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Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by hammed71(m): 7:18am On Sep 25, 2020 |
Nice one |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 7:31pm On Sep 25, 2020 |
Work life cont'd I eventually made a started talking to a few people , I noticed an Indian lady that was usually on the same train as me so I just walked up to her and struck up a conversation. In case you are wondering I didn't have any ulterior motive , I just thought well we might as well chat since we both do the 20mins walk from the station to the office. Turns out her parents were part of the Indians chased out to Uganda by Idi Amin ( some of you may remember that bloody movie ). There was also a new lady in my team , she was a more experienced Test Analyst and yes she too was of Indian descent , I have this thing about making new starts feel welcome , I guess it's because I know how nerve racking it can be being the new man / woman. I and her had an OK relationship , she was impressed by my mannerism , apparently it reminded her or her partner . She also complained about the money being crap , she earned more than me but it was still a major pay cut from her previous role . She had been a contractor for years and her lifestyle and spending habits matched , this meant she couldn't afford to be out of work for too long . I learnt a few things from her , I find that people are happy to teach you things as long as you are truthful and humble , there are exceptions though , some people are just mean. We both were constantly looking for other jobs and will often leave our desks to take calls from agents. She also helped with updating my CV , I never say no to someone reviewing my CV , it's something that requires constant work. I didn't have a problem with putting in extra hours , while I was getting paid for it , it also showed that I was hard working and willing to go the extra mile when the time came. Perhaps the most memorable part about working there was how they fired one of my colleagues, they called everyone else into a meeting and then told us , there wasn't really a meeting , they just wanted to save the employee the embarrassment of being marched out in front of everyone . What I mean is someone stayed with her while she packed her things , we were working on live systems so they didn't want to risk the disgruntled employee wrecking the system or stealing info. I'm trying a new style to hopefully keep the writing more consistent , I apologize for the long break , with this new style I just type my story on my phone as it comes , it's less structured but hopefully is still as engaging 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Gaiusc: 9:51am On Sep 27, 2020 |
I Love the way you pass across your message, it makes reading it easier to understand and relate to. Welldone Sir, i'm a big fan. 1 Like |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Axmondthuglife: 11:53am On Sep 28, 2020 |
Informative... Thanks oludanobi for this. Please keep updating us 1 Like |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 9:19pm On Sep 28, 2020 |
Still on my bank job in the motherland Heirachy in the Naija bank job was an interesting one , you had seniors by grade and also by age, both commanding some kind of respect. No I didn't anyone older than me their names , it was either MR A , MRS B , their nickname or their job title . I must not also forget senior by money , so you had the old drivers and dispatch riders showing smallee like me respect . I never took them for granted though, I understand that someone's financial position is not always a direct consequence of their action or inaction , I however also believe something somewhat contradictory , while the end result sometimes isn't a direct consequence of your action or inaction , you must do your very best to improve whatever situation you find yourself in . Everyone was useful in their own special way and as a result it's important to treat people with respect. The OND contractors taught me the art of counting money ( I don't get why these folks weren't given full time contracts ) . The security man would help collect the phone number of fine girls which in turn meant I would let some of his customers jump the queue . I didn't really need this since I already had a steady chic at the time ( bankers and women is story for another day), the cleaners would get food , the dispatch rider would do on interesting journeys that even the manager didn't send him on . When it came to raising money to put in my account to show I could pay my school fees , a few people were willing to lend me the money for a short while . I learnt the importance of building relationships , trust and loyalty, everyone has their day ! 7 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 4:09pm On Sep 30, 2020 |
Current day Well yesterday's presidential debate was cringeworthy, I couldn't even bring myself to watch more than 2 minutes of it. Reminds one of the last presidential election in the motherland , choose the better to 2 evils . The fun has commenced ! 2 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 1:26am On Oct 02, 2020 |
