I need suggestion from nature minds only. I have not seen my children for over 3 years. The problem started when my former wife left me. She went to another town to start over. I used to visit my children but she would chose a public place so I can't find her house. I remarried a wonderful woman who never complains and is very supportive and maybe that is why the former one is bitter. She would insult me before letting me see my children so I arrested her once. The second time, she resisted arrest and so I went to welfare office. The problem is that welfare expect me to be paying school fees and upkeepfor the children before I can see them. It may make sense to some people but how can I pay school fees of a school that I know nothing about? The one who put them in a school should face the consequences. If she did not feel that she can stand alone then why did she leave? Women are selfish and I can never be fooled into sowing where I won't reap. I am sure another man is sleeping with her by now. I told the welfare that I want a DNA test before I can pay anything and they wanted to force me to be the one to pay for the test. I did not bother to go back because she might have bribed them. If I pay school fees and feeding then what would be left for her to be doing and I can only see the children once in a while. The problem now is that, both police and welfare have not worked and she has left her former house. She does not pick my calls. I even sent 50k to her account to see if she would pick but she did not. She told my aunt that I have to pay all outstanding money from all these years. Imagine how cunning women are. If she let me see the kids, I would start to pay but how can I go about it? I am so worried that the children would grow up to hate me due to her lies of that don't know me. People would also think I abandoned them if they don't see their pictures on my social media. She is so wicked that she doesn't even upload their pictures again because she doesn't want me to see them at all. It is my right to see my children and I need suggestion on how to achieve my aim.

dprincedej:
I need suggestion from nature minds only. I have not seen my children for over 3 years. The problem started when my former wife left me. She went to another town to start over. I used to visit my children but she would chose a public place so I can't find her house. I remarried a wonderful woman who never complains and is very supportive and maybe that is why the former one is bitter. She would insult me before letting me see my children so I arrested her once. The second time, she resisted arrest and so I went to welfare office. The problem is that welfare expect me to be paying school fees and upkeepfor the children before I can see them. It may make sense to some people but how can I pay school fees of a school that I know nothing about? The one who put them in a school should face the consequences. If she did not feel that she can stand alone then why did she leave? Women are selfish and I can never be fooled into sowing where I won't reap. I am sure another man is sleeping with her by now. I told the welfare that I want a DNA test before I can pay anything and they wanted to force me to be the one to pay for the test. I did not bother to go back because she might have bribed them. If I pay school fees and feeding then what would be left for her to be doing and I can only see the children once in a while. The problem now is that, both police and welfare have not worked and she has left her former house. She does not pick my calls. I even sent 50k to her account to see if she would pick but she did not. She told my aunt that I have to pay all outstanding money from all these years. Imagine how cunning women are. If she let me see the kids, I would start to pay but how can I go about it? I am so worried that the children would grow up to hate me due to her lies of that don't know me. People would also think I abandoned them if they don't see their pictures on my social media. She is so wicked that she doesn't even upload their pictures again because she doesn't want me to see them at all. It is my right to see my children and I need suggestion on how to achieve my aim.

hmmm this is terrible but you both should obey the law. If there was a proper divorce then you both should do what law demands

"Women" are selfish, yet you married a loving and supportive second wife.

You need to do the needful as a man, first about the DNA who do you expect to pay for it,?

@Poster, you are just rambling. The law has already told you what to do but you thought it wise to focus on who is gbenshing your former wife than the plight of your children. Since women are wicked, marry your new wicked wife in peace.

You wanted the DNA, isn't it? Then you should pay for it.

What I see here is you wanting to shy away from responsibilities and at the same time want to share in the glory of the childrens upbringing which may be impossible.

If you want to be involved in the childrens life, you have to make certain sacrifices.

Firstly, pay for the DNA test to be sure they are yours. Then litigate the matter and file for a proper divorce so that the court can help you both reach a common ground on child care, how and when to meet them. Otherwise, that woman will take you for a ride and extort you for nothing.

