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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? (44564 Views)
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Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Vyiecyie: 8:52am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Bro, forget heart and use your head.. Instead of investing in such woman, get those bikes and keke and give them out. You'll be getting delivery daily, weekly or monthly. How can you marry a woman who have it in mind to contribute NOTHING to the family, thats bullshit.. A real woman ain't gon' try that shit after investing in her.. Business bro, invest in BAE (Business And Entrepreneur). Your decision is up to you though 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Nobody: 8:53am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:It’s your money and your status she loves not you. Know this and know peace. I ask again other than slaving for an entitled being, what does a man “exclusively” benefit from relationship that he can’t when single. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by kevotek1000(m): 8:53am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Lordseyad: There's a reason he ask such questions... |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by aprilwise(m): 8:53am On Dec 17, 2020 |
There are many bridges to cross before marriage. This is one of the bridge. A wife should be able to assist her husband when it's necessary. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Armanipounds: 8:53am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Zzor: All these caliber of girls eh..... Tomorrow if una nor see husband marry, una go blame village witches and wizards way dey on their own! You are a very selfish thing! I do hope your present boyfriend dodge a bullet like YOU! that's if you even have anyone who is even interested in a parasite like you! |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by hashtagged(m): 8:54am On Dec 17, 2020 |
stacyadams: I support the guy 100% too men are not atm machines 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by jauntty: 8:55am On Dec 17, 2020 |
I think she's right It's a man's responsibility to cater for the family The woman will support but you must not make it mandatory. Even if she's taking 90% of the bills, it's still your responsibility as a man 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by lymelyte(m): 8:55am On Dec 17, 2020 |
lanre9ja:so what's the purpose of getting her a shop? Then she should sit her ass down in the home. It is as if the man is asking her to take all the burden. Just small burden, she nor fit.. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Cousin9999: 8:55am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Sounds like you two can be great business partners, but not a couple. However, maybe she'll change her mind when she has kids. But I wouldn't bet on it. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Nobody: 8:56am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus: Ogbeni OP (Mr Anoymus), please go ahead and marry her jare if that is the major hindrance to the proposal. Abi u no know sey dem no too dey reason woman matter? ![]() You should even be glad she is the honest type. That alone is a "goal" for marriage. Trust me, it is better for you to enter marriage with the mindset of footing major bills. It is one of the important things that would give you a strong voice (authority) in your home. Don't disturb yourself on whether she will contribute or not. She will certainly contribute once you have established your voice as an authority in your home as described above. In fact, you'll be so surprised that the same person that told you that would even do more when your authority in your home is obvious. Abi no b woman again? But ensure you don't ever allow her to contribute on the "major" in your home no matter how prosperous the business you are establishing for her or other endeavours of hers turn out to be. I'm so busy right now and can't explain why but I hope you don't discard that statement. Meanwhile, your lady is obviously the hard-working type, working hard with her brain and hands rather than with what is in between her legs. That is another "goal" for marriage. That alone can help you ensure that bad friends (assuming she's got such) won't lure her into "Oloshoism". Please marry that lady if there is no other major issue, and keep your mum's words close to your heart. In fact, for your mum to have supported her, rather than fighting her before getting into your lineage (as it is the default with most mothers), then you are really good-to-go on the marriage proposal. All the best. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by slivertongue: 8:56am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus: I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by bukatyne(f): 8:56am On Dec 17, 2020 |
lekki1444: Hahahahahaha! |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Topmaike007(m): 8:56am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Franktom247:one keke is sold for around 650-700k depending on the types Tvs is sold for 650-670k Plagio is sold for 700-730k Bajaj is sold for 670-700k Honda ace motorcycle is sold for 250k Honda ace with hand kick and alloy rim is sold for 270-280k Bajaj Boxer is sold for 240-250k Boxer with 5 gear and hand kick is sold for 370k Daylong alloy rim sells around 280-300k So mr know all even if op want to buy plagio keke which is the best,he will still buy 2 If he want to buy honda ace motorcycle which my peeps use where i reside,he will still buy 4 and collect change.So what is your point? 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Bkayyy: 8:58am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:I hate meddling into affairs like this but something in me feels like I have to contribute. My brother, in marriage what you actually marry is the reasoning of the opposite gender not her skin, beauty, sex style or other nonsense you people like nowadays. You marry the mindset that compliments yours. The one that has what you lack. In few years all the other nonsense will fade but her mindset grows. That is if she is a feminist, the feminism turns to androphobia and the rest. What you are playing with is real fire. A girl that cares about you won't say such nonsense. She has made it clear that she is not in for the building of the family but as a guest that can leave if things go south. Now imagine in worst cases when business aren't makkossa as usual and you want to seek help from her, what her response would be. She will tell you that she made it clear that your job is to provide and not hers. After which she will nag the living daylight out of you by telling you how you failed in your sole responsibility. That you had one job and you messed it up. How do you think that those pity looking men we meet in bars that drink themselves to stupor everyday come to be? Those are the men that made the same mistake you are about to make. They ignore the Golden sign their guardian angel presented to them on the eve of their relationship. This is a sign my brother. You can join the bandwagon of bitter men if you ignore this. 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by thatNigerian: 8:58am On Dec 17, 2020 |
