africaflozy:
I and my husband are introvert. Anytime we plan to go on a date, we would end up cancelling it and stay indoor to live our boring life.
We are boring but then, we are cool like that.
Many times I am glad I didn't marry an extrovert. I can't deal with someone forcing me to go out.


Introverts are the champions

I feel you Sis.

Wow. I never knew this thread existed. This is amazing. Reading your comments and posts makes me feel like you all live inside my head. I can relate a 100% to almost everything here

I’ve been searching for answers to why I do not like speaking in public or being around people I barely know. I was coerced to speak at a conference. The day of the event, I came up with a phony excuse and just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I always shy away from physical meetings with clients. I don’t like picking calls except from family or very close friends. I’ll rather they send a text. My life is very weird and I keep trying to understand it.

And yes, I think and plan a lot. My brain is always hot. I’m passionate about solving problems but anything that requires direct contact with people I barely know, I’ll just hide behind the scenes

Several times when I’m outside my comfort zone speaking with people or someone I don’t know, tears start forming. I do not fancy extremely long conversations that deprive me of my time to think. Except of course the other party is a very very close friend or family

I hope to understand this personality fully someday

mitchyy:
Wow. I never knew this thread existed. This is amazing. Reading your comments and posts makes me feel like you all live inside my head. I can relate a 100% to almost everything here

I’ve been searching for answers to why I do not like speaking in public or being around people I barely know. I was coerced to speak at a conference. The day of the event, I came up with a phony excuse and just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I always shy away from physical meetings with clients. I don’t like picking calls except from family or very close friends. I’ll rather they send a text. My life is very weird and I keep trying to understand it.

And yes, I think and plan a lot. My brain is always hot. I’m passionate about solving problems but anything that requires direct contact with people I barely know, I’ll just hide behind the scenes

Several times when I’m outside my comfort zone speaking with people or someone I don’t know, tears start forming. I do not fancy extremely long conversations that deprive me of my time to think. Except of course the other party is a very very close friend or family

I hope to understand this personality fully someday

Social Anxiety, that's what you have. I went searching the internet for answers myself too and found that answer. Turns out socially anxious people always think about how they're being percieved by the outside world so much that it becomes terrifying to relate with other people. Me, I've come to realize that consciously and subconsciously, I always think about how my every action is seen by everyone and much as I hate to admit it, try to please everyone too much to my detriment! (the nice guy stereotype lol). That in turn begs the question of self-worth. Do you give yourself a lot of self-worth? Do you think and know yourself equally desirable (for lack of a better word) as other people? Sadly, the answer is no in my case (but I'm working on it).
I see that you're married and happily so and I'm happy for you �. For the longest time, I've been thinking about how my marriage will go; knowing how fracking shy I am �. How did you handle yours?
P.S: I'm a rather young millennial so please pardon my brazen audaciousness

fannydaffy:



Social Anxiety, that's what you have. I went searching the internet for answers myself too and found that answer. Turns out socially anxious people always think about how they're being percieved by the outside world so much that it becomes terrifying to relate with other people. Me, I've come to realize that consciously and subconsciously, I always think about how my every action is seen by everyone and much as I hate to admit it, try to please everyone too much to my detriment! (the nice guy stereotype lol). That in turn begs the question of self-worth. Do you give yourself a lot of self-worth? Do you think and know yourself equally desirable (for lack of a better word) as other people? Sadly, the answer is no in my case (but I'm working on it).
I see that you're married and happily so and I'm happy for you �. For the longest time, I've been thinking about how my marriage will go; knowing how fracking shy I am �. How did you handle yours?
P.S: I'm a rather young millennial so please pardon my brazen audaciousness

I guess we are alike in so many ways. Well, my husband knew me for years before we got married so he understood my personality. He is the direct opposite of me and very social. When we hang out with people, I let him do all the talking while I do the smiling.
But when we hang out with our mutual close friends or family members, I am the parrot
It works best if your partner understands your personality. Perhaps if she doesn’t, you can try to educate her. My husband always says “Is it not you? I know you now. Nothing surprises me.”

I guess this has a lot to do with how I grew up. We didn’t socialize with others and my folks always kept us behind closed doors. My closest friends were my family members.

mitchyy:


I guess we are alike in so many ways. Well, my husband knew me for years before we got married so he understood my personality. He is the direct opposite of me and very social. When we hang out with people, I let him do all the talking while I do the smiling.
But when we hang out with our mutual close friends or family members, I am the parrot
It works best if your partner understands your personality. Perhaps if she doesn’t, you can try to educate her. My husband always says “Is it not you? I know you now. Nothing surprises me.”

I guess this has a lot to do with how I grew up. We didn’t socialize with others and my folks always kept us behind closed doors. My closest friends were my family members.