Current day Many thoughts and emotions running through my mind today , seeing a lot of posts , videos , messages that take me down memory lane, the mind is just bouncing back and forth so why not write what I am feeling - Nostalgia, I miss the Nigeria I grew up in, playing football , table tennis , table soccer , Catcher , Police and Thief , I miss riding my bike on the street with friends . Buying puffpuff , buns, suya or even stepping down with garri and vegetable. Fear , that our leaders are so short sighted and greedy that they would continue to loot until the poor turn against them to collect what is theirs. The country has been struggling for years and the change in government hasn't helped , it's just a change of batons among clueless thieves. If there hasn't been a solution and way forward until now , would there ever be? Thankful , that I am lucky enough to have left when I planned to and pursue what I believed was a better option , thankful that however challenging the path of that option , it has proven to be better , not without its obstacles but still better . Hopeful, that one day soon , Nigeria will achieve the greatness that we hope for , that the citizens will live in comfort and not poverty , that healthcare will be available to all and people can go about their lives in happiness without fear of someone coming to attack them irrespective of their tribe or whatever they believe. Total respect , for my brothers and sisters , the ones who remained in the motherland whether by choice or by force , the ones who are figuring in out , hustling everyday to make a living despite the obstacles. In spite of it all they continue to smile and remain positive . I hail ! 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 4:04am On Oct 07, 2020 |
First work impressions - US of A I was more experienced and I'll like to think more mature here. I went into work with a lot of enthusiasm , I tried to get a good idea of what I was expected to come in to do so I had a rough plan in my head , as usual I thought I was going to come in and do some good work. I chose to spend the first 2 weeks at the main campus so as to connect with my stakeholders . My manager was very friendly and nice , I sensed that during the interview so it made my decision to accept the offer easier . Onboarding was standard , a lot of meetings where I got to meet people and have them size me up . I make an effort to be more outgoing during my first few weeks ,you could say I learnt from my experience at the retailer . I spoke freely with people but paid a lot of attention to the unspoken words . A few people were friendly , others were indifferent and there were a few grumpy people but that was expected . Based on what I've seen I'll say corporate America is very cutthroat , I find myself having to prove myself and justify my being in the room , now I don't know much about the culture to put a name to it but I am sure I do not have imposter syndrome , I cannot tell you if it is because I am black or if it is because I am in a position where my success is measured by my ability to effect change and dependent on how much buy in I am able to get . I know effecting change is exhausting , I know because I have done it before , this is a whole new level of resistance, I am actually having to break things down or should I say dumb things down for people to agree .In some instances I've actually had to let things fail as long as the impact to the customer is not severe . Could this be because I am black ? I dont know o, my default assumption is not race , I tend not to assume that people react a certain way to me because of it , I think it's a slippery slope and to be honest for a black person in a predominantly white space , worrying about by fine black skin shouldn't be my problem , if their parents didn't raise them well , well that's on them . 9 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 10:05pm On Oct 09, 2020 |
Just because anything goes There usually isn't space at the table, stay there and keep prodding until you see a crack , push your hand into that crack and keep pushing . Eventually the crack will expand until you get a seat and when you get a seat , irrespective of how long and how hard it was to get the seat , work harder to prove you deserve to be there. Then remember that there isn't usually space at the table , create space for others too, you don't have to give up your seat , just move over , just a little . 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Nobody: 2:46am On Oct 14, 2020 |
oludanobi: Can I ask a question? Why did you leave the UK for the US? Didn't you like it in England? 2 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 10:07pm On Oct 16, 2020 |
kneehighbootz: Sure you may ask , I am afraid there is no grand answer to that . Honestly it was a combination of things , I do love the UK, Scotland more than England if you ask me but hey who's asking . I left because I could leave , go and explore and return if I didnt like it. It was something I always wanted to do and the timing was right . |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 6:00pm On Oct 17, 2020 |
Anything goes Just wanted to hail my people on this ENDSARS matter , it's about freaking time we came together with one voice to condemn this oppression . Everyone protesting in one way or the other , thank you !!! 1 Like |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by theconsortium: 6:53pm On Oct 17, 2020 |
I’ve read through, I must say I’ve learned a lot from your piece so far..I’ll like you to tell us how to you moved from UK to US.. Thanks for sharing your experience |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Ykaa(m): 7:54pm On Oct 18, 2020 |
I am waiting for the daily dose as promised (intended). I am hooked. Thanks for sharing your stories. I have learned so much. I pray God gives you the strength to keep dishing us the nice stories daily. |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 7:50pm On Oct 20, 2020 |
