Bro, forget heart and use your head..
Instead of investing in such woman, get those bikes and keke and give them out. You'll be getting delivery daily, weekly or monthly. How can you marry a woman who have it in mind to contribute NOTHING to the family, thats bullshit.. A real woman ain't gon' try that shit after investing in her..
Business bro, invest in BAE (Business And Entrepreneur).
Your decision is up to you though

Anoymus:

Thanks for your input bro. And as for the question you asked, she is trying, surprises me with gift once a while but I don't think she would be an enduring type when the chips are down. I have had instances where I spent 15k (drugs inclusive) to remove her troublesome decay tooth just 3 days after I gave her 4k to make her hair. She complained saying the 4k won't be enough for the style that she wants to make. Had to add 1500 before she happily hugged me and gave me a peck. Person wey I spend 15k to commot tooth 3 days after the hair incident. Thought she would be greatful and cut her cloth according to their cloth instead of nagging.. But according to her, she loves me very much and I do too

It’s your money and your status she loves not you. Know this and know peace.

I ask again other than slaving for an entitled being, what does a man “exclusively” benefit from relationship that he can’t when single.

Lordseyad:



But your eyes are fixed on his own money

There's a reason he ask such questions...

There are many bridges to cross before marriage. This is one of the bridge. A wife should be able to assist her husband when it's necessary.

Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

All these caliber of girls eh..... Tomorrow if una nor see husband marry, una go blame village witches and wizards way dey on their own! You are a very selfish thing! I do hope your present boyfriend dodge a bullet like YOU! that's if you even have anyone who is even interested in a parasite like you!

stacyadams:



Shebi na for this nairaland, I read story of one man wey go burn him wife shop as she no d contribute anything for house.


I support OP from now till Jesus come

I support the guy 100% too men are not atm machines

I think she's right

It's a man's responsibility to cater for the family

The woman will support but you must not make it mandatory.

Even if she's taking 90% of the bills, it's still your responsibility as a man

lanre9ja:
She's right, u are the man, she can only help when it necessary

so what's the purpose of getting her a shop? Then she should sit her ass down in the home. It is as if the man is asking her to take all the burden. Just small burden, she nor fit..

Sounds like you two can be great business partners, but not a couple.

However, maybe she'll change her mind when she has kids. But I wouldn't bet on it.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to...

Ogbeni OP (Mr Anoymus), please go ahead and marry her jare if that is the major hindrance to the proposal. Abi u no know sey dem no too dey reason woman matter?

You should even be glad she is the honest type. That alone is a "goal" for marriage. Trust me, it is better for you to enter marriage with the mindset of footing major bills. It is one of the important things that would give you a strong voice (authority) in your home.

Don't disturb yourself on whether she will contribute or not. She will certainly contribute once you have established your voice as an authority in your home as described above.

In fact, you'll be so surprised that the same person that told you that would even do more when your authority in your home is obvious. Abi no b woman again? But ensure you don't ever allow her to contribute on the "major" in your home no matter how prosperous the business you are establishing for her or other endeavours of hers turn out to be. I'm so busy right now and can't explain why but I hope you don't discard that statement.

Meanwhile, your lady is obviously the hard-working type, working hard with her brain and hands rather than with what is in between her legs. That is another "goal" for marriage. That alone can help you ensure that bad friends (assuming she's got such) won't lure her into "Oloshoism".

Please marry that lady if there is no other major issue, and keep your mum's words close to your heart. In fact, for your mum to have supported her, rather than fighting her before getting into your lineage (as it is the default with most mothers), then you are really good-to-go on the marriage proposal.

All the best.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

lekki1444:
some men because of their karmic debt are put down on this planet to work in affliction taking care of their wives. its like a punishment. I can check if you fall into that category by looking at your star alignment. what is your date of birth and what is hers ? so i can look at both of your star alignments

Hahahahahaha!

