AlexBells:
Sometimes ago, I was exposed to really loud Noise While Working with some Sound Samples as I'm into music Stuff, after that I got this funny feeling in my ear, it was a little painful.

So I told my girlfriend when she called, honestly she been supportive and all of that but after telling her that I feel a little strange feeling in my ear, after our talks, she called my elder Sister and told her how I'm sick and all of that, that she should check on me cause I been in my room for some times.

After my sister came in my room asking what's wrong with me, it was just a damn noise exposure, she said if I should need medical attention, I said nothing to worry about, but being a kind of private individual I felt so terrible and it all looked like my girlfriend is a snitch.

Long story shot, I picked my phone called her and gave her really stern warning telling her before she discuss my personal issue I told her with my family or anyone else she must get approval from me, well I'm a little hot tempered guy and all I expected was for her to say I'm sorry it won't happen again but she tried to defend her actions, well I'm thankful she's far away and it was over the phone.

I reminded her when she was sick and I was aware, i could have just picked up my phone and call her elder sister, well it snowballed into an outburst but I made myself clear, next time she tried such play on my privacy, it may end terribly.

It a long time gone now but how would you react if it were you.

No matter how hot ur temper is, it cannot boil egg.

Apply wisdom before u end up doing something u forever regret

AlexBells:
Sometimes ago, I was exposed to really loud Noise While Working with some Sound Samples as I'm into music Stuff, after that I got this funny feeling in my ear, it was a little painful.

So I told my girlfriend when she called, honestly she been supportive and all of that but after telling her that I feel a little strange feeling in my ear, after our talks, she called my elder Sister and told her how I'm sick and all of that, that she should check on me cause I been in my room for some times.

After my sister came in my room asking what's wrong with me, it was just a damn noise exposure, she said if I should need medical attention, I said nothing to worry about, but being a kind of private individual I felt so terrible and it all looked like my girlfriend is a snitch.

Long story shot, I picked my phone called her and gave her really stern warning telling her before she discuss my personal issue I told her with my family or anyone else she must get approval from me, well I'm a little hot tempered guy and all I expected was for her to say I'm sorry it won't happen again but she tried to defend her actions, well I'm thankful she's far away and it was over the phone.

I reminded her when she was sick and I was aware, i could have just picked up my phone and call her elder sister, well it snowballed into an outburst but I made myself clear, next time she tried such play on my privacy, it may end terribly.

It a long time gone now but how would you react if it were you.

youre still very childish...how old are you by the way?

Yahksbiz:
And you didn't slap her, my did and I almost break up with her

your iq is very low

AlexBells:

I couldn't think on really being hard on her as I thought okay maybe she did it out of care but then it my privacy, my family and my life, so but it was on the phone so I couldn't be physical even if I wanted

if you wanted “wow a lot of y’all really do not have shame...you must be a bad breed for avoiding your family this much...so I don’t blame you

AlexBells:

I did not physically assault her, and I have no intention to, but when I called her and told her she shouldn't have called my family that way, she retaliated you know actions and reactions are equals and opposite, is it right for to call my family and tell them, that's the question

if girls come y’all’s way to eat your money and not care about you..you’d be quick to come here and label girls as gold diggers...smh

AlexBells:
⁷
You are just saying things that you don't understand the implications, what if I called your sister and told her you are having some complications after an abortion, I guess that will be caring also, where did I say that I will beat her

ur excuses are lame, why would u cal my sister i have complication after abortion

did i abort, do i really have complication?

learn to teach ur partner not scream down at her, teach her like a real niggarrr not shout at her like a poosie assss niggar, tell her the things you want her to do and the way u want her to do it in the most loving and gentle manner u can


well I'm thankful she's far away and it was over the phone.



now at the bolded. tell us what you meant thank you

Somebody call that lala person to put this thread on frontpage. Maybe if more people tell him he will go and apologise to the girl for loving him.

budaatum:
Somebody call that lala person to put this thread on frontpage. Maybe if more people tell him he will go and apologise to the girl for loving him.

lalastica oya come. the man say his girlfriend is a snake

U have anger issues,
Family issues,
Personality issues.

Red flag. Sort these issues out and leave the poor girl alone.

Deja vu.....

Feels like I've seen this thread before....weird


OP, she did out of love, and see the reaction she got.
Next time when she's in another relationship, and doesn't show such amount of care, the new guy will probably come here wailing.
People say I'm insensitive, I just try to avoid situations like this.

