Ezi1993:
Anyway,,I don't feel pity for any guy that complains of one issue or the other that he may be having with his wife..becos you must have broken a very good Ex's heart and decided to settle for this one....Please enjoy what you paid for...Thank you.

So because he must have broken someones heart means he must b denied of his marital right?? where is d correlation?? how u Virginia people think self is tiring .

baralatie:
that na lie o! nigerian woman doesn't like sex!
you Don by lie o

i'm only being practical. i never generalized.

[code][/code]

degamonn:
I feel pained whenever I see my fellow men being fooled in such a manner. She has realised how weak you are and she's taking advantage of you.

There is no amount of advice that will help you except you help yourself. Stop being excessively nice to her as you can see that that is not the solution to the problem. Collect your vehicle from her, let her buy her own , she has given you the license to cheat, cheat on her and try to let her know of it.
Look, let me tell u, some people will consider my position on this as too harsh and cruel and the try to advice u to sit her down and talk things out with her, I can bet you, that wouldn't make change.
Act like a man and see the end result.

Based on the advise above, and on a personal experience I will advise you. 1. Speak to her mother. 2. Work on your emotions and stop begging for sex. 3. Stop being nice towards her. 4. Shower your son with excess love, gifts etc. 5. Take him out, buy ice cream and trash the container at home. Make sure she sees the containers. 5. Take back the car. Cease all forms of communication with her. 6. Cook your meals or if she's done cooking, take directly from the pot. 7. No sitting together in church. 8. Guy be mean going forward 9. Don't pay for DStv or cut off fringe benefits she gets from you. No buying of fuel for generator. Act like the marriage is over. Buy loads of books keep busy. Take sex off you mind. I did even more and she came all folded up and practical asked for it.

There are lots of factors to this.
1. Partner performance problem: It seems you are not satisfying her the way she wants and that can make her lose interest in sex.
2. Lack of emotional satisfaction: Maybe you're not hugging her, giving her a goodnight kiss, making breakfast for her, not being funny and playful, not showing a bit of aggressiveness, you need to show her all of yourself, not just the good part but the bad part aswell.
3. The birth of a child and becoming a caregiver for a loved one can decrease sexual desire in a woman
4. She's dissatisfied with the relationship: the feelings she had for you before marriage and after has taken a different route. She's not happy with the marriage psychologically or mentally.

There are things i can recommend you try doing

Martinez39s:
You are in a phase called RED-PILL RAGE. It is the inevitable anger and resentment that come with knowing female nature. These will pass and you will become indifferent towards women and start unapologetically putting yourself first, even when dealing with women, no matter what.

You can either love women or understand them, but you can't do both.

Lol.. Obviously, You can't love something that disguts you. I only love my mum and sis.

Liposure:
i'm only being practical. i never generalized.

even the practical synopsis is that the wife is using sex as a tool of negotiation not that she is asexual .
it is when he buys into it and ends up not even responding to the wife for a year that she will eventually hit the infidelity train.
so inorder to stop that train he has a choice to throw this attitude right into the open .so she will now make a clear distinct choice of either the marriage work or the marriage end

Martinez39s:
You are in a phase called RED-PILL RAGE. It is the inevitable anger and resentment that come with knowing female nature. These will pass and you will become indifferent towards women and start unapologetically putting yourself first, even when dealing with women, no matter what.

You can either love women or understand them, but you can't do both.

love for women is rooted in the understanding of their nature

Ezi1993:

I do ignore weed smokers like u,,,especially the one his brain was buried together with his placenta...Please go repair ur damaged generation ok...am not as cursed as you ...and in case you don't know,,,I am in a loving relationship...

In case my comment got you pained,,,,pls I urge you to kill urself......AAAANNNUUUOOOFFFIA.

....Will you keep quiet ....mouth odour like Buhari's Administration

collinsuchendu:

Stop hiding behind a male moniker. Pained bitch

I want to be friends with your sister, kindly dm her number.
Thanks

xxcc

collinsuchendu:



Lol.. Obviously, You can't love something that disguts you. I only love my mum and sis.