Franktom247:



dundee united,mr mumu,eleribu it still doesnt change the fact that the money will nt buy 4 bikes or 2 keke as at now dey your dey

one keke is sold for around 650-700k depending on the types
Tvs is sold for 650-670k
Plagio is sold for 700-730k
Bajaj is sold for 670-700k

Honda ace motorcycle is sold for 250k
Honda ace with hand kick and alloy rim is sold for 270-280k

Bajaj Boxer is sold for 240-250k
Boxer with 5 gear and hand kick is sold for 370k

Daylong alloy rim sells around 280-300k

So mr know all even if op want to buy plagio keke which is the best,he will still buy 2

If he want to buy honda ace motorcycle which my peeps use where i reside,he will still buy 4 and collect change.So what is your point?

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

I hate meddling into affairs like this but something in me feels like I have to contribute.
My brother, in marriage what you actually marry is the reasoning of the opposite gender not her skin, beauty, sex style or other nonsense you people like nowadays. You marry the mindset that compliments yours. The one that has what you lack. In few years all the other nonsense will fade but her mindset grows. That is if she is a feminist, the feminism turns to androphobia and the rest.
What you are playing with is real fire. A girl that cares about you won't say such nonsense. She has made it clear that she is not in for the building of the family but as a guest that can leave if things go south.
Now imagine in worst cases when business aren't makkossa as usual and you want to seek help from her, what her response would be. She will tell you that she made it clear that your job is to provide and not hers. After which she will nag the living daylight out of you by telling you how you failed in your sole responsibility. That you had one job and you messed it up.
How do you think that those pity looking men we meet in bars that drink themselves to stupor everyday come to be? Those are the men that made the same mistake you are about to make. They ignore the Golden sign their guardian angel presented to them on the eve of their relationship. This is a sign my brother. You can join the bandwagon of bitter men if you ignore this.

First of all, brother, i think your brain and your heart are both in the right place. You're a good a kind person that has the welfare of his "future" family at heart.

Now, i know a lot of do-gooders are going to come to this thread to support that chick that hopes leave all the family expenses to you while "helping" when she can, but alaye, i am telling you now that you are right, VERY RIGHT INFACT.

If she isn't ready to sit down with you and outline the financial responsibilities of each person, then, you have no business investing in her business. Saying she'll "help when she can" makes it sound like she's doing you a favour.

No go loseguard o. Succumbing to the pressure from her, your parents, and her parents is part of the reason men typically die faster than women. If you don't fix this now, you'll overwork, overthink, overspend, and overstretch your resources while she kicks back and keeps telling all her friends that "my husband dey try sha. He's a great provider".

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

This is Africa & not Europe/America

It's man responsibility to provide for the family but that doesn't stop woman from helping their husband when the need arises

The truth is, you can't share financial responsibilities for the family with your wife

If you are expecting something in return for investing in her, I suggest you reduce the amount of investment & put the money on something else that will brings you return & that way you won't be dissapointed

@Anoymus

You are thinking right, your wife is also thinking right..

It's all about perception.

See your new family as an enterprise and your wife as a senior manager and you the executive.

That her fashion business should be a family business, she will be the technical director while you will still be the CEO.

Let her keep her salary or renumeration, while you lead the business.

Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

One of the Possible reasons you are still unmarried, eyes fixed on your money you say??
Who owns you and the money in the first place if not your husband
So you would want the man to help you out in your womanly duties at home but when it comes to money it is wholly yours abi
Yall need mad counseling or something abeg
Marriage is a bit more complicated than you see it my dear, I been there..
Its a union, a partnership... No self entitlement on this course.
Think and act or you join the feminist folks.

If you do not have the capacity, you don't have to do what will compromise your ability to exclusively provide for the family. You're ultimately responsible for how your finances turn out & that may also determine how stable your home will be. Meanwhile it's not advisable to expect too much quick returns from any investment. Sustainable businesses are driven first by passion to build, and not necessarily to make quick returns.

Lol.
That's how she has been trained.
Hope her mom is not a single mother?
It doesn't matter sha. It's just talk. If she loves you, she will support you when the time comes.. It's just talk.

For me, business is business, and family is family.

I will fully take care of my responsibility as the man. On the aspect of investing in her business, I will treat it as an investment. We'll both agree on the returns on my investment. If she can't agree to the investment model, she should go and source for funds for her elsewhere. There's no familiarity in business!