First of all, brother, i think your brain and your heart are both in the right place. You're a good a kind person that has the welfare of his "future" family at heart. Now, i know a lot of do-gooders are going to come to this thread to support that chick that hopes leave all the family expenses to you while "helping" when she can, but alaye, i am telling you now that you are right, VERY RIGHT INFACT. If she isn't ready to sit down with you and outline the financial responsibilities of each person, then, you have no business investing in her business. Saying she'll "help when she can" makes it sound like she's doing you a favour. No go loseguard o. Succumbing to the pressure from her, your parents, and her parents is part of the reason men typically die faster than women. If you don't fix this now, you'll overwork, overthink, overspend, and overstretch your resources while she kicks back and keeps telling all her friends that "my husband dey try sha. He's a great provider". 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by yesloaded: 8:58am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus: This is Africa & not Europe/America It's man responsibility to provide for the family but that doesn't stop woman from helping their husband when the need arises The truth is, you can't share financial responsibilities for the family with your wife If you are expecting something in return for investing in her, I suggest you reduce the amount of investment & put the money on something else that will brings you return & that way you won't be dissapointed 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Kazim88: 8:58am On Dec 17, 2020 |
@Anoymus You are thinking right, your wife is also thinking right.. It's all about perception. See your new family as an enterprise and your wife as a senior manager and you the executive. That her fashion business should be a family business, she will be the technical director while you will still be the CEO. Let her keep her salary or renumeration, while you lead the business. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Dbeautifulme(f): 8:58am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Zzor: One of the Possible reasons you are still unmarried, eyes fixed on your money you say?? Who owns you and the money in the first place if not your husband ![]() So you would want the man to help you out in your womanly duties at home but when it comes to money it is wholly yours abi ![]() Yall need mad counseling or something abeg Marriage is a bit more complicated than you see it my dear, I been there.. Its a union, a partnership... No self entitlement on this course. Think and act or you join the feminist folks. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by janvier27(m): 8:58am On Dec 17, 2020 |
If you do not have the capacity, you don't have to do what will compromise your ability to exclusively provide for the family. You're ultimately responsible for how your finances turn out & that may also determine how stable your home will be. Meanwhile it's not advisable to expect too much quick returns from any investment. Sustainable businesses are driven first by passion to build, and not necessarily to make quick returns. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by TemmyT002(m): 8:59am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Lol. That's how she has been trained. Hope her mom is not a single mother? It doesn't matter sha. It's just talk. If she loves you, she will support you when the time comes.. It's just talk. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by studentofTruth: 8:59am On Dec 17, 2020 |
For me, business is business, and family is family. I will fully take care of my responsibility as the man. On the aspect of investing in her business, I will treat it as an investment. We'll both agree on the returns on my investment. If she can't agree to the investment model, she should go and source for funds for her elsewhere. There's no familiarity in business! 5 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by JayReeMai(m): 8:59am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:or when the money is no longer there. My uncle is facing something like this, he’s regretting ever getting married. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by EM123: 8:59am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Bola146:thank u my sister , but not in a situation where the man want to share responsibility with the wife , it doesn't make sense to share responsibility with your wife . If you are earning monthly salary and you budgeted money for monthly feeding , if the money finishes before the end on the month, your wife can take it up from there , if your children need some expensis in school and you are not around , your wife don't need to wait for you before footing the bills . For example you lost your job , your wife can sustain the family with her money till you find a new job . That is what she mean by supporting you , not spliting bills at home . What if she split home chores with you? 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Daewang: 8:59am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus: Bro don't go ahead with that female. A person that cares about you would want to ease your burden no matter how little. Your parents won't join you to suffer whatever comes out if you go ahead. The girl probably sees you as a cash cow and her own beta male provider. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by freeborn02: 8:59am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Zzor: Is she too marrying him for gain? Why are you women becoming leeches? ![]() |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by KcAngel(m): 9:00am On Dec 17, 2020 |
BRO LET ME TELL YOU THE BOLD BITTER TRUTH.... GETTING MARRIED TO SUCH A LADY WHO FLOWS WITH THAT MENTALITY WILL ONLY MAKE YOU GOING BACK DAY BY DAY.... AND LIABLE TO DIE B4 UR APPOINTED TIME... THAT MENTALITY STINKS!... 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Dbeautