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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man (726 Views)
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The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by OscarJaden(m): 1:10pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
Yea! first person you should keep out of your marriage is your mother When my wife gave birth my mother came over to ogbomoso,she was to spend sometime with us After few this days she saw I was the one Cooking and she ask if it is okay for me to come and I said of course And subsequently, each and every time she needs something to be cooked for her, she would call my wife. I would respond and tell her I will get it done, and so I would do. All the while, I never knew she was displeased. I returned home one of the evenings, I was a Corper then. And I met my wife crying. I asked what happened. She said nothing. I asked her again and again. She kept saying nothing. I asked if anything was wrong with the baby. She said no. The baby was sleeping beside her. I became confused. It resorted that i started begging her to speak. Then she told me my mother had just finished speaking to her. She had told her only a shameless woman would allow her husband cook. I never heard the rest. She tried pulling me back but I was so infuriated. I called my mom. I told her she leaves first thing the following morning. She was shocked to her bone. She already knew my wife told me what she had said to her. She said my wife is lazy. I said I love it that way. I put a call through to my Dad. I explained to him what had happened. He called her to leave. Then he called my wife too. Mom didn’t wait for the next day. She left that same day. I told her to pass the night but she didn’t say anything again. She left. After that night, I didn’t see her, didn’t hear her voice for almost 2 years. I would call, she won’t pick. 2 Likes
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Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by Bhadmus77(m): 1:43pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
You better apologize to that woman! Your wife is precious to u but on no reason should u displease your mother over your wife ..espeCially supporting your wife in your mothers presence. You did not approach the matter with wisdom.. 1 Like |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by Gig92(m): 4:51pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
OscarJaden: ![]() ![]() Why don't you appear before your mother, apologize to her and explain yourself to her instead of calling her on phone? Yes you have the right to protect your family, but with your mother involved, you need wisdom. 1 Like |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by JovialJune(f): 6:04pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
You didn't apply wisdom in dealing with your mother here. 1 Like |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by crackhaus: 6:53pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
Was this story meant to be inspiring? 4 Likes |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by bukatyne(f): 10:03pm On Dec 13, 2020 |
Hahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha Sorry, I find this funny ![]() ![]() Did your dad ever cook for your mum? |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by cococandy(f): 2:21am On Dec 14, 2020 |
1) Mom should have respected her son’s family’s way of doing stuff. It’s the home of him and his wife and as long as they are both happy with their roles, she should have left well enough alone. If a woman is providing for her family and her mom comes in there to call the husband shameless, we sure would have a lot to say about evil women and their daughters. Why is it so difficult in this case? ![]() 2) I would be upset if my parent called my spouse shameless too. I want to think I can handle it more maturely but it’s easy to talk when it’s not you. But I don’t think he should have told his mom to leave. 3) What type of mom doesn’t pick up her child’s calls for two years? Over what? 4) I don’t think the man is utilizing his father’s influence enough in this case. Maybe he can mediate? Depending on how close he is to his wife. 6 Likes |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by cooooooks(m): 2:46am On Dec 14, 2020 |
Some people never let go of their view of their children as children. The man is an adult and causing unnecessary hypertension with his just delivered wife is a bit callous. The man needs to be calmer. One thing I learnt from my mom growing up is: don't act when you're angry. Calm down first before saying or doing anything. Frankly, the ladies I've had relationships with have called me cold because of this but I prefer this approach. The man should have calmed down and calmly told his mom he appreciates her concerns but has no problem. Even laugh off her concerns. |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by 1stKing: 10:40am On Dec 14, 2020 |
only a fool will keep out his family from a union. Don't ever fall for the feminine gimmicks of telling you to keep you parents out of your affairs. When everything goes south, they will be the first you will fall back to have you ever ask yourself why ladies despise mother in-laws? ask a woman this question and apply logic to understanding her answers 1 Like |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by ceeceeuwa: 3:38pm On Dec 14, 2020 |
1stKing:How will you feel if your wife's mother calls you shameless? The woman in question just put to birth, besides the mother Inlaw should be in a better position to help out with some chores. We women are our own problem! I still think the man wasn't diplomatic enough in handling the situation. 2 Likes |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by Nobody: 4:04pm On Dec 14, 2020 |
Let her be! Marriage is between husband and wife. No third party is allowed. Let her go to her husband's house and control things. Some mothers just want to rule everybody and still be in charge of their own home. Op, face your marriage. When she's tired, she'll pick your calls. No room for third party nonsense. 1 Like |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by NoToPile: 9:14pm On Dec 14, 2020 |
