie. It happened live in my estate today.
At first I thought it was #endsars protesters.

yes, karma is a bitch(what goes around comes around) ..... but she should at least forgive. for the sake of her baby daddy aged parents.

PinkPill:


It's not a movie. It happened live in my estate today.
At first I thought it was #endsars protesters.

It's a movie in Jesus name, Amen.

chatinent:
I'm more interested in how the child happened.



If he died in his early 40s and the child is 24 now, does it mean the lady got pregnant when he was 16? ...and she was 16 too?


He left his sweet sixteen and married another?


The theme of your story might be more realistic if the man was in his 60s. He's too young to be painted experienced and aged.


More so, another thought indicates that such are prone to happen. It still remains quite dramatic to me.



You are welcome.

I never said he was aged. He was around 43 years old. He slipped and fell in the bathroom.

I think he married the other lady because of close family ties

I don't know if he denied her alone or it was his entire family that denied her..

Bottom line = SHE WAS DENIED

PinkPill:

I never said he was aged. He was around 43 years old.
I think he married the other lady because of close family ties

;-)

Hmmmmmm

The wife who is really the wronged party has moved on.

Others should follow the man's will and do same.

Apparently, a child was the man's utmost reason for marrying that's why he valued his child he met last year over a marriage of 10 years. It is possible he would have left the child if he had kids in his marriage.

@Baby mama: sofry sofry.

P. S.: Is the man a Yoruba man?

bukatyne:
Hmmmmmm

The wife who is really the wronged party has moved on.

Others should follow the man's will and do same.

Apparently, a child was the man's utmost reason for marrying that's why he valued his child he met last year over a marriage of 10 years. It is possible he would have left the child if he had kids in his marriage.

@Baby mama: sofry sofry.

P. S.: Is the man a Yoruba man?

bukatyne:
Hmmmmmm

The wife who is really the wronged party has moved on.

Others should follow the man's will and do same.

Apparently, a child was the man's utmost reason for marrying that's why he valued his child he met last year over a marriage of 10 years. It is possible he would have left the child if he had kids in his marriage.

@Baby mama: sofry sofry.

P. S.: Is the man a Yoruba man?

So the wife is the only wronged party?Abandoning your child as a pregnancy till he grew to be a 24year old man is not wrong bah?

And don't even try to bring any tribal slurs into this.

The issue is a very complicated one. but the woman would have tried to take care of the man's parent no matter what, if that man happen to be alive he wouldn't sit back and watch his parent suffer, i know she passed through alot but she would have still taken care of them, afterall it their late son's money, am very sure if they are able to reach the son he wouldn't support her.

PinkPill:
Early this morning, we heard shouts from a particular house in our estate. They were quarrelling and screaming on top of their voices, drawing the attention of the security and other neighbors (peacemakers and amebos)


THE FULL GIST

The owner of the house died few months ago. (Early 40's) The argument was between the brothers of the late man and his baby mama.

She had the baby when she was 16 and the man denied her. According to her, she suffered shame and humiliation among her peers and couldn't continue with her education until much later.

He later got married to someone else but they couldn't have any children for over 10 years despite both being medically okay.

The man (unknown to his wife) decided to go and claim back his child (last year) and ask for forgiveness.. he was eventually forgiven.
Unfortunately the man died this year and the lawyer contacted the man's family.

To their surprise, the man willed 80% of his property to his son, including his business and the house he currently lives in.

The wife got angry and left (she was willed another house) (she is a peaceful woman)


THE PROBLEM

The son (24) went and brought back his mother to the house. This did not go down well with the family. But he said that he will never let his mother suffer again because of everything she went through for him..

He travelled recently for his master's abroad and put his mother in charge of the business. This further enraged the man's family.

The argument is that she doesn't send money back home to the benefactors of the late man, including his aged parents. (He is the first son). All attempts to reach the son abroad had failed.

She insists that she doesn't owe them anything and called the security on them.
They had no choice but to leave the premises.

Some people supported her...
Some criticized her...

For me, I think people should take responsibility for their actions and what they do to others.


Cc: Lalasticlala lefulefu zzor xoly virginprincess ubunja fati2001

hmmm this one strongoooo but Atleast now,since she forgive the man she shouldn't have treated the family that way anymore and the man make it up to her by making his son inherit his property,by that they should be peace with the family but now she is no different from what the man did to her she paid him back,where is the forgiveness,it means she didn't forgive the man and that is very bad.

Logically, it's within her right to either deny or give her baby papa's parents succor. Humanely, however, she must give them succor because that's the conscientious thing to do. Summarily, her ethical leanings will determine her action - and her son did the right thing by not abandoning her.