Anything goes I am ashamed to say I was really excited when Sai Baba was elected in 2015, I had my own spreadsheet tracking the results and all of that , in my mind no one could do worse than GEJ . I think around middle of 2016 it became clear that the change we sought couldn't be delivered by Sai Baba , it just felt like the president was losing steam , the initial optimism and excitement started changing into doubt . The last election was surprising , not surprising that he won the election , given Atiku was his main opponent I couldn't imagine anyone else winning , the suprise was that all the younger candidates had insignificant votes . Yes they would have done better if they formed a coalition but even at that the person that had the 3rd highest vote got about 110k and that was because his party was similar to PDP . Imagine the trickery in Lagos , I got carried away with the initial steps Sanwaolu took, I actually started to like him for a minute, but of course the leaders are back to doing what they know how to do best , turn a deaf ear to the cries of the masses , hire a few trouble makers and give them crumbs out of their loot and then use force. All my people on the streets protesting , please be careful and don't face trouble in small groups , go to only sensibly organised protest and stay safe ! Recent events and the arrogant display of ignorance by our leaders hammers home the need for major change , the kind of change that requires strategic planning and implementation, it is clear that this is not a PDP or APC matter , this is a matter of finding credible leaders . No, I don't believe everyone is the same and anyone elected will embezzle and abuse power . I however believe that for change to happen credible people have to come forward across board. I think this is the right time to start thinking about the 2023 elections , we need to find enough credible people and get them elected so that there is a major shift in the status quo . I remain hopeful ! 5 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 9:08pm On Nov 09, 2020 |
Back again OK let me apologize again for the last break and all future breaks, like everyone else, it is difficult to remain consistent and honestly my style of freestyle writing didn’t read like I wanted it to, maybe I am overthinking it ( maybe it is just me who cant be consistent and write daily) , so I am back to planning the flow in my head and letting it crystalize before grabbing paper and pencil. Anything goes remains anything goes though. Wow a lot has happened since my last post, ENDSARS , US elections, Covid on the rise, let's continue to keep our heads up , las las we go dey OK, but of course there is plenty work to do. I got asked about How I got to the US, I think the question was more about how did I get a visa - Chapter XI I'll say it's luck by birth, yes I could have been luckier to be Bill Gate's son , or maybe a Dangote but anyways I was lucky that my brother and sister were born in the US , this meant that when they turned 21 they could petition for their siblings ( me and my other 3 brothers) to become US residents, so they did. I hope POTUS doesn’t change this law , perhaps this is why many of my people still see giving birth to a child in the US as a good investment. Personally, I think it a good investment for whomever can afford it. The application itself is straight forward I think, you pay a fee, list the names of siblings and parents and some other info , then you wait , and wait , and wait , I am not exaggerating, it is like that line in Amaka "I don wait you sote, I don dey lose weight o", I think the waiting period is 10 - 15 years , it's not really something you can plan your life around, well at least I didn’t , I was excited when the application was put in but after a year or 2 you realize life must go on , so I just did that. Anyways about 13 years later we got letters saying each person could start their application for an immigrant visa, so you fill the forms online , pay a fee and then upload the necessary documents, a lot of back and forth here, the customer service and processes of these immigration/ visa processing centers is terrible , it is like dealing with robots , they reject a document, you send an email, you get an auto response saying your email will be responded to in 14 days, on day 12 you get a response that provides a link stating all the reasons why your document was rejected and then you need to figure out which one of the 17 reasons ( I feel the need to remind us here that this visa wasn’t free !) , anyways after multiple email exchanges I decided to call , well this time around it was a 21 min wait on the phone to speak to someone and then you had to beg them for information, it was exhausting ! After all documents are accepted, there is another wait, maybe a few months and then you get invited for an interview , I think there is another fee here too , some document gathering required here too, immunization info birth cert, document from the petitioner etc. I had the option of interviewing in my home country or country of residence and I just chose my country of residence , no need travelling all the way to the motherland because of interview of 5 mins. Medicals was another matter, well I didn’t have my immunization info readily available so I had to take shots all over again, of course I had to pay for medicals, some shots were available on the NHS so they were free, other I had to pay for. Interview was straight forward, a few questions about the petitioner, a question about how I moved to the UK and stayed etc , I think there was another wait of 7 days before my passport and visa got delivered. Initial visa was due to expire in 6 months, imagine waiting for 15 years and then you get a visa that you must use in 6 months, yes just up and go , 6 months to wrap up and move your life. To be fair, most people started putting things in order once they get the letter to apply for the visa, I didn’t . I was already loving the UK so the whole thing was more of a back up plan in case things didn’t go as planned in the UK. A few months later I visited the US with my immigrant visa. I wanted to get a feel for the land again. The bad customer service carries through to the immigration officers , no smile just straight face asking you 21 questions , I don’t remember most of it but they took