I am losing access to my son, all I have worked for is about to crash before me. My baby mama’s friend has dealt a hard blow on my relationship.

Don’t mind my grammatical errors pls

I and my baby had issues last week, only for her to tell me she is not interested anymore, I was shocked because that’s not her, even if I threatened her with a breakup she will tell me I’ll die with you, but this time she said it’s over and she is serious, I have never called anyone into our issues since we have been together but this time I had to tell my younger sister who is married to help me talk to her, she sworn to my sister that she will come back to me only if her mum comes from the grave. My sister called to tell me what she said, my sister advised me to inform my dad since her mind is made up, I don’t want to do that yet.

This girl lacks nothing, am not in Nigeria but I provide everything for her and my son, my son attends one of the best schools in Amuwo Odofin, I bought her a car on her birthday in 2018.

I didn’t sleep all night, I called her around 3AM this morning we spoke till 9AM while talking to her, her friend came to her bedroom telling her to hang up. I asked who was that she said her friend, I asked to talk to her and her friend boldly told me she advised her to quit because I can’t hold her down for that long without even proposing to her, I have been away for 2 years, will I throw a ring to her? They applied for visa twice last year they were denied, I was suppose to visit them this year but I can’t leave here due to the pandemic.

She is a product of a broken marriage so am I, I don’t wish that for my son at all, I have gone to see her dad, her mom is late, she is an only child, I personally took care of her mom till she died, i single handily cover her funeral expenses, including taking care of her aunts and uncles that went for the funeral in delta state since she could not make it to Nigeria at that time.

I met this girl on Facebook in 2014, two months later she joined me abroad. We had my son in 2015 though I wasn’t ready at that time but her mom insisted her daughter won’t abort I told my mom and she insisted I allow her have the baby.

Our wedding was suppose to be in 2017 but because of the disagreement between her dad and her mom’s family my dad insisted I hold on till they are ready. She only met this friend of hers when we got back to Nigeria.

My only crime is I call her too much, I told her she is getting too big, she called it body shaming. I have cried my eyes out.

She refused to go stay in my house in Benin, I pay 750k yearly for their rent in Lagos, their monthly upkeep is 200k, i have never complained till 2 weeks ago when I sent her 120k after two days I wanted her to help me send someone 12k she said she had 10k left, I got mad and told her how much is minimum wage, families still live on it.

Please I need advice, I just look at my son and cry because I know what I went through growing up with my dad and stepmom.

she already have bad friends as her adviser. why the sudden change? Ask her for the last time that what does she want you to do.

Person go meet better man wan use her hand spoil her relationship. Some girls shall. See wey tin girls dey find, Na this wan one use her hand spoil so

It's obvious her friend is feeding her with rubbish. I advice you talk to her and then give her some space. If she doesn't come around, then that's her loss

I have been deceiving myself all along. I used to think having a baby mama is better than marriage. They are both the same with different but same problem.

We are in the same shit, the only diff is, you dey abroad, I dey ibadan..
You send upkeep of 200k
I send 20k
Make I no even go the school aspect at all.
I think getting married is the issue here as they think maybe you have someone there already and may abandon her later..

Let me tell you a secret, if I am opportuned to leave this country, how I will take my kids from her is all I will think about...
If her friend could advice her to quit the relationship, do you know if she already introduced her to another guy who is already promising her marriage?
I still try to know what Nigerian girls problem is
For some it is money
For some it is love
For some it is both
Some don't even know what they want...

Someone said a lady can be with you, have kids for you, cook for you, have sex with you and the love she have for you is dead in her heart..

this is too much for you ...man

southniyikaye:
We are in the same shit, the only diff is, you dey abroad, I dey ibadan..
You send upkeep of 200k
I send 20k
Make I no even go the school aspect at all.
I think getting married is the issue here as they think maybe you have someone there already and may abandon her later..

Let me tell you a secret, if I am opportuned to leave this country, how I will take my kids from her is all I will think about...
If her friend could advice her to quit the relationship, do you know if she already introduced her to another guy who is already promising her marriage?
I still try to know what Nigerian girls problem is
For some it is money
For some it is love
For some it is both
Some don't even know what they want...

Someone said a lady can be with you, have kids for you, cook for you, have sex with you and the love she have for you is dead in her heart..

My brother as I type now am crying, I don’t know what this girl want but from all indications she must have been introduced to someone else because this kind of character is what I have never seen with her.

southniyikaye:


Someone said a lady can be with you, have kids for you, cook for you, have sex with you and the love she have for you is dead in her heart..

I was in a relationship with this kind of lady. I never knew I was digging my grave.

Broken2020:


My brother as I type now am crying, I don’t know what this girl want but from all indications she must have been introduced to someone else because this kind of character is what I have never seen with her.

give her the space she wants but always call to talk to your child.

She’ll come back when the fun has ended and her eyes don clear.

But the story here is yours, she might have something else to tell the audience. You should know women place so much value on marriage, when they suspect you are not heading that way with them, expect things like this.