@AlexBells

Khd95:
ur excuses are lame, why would u cal my sister i have complication after abortion

did i abort, do i really have complication?

learn to teach ur partner not scream down at her, teach her like a real niggarrr not shout at her like a poosie assss niggar, tell her the things you want her to do and the way u want her to do it in the most loving and gentle manner u can


well I'm thankful she's far away and it was over the phone.



now at the bolded. tell us what you meant thank you

Okay let's see it this way, she tried to be there for me, most times I scolded her but then if she was there it could have still ended there but i just don't like the fact she called that way, i used to hook her up with my mum it all sounds creepy cause she's trying to care and that's what everyone sees and this type of mindset is why it resulted to scolding, just the way everyone is claiming she care, she care that's how it resulted to argument and then scolding, she wish she was there that's enough, I called her on phone what made her think I can't call my sister cause if it were you this how the issue will start and I will end up scolding at you, you did something, I told you it not proper and you protest it, why don't you look into the issue, everyone is not the same and every relationship is special, there are people who want their friends and families to call them on Birthdays but me I switch off my phone and deactivate my social handles on such occasions I like my privacy and when I bring you into my life and affairs please don't bring others into it, that's caring to me

iamloyalty:
U have anger issues,
Family issues,
Personality issues.

Red flag. Sort these issues out and leave the poor girl alone.

Okay let's see it this way, she tried to be there for me, most times I scolded her but then if she was there it could have still ended there but i just don't like the fact she called that way, i used to hook her up with my mum it all sounds creepy cause she's trying to care and that's what everyone sees and this type of mindset is why it resulted to scolding, just the way everyone is claiming she care, she care that's how it resulted to argument and then scolding, she wish she was there that's enough, I called her on phone what made her think I can't call my sister cause if it were you this how the issue will start and I will end up scolding at you, you did something, I told you it not proper and you protest it, why don't you look into the issue, everyone is not the same and every relationship is special, there are people who want their friends and families to call them on Birthdays but me I switch off my phone and deactivate my social handles on such occasions I like my privacy and when I bring you into my life and affairs please don't bring others into it, that's caring to me

mename:
Deja vu.....

Feels like I've seen this thread before....weird


OP, she did out of love, and see the reaction she got.
Next time when she's in another relationship, and doesn't show such amount of care, the new guy will probably come here wailing.
People say I'm insensitive, I just try to avoid situations like this.

@AlexBells

Okay let's see it this way, she tried to be there for me, most times I scolded her but then if she was there it could have still ended there but i just don't like the fact she called that way, i used to hook her up with my mum it all sounds creepy cause she's trying to care and that's what everyone sees and this type of mindset is why it resulted to scolding, just the way everyone is claiming she care, she care that's how it resulted to argument and then scolding, she wish she was there that's enough, I called her on phone what made her think I can't call my sister cause if it were you this how the issue will start and I will end up scolding at you, you did something, I told you it not proper and you protest it, why don't you look into the issue, everyone is not the same and every relationship is special, there are people who want their friends and families to call them on Birthdays but me I switch off my phone and deactivate my social handles on such occasions I like my privacy and when I bring you into my life and affairs please don't bring others into it, that's caring to me

Tecks10:
Op

Even though she might be wrong by involving your sister without your consent; you should have seen that her actions were because she cares for you.

You shouldn't have scolded her, her actions were very harmless. You should have passed your dislike for her actions in a better way like - " babe, I appreciate your concern, but please next time, do not do something like that without my permission ". Case solved! And believe me, she would have apologized.

This is too trivial to earn a scold.

And to think you would have slapped her, just as someone asked you to, here, speak volumes of your personality.

You equally called her stupid, because she's in love with you.

All I can tell you is may whatever you believe in, have mercy on you.

Work on your personality, sir!

Don't type the way it sounds in your head, see a woman in love is not so rational it not just her it General issue, I can remember when my sister have issues with their husbands they underreported it just to protect him, even my 19 year old niece I needed to open a joint bank account with her and I told myself it better I open the account with the mother, at least that one had passed that love drive stage, this is a Generally acknowledged principle don't use it to nail me, as regards the manner I approached the issue, just like you she sees no error in what she did and that's just so annoying, why non of you sees it my privacy cause I will be scolding at you now at all the reasons you are giving me instead seeing that this is not cool by my person

You be stupid boy(not man). You and the people that agree with you.

Your girlfriend call person wey dey close to you to check on you to ascertain how serious your condition is and you called her back to talk rubbish. Girl wey genuinely care about you?? Again, you be stupid boy

I remember when I was sick in the university. My BF called me and I reluctantly told him which made him very unhappy cos he d do anything to be there. 20 mins later, my roomie raced to the hostel from lecture asking if I was OK or dying. My bf had called her.