my photo, scanned my 10 fingers and let me in. I had to go and register for my social security a few days later, it was nice to see some of my family members that I hadnt seen in a long time, some of my siblings from Nigeria had already arrived as well, I suppose they were more keen than I was. I wanted to get a feel for their job market so I applied for about 10 jobs in my field , these were direct company applications, you know those annoying ones where they ask for your CV and then you have to answer 40 other questions , most of which are already on your CV. I got responses from 2 recruiters asking to inform them of my availability for a telephone interview, I think 1 of them didn’t like the fact that I only gave then a slim slot so I only got a call from 1 of them, the phone interview went well , it was your standard why do you want this job, what skills do you posses, a week after that they scheduled a face to face interview. I enjoyed driving in the US, roads were bigger than our UK roads with not as many round-abouts, I found that people were not as warm as I was used to, there was this frostiness I couldn’t understand, yes I was in a predominantly white state but still … I returned to the UK 6 weeks later to continue my life, I withdrew from the job application, 1 week was too long in my opinion to get back to someone following a telephone interview. All in all I wasn’t convinced I wanted to move to the US Caveat - I apologize to anyone who has asked me for some kind of help or another and I haven't been able to because of my anonymity, I think it helps me remain true to telling my story without worrying about myself or how people may judge me , the story is more important that my identity and honestly it is more fun that way. All I am trying to say is no vex I am not ignoring you , I just am not able to if it requires me revealing my identity 12 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by moauk: 11:35pm On Dec 20, 2020 |
Oludanobi we’re waiting for update Na oludanobi: |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Fidelismaria: 12:04am On Dec 22, 2020 |
oludanobi Pls update |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Kozil2(m): 5:12pm On Dec 22, 2020 |
oludanobi: Been following your thread from day one and this is my first time commenting, I must confess your thread is amazing.. At some point it almost felt as if I was watching a documentary.. As an aspiring immigrant myself, I see your story as an eye opener.. Thanks a lot for taking time out from your busy schedule to educate us and thanks for sharing your story...love and light |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 8:03pm On Dec 24, 2020 |
Confession , I stumbled upon my old nairaland account and go carried away using it , I know you are all tired of hearing me apologize everytime but no vex , sometimes we get carried away doing other things some of them things we have no business doing at all but oh well who's judging. Interesting thing happened a few months ago on Nairaland when wrote a short note on investing , it was more a question than anything , one of my friends had been talking about investing in shares and I had bout 10 shares here and there ,nothing major . A few people on here too commented . Few weeks later someone sent me a message on NL , I had to follow him to receive his message which in turn meant I got notified each time he posts. One day he posted on a thread on investments , I found the thread interesting and so I read some more , there were recommendations on a few people on twitter giving advice on what stocks to invest in , long story short , I invested some of my savings , I know some people will say it is a bad idea , but .... My first few trades were smooth I mean I made some money and then I got excited ,there were lots of posts about people making cool money everyday , so I decided to be BOLD, I made a few more trades and viola ! I lost more money in one single trade than all my profit and in the coming days I was down 25% from my total cash injection . Few things I learnt - Nairaland has a lot of quality info , you just need to know where to look, a lot of good people willing to share what they know Dont jump into something you have little knowledge of and hope to succeed without putting in the effort The stock market is not child's play and like everything else to be successful in it ,you have to learn and be patient, your mindset is super important and sometimes it needs training too It's easy to get carried away by someone else's story , if they are selling something they don't owe you the full picture , they just owe you enough for you to buy into what they are selling - Turns out some of the idiots on twitter were actually being paid to pump certain stocks I decided to go back and do what I should have done before trading at all , I did some learning and watched plenty videos on YouTube and continue to refine my strategy . I'm now 15% up from my total cash injection. Am not an expert and I can't recommend any stock but I'll say for anything you want to do take the time to research and put in the work . 6 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Fidelismaria: 9:03am On Dec 25, 2020 |
Great tips. Merry Christmas! |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Nobody: 5:11pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
EgunMogaji2: Senior bros. I don dey vex for you already. After you don enjoy your life in America for 33 years finish you come here to talk nonsense say Nigeria na better place? Wey you dey enjoy for 33 years for america, we dey suffer here for eternity. If no be say you be senior bross, if no be say I respect my senior, I for insult you 2 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by EgunMogaji2: 5:16pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