Just be the man and take up your responsibility.

You said women are cunning but u just praised ur new wife? U ain't supporting the kids financially and u think u can b part of dem physically?
U are still a jealous man for saying u won't give her money for d children fees bcuz u are sure another man is sleeping with her, haven't u moved on totally with ur new wife? U wrote plenty things and I don't know what u really need from us.
Is it dat u ain't sure if the kids are urs now? Or u don't think u are supposed to contribute to the DNA test? Is the kids attending expensive schools u can't afford? Gaskia I'm confused o.


U ain't sure if kids are urs but u dey complain say she no dere share their pictures with u.

You are gbenshing ur new wife yet expect ur old wife not to gbensh? E shock you abi? Shes certainly getting better sexual satisfaction now sef than what she was managing with you.

The law has told you: whether she speaks with you or not, ur children need food/shelter/clothes/education and you should contribute atleast half towards those expenses.

You should do that for a minimum of 3months sending upkeep and tuition and if she doesnt reneged, then revisit the social welfare again.

Your ex wife doesnt have to tell you her address or anything about her personal life: she doesnt owe you that and your conversations should focus solely on the children.

If you dont do the above...........goodluck to you and your new family

If i had seen ur post below, i d have saved myself of this mockery


Am I Not Justified? by dprincedej: 12:08pm On Mar 24, 2017

I am a typical Yoruba man. I loved my wife. No marriage is perfect. I hav beaten her several times and sent her out of the house, I hav two kids. I hav cheated on her inside and outside my matrimonial home. I hav been rude to her parents. I hav avoided paying my kids sch fees at times. I hav abstained from sex with her for several months in a roll. I hav borrowed money from her family members without paying back. I hav denied her as my wife. I hav embarrasses her in public and turned my people against her. But guess what. She is not perfect either. She can not take risk for me. She hates all my ideas. She doesn't trust me. She is unfriendly. She is lazy. She is a bad cook. She loves her family to a fault while hating mine. We got into a fight and I sent her packing out of anger She was arrogant enough to leave with all her belongings even the dust pan. I hav admitted my wrong doing and begged for forgiveness from everyone she knows. She said she would only trust me if I send her upkeep but I no longer had a job. I begged for years but she didn't give me a chance. It has been six years now and I have made it. I hav remarried now to a caring woman who helped me to prosper and stood by me. Have I done any wrong? I begged for years. I admitted my mistakes and promised. If my first wife loved me the way I loved her, would she not hav come back? Should a Yoruba woman ever desert her husband and father of her kids for that long? Did she expect me to stay single forever? She is talking bad about me because she didn't expect I would make it. God has put her to shame. Please comment only if you are above 40yrs. I don't need comment from small idiots who are not married.

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dprincedej:
I need suggestion from nature minds only. I have not seen my children for over 3 years. The problem started when my former wife left me. She went to another town to start over. I used to visit my children but she would chose a public place so I can't find her house. I remarried a wonderful woman who never complains and is very supportive and maybe that is why the former one is bitter. She would insult me before letting me see my children so I arrested her once. The second time, she resisted arrest and so I went to welfare office. The problem is that welfare expect me to be paying school fees and upkeepfor the children before I can see them. It may make sense to some people but how can I pay school fees of a school that I know nothing about? The one who put them in a school should face the consequences. If she did not feel that she can stand alone then why did she leave? Women are selfish and I can never be fooled into sowing where I won't reap. I am sure another man is sleeping with her by now. I told the welfare that I want a DNA test before I can pay anything and they wanted to force me to be the one to pay for the test. I did not bother to go back because she might have bribed them. If I pay school fees and feeding then what would be left for her to be doing and I can only see the children once in a while. The problem now is that, both police and welfare have not worked and she has left her former house. She does not pick my calls. I even sent 50k to her account to see if she would pick but she did not. She told my aunt that I have to pay all outstanding money from all these years. Imagine how cunning women are. If she let me see the kids, I would start to pay but how can I go about it? I am so worried that the children would grow up to hate me due to her lies of that don't know me. People would also think I abandoned them if they don't see their pictures on my social media. She is so wicked that she doesn't even upload their pictures again because she doesn't want me to see them at all. It is my right to see my children and I need suggestion on how to achieve my aim.