I was very happy that I had someone who cared even in his absence infact it got my roomie jealous cos she narrated how he had threatened her if anything happens to me. On his orders, I was forced to the hospital against my wish.

you were so wrong .She felt helpless and did what any rational human would do. Since you don't appreciate it, next time don't be angry when she downplays things. This isn't any secret. Lol, you can't even keep secrets more than a woman. Appreciate who you have

Shouting at her was totally unnecessary. I think you should apologize to her.

Cc AlexBells

AlexBells:

Don't type the way it sounds in your head.

AlexBells, you are typing the way it sounds in your head and despite opening a thread asking Did I Do Wrong and being told yes you did do wrong you continue to insist that how it is in your head is how it is which just makes one wonder if you were seeking affirmation that how it is in your head is how it must be in everyone else's head despite everyone telling you it isn't.

The wise accept correction. Fools insist on following the way to folly.

Atiku:
You be stupid boy(not man). You and the people that agree with you.

Your girlfriend call person wey dey close to you to check on you to ascertain how serious your condition is and you called her back to talk rubbish. Girl wey genuinely care about you?? Again, you be stupid boy

Your kind of attitude is the reason why marriages crash, because you are claiming that it your right to call my family just because you care, what happened to respecting my feelings, what happened to asking baby do you need additional help, should I call your family, you are just being emotional here, is it even all your family members you are in good terms with, I don't like people's irrationality, but one thing is clear let's say I'm terrible, someday I'm going to find a woman who loves me with my flaws, who at least have similar values, if you love me you respect me too, just because I'm open to you as my woman does not mean you should broadcast all my predicaments, grow up, if I told her I'm broke then she would call my sister tell her I'm broke, do you even have respect at all,

budaatum:


AlexBells, you are typing the way it sounds in your head and despite opening a thread asking Did I Do Wrong and being told yes you did do wrong you continue to insist that how it is in your head is how it is which just makes one wonder if you were seeking affirmation that how it is in your head is how it must be in everyone else's head despite everyone telling you it isn't.

The wise accept correction. Fools insist on following the way to folly.

This is why I had issues with her in the first place because she thinks like everyone else and it gets to that part it piss off, the way I presented the situation should show you I was not intending to scold her but the same reaction you are giving is same reaction she gave, just because she care does not mean what I feel does not matter

AlexBells:
Sometimes ago

It is Some time ago NOT SOMETIMES AGO

LadySarah:
I remember when I was sick in the university. My BF called me and I reluctantly told him which made him very unhappy cos he d do anything to be there. 20 mins later, my roomie raced to the hostel from lecture asking if I was OK or dying. My bf had called her.

I was very happy that I had someone who cared even in his absence infact it got my roomie jealous cos she narrated how he had threatened her if anything happens to me. On his orders, I was forced to the hospital against my wish.

you were so wrong .She felt helpless and did what any rational human would do. Since you don't appreciate it, next time don't be angry when she downplays things. This isn't any secret. Lol, you can't even keep secrets more than a woman. Appreciate who you have

Shouting at her was totally unnecessary. I think you should apologize to her.

Cc AlexBells

You don't understand there big difference between room mate and family, the other time I was unreachable, she called my best friend which I had no problem with, when she sick I call her best friend urging her to take good care of her but I never went the part of calling her family, just image now you are sick and in the same house with your family and strange girl will be the one breaking the news of your being sick to your family, there is process to everything, is she trying to make it look I'm hiding something from my family, if she called my best friend, I got no problem with that, there was even a time I had issue with my mum, I was very angry and my mum begging me in tears said if I can give her my phone so she can call my girlfriend to talk to me, just get it I like due process. Even my mum had to take permission from me before calling her to calm me down

AlexBells:

This is why I had issues with her in the first place because she thinks like everyone else and it gets to that part it piss off, the way I presented the situation should show you I was not intending to scold her but the same reaction you are giving is same reaction she gave, just because she care does not mean what I feel does not matter

My advise to you is dump her and find yourself a girlfriend who does not think like everyone else. There's some on here who don't think like everyone else who might be willing to replace her, though from what I'm seeing from the responses you are getting, they are mostly not women, so perhaps consider that maybe a boyfriend would suit you better.

AlexBells:

I couldn't think on really being hard on her as I thought okay maybe she did it out of care but then it my privacy, my family and my life, so but it was on the phone so I couldn't be physical even if I wanted

Nigga, man up. Don't listen to these effeminate 'modern men' women have turned into their mumus. Don't let them guilt-trip you with their "women love men who are in touch with their feminine side" crap.