Hope you checked the preceding meme thread. Good night.

https://www.nairaland.com/5695941/many-memes-redpill-guys-get

Nigerian men have completely lost it.How can your wife refuse to have sex with you her husband and you plan to discuss the issue with her father?You can't handle the situation yourself and you still claim to be a man?
Son-In-Law :Sir your daughter has refused to have sex with me

Father-In-Law :My daughter,please allow your husband have sex with you

Wife :Okay Daddy.I will try

Like I said Nigerian men have completely lost it

If you don't have kids, what are you sticking around for? Does she add value to your life in other ways?

Jesslove:
If you don't have kids, what are you sticking around for? Does she add value to your life in other ways?

this is the mysterious part
the op said they have a boy

Miggs:
Nigerian men have completely lost it.How can your wife refuse to have sex with you her husband and you plan to discuss the issue with her father?You can't handle the situation yourself and you still claim to be a man?
Son-In-Law :Sir your daughter has refused to have sex with me

Father-In-Law :My daughter,please allow your husband have sex with you

Wife :Okay Daddy.I will try

Like I said Nigerian men have completely lost it Nigerian men have completely lost it.How can your wife refuse to have sex with you her husband and you plan to discuss the issue with her father?You can't handle the situation yourself and you still claim to be a man?
Son-In-Law :Sir your daughter has refused to have sex with me

Father-In-Law :My daughter,please allow your husband have sex with you

Wife :Okay Daddy.I will try

Like I said Nigerian men have completely lost it

swears! lol that's like the top most useless suggestion for the year.

I think the OP is a bit too soft.

I suggest he sticks to jerking off till he gets the mojo back into their rtnship.

Some women get wet from doing opposite of what they're asked to.

They crave a man who can control them without seeming controlling. And the moment you beg for it they tighten their grip like a Boa Constructor till she squeezes out the last drop of sanity in you.

All my life, I have NEVER had my way with any babe the moment I start begging. In fact, begging is anti-seductive and kills her attraction.

Too bad you don't know.


Your wife is a lesbian. She only married you to save face.

Uncle goan carry one Ashawo girl bring her at your house and bang her.... Make sure your wife heard the moaning.. Thank me later

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

I feel your pain brother...though im still a single guy but I know I have few things to say..firstly, please don't ever feel ashame sharing your burden with someone..yes it may seem difficult at first but it sure helps in the end..

Note that U need to understand your wife's love language..i mean been sensitive to the things or gestures that makes her feel loved...Ur wife made it quite easy by making some simple demands...yes i call them simple cos they will cost you nothing...she asked to spend more time outs with you in restaurants, movies and co...i think you need to up ur game in these aspects cos the truth is she feels deprived. Women are configured differently from we men..they love thrills even though they are married. They love to be pampered and we've got no choice than to give it to them.

There is absolutely no moral justification in her depriving you of ur marital rights but pls do not cheat on her, never you raise your hands on her, there is no honor in that. Like I said earlier, take her out more often...she wants to be out there with you when she can , not u bringing stuff home all the time. There are (restaurants/ bars ,cinemas, grocery stores)around, visit them together ,buy her gifts... women crave for these moments.

Lastly ,put ur marriage in the hands of the almighty..he that joined you both will never watch you separate. I believe Ur wife still loves you... Take care brother ,all the best.

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

go out and make new bitches friends and watch how your stupid wife will open her leg like MTN mass

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

Come, which kind useless advice be this nau? So, he should turn himself to a doormat for a lady who obviously doesn't give a 2 cent about his emotions? Why do we always keep making excuses to massage women's ego? There was a time my wife too tired this rubbish with me, I didn't even bother to beg her. I just called her attention to it, then, I reported the issue to all those who might appeal to me when I start my own craze. She still didn't bulge.


The moment she started seeing 'shadow' of one beautiful chick wey me and her dey run show. Her ego became deflated. The height of it was when she saw condom wrap in my wallet, na that day her brain reset finally. Who get time for nonsense?

