I'm so emotionally down, so i created a new account to speak out how i feel..
I have prayed and even fasted, now i feel i might do something bad... That's why i need your advice.
I have this strong feeling that my husband of 2years is still having something with his ex... I remember two weeks after our wedding he traveled to imo state to the girl's uncle's house for wiring, that was how i got to know about the ex... He stayed 4days yet he said nothing is going on between them, i was shocked when i realise he saved the girl's number with (electrician), and nothing is between them, and the girl in question calls him everyday yet he denials nothing is between them!
He even lied and told me he went to village one certain time and i called the brother he told me he didn't come.... All this and more i have seen..
I' m beautiful with brain, hardworking and even sexy/romantic to the core... I get alot of distractions o, but we all know those ones ...
I have told him if there's something I'm not doing right I'm ready to learn in all area, and he said I'm perfect for him the way i am.... He even told me he wouldn't have married the lady for anything... And that he will end whatever is going on (it's not the first time)
My problem now is that i don't trust him again, i don't feel what we do.. I'm losing it, I think I'm fed up and i don't know what to do. Please i need advice from mature mind pls.. [color=#000099][/color]

Americaobea:
I'm so emotionally down, so i created a new account to speak out how i feel..
I have prayed and even fasted, now i feel i might do something bad... That's why i need your advice.
I have this strong feeling that my husband of 2years is still having something with his ex... I remember two weeks after our wedding he traveled to imo state to the girl's uncle's house for wiring, that was how i got to know about the ex... He stayed 4days yet he said nothing is going on between them, i was shocked when i realise he saved the girl's number with (electrician), and nothing is between them, and the girl in question calls him everyday yet he denials nothing is between them!
He even lied and told me he went to village one certain time and i called the brother he told me he didn't come.... All this and more i have seen..
I' m beautiful with brain, hardworking and even sexy/romantic to the core... I get alot of distractions o, but we all know those ones ...
I have told him if there's something I'm not doing right I'm ready to learn in all area, and he said I'm perfect for him the way i am.... He even told me he wouldn't have married the lady for anything... And that he will end whatever is going on (it's not the first time)
My problem now is that i don't trust him again, i don't feel what we do.. I'm losing it, I think I'm fed up and i don't know what to do. Please i need advice from mature mind pls.. [color=#000099][/color]

So what can we do for you now... No evidence here just suspicions

Were you aware of his attachment to his ex before you got married ??

uruba23:
So what can we do for you now...

For her to stay up this late to express her opinion says a lot about how the relationship is affecting her.

If you couldn't contribute, should have just read and slide.

Bluezy13:

For her to stay up this late to express her opinion .

I wasn't talking to you either, moreover I do give my advice base on facts. Everything she has said here doesn't portray any fact if they are other things let her say. It is not a crime to talk or meet with an ex neither does it connotes cheating.

Iyooooooo cartel

Always learn to walk away

uruba23:
So what can we do for you now... No evidence here just suspicions

Did you say no evidence when he saves his ex phone number with electrician? Did you say no evidence when Oga go say he dey travel go village and his brother said he never showed up? Tek yuatime before I swear for you.


To the original poster;
If your husband easily accept his mistakes and has a repentant heart, I will suggest you guys sit and talk over this issue one more time before you throw in the towel.

Don't give up yet. The fact that he hides and tries to cover up his mess shows he still has some level of respect and regard for you.

you should pray for him, how are you so sure he's not under a spell

marriage in naija na stress
op woke up 12:30 nigerian time to post this issue
tells u she is really suffering in her marriage

You are not making sense at all. What other evidence do you need?
For her to stay up this late to express her opinion says a lot about how the relationship is affecting her.

If you couldn't contribute, should have just read and slide.[/quote]

Americaobea:
I'm so emotionally down, so i created a new account to speak out how i feel..
I have prayed and even fasted, now i feel i might do something bad...I'm losing it, I think I'm fed up and i don't know what to do. Please i need advice from mature mind pls.. [color=#000099][/color]

Marriage is not a do or die affair.

If you feel you're not happy in this marriage I would advise that you quit now that it's still early

Your husband is a real cheat.. his attention is definitely divided. If u talk to him about it he is likely to repeat it again and again cos he knows u will eventually forgive him. My dear he is ur husband and u truly love him. My suggestion to u is to fight for what belongs to u. I don't mean physical fight buh u have be on his neck on every move he makes don't let anything slide. Don't talk to him in a soft manner cos he might sense u are weak and won't do anything.

I think he has figured out u are soft and u won't do anything or file for divorce. The moment u show him how pissed u can be he will stop. Unless 'my guy' don't love u no more. Just try this and see how it goes. If it doesn't work out,, my dear just file for divorce if ur heart can't take it anymore. It's between u and him no else should be involved

You should sparogatively stop overreacting!
Stop killing yourself and your marriage because of suspicions.

Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that he told you there is nothing between them.

A piece of advice: if your consciousness still troubles you, don't go all out to challenge him as he would certainly still deny again because you have no proof! (that's if he is actually cheating).

You have to act like a cat; lay low, be still, observe and only spring an attack when your evidence is evident!

Anyways, to the singles out there, if you ever want a partner, please go for one that is emotionally intelligent. It would save you lots of stress!

Edyice:
[/b]i was shocked when i realise he saved the girl's number with (electrician)[b]




You just make me fall for ground

you see why you must return him a favour by having your kpomo b....g by other dudes.

Anyways
Your husband has finish his EX kpomo

Na toto you come post for here?