I saw screenshots of the post on a collegues status yesterday. OP you didn't post the full story- what of the part where they all went to visit the mum after the two years and he prostrated and the mum took all of them in and they all became one big family again, Anyway the point still is 3rd parties are not encouraged in marriages (mother, father, sister, uncle, aunty, friend whatever ) 3 Likes |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by area74: 12:19am On Dec 15, 2020 |
My sincere advice will go to those who are not yet married. Women are naturally gifted to be manipulative. First, they will like to keep the family of the man out of the picture but I can tell you that eventually, family of the wife will have free access to their home and enjoy the benefits from whatever the man has. It is their way. I have been there and I know how they act. Ask the question, if it was the wife's mother that scolded her, would she had acted in such a manipulative way to send her mother away from the house? The man lacked wisdom and obviously inexperienced to handle the situation like that. I am an advocate of third party staying away from marriages but women are never in accord to this because they usually involve their mothers in their marital life. To the man and other aspiring husbands, even if your mother does something that is obviously wrong, never you scold your mother in anger because of your wife especially in her presence. Remember how long your mother has been with you from your pregnancy to probably 30 years of age and still showing that care and love. Thread cautiously! The two women are precious to you and a mother's blessing goes a long way in the life of a child. 2 Likes |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by Nobody: 7:02am On Dec 15, 2020 |
no need to keep your mil out of your marriage but yes, this sorta mil may be problematic |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by Nobody: 7:04am On Dec 15, 2020 |
NoToPile:so it's not OP's personal story then and it was resolved, good. |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by FanOfMyself: 7:14am On Dec 15, 2020 |
Women are manipulative creatures! Op lacks wisdom |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by NoToPile: 9:17am On Dec 15, 2020 |
area74: I had to laugh out loud at the bolded, if you had to ask that question then you don't understand the dynamics of in-law and parental relationships. What a daughter will get away with a daughter in law would never get away with it. What a mother would say to his son and he would not take offence , if she says same to the sons wife kasala fit burst, the wife may not talk but she will keep it at heart and use it to react in the future, in fact her own mother will say the same exact words and she might not think twice about it, the husband might even be the one to vex on behalf of his wife. What a mother would say to her own daughter she cannot ( in a lot of cases) dare say it to her son in law. When people understand these things its easier. Ability to manage your mother, your wife and your family in general without issues is a hallmark of a man mature to get married. If you can manage them all successfully , you have less marital issues( at least the ones caused by external interference). 1 Like |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by area74: 9:43pm On Dec 15, 2020 |
NoToPile: Honestly, I will not expect a lesser reaction from you this response. I am a married man with some years of experience and I know what I am talking about. What's the point crying when her husband returned from work? And so what if the MIL scolded her? My advice still goes to the bachelors to be wary of women and be very intelligent when handling issues between your wife and your family. Otherwise, you will suddenly realize that you are isolated from your own family while the wife's family will have free access to your home. 1 Like |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by Rossntti: 9:49pm On Dec 15, 2020 |
Bhadmus77: You are talking 1000% RUBBISH. It is people like you that allow these so-called mothers to manipulate and abuse their adult offspring. OP, pay no mind to this man, please. You did the right thing. I can tell you for free that if you had NOT put a stop to this nonsense, it would get worse and worse from your mother. Guaranteed. I've been there. The only solution is to kick them out and KEEP them OUT. Place STRICT RULES on her. If she must visit, let it be for one day, MAX. If she wants to stay longer in your city, she can book into a hotel. It sounds mean, but trust me, it is the ONLY WAY to ensure your sanity and protect your wife. Many of these mothers are evil, and you don't fully realise it until you're married, independent, and living in your own place. That is when their manipulation and narcissism starts. She has already insulted your wife and called her a shameless person, abi? Let that be the last insult she ever extends to your wife. Google is your friend, as they say. Read and learn about the characteristics of Manipulators and Narcissists. You will find very close correlation between them and your mother. My own mother was like that, and I kicked her to the kerb, with now only very limited contact. Now my family life is stable, I am happier with less stress, and 'mother' knows her place. Do not make the mistake of feeling guilty for anything you do to protect your wife and your own sanity. Manipulators BANK on your feelings of duty, obligation, guilt, fear, etc. REMOVE those sentiments from your system, and they've nothing to use on you. It renders them powerless against you. |
Re: The First Person Should Keep Out Of Your Marriage Is Your Mother.. Nigerian Man by Rossntti: 10:01pm On Dec 15, 2020 |
area74: ABSOLUTE HORSE SHIT. This is pure emotional blackmail and guilt tripping. ''Oh she carried you for 9 months and was there for you for 30 years, so that gives her the right to cause marital mayhem in your life and insult your wife, and still get treated like a queen''. I SPIT ON THAT SHIT. |
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