Anoymus:
wow!

or when the money is no longer there. My uncle is facing something like this, he’s regretting ever getting married.

Bola146:
No matter how little, a responsible wife must support her husband and home!!! No matter how rich or poor the husband is! So that the blessings will be coming back to both of them. The man might go broke, his wife should be there to raise him up.

thank u my sister , but not in a situation where the man want to share responsibility with the wife , it doesn't make sense to share responsibility with your wife . If you are earning monthly salary and you budgeted money for monthly feeding , if the money finishes before the end on the month, your wife can take it up from there , if your children need some expensis in school and you are not around , your wife don't need to wait for you before footing the bills . For example you lost your job , your wife can sustain the family with her money till you find a new job . That is what she mean by supporting you , not spliting bills at home . What if she split home chores with you?

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Bro don't go ahead with that female. A person that cares about you would want to ease your burden no matter how little. Your parents won't join you to suffer whatever comes out if you go ahead. The girl probably sees you as a cash cow and her own beta male provider.

Zzor:
Is he marrying her for gains, why have are you men becoming leeches smh

Is she too marrying him for gain? Why are you women becoming leeches?

BRO LET ME TELL YOU THE BOLD BITTER TRUTH.... GETTING MARRIED TO SUCH A LADY WHO FLOWS WITH THAT MENTALITY WILL ONLY MAKE YOU GOING BACK DAY BY DAY.... AND LIABLE TO DIE B4 UR APPOINTED TIME... THAT MENTALITY STINKS!...

thatNigerian:
First of all, brother, i think your brain and your heart are both in the right place. You're a good a kind person that has the welfare of his "future" family at heart.

Now, i know a lot of do-gooders are going to come to this thread to support that chick that hopes leave all the family expenses to you while "helping" when she can, but alaye, i am telling you now that you are right, VERY RIGHT INFACT.

If she isn't ready to sit down with you and outline the financial responsibilities of each person, then, you have no business investing in her business. Saying she'll "help when she can" makes it sound like she's doing you a favour.

No go loseguard o. Succumbing to the pressure from her, your parents, and her parents is part of the reason men typically die faster than women. If you don't fix this now, you'll overwork, overthink, overspend, and overstretch your resources while she kicks back and keeps telling all her friends that "my husband dey try sha. He's a great provider".

Bless you bro.

bukatyne:


Hahahahahaha!

its true ooo. the woman is a mirror of your karmic debt and in affliction will you clear the debt by catering to all her needs.

Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

....and where are you today if I may ask?

If a wife with no disabilities doesn’t deem it fit to be supportive in her HOME with HER husband then she deserves no home. It may sound blunt but it’s the truth.
Husbands are not machines. They go through hard times and count on the support of their wives at times.

Women that don’t wanna support their husband would prefer buying bone straight to helping out in any way at home.

Be wise. The home is not of the husband alone but both husband and wife.

Kazim88:
@Anoymus

You are thinking right, your wife is also thinking right..

It's all about perception.

See your new family as an enterprise and your wife as a senior manager and you the executive.

That her fashion business should be a family business, she will be the technical director while you will still be the CEO.

Let her keep her salary or renumeration, while you lead the business.

She may never agree to this. She may want to be in full control of the business.

Does she have young, upcoming, financially struggling support or family members?

The above may be her first line plan, to support them till they are stable.

What i will advise, if you plan on giving her 1m, give her 300k and let her grow/nurture the investment. Don't give her all the money at once.

As for marriage, please marry her. She can fend for herself. Believe me, lots of girls will prefer staying at home once their husband is financially okay.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

your parents and her parents are trying to keep things cool via they've obviously sensed the little panic in you.

but the real truth is that it is wrong and bad that you invest such money on your wife and nothing comes out of it.

you either do another round of talks with her and make her understand why you want her to be financially responsible in the marriage or monitor the buisiness you will be opening for her. else the buisiness can even crumble since she has no responsibilities and worse is the fact that if you start this way it will hardly change later.