You are sleeping with another woman now,why does it bother you who or if your wife is sleeping with another person?

You asked for the DNA test,who should pay for it...the government?

I'm not sure if you got a proper divorce.The court would have given you your roles to play and your financial obligations.I'm sure they would not deny you access to your children.

keep rambling. From your posts sef I already know you are a trouble maker. Your 2nd peaceful wife should just get ready, abi no be you again?

You are looking for your children yet you are not convinced they are yours.

you won't pay for DNa test even when you insist you want to do it. who are you expecting to pay it?

You already remarried and fu. king every night yet you don't want her too. E dey pain you say another man is ploughing your former farm?

Court says pay schools yet you won't.

with all the evil treatment you meted out on her and finally threew her out, you are only concerned with what your children will hear and ppls opinion.

Fact is, they already know who you are cos they saw everything you did to their mum.

Gerrara here my friend!

dprincedej:
If she did not feel that she can stand alone then why did she leave?

Did you expect her to stay with all your abuses? The crux of the matter is that you've children together, hence you're financially responsible for them, as she is. You cannot argue nor excuse your way out of your responsibilities towards your children.

dprincedej:
I am sure another man is sleeping with her by now.

You've remarried, so she too can sleep with whoever she wants now. You're digressing from the main issue with irrelevancies.

"Women" are selfish, yet you married a loving and supportive second wife.

Do whatever d law says, and you will see your children, you asked for a DNA test, who will pay for it?

All the comments above gives me absolute joy, they told Op the unbiased truth, that doesn't mean some fulls won't come here looking for faults from the former wife,

As for you Op, I nor wan insult you cos I nor want ban, but you are very irritating, from your previous thread to this one, you sound like "a full at 40", your use of "Yoruba man, Yoruba woman" yen yen yen in your previous thread is so immature ehn,

Anyway everybody don finish talk above, so I'll hold my peace.

You just dey vex me oga, what's the 'women are selfish' trash you wrote?

Op, you made a grave mistake seeking advice in the family section. Place is riddened with bitter women so they'll just twist your narrative to make you out the villain. You are better off seeking advice from younger men in the romance section, sounds odd but that's the truth. Never ask for relationship advice in a female dominated forum. You'll end up doubting your sanity

Find time and binge read the thread below and you'll probably find answers to lots of questions.

https://www.nairaland.com/6048178/reality-every-guy-need-know

dprincedej:
I need suggestion from nature minds only. I have not seen my children for over 3 years. The problem started when my former wife left me. She went to another town to start over. I used to visit my children but she would chose a public place so I can't find her house. I remarried a wonderful woman who never complains and is very supportive and maybe that is why the former one is bitter. She would insult me before letting me see my children so I arrested her once. The second time, she resisted arrest and so I went to welfare office. The problem is that welfare expect me to be paying school fees and upkeepfor the children before I can see them. It may make sense to some people but how can I pay school fees of a school that I know nothing about? The one who put them in a school should face the consequences. If she did not feel that she can stand alone then why did she leave? Women are selfish and I can never be fooled into sowing where I won't reap. I am sure another man is sleeping with her by now. I told the welfare that I want a DNA test before I can pay anything and they wanted to force me to be the one to pay for the test. I did not bother to go back because she might have bribed them. If I pay school fees and feeding then what would be left for her to be doing and I can only see the children once in a while. The problem now is that, both police and welfare have not worked and she has left her former house. She does not pick my calls. I even sent 50k to her account to see if she would pick but she did not. She told my aunt that I have to pay all outstanding money from all these years. Imagine how cunning women are. If she let me see the kids, I would start to pay but how can I go about it? I am so worried that the children would grow up to hate me due to her lies of that don't know me. People would also think I abandoned them if they don't see their pictures on my social media. She is so wicked that she doesn't even upload their pictures again because she doesn't want me to see them at all. It is my right to see my children and I need suggestion on how to achieve my aim.