We are indeed alike in so many ways; my parents kept my siblings and me behind closed doors too and they still do in fact. My closest friends are supposed to be my siblings but they're both girls so nah, I'll be giving that title to myself
University helps a little but I usually end up clinging to the privacy of my little abode lol.
Your husband seems to me like a really cool person. I think Husbands should be cool no matter what xD....I've gotta work on my anxiety

[quote author=maximizer61 post=96305833][/quote]
Rubbish!
Not 4 introverts

fredwill1357:
Not low self esteem but social anxiety

social anxiety is an effect of low self esteem

Lemmy123:
Wow! Finally on here, you sure don't know what it means to read from page one up to this current page without skipping any page and without skipping any post.. First of all, I'd like to acknowledge the first set of contributors Olarewajub DonOms Vibesking Callmemercy Hakeem12 R2bees and the rest, these are the names that stuck in my head during the journey of my reading. It actually took me two months to finish reading from page 1... It's a lot of work but I didn't want to miss anything including the quarrels of a seemingly condescending girl who claimed she was an introvert yet go about insulting everybody and a certain Jack something Sha and his incessant whining and complaints of a useless life.. Lol.... That's by the way

My name is Lemmy, I'm an introvert, I didn't even realize I was until I came across the word. You see small talks? It detests me, I rarely go out, I get as much fun as I want without the constant urge that extrovert get to step out. I reason really deeply, I tend to counter conventional wisdom, I question anybody or thing I'm not comfortable with, whether it's a pastor or imam.. I'm not that religious by the way..
And I see a lot of introvert complain about being shy, I don't think I'm shy but I can't look directly into the eyes of elders, I don't know but from childhood, it sort of signifies disrespect.. I can't a address a large crowd, this has nothing to do with introversion, I just haven't sharpened that skill.. I can talk to anymore on the first instance, I can initiate a conversation and keep it, I can talk to girls if I want even if she was Agbani Darego, I like parties but I get tired of the whole noise and hysteria quickly and before you know it I'll escape from there and find way to my bed..
It's fun if you ask me, I'm not depressed or anything

well we share a lot of personality traits. I see what’s did right there but I forgive u

chidera39:


EXACTLY
I learnt this myself
When one is very self confident, only then can you truly know if you're introvert or you just need to work on yourself

totally agree

mitchyy:
Wow. I never knew this thread existed. This is amazing. Reading your comments and posts makes me feel like you all live inside my head. I can relate a 100% to almost everything here

I’ve been searching for answers to why I do not like speaking in public or being around people I barely know. I was coerced to speak at a conference. The day of the event, I came up with a phony excuse and just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I always shy away from physical meetings with clients. I don’t like picking calls except from family or very close friends. I’ll rather they send a text. My life is very weird and I keep trying to understand it.

And yes, I think and plan a lot. My brain is always hot. I’m passionate about solving problems but anything that requires direct contact with people I barely know, I’ll just hide behind the scenes

Several times when I’m outside my comfort zone speaking with people or someone I don’t know, tears start forming. I do not fancy extremely long conversations that deprive me of my time to think. Except of course the other party is a very very close friend or family

I hope to understand this personality fully someday

sorry to say but u need a psychologist

I am here again , whether u like it or not

Liliantalks:
social anxiety is an effect of low self esteem

Nope, I use to experience social anxiety in my teenage years a lot, I still do now but not as much. It is usually caused by shyness, fear, inexperience and other factors. Pain, more socialization and seriousness reduces social anxiety.

mitchyy:
Wow. I never knew this thread existed. This is amazing. Reading your comments and posts makes me feel like you all live inside my head. I can relate a 100% to almost everything here

I’ve been searching for answers to why I do not like speaking in public or being around people I barely know. I was coerced to speak at a conference. The day of the event, I came up with a phony excuse and just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I always shy away from physical meetings with clients. I don’t like picking calls except from family or very close friends. I’ll rather they send a text. My life is very weird and I keep trying to understand it.

And yes, I think and plan a lot. My brain is always hot. I’m passionate about solving problems but anything that requires direct contact with people I barely know, I’ll just hide behind the scenes

Several times when I’m outside my comfort zone speaking with people or someone I don’t know, tears start forming. I do not fancy extremely long conversations that deprive me of my time to think. Except of course the other party is a very very close friend or family

I hope to understand this personality fully someday

Don't mind anyone saying you need a psychologist. You are perfectly okay. Everyone cannot be the same, some are more emotional than others, some are nervous or shy, others are bold and gregarious, it doesn't take anything away from you. The important thing is to continue to grow, and be able to flex from your default mode when need be - e.g. an interview.
cheers

GLYCOLYSISS:

Most of the issues you listed stems from low self esteem.
Forget these psychological schemas most people employ to downplay the effect terrible low self esteem plays in their relation with others, under the guise of introverted personality,just to prevent people from seeing behind the mask of their personality disorder(s) or self image.
Work on your self esteem, trust me, the highlighted will automatically fix themselves, irrespective of your introverted personality ,is you genuinely is one.