All women like assertive and confident men, who know what they want and insist on it, as long as they are not mean, petty and controlling bullies.

How you start your relationship and what you tolerate from the beginning is what will become the norm.

Set boundaries and insist she must respect them. If she does not show respect for demands you make, that mean a lot to you, then break up with her. Trust me it will save you a lot of pain because a woman who cannot defer to her man is going to cause you serious pain in the end.

AlexBells:

You don't understand there big difference between room mate and family, the other time I was unreachable, she called my best friend which I had no problem with, when she sick I call her best friend urging her to take good care of her but I never went the part of calling her family, just image now you are sick and in the same house with your family and strange girl will be the one breaking the news of your being sick to your family, there is process to everything, is she trying to make it look I'm hiding something from my family, if she called my best friend, I got no problem with that, there was even a time I had issue with my mum, I was very angry and my mum begging me in tears said if I can give her my phone so she can call my girlfriend to talk to me, just get it I like due process. Even my mum had to take permission from me before calling her to calm me down

Alex, please do your wish, Biko. Seems you are the type that magnifies issues where there's none.

Or it's a matter of perspective. for me I'd appreciate it. If you don't, then let her be and look for the type that will bury you alone when you die. Secrets must be kept.

You need opinions but your mind is already made up.

budaatum:

My advise to you is dump her and find yourself a girlfriend who does not think like everyone else. There's some on here who don't think like everyone else who might be willing to replace her, though from what I'm seeing from the responses you are getting, they are mostly not women, so perhaps consider that maybe a boyfriend would suit you better.

What you don't get is that a good woman is rare, just because most responses defending me are coming from guys should give you a clue, women most times mislead themselves and at the end of the day you end up marrying a man, mothers of old teach respect, and I told you, I don't like this but all you generational women are supporting her, you break her home she gets on the line, no marriage has a formula no relationship is the same, you have to learn yours if you must love or marry me take out time to know me, don't come telling me because majority of women' think this way then you are right, I guess you can just go date my sister then, I brought you into the family, we been existing before you came respect that fact, they brought me up,

Mods, take this to Romance section. Has nothing to do with politics

AlexBells:

What you don't get

What is obvious is you are the one who gets it and at the same time you are the one opening a thread to ask if how you get it is how everyone else gets it and if we don't get it how you get it we don't get it, lol.

You have been given lots of views and opinions on here so please take the ones that get it the way you want it got and dump the rest, or her, if she too does not get it. The choice is entirely your's.

You did the right thing bro.
It also seams she doesn't know you too well, how long have you guys been together?

AlexBells:


I was not proposing a slap, I don't get physical just like that, I know she did that because she care but you know how stupid a woman in love can be, they are capable of doing anything just for love but at least some rationality matters even in love, that action to me was irrational, even if my family needs to know she should give me the respect if being the one to tell my family or inform me about her intentions first.

LadySarah:


Alex, please do your wish, Biko. Seems you are the type that magnifies issues where there's none.

Or it's a matter of perspective. for me I'd appreciate it. If you don't, then let her be and look for the type that will bury you alone when you die. Secrets must be kept.

You need opinions but your mind is already made up.

If there is non issue then it can't be magnified, how many men bellow 30 genuinely love a girl, I was not playing her, I gave her my family members number, introduced her to my mum, seriously this is not about me, I'm not trying to force my ways down everyone's throat but see every relationship has a code as for me, you dare not share something I discussed with you in privacy to anyone without my consent, yesterday it was my sister, tomorrow it could be your sister and then on it is your pastor, get that I'm not going to take that,

Twelfthman:
You did the right thing bro.
It also seams she doesn't know you too well, how long have you guys been together?

Then it was around a year

I see unnecessary arrogance all over your action.

You warned someone simply trying to watch over you?

You would have waited when she visits. Sit her down, thank her for caring for you and tell her not to involve your family for such cases in the future without your permission.

Again, did I hear you are hot tempered?

Please treat your temper problem and arrogance before you go into marriage if you really want to build a home. Thanks

SpecialAdviser:
I see unnecessary arrogance all over your action.

You warned someone simply trying to watch over you?

You would have waited when she visits. Sit her down, thank her for caring for you and tell her not to involve your family for such cases in the future without your permission.

Again, did I hear you are hot tempered?

Please treat your temper problem and arrogance before you go into marriage if you really want to build a home. Thanks

Not warned o. He scolded her like she's his two year old pikin which makes me wonder what we'd have told her if she was the one opening this thread here.

Please, if any of you here have daughters make sure you empower her so she ends up with a respectful man.