OP, my advice for you is to never beg for any woman's attention. If you dare try it, you'll become their doormat for life.

PS- I'm happily married with a kid.

Martinez39s:
Hope you checked the preceding meme thread. Good night.

https://www.nairaland.com/5695941/many-memes-redpill-guys-get

WTF.. I'm just seeing this bro.. Saving it ASAP.

Thanks a lot.

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

This happened to me few years ago. I sat my wife down. Put the phone on record and let her understand I was recording our conversation. I told her this is going to be the last time she should deny me sex. That next time she tries it. I will get a gf outside,I won’t hide it from her and I really meant it. Since that day Na him her head correct. She’s trying to manipulate you

gudday brother, I would say it's the hand you gave her.

a woman using sex to manipulate man expecially in marriage is very wrong.

now way out:
you have to man up.

1. send the maid away let her do house chores after all she just have one kid now.

2. collect the car key and keep it to yourself, if she ask tell her you want to sell it.

3. do not wash or iron her clothes again. give her your few clothes to wash even if it's just few.

4. stop asking her for sex for now, keep yourself busy with female friends and make calls with girls when she is home even video calls. even if you have to fake calls.

5. start keeping late nights even if u have to hand out and gist on d street close to your house. make sure you come late and don't spend much time at home with her.

6. act very happy always even if she looks or act sad.

Note: always watch her closely and man up. don't pet her again but don't raise hand on her. you can caution her with manly tone. and Never let her act funny in your house.

if she still prove stubborn. arrange young girls to visit you at home claiming to be on official duty.


if after all this she doesn't apologize, gradually relocate and get a bigger and better apartment and live there. tell her you needed some space to put yourself together. call home from there and visit home once in a while. she will get the right advise to change.

@ OP I don't have an advice for you, but when I read Stories like this, I begin to think;

"Should we equally play the game Pound for Pound, Punch for Punch, Blow for Blow ?"

What do I mean?

-Cut off all source of financial responsibilty at the home front except the essentials (rent, utilities etc) that directly has to do with you and your children.
-Keep late nights and Stop asking her for sex.
-Act like you are a single daddy. Take care of your child or children, as the case may be. Take them out regularly and bond with them. Shower that child with love. Spend quality time with them, so that their mother don't paint you black before them. Ignore the woman totally.
-Cook Your Own meals or hire a young beautiful cook to come prepare your meals. Stop eating what she cooks at home.

If she weaponise sex, you weaponise your financial responsibilty and whatever resources she should be getting directly from you as your wife.

If she weaponise cooking for you, you weaponise giving her attention.

If she take away the kids, you use legal means.

Let everyone become brutal and stupid, and watch who will feel the heat.

But Will it even make sense? Will she get back to the program? Will she come back to her senses and have a rethink?

This one no be boyfriend/girlfriend relationship o.
This is marriage we are talking about.

When I hear annoying lines like "she's not in the mood", I begin to ask ; "can the man also not be in the mood to provide?". Wetin I sabi sef

Hmm...

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

Sorry man, there is no solution to your problem. It is the bitter truth you don't want to hear. It is only a matter of time before you start falling in/out of depression. Your wife now view sex with you as a "favour", she know that you can't take any drastic action because of your son. Accept my sympathy bro, las las na divorce e go take end. I just hope you are smart enough to start planning ahead and make some smart moves so you don't end up ruined.

When your wife start denying you sex, it can only get worse. Take it from me. An average woman in such age needs sex at least once every 3 days, some it's even daily. No matter how busy a woman may be, she can always bleep whenever she like. The busy excuse is nonsense. And dont forget that there is a high probability that she is steadily bleeping another dude outside.

demanuel:
@ OP I don't have an advice for you, but when I read Stories like this, I begin to think;

"Should we equally play the game Pound for Pound, Punch for Punch, Blow for Blow ?"

What do I mean?