Al that love she had for u is evidently dead, now she just wants to maybe extort you or whatever, but no look her side, do it for ur kids be a good man for them, just do what it takes to feed,cloth mostly..JAH be with u!

Go to a local government of your choice, report to welfare since you feel she bribed the first one, besides they need to find out how much you are making before telling you the type of school to pay for.

You must be ready to be paying for the kid's welfare.

You can go to court to ask for permission to be part of your kid's life.

I don't know why some women enjoy taking care of Children alone, she doesn't know she is loosing.

You have every right to your kids but since you are doubting their paternity, you will be the one to pay for DNA.

Finally, you sound bitter, you need to work on that, you are happy with your new wife and you still see women as bad, what a sad one

At first you typed that they are your children, who you are being denied of seeing but when welfare said you should provide for their education and feeding, you begin to doubt their paternity and at the end of your tale you acknowledged them as your children again! .

You are not sure the children are biologically yours and yet you don't want to pay for the DNA tests to ascertain paternity?

Who she is sleeping with now, is none of your business or are you not with another woman?

If no one has told you, let me tell you now....you need to undergo MSE (Mental Status Examination) because you are a clear reflection of cognitive dissonance.

May God deliver us from the hands of wicked and jealous husband and wife. Because of 50k you think you have right over her and the kids you have abandoned. May God give her the strength and build her to take good care of her kids

dprincedej:
I need suggestion from nature minds only. I have not seen my children for over 3 years. The problem started when my former wife left me. She went to another town to start over. I used to visit my children but she would chose a public place so I can't find her house. I remarried a wonderful woman who never complains and is very supportive and maybe that is why the former one is bitter. She would insult me before letting me see my children so I arrested her once. The second time, she resisted arrest and so I went to welfare office. The problem is that welfare expect me to be paying school fees and upkeepfor the children before I can see them. It may make sense to some people but how can I pay school fees of a school that I know nothing about? The one who put them in a school should face the consequences. If she did not feel that she can stand alone then why did she leave? Women are selfish and I can never be fooled into sowing where I won't reap. I am sure another man is sleeping with her by now. I told the welfare that I want a DNA test before I can pay anything and they wanted to force me to be the one to pay for the test. I did not bother to go back because she might have bribed them. If I pay school fees and feeding then what would be left for her to be doing and I can only see the children once in a while. The problem now is that, both police and welfare have not worked and she has left her former house. She does not pick my calls. I even sent 50k to her account to see if she would pick but she did not. She told my aunt that I have to pay all outstanding money from all these years. Imagine how cunning women are. If she let me see the kids, I would start to pay but how can I go about it? I am so worried that the children would grow up to hate me due to her lies of that don't know me. People would also think I abandoned them if they don't see their pictures on my social media. She is so wicked that she doesn't even upload their pictures again because she doesn't want me to see them at all. It is my right to see my children and I need suggestion on how to achieve my aim.