@Americaobea
There is fresh toto everywhere so I see no reason why he should tie himself down to just your own.

Just pretend not to notice so long as he takes care of you and bangs you regularly

Hambivert:
You should sparogatively stop overreacting!
Stop killing yourself and your marriage because of suspicions.

Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that he told you there is nothing between them.

To the singles out there, if you ever want a partner, please go for one that is emotionally intelligent. It would save you lots of stress!

Suddenly there's nothing there because this issue involves the guy. You even went ahead to imply she wasn't emotionally mature because apparently a guy isn't cheating if he hasn't been caught red-handed. I sha know this wouldn't have been your response if the reverse was the case.

Hypocritical males on the beat. Again.

DaudaTheSexyGuy:
@Americaobea
There is fresh toto everywhere so I see no reason why he should tie himself down to just your own.

Just pretend not to notice so long as he takes care of you and bangs you regularly

It's like these that some men get their preeks cut off and yet many will wonder why. So she should ignore because he's taking care of her? If it was the man, would you advise him to ignore because wife is submissive and calm?

uruba23:
I wasn't talking to you either, moreover I do give my advice base on facts. Everything she has said here doesn't portray any fact if they are other things let her say. It is not a crime to talk or meet with an ex neither does it connotes cheating.

Are you married ??

Bluezy13:


Are you married ??

I doubt he’s married. Single pringus are fast to give relationship advice because they’re not in that situation
So it looks easy to them.
Lol I’m not married too btw

I don't live with both of you and i don't want to blame anyone but i think you have the right to be suspicious of his behaviour and the way you feel is also justified. Sit him down and talk to him as your husband, try not to get emotional as temper might rise and just try to get to the root of the whole matter. Try to let him understand that you actually go care for him and love him even if you don't, just say the thing that'll being his head home then probe him into knowing if he's tired of the marriage because time is of essence. If y'all need to go your separate ways, the time is now and if y'all are still ready to work things out fine.

Or you could investigate the whole matter and come up with solid proof of his alleged crimes. If you present evidence against him in court, they'll rule in your favour. Maybe he might even end up paying you alimony...lol...i don't know if that works in Nigeria.

Try and get your husband's ex phone number from his phone. Call her and talk to her in a calm voice. Explain to her that what she's doing is not good and you're aware of everything that is going on between her and your husband. Listen carefully to whatever she's going to say.

Then watch your husband and see if he will still be calling her.
If nothing changes, go to her house and talk with her parents, but before you do that, make sure you have enough evidence against them.

Another thing I would like to ask you. Did you get pregnant to this guy before marriage? Maybe he was dating this girl before he got you pregnant, then he has no option than to marry you. Lot of marriages are in this category. Both parties are in misery!

Did you also by any chance dated married men when you were younger? We as humans always forget that whatever we do, must come back to us. It is just a matter of time. Then add that up with the challenges that nature brings.

Again, if everything else fails, talk to his family about it. You seems like a good wife.

Good luck.

Americaobea:
I'm so emotionally down, so i created a new account to speak out how i feel..
I have prayed and even fasted, now i feel i might do something bad... That's why i need your advice.
I have this strong feeling that my husband of 2years is still having something with his ex... I remember two weeks after our wedding he traveled to imo state to the girl's uncle's house for wiring, that was how i got to know about the ex... He stayed 4days yet he said nothing is going on between them, i was shocked when i realise he saved the girl's number with (electrician), and nothing is between them, and the girl in question calls him everyday yet he denials nothing is between them!
He even lied and told me he went to village one certain time and i called the brother he told me he didn't come.... All this and more i have seen..
I' m beautiful with brain, hardworking and even sexy/romantic to the core... I get alot of distractions o, but we all know those ones ...
I have told him if there's something I'm not doing right I'm ready to learn in all area, and he said I'm perfect for him the way i am.... He even told me he wouldn't have married the lady for anything... And that he will end whatever is going on (it's not the first time)
My problem now is that i don't trust him again, i don't feel what we do.. I'm losing it, I think I'm fed up and i don't know what to do. Please i need advice from mature mind pls.. [color=#000099][/color]

Very easy to say.

Kobicove:


Marriage is not a do or die affair.

If you feel you're not happy in this marriage I would advise that you quit now that it's still early

Him saving her number with the name "Electrician" reminds me of Tee Billz's "Edible Catering". This is why marrying someone who isn't over their ex should be a no-no. You don't want to find yourself in this sorta situation where they can't let go of each other. You can call her and nicely tell her to leave your husband alone, but tbh, your husband is the problem, not her.

Bluezy13:


Are you married ??

ibere continue encouraging her to walk out on her marriage. You assume he is cheating without asking if she is always inquisitive of every female name on her husband phone .

Sad

Marriage is not for everyone. There are people who are happier single. I mean those who are do introverted that they cannot tolerate a very long time without feeling drained. There are people who prefer long distance relationship with few visits and frequent absence rather than continued presence.  those whose high attention sexual urge cannot be satisfied by any one individual. There are others who dislike the boredom of sticking to one  partner scares the hell out of them. Variety is the spice of life.The fun of experimenting with various sizes and  types thrills them. There are yet another group whose need for independence and freedom makes them dislike the idea of  consulting with another before making decision.  There is another group that  love to be in motion. They wake up one morning and decide to relocate to another state only to explore another culture the next year. Traveling is their hobby and getting married with kids hinders that . Settling down is like a death trap. Flowing water is cleaner. Stagnant water attracts mosquitoes and other microorganism.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/04/sex-and-marriage-are-not-government-buissness/

sorry