oludanobi: I agree with you on that. |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Nobody: 5:24pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
EgunMogaji2: Senior bros. I don dey vex for you already After you don enjoy your life in America for 33 years finish you come here to talk nonsense say Nigeria na better place? Wey you dey enjoy for 33 years for america, we dey suffer here for eternity. If no be say you be senior bross, if no be say I respect my senior. I for insult you I nor care if Seun banned me here. |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 11:40pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
I don't know the chapter - Chapter somtin Thank you moauk and others for the constant reminders , anything explanation I give now will sound like an excuse so can I just stick to one constant "Me sef I be human being o" , I love that song by MI by the way , one of the greatest if not the greatest Naija rappers if you ask me . M sent me a message the other day , in case you don't remember who M is, he gave me my first graduate job in the UK and he later became my friend and is still my friend . M is British with european parents so he is a child of immigrants. I suspect he could understand some of my struggles. He had message me previously to check on me during the George Floyd tragedy ,out of all my white friends he was the only one that checked in . I think others were just not comfortable asking. This time M sent me a message asking for a letter of recommendation, and I was more than happy to write one , in life there are events that occur that shape your life forever , I am one of those people that is community made ( more of that at an unknown date ). Anyways back to the matter - What M did ! The job that M gave me was a fixed term contract , must have been for 18 months but I am not a 100% sure , they couldn't offer me a permanent position because of my visa , so they offered me a role for the duration of my visa, it must have been around the time the UK government changed from labour to conservative . I blame Gordon Brown for calling that woman bigoted . Anyways the conservative government didn't like immigrants , so they did their very best to create an environment that made it difficult for immigrants to settle in the UK. I was on a PSW visa , a 2 year visa you get after you graduate from a UK university and the plan was to move to another immigrant visa , anyways the conservative came and cancelled everything , this meant I was likely going to have to return to the motherland when my visa expired. I had a meeting with M 5 months before my visa was due to expire , I told him I wanted to resign so I could find a contracting gig for the remainder of my time in the UK . Since I only had 5 months left , I thought the best thing to do was make as much money to start something in Nigeria. M listened and asked if I had secured a contract yet and I said no , I wanted to resign so I could focus on the job search. M didn't think that was a nice idea, he advised me to stay, he said I could stay and keep looking for the contract job , he said I could leave whenever I got another offer. M went away and spoke to his manager MM and let him know I was thinking of leaving , MM took this info to his own boss, the big boss Mr B .M came back to me to say they investigating what could be done to help me stay in the company . M and MM had meetings with HR to explore the possibility of moving me to a company sponsored visa. HR said there wasn't anything they could do , it was practically impossible and it had never been done before in our region of the company , I knew another Indian guy in another department that had already moved back to India after years in the company because his Visa expired . M updated me and said they were still exploring the options but they couldn't make any promises because it was looking rather difficult. I continued looking for contracts but nothing came through, my wife and I decided we'd move to Australia so we started processing admission for Msc through an education agency in London. MM wasn't satisfied with our HR managers explanation , he and M highlighted that because it hadnt been done before didn't mean it was impossible , it just meant it hadn't been done before . They decided to go to someone higher in HR. That person advised them that it'll require hiring expensive lawyers and was very tedious , yes the company had done this in other regions for very specialist role but never in my region. Things went quiet for a bit , M and MM had different meetings with HR and the lawyers to understand the costs and requirements, it was an expense Mr B had to sign off and it wasn't small change . M took this as his personal project and did everything in his power , actually they all did , eventually the most important document required , the sponsorship doc and number was issued. Long story short , I got issued a Tier 2 visa a few months before my visa expired and yes I returned to the motherland that year , but only for a 2 week holiday . M would later say that is one of his greatest achievements , that part of the company hasn't sponsored anyone else since then because of how difficult it is . I remain loyal to M, MM and Mr B ! I had written that letter as a story on my phone even before he asked 7 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 1:16am On Jan 07, 2021 |
Happy 2021 people !! Just when we thought we had seen it all POTUS brings out another trick . Thasallfornow 3 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Evalusiah(m): 7:46am On Jan 07, 2021 |
oludanobi: Same to You.... |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 4:33pm On Apr 10, 2021 |