The only person I pity is the wife, the man never loved her enough despite the fact that they had no child, how cruel to know he willed 80% to his love child,

Did she do thorough investigation before marrying the man to know if he has a love child before marrying him?

If she did then love must be blind and foolish for her, all wasted years gone with the wind, who knows, she may have struggled with him to build up the business and riches they had,

#sad, I hope she finds love and birth kids in not so distant time.

MhisTahrah:
So the wife is the only wronged party?Abandoning your child as a pregnancy till he grew to be a 24year old man is not wrong bah?

And don't even try to bring any tribal slurs into this.

I am Yoruba so no tribal slurs. I can state the fact

And somehow, giving a son he met a year ago 80% of his wealth (and by extension his baby mama) is OK with you? Or did I say he should not give his son anything?

The wife might have even given him seed money to start building his wealth sef.

PinkPill:

Open your mouth na.

My guess is right.

Which is why is it funny when Igbos compare inheritance system with Yorubas or cite Yoruba men willing properties and lands to daughters as an example.

Yoruba does not have a 'oriaku' system of marriage. A child (irrespective of the source) is valued more than a wife. So that a prostitute with a child (proven to be the husband's and accepted) has more 'standing' in the family than a legally married wife without a child.

Notice how the man's family doesn't contest the son's right to inherit or bring him mother in: they would be content if she extends her benevolence to them.

The wife's regime has passed.

bukatyne:


I am Yoruba so no tribal slurs. I can state the fact

And somehow, giving a son he met a year ago 80% of his wealth (and by extension his baby mama) is OK with you? Or did I say he should not give his son anything?

The wife might have even given him seed money to start building his wealth sef.

Neither did I say he should have given the son he abandoned almost all his wealth.

Neither have I seen you condemn his action(abandoning his kid).

MhisTahrah:
Neither did I say he should have given the son he abandoned almost all his wealth.

Neither have I seen you condemn his action(abandoning his kid).

Condemn a dead man that he abandoned his child when he was a teen?

Is that the premise of this OP?

what does this have to do with Alpha Males?

PinkPill:
Early this morning, we heard shouts from a particular house in our estate. They were quarrelling and screaming on top of their voices, drawing the attention of the security and other neighbors (peacemakers and amebos)


THE FULL GIST

The owner of the house died few months ago. (Early 40's) The argument was between the brothers of the late man and his baby mama.

She had the baby when she was 16 and the man denied her. According to her, she suffered shame and humiliation among her peers and couldn't continue with her education until much later.

He later got married to someone else but they couldn't have any children for over 10 years despite both being medically okay.

The man (unknown to his wife) decided to go and claim back his child (last year) and ask for forgiveness.. he was eventually forgiven.
Unfortunately the man died this year and the lawyer contacted the man's family.

To their surprise, the man willed 80% of his property to his son, including his business and the house he currently lives in.

The wife got angry and left (she was willed another house) (she is a peaceful woman)


THE PROBLEM

The son (24) went and brought back his mother to the house. This did not go down well with the family. But he said that he will never let his mother suffer again because of everything she went through for him..

He travelled recently for his master's abroad and put his mother in charge of the business. This further enraged the man's family.

The argument is that she doesn't send money back home to the benefactors of the late man, including his aged parents. (He is the first son). All attempts to reach the son abroad had failed.

She insists that she doesn't owe them anything and called the security on them.
They had no choice but to leave the premises.

Some people supported her...
Some criticized her...

For me, I think people should take responsibility for their actions and what they do to others.


Cc: Lalasticlala lefulefu zzor xoly virginprincess ubunja fati2001

I don't support her actions,she should embrace peace and continue to do exactly what the late man was doing for his family,afterall the man never married her and it was her
fault for being a baby mama,by right sef she's not supposed to be in that house

bukatyne:


Condemn a dead man that he abandoned his child when he was a teen?

Is that the premise of this OP?

The op's last sentence shows that she doesn't support how he abandoned his kid.So because he's now dead, I can't criticize his action but you definitely didn't take that into consideration when you just about said he wronged his wife.He was wrong for abandoning his kid for 24good years.

bukatyne:


Open your mouth na.

My guess is right.

Which is why is it funny when Igbos compare inheritance system with Yorubas or cite Yoruba men willing properties and lands to daughters as an example.

Yoruba does not have a 'oriaku' system of marriage. A child (irrespective of the source) is valued more than a wife. So that a prostitute with a child (proven to be the husband's and accepted) has more 'standing' in the family than a legally married wife without a child.

Notice how the man's family doesn't contest the son's right to inherit or bring him mother in: they would be content if she extends her benevolence to them.

The wife's regime has passed.

Your assertion that Igbos do value a child more than a wife isn't true. Assuming that the dead man in this story is an Igbo man, his action - whether good or bad - doesn't represent what the entirety of other Igbo men can do, because there isn't a centralized Igbo culture in this instance.