Probably she feels you are still with her because of the child

Why didn't you try to formalise the wedding?You should at least have done introduction/engagement before all these 'movements' you've been making.

blazepascal:
this is too much for you ...man

The same girl advising her now was emotionally down when I was in Nigeria she was loving her co worker who had girlfriend the guy was friend zoning her I told her to move on if the boy is not ready for her she refused and kept pestering the guy, the guy was living with her in her apartment, she was paying the guys bills but they were just friends.

She said she took the guy’s name to a prophet so the guy came begging for marriage now they are married. The same person advised the woman I have lived my whole life for to quit me.

You made her insecure with your constant threats, which led to her making the decision to leave before you leave her.
She probably no longer feels secure and at peace with you.
Money is not everything, even love is not enough sometimes.
If you had assured her, and kept on assuring her, nobody, not even her friend, could've separated her from you.

thorpido:
Why didn't you try to formalise the wedding?You should at least have done introduction/engagement before all these 'movements' you've been making.

Bro I would have, who would I have paid to? Whose house would I have gone for the introduction?

This is really not about marriage because she knows the love of my son won’t even allow me think of marrying another person. I love this woman.

Omo which way forward like this and it wasn't even because of a lack of effort. my brother, "only judge can God this matter".

Broken2020:


My brother as I type now am crying, I don’t know what this girl want but from all indications she must have been introduced to someone else because this kind of character is what I have never seen with her.

Come back home and work things out ASAP!

Carchoice:
give her the space she wants but always call to talk to your child.

She’ll come back when the fun has ended and her eyes don clear.

But the story here is yours, she might have something else to tell the audience. You should know women place so much value on marriage, when they suspect you are not heading that way with them, expect things like this.

Probably she feels you are still with her because of the child

She said all of that, I don’t blame her I contributed a whole lot to it

.y advice to u is this the baby mama already has someone doing it out side with her and her friend has introduced her to alot of people in which she (her friend ) has discredited you as good for nothing pls don't dwell in the past ask her for the last time if that is what she wants if she says yes leave her send someone from your family to go take care of the baby from her leave her and I bet you u go find who go love you bro .

Broken2020:


Bro I would have, who would I have paid to? Whose house would I have gone for the introduction?

This is really not about marriage because she knows the love of my son won’t even allow me think of marrying another person. I love this woman.

I thought you said she has a dad.You should have done a 'small' something at least to show commitment.
I feel she's acting this way because she is literally 'hanging'.

mariahAngel:
You made her insecure with your constant threats, which led to her making the decision to leave before you leave her.
She probably no longer feels secured and at peace with you.
Money is not everything, even love is not enough sometimes.
If you had assured her, and kept on assuring her, nobody, not even her friend, could've separated her from you.

No doubt I made her insecure with my threats, but living documents of properties worth over 70 million with her isn’t enough assurance?

Broken2020:


My brother as I type now am crying, I don’t know what this girl want but from all indications she must have been introduced to someone else because this kind of character is what I have never seen with her.

my brother, channel your energy to something more productive.. If I share my experience with you, you will understand your case is not even something to worry about.. She practically left me when I was down.. It is said that you don't beat a dead horse, na that time this one carry 2by2 plank wey get nail dey flog me..
I am only concerned about your kid and they are going to exploit that, just wait for it.. Do you think if not for the fact that you had a kid she will threaten you with breakup?
Just hold on, don't cry yet as they have not made their real intentions known yet

Awon Alpha males.

No need to marry, get a baby mama.

Broken2020:


No doubt I made her insecure with my threats, but living documents of properties worth over 70 million with her isn’t enough assurance.

That means your words and actions contradict themselves. That is confusing.
If I may ask; are those (the properties) in her name or at least, your son's name?

thorpido:
I thought you said she has a dad.You should have done a 'small' something at least to show commitment.
I feel she's acting this way because she is literally 'hanging'.

Her were not agreeing

mariahAngel:



That means your words and actions contradict themselves. That is confusing.
If I may ask; are those (the properties) in her name or at least, your son's name?

My name and my son’s name

Broken2020:


Her were not agreeing

Well,call her and have a talk with her.Try to call her dad too.
If there is a way to come home soon,plan and come to sort everything out.

Broken2020:


Bro I would have, who would I have paid to? Whose house would I have gone for the introduction?

This is really not about marriage because she knows the love of my son won’t even allow me think of marrying another person. I love this woman.

How about a court wedding?

Broken2020:


My name and my son’s name

Where does she belong in that equation?

mariahAngel:


Where does she belong in that equation?

Doesn’t that assures any woman ? My documents is with her, which has my name and my son’s name

thorpido:
Well,call her and have a talk with her.Try to call her dad too.
If there is a way to come home soon,plan and come to sort everything out.

Okay boss

Shortyy:
Awon Alpha males.

No need to marry, get a baby mama.

Alpha males don’t get married ?

Broken2020:


Alpha males don’t get married ?

That's what they say.