You are a foolish man sir.

dprincedej:
I need suggestion from nature minds only. I have not seen my children for over 3 years. The problem started when my former wife left me. She went to another town to start over. I used to visit my children but she would chose a public place so I can't find her house. I remarried a wonderful woman who never complains and is very supportive and maybe that is why the former one is bitter. She would insult me before letting me see my children so I arrested her once. The second time, she resisted arrest and so I went to welfare office. The problem is that welfare expect me to be paying school fees and upkeepfor the children before I can see them. It may make sense to some people but how can I pay school fees of a school that I know nothing about? The one who put them in a school should face the consequences. If she did not feel that she can stand alone then why did she leave? Women are selfish and I can never be fooled into sowing where I won't reap. I am sure another man is sleeping with her by now. I told the welfare that I want a DNA test before I can pay anything and they wanted to force me to be the one to pay for the test. I did not bother to go back because she might have bribed them. If I pay school fees and feeding then what would be left for her to be doing and I can only see the children once in a while. The problem now is that, both police and welfare have not worked and she has left her former house. She does not pick my calls. I even sent 50k to her account to see if she would pick but she did not. She told my aunt that I have to pay all outstanding money from all these years. Imagine how cunning women are. If she let me see the kids, I would start to pay but how can I go about it? I am so worried that the children would grow up to hate me due to her lies of that don't know me. People would also think I abandoned them if they don't see their pictures on my social media. She is so wicked that she doesn't even upload their pictures again because she doesn't want me to see them at all. It is my right to see my children and I need suggestion on how to achieve my aim.

You don't even want to cater for the children and yet you want to see them?

Mtcheeeeeeeeew!!

The person above me has said it all.

I need suggestions but nobody has given me positive suggestion. The fact that she always insist that I pay money is why I would never do so. The children are doing fine. She only want my money to use
as extra to be travelling or making people believe she does not need a man. She should be happy that I care about my children even if I don't pay. Some men don't even ask after their children but all this one knows is money. If I don't have money, does that mean I'm not the father? Her plan will not work. Those abusing me, I'm not surprised because you are not yet married.

dprincedej:
I need suggestions but nobody has given me positive suggestion. The fact that she always insist that I pay money is why I would never do so. The children are doing fine. She only want my money to use
as extra to be travelling or making people believe she does not need a man. She should be happy that I care about my children even if I don't pay. Some men don't even ask after their children but all this one knows is money. If I don't have money, does that mean I'm not the father? Her plan will not work. Those abusing me, I'm not surprised because you are not yet married.

What kind of positive suggestions do you want to read?

What is noble in a man that does not look after his children? It is only a deranged mind that would claim he cares for his children but feels angry about providing for them. Even those traders who sell okrika (second hand clothes/shoes) always chorus "I love my pikin, no be for mouth" while marketing their children' wares.

Are you angry she "no send" you?

You claim you are enjoying your second marriage and not certain the children are even yours then refused to pay for DNA tests, leave her and her children alone!

Give the fatherly love that is bubbling in you to the children your present wife have/will have for you.

I laugh when some dead beat fathers rationalize their being irresponsible by saying their children will look for them when they are adults, look for them to inherit the wealth they have amassed or to take up the responsibilities of caring for a frail old man who has become dependant?

dprincedej:
I need suggestions but nobody has given me positive suggestion. The fact that she always insist that I pay money is why I would never do so. The children are doing fine. She only want my money to use
as extra to be travelling or making people believe she does not need a man. She should be happy that I care about my children even if I don't pay. Some men don't even ask after their children but all this one knows is money. If I don't have money, does that mean I'm not the father? Her plan will not work. Those abusing me, I'm not surprised because you are not yet married.

you are a troll.

. I am sure another man is sleeping with her by now. I told the welfare that I want a DNA test before I can pay anything and they wanted to force me to be the one to pay for the test. I did not bother to go back because she might have bribed them. If I pay school fees and feeding then what would be left for her to be doing and I can only see the children once in a while

Erm hello.
1). You want her to keep her vaginà for you? Why? Of course she’s sleeping with someone else. You’re in her business. Don’t do that.

2) there’s more to raising kids that school fees and feeding. Sounds like you don’t not have a clue how much it involves which makes you think paying for those two things is too much. Those are really nothing in the grand scheme of what it takes.