Another Igbo man in his stead might have willed all/lesser/bigger percentage of the wealth to the wife, regardless of the fact that she didn't bear a child, depending on his ethical leanings and what the wife means to him.

Another scenario could be that they're running individual financial races, so in this instance, the wife has all of her properties to her name and the same as him. Therefore, it would've been both illogical and inhumane if he had willed a major part of his estate to the wife, who's likely going to remarry, than to his son who'll sustain the family tree.

Most of these things aren't one size fits all; instead, they're usually done based on their individual merits. Where culture is just, it has never been about how the dead did their things; rather, it's always been about how the living chooses to do their things.

:What’s the name of the movie?It's not a movie. It happened live in my estate today. At first I thought it was #endsars protesters.

Zzor:
I don't support her actions,she should embrace peace and continue to do exactly what the late man was doing for his family,afterall the man never married her and it was her
fault for being a baby mama, by right sef she's not supposed to be in that house

It's her son's right, and by extension, her right!
I commend the son for standing up for his mother and restoring back her honour.
Not being insensitive to plight of the widow though.

mariahAngel:


It's her son's right, and by extension, her right!
I commend the son for standing up for his mother and restoring back her honour.
Not being insensitive to plight of the widow though.

She was never married to the man,the woman has no place in that house and her illegitimate son went overboard.It seems the widow is a cool person else she wouldn't have dare

Xoly:
This is all the man's fault, but since he is dead now, the woman (his wife) have to move on... But eventually Karma will sort everything out, because what goes around, comes around

I believe karma has finally sorted everything out!
Apparently, it all started out some 24 years ago, and it finally came around, but unfortunately for the widow, she got caught in the web.

Zzor:
She was never married to the man,the woman has no place in that house and her illegitimate son went overboard.It seems the widow is a cool person else she wouldn't have dare

Is there a "legitimate child"? A child is a child.

If the clause for the widow to inherit the most part of the property would be to never remarry, would she accept that?

RightToReject:


Your assertion that Igbos do value a child more than a wife isn't true. Assuming that the dead man in this story is an Igbo man, his action - whether good or bad - doesn't represent what the entirety of other Igbo men can do, because there isn't a centralized Igbo culture in this instance.

Another Igbo man in his stead might have willed all/lesser/bigger percentage of the wealth to the wife, regardless of the fact that she didn't bear a child, depending on his ethical leanings and what the wife means to him.

Another scenario could be that they're running individual financial races, so in this instance, the wife has all her own properties in her name and same with him.
Therefore, it would've been both illogical and inhumane if he had willed a major part of his estate to the wife, who's likely going to remarry, than to his son who'll sustain the family tree.

Most of these things aren't one size fits all instead they're usually done based on their individual merits. Where culture is just, it's has never been about how the dead did their things; rather, it's always been about how the living chooses to do their things.

@bold:

I am talking about Yorubas.

Personally, I would prefer a fair system where everyone is taken into consideration.

To their surprise, the man willed 80% of his property to his son, including his business and the house he currently lives in.

The wife got angry and left (she was willed another house) (she is a peaceful woman)

And this is all that matters...


What is right and what is wrong following the above courses of action taken by the dead man and by the grieving wife he left behind, is a non-issue after the fact.

If this was a situation where the man had no will and there was this type of commotion, then we for help dem settle matter.

But as it is now, everything that is happening as stated in the story simply boils down to goodwill – it's no more a case of what should/must happen or what should/must be done.
If babymama and her son don't want to send money to the dead man's parents, it's well within their rights... a senseless decision it seems, but still within their rights to exercise.

Assuming the dead man had any sense in the first place, he would have made provisions for his aged parents in the will... And assuming his aged parents had any sense, they would have tried to at least have a good relationship with their grandson all through the years despite the fact their late son wasn't married to his mother.

There's really no big issue here...
What we have is just a family made up of very senseless people – from the dead man to the baby mama to the aged parents, all senseless. The security men, probably senseless too.

MhisTahrah:
The op's last sentence shows that she doesn't support how he abandoned his kid.So because he's now dead, I can't criticize his action but you definitely didn't take that into consideration when you just about said he wronged his wife.He was wrong for abandoning his kid for 24good years.

And have I stated anyway on this thread that I 'support' the man?

And yes, on face value, the wife is the wronged party as regards the sharing of properties.

We can now dig to find out if she has comparable wealth, if she built with the husband, etc etc however, we only have the OP's eavesdropping to go by. (just teasing).

Anyways, the man owns the property and can dispense as he deems fit.

We shouldn't be too worried when wives decide too compete with their husbands instead of joining hands for them to build an empire.

Who knows, the husband might have a child lurking somewhere he wills everything to in future.