Anything goes - Need to get back on here ! This period has got to be one of the most mentally exhausting, we must endure. Took so long to come back here, no excuse really , commitment and consistency can be a challenge. I wonder if that plays a major part in successes of businesses or people in general . I mean before we start anything we already have expectations and measures of success, some of them somewhat overambitious, problem comes when reality doesnt match expectations, then we get discouraged. I'd be unrealistic and ungrateful if I said this thread didnt meet expectations, honestly I didnt have any expectations, I just thought I'd write for the fun of it and of course I am working on that book that this is supposed to be a tester for ( same content mostly , just a little more refined ). Your comments have been great and helpful, but then came the matter of feeling like I could do more , not a problem in itself until you start to feel pressure instead of enjoyment. OK end of the rant, time for take 2 , this time no promises, just enjoyment and flow !! No pressure 5 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by oludanobi: 5:05pm On Apr 11, 2021 |
Chapter Careers My first official mentor was many years ago when I worked in a bank in Nigeria. The bank had set up a mentoring program and all graduate trainees were assigned mentors within our first year of joining. Honestly I don’t recall my interaction with my mentor, I only met him/her once and that was after fighting hard to get permission to visit them at the head office. Our first meeting was to introduce ourselves and setting expectations, I left feeling I didn’t really need a mentor, I mean I already had sponsors , the same people that got me in will always look out for me if shit hit the fan. This mentor felt like another addition to the already long list of people to say yes ma or yes sir to , I had enough of those already. I didn’t contact them again until I left the bank. In hindsight I didnt fully understand the benefit of a mentor nor did I need one at the time. My employer in the UK encouraged mentoring, but didn’t force people to have one, learning and development was strongly emphasized but there weren't any penalties for non-subscribers. My first mentor was my old manager , I asked her to be my mentor when she told me she was leaving the team. She was super smart , confident and had mastered the art of breaking down huge problems into manageable tasks. Only 1 or 2 years older that me, she already held key positions in the company and was a rising star. She wasn’t necessarily loved my everyone, but she was respected and knew her stuff. Expectations were set at the start, frequency of our meetings , what she had to offer and what I was looking for . One of the first tasks was for me to answer the question - "What exactly are you looking to get from this ?" . I must have written an essay with a long list of things - Confidence , effective engagement, communicate convincingly , effective leadership, promotion. We slashed the list down to the most important and started work on those. Every month we would meet, set tasks for me to work on, discuss progress of current task and sometimes just go on a rant about things that were annoying us ( well me mostly) . I found this very beneficial, it was nice to know some of my challenges resonated with her and in some instances she had already overcome those challenges so she had a solution at hand . She left the company after a while , which wasn’t surprising, I had known her moves to be calculated and deliberate, almost as if she had it all figured out ( she'd say she didn’t by the way). Biggest confidence boost for me was her advising me to apply for her job , I didn’t apply but it was nice that she thought of me. I went without a mentor for another year and then I spoke to my manager about needing one, she recommended another lady. This time we decided to have an initial call to see if we matched each other's expectation. I left that meeting in awe of her, she had reached the peak in finance , managing portfolios of over a billion pounds , did well there and must have just gotten tired of the stress so she moved to my company for a less demanding role. Again we agreed we'd meet once a month, similar approach to my first, but Mentor 2 asked a lot of questions that forced me to be more aware of myself. It wasn’t enough to say this happened, she wanted to know why and what might have caused it . One interesting thing Mentor 2 said was, "You need to figure out if you have outgrown your role and then decide if the next role is in here or outside, either way I'll support you". I did 2 things with that advice , I left the company, but before I did, I helped my unofficial mentee leave the company to get the role he really wanted. I was offered a role just when I was leaving by the way but I already made up my mind. Interestingly both my official mentors have been female and white, I didn’t actively seek that in my mentors but what I sought was value and in this case it just so happened that they had it . It however meant I didn’t discuss any race related challenges with my mentors or any challenges around females, I somehow felt they wouldn’t fully appreciate the complexities of those matters. These are assumptions I made and are in no way indicative of my mentors' biases. I've found having mentors very useful, but again one must be clear about what you want and be ready to put in the work . It's not enough to just ask for help without knowing what exactly you hope to gain. No , you cant say you don’t know, it is your responsibility to know. 9 Likes |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Gcool2(m): 11:31am On Apr 16, 2021 |
Interesting |
Re: Introduction - The diary of one of many tired Nigerians by Spanishmilf(m): 12:42pm On Apr 16, 2021 |
EgunMogaji2:Hi pls I’m also in ibadan invase you need a dobberman or any dog i resell dogs you can patronise me thanks |
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