3)you want me to be the one to pay for your DNA test? The more you try to complain about what she’s doing wrong, the more you show yourself as the not-so-innocent partner here. If you don’t trust the DNA center/clinic, choose your own center. I’m sure there’s more than one place where it’s done. You’re the one who needs to know. It’s your fee to pay.

Maybe the poster above me is right and you’re a troll

keepingmum:
You are gbenshing ur new wife yet expect ur old wife not to gbensh? E shock you abi? Shes certainly getting better sexual satisfaction now sef than what she was managing with you.

The law has told you: whether she speaks with you or not, ur children need food/shelter/clothes/education and you should contribute atleast half towards those expenses.

You should do that for a minimum of 3months sending upkeep and tuition and if she doesnt reneged, then revisit the social welfare again.

Your ex wife doesnt have to tell you her address or anything about her personal life: she doesnt owe you that and your conversations should focus solely on the children.

If you dont do the above...........goodluck to you and your new family

This is your ex-wife OP

OP And you’re upset she left.

keepingmum:
If i had seen ur post below, i d have saved myself of this mockery


Am I Not Justified? by dprincedej: 12:08pm On Mar 24, 2017

[/b]I am a typical Yoruba man. I loved my wife. No marriage is perfect. I hav beaten her several times and sent her out of the house, I hav two kids. I hav cheated on her inside and outside my matrimonial home. I hav been rude to her parents. I hav avoided paying my kids sch fees at times. I hav abstained from sex with her for several months in a roll. I hav borrowed money from her family members without paying back. I hav denied her as my wife. I hav embarrasses her in public and turned my people against her. But guess what. She is not perfect either. She can not take risk for me. She hates all my ideas. She doesn't trust me. She is unfriendly. She is lazy. She is a bad cook. She loves her family to a fault while hating mine. We got into a fight and I sent her packing out of anger She was arrogant enough to leave with all her belongings even the dust pan. I hav admitted my wrong doing and begged for forgiveness from everyone she knows. She said she would only trust me if I send her upkeep but I no longer had a job. I begged for years but she didn't give me a chance. It has been six years now and I have made it. I hav remarried now to a caring woman who helped me to prosper and stood by me. Have I done any wrong? I begged for years. I admitted my mistakes and promised. If my first wife loved me the way I loved her, would she not hav come back? Should a Yoruba woman ever desert her husband and father of her kids for that long? Did she expect me to stay single forever? She is talking bad about me because she didn't expect I would make it. God has put her to shame. Please comment only if you are above 40yrs. I don't need comment from small idiots who are not married.

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LadySarah:


you are a troll.

A serious one at that.

The OP is sounding so childish and confused at the same time. He is not just after his kids, he is still feeling guilty for wat he did to his former wife but unfortunately, he can't turn the hands of the clock, the OP still prefers his former wife to the present one hence his trolling. His childish nature got him into the mess he is now (the new wife), instead of looking for a way to win back his former wife, he rushed and got married all in a bid to prove a point. OP, u are stuck with ur new wife, leave her alone... Do the right thing and have access to ur kids.

dprincedej:
I need suggestions but nobody has given me positive suggestion. The fact that she always insist that I pay money is why I would never do so. The children are doing fine. She only want my money to use
as extra to be travelling or making people believe she does not need a man. She should be happy that I care about my children even if I don't pay. Some men don't even ask after their children but all this one knows is money. If I don't have money, does that mean I'm not the father? Her plan will not work. Those abusing me, I'm not surprised because you are not yet married.

You said the children are doing fine. If your ex-wife doesn't spend money on the children, will they be doing well? Or don't you know that as children grow, expenses increase. The law says take care of their feeding and school fees while the mother will take care of hospital bills, emergency bill, clothing, shelter etc. The money she will still spend on them is more than you will drop for the feeding, so why making it a big deal. You are doubting if you fathered those kids, so you should be the one to foot the bills.

If you like, don't see your kids in the next 20yrs, it's your cup of tea. You might think they too small to understand what is going on but they do.