-Cut off all source of financial responsibilty at the home front except the essentials (rent, utilities etc) that directly has to do with you and your children.
-Keep late nights and Stop asking her for sex.
-Act like you are a single daddy. Take care of your child or children, as the case may be. Take them out regularly and bond with them. Shower that child with love. Spend quality time with them, so that their mother don't paint you black before them. Ignore the woman totally.
-Cook Your Own meals or hire a young beautiful cook to come prepare your meals. Stop eating what she cooks at home.

If she weaponise sex, you weaponise your financial responsibilty and whatever resources she should be getting directly from you as your wife.

If she weaponise cooking for you, you weaponise giving her attention.

If she take away the kids, you use legal means.

Let everyone become brutal and stupid, and watch who will feel the heat.


Will it even make sense? Will she get back to the program? Will she come back to her senses and have a rethink?

This one no be boyfriend/girlfriend relationship o.
This is marriage we are talking about.

When I hear annoying lines like "she's not in the mood", I begin to ask ; "can the man also not be in the mood to provide?". Wetin I sabi sef

Hmm...

you are just making it worse in the favour of the wife

baralatie:

you are just making it worse in the favour of the wife

So what do you recommend? Like I said, I don't have anything to say to the op, but I can't beg for sex. beg ke

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

I would have advised you to collect the car then I remembered you said you both have a child. It's not cool if she enters the bus with your child. Who drops the child to/from school? If you, collect the car key. If none of you, collect the car key.

Does she appreciate you when you help out with chores and do something nice for her? Or she has an entitlement mentality which makes her indifferent when you help out? If she appreciates your effort, then give her time to adjust. If she doesn't, then you helping out won't change anything.

If both of you are still going to the church whose pastor joined you both, talk to the pastor about it. Leave family out of it for now.

Women often say they want to get married to a cool guy. But the honest trust is that there are times that cool guy shouldn't be seen as a cool guy.

Ladies lose sexual attraction over time especially after child birth. But having sex like 12 times in a year, that's alarming.

If she has lost the sexual urge generally, that's safe. If she has lost the urge towards you alone, then that's a problem. Cuz she is definitely cheating. If she is purposely turning down conversations, that's a red flag. She may be seeing someone outside and doesn't care about you two working out.

You have to be the bad boy for now. There is no big deal if she doesn't cook for u. Except say u no sabi cook. You have to act like you don't care. Some days stay out late and don't deem it fit to explain what happened when you get home.

Be spontaneous. If she drags you to get your attention, shout out loud. While you do these, in your heart, never stop loving her. While you do these, don't stop providing for the house as you used to. If she cooks sometimes, don't bother eating. If she asks, you say u are not hungry.

You have to look like the bad boy. Not necessarily being the bad boy. Stop initiating sex for now. Act like u are getting it outside.

If no changes and concern from your wife while u act like this, then you don't need a sooth sayer to tell u that there is nothing left in your marriage to make it work.

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

lol your problem is very easy to solve. Collect your car back, stop doing all the chores 100% start going out very often. Spend as little time as you can with her. When you come back from work, greet her and go straight to bed. If you have a second bedroom start sleeping there. Go to club or bar often you will get a female partner. Even if you don't have sex with her you will both be spending romantic times together. Your wife will notice she's about to lose you and will start chasing after you. This is 100% legit. She knows she has you under lock that's why she's exploiting you. I want you to know that what she's doing to you is 100% exploitation

Upon all the dowry and everything, person still weaponize sex,so you can do chores and take her out? Dey shout on you when u initiate sex?

Marriage matter ehn dey taya person jare

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

The issue of sex is a phase that will never pass in marriage. God has created man to be more hyper sexual than woman.

That is why he permitted more than a wife, one woman to one man is oyibo rule

demanuel:

So what do you recommend?

the best way now is not for the man to suffer in silence!
make the issue blown out open before people that matter(people she cannot hide from) in a way she is made to understand the end result of the choice she is about to make.either she ends the marriage based on the premise she longer is love with the husband as a result she finds him not loveable or she corrects this anomaly with immediate effect.(not try to make she makes a roundabout turn)
this without throwing trantums in the house