You can't just generalize and assume people who are still growing in a particular area are suffering from low self esteem. This thread is meant to be a safe space for introverts, and not for others to come and be doing psychoanalysis and guesswork on people they don't know.

Liliantalks:
sorry to say but u need a psychologist

No I do not. Whatever you highlighted there is as a result of being shy. Thank you

tot:


Don't mind anyone saying you need a psychologist. You are perfectly okay. Everyone cannot be the same, some are more emotional than others, some are nervous or shy, others are bold and gregarious, it doesn't take anything away from you. The important thing is to continue to grow, and be able to flex from your default mode when need be - e.g. an interview.
cheers

Thank you. With time I’ve come to realize I need to put these nervous feelings with strangers aside. And my methods are truly working. But one step at a time

Liliantalks:
social anxiety is an effect of low self esteem

You'll just open/carry ur mouth/phone waaa and utter/type rubbish, you need to be kicked out of this thread.

tot:


Don't mind anyone saying you need a psychologist. You are perfectly okay. Everyone cannot be the same, some are more emotional than others, some are nervous or shy, others are bold and gregarious, it doesn't take anything away from you. The important thing is to continue to grow, and be able to flex from your default mode when need be - e.g. an interview.
cheers

she need a psychologist. U for tag me na .

mitchyy:

No I do not. Whatever you highlighted there is as a result of being shy. Thank you

that’s why u Unknowingly tear up when talking to someone? U need a psychologist doesn’t mean u are crazy. Solving a problem is first believing u hv a problem . There is nothing introverted about crying while talking to people.

Please house, happy sunday. this introvert here needs Job.He is a graduate and ready to start work immediately. Thanks and happy Christmas in advance.. ... I need job my people I believe that it is possible this 2020.

Liliantalks:
that’s why u Unknowingly tear up when talking to someone? U need a psychologist doesn’t mean u are crazy. Solving a problem is first believing u hv a problem . There is nothing introverted about crying while talking to people.

Crying is different from having traces of tears in your eyes when talking with “some strangers”. I have tears in my eyes whenever I display any emotion - happiness, sadness, anger, embarrassment or high level of discomfort. And i know quite well what a psychologist is and does. So no, i do not need one. I also never tagged that aspect of my personality to being introverted. It is my personality and a part of me.

Thank you

mitchyy:


Crying is different from having traces of tears in your eyes when talking with “some strangers”. I have tears in my eyes whenever I display any emotion - happiness, sadness, anger, embarrassment or high level of discomfort. And i know quite well what a psychologist is and does. So no, i do not need one. I also never tagged that aspect of my personality to being introverted. It is my personality and a part of me.

Thank you

hmmm atleast I’m glad u said it has nothing to do with ur introversion.

Liliantalks:
she need a psychologist. U for tag me na .

Why would I tag you, what is my business with you?

iamyemiakins:


You'll just open/carry ur mouth/phone waaa and utter/type rubbish, you need to be kicked out of this thread.

As in, the attention seeking is on another level. I think people should just ignore her. Afterall, if you are not an introvert, what are you doing on this thread?

tot:


Why would I tag you, what is my business with you?

then don’t talk about anything that regards to me. If u ain’t bold enough to tag me .

[s]

Liliantalks:
then don’t talk about anything that regards to me. If u ain’t bold enough to tag me .

[/s]

iamyemiakins:


You'll just open/carry ur mouth/phone waaa and utter/type rubbish, you need to be kicked out of this thread.

indeed. The truth is bitter . Is ur family members u are talking about not me , with the four or more people that will like ur comments.. if I see what makes no sense I will say it . Whether u like it or not . I can also see u edited post . Trust me it wouldn’t hv taken this long for me to reply

tot:


As in, the attention seeking is on another level. I think people should just ignore her. Afterall, if you are not an introvert, what are you doing on this thread?

attention seeking because I say the bitter truth most of u all don’t wanna hear, ever mental illness is tagged as introversion . U are free to type because ? But mine is attention seeking because u don’t agree with it ? U never see anything

[s]

Liliantalks:
attention seeking because I say the bitter truth most of u all don’t wanna hear, ever mental illness is tagged as introversion . U are free to type because ? But mine is attention seeking because u don’t agree with it ? U never see anything

[/s]

tot:


[s]Don't mind anyone saying you need a psychologist. You are perfectly okay. Everyone cannot be the same, some are more emotional than others, some are nervous or shy, others are bold and gregarious, it doesn't take anything away from you. The important thing is to continue to grow, and be able to flex from your default mode when need be - e.g. an interview.
cheers[/s]

next time, ignore me and say nothing concerning me .

[s]

Liliantalks:
next time, ignore me and say nothing concerning me .

[/s]

Liliantalks:
[s]indeed. The truth is bitter . Is ur family members u are talking about not me , with the four or more people that will like ur comments.. if I see what makes no sense I will say it . Whether u like it or not . I can also see u edited post . Trust me it wouldn’t hv taken this long for me to reply[/s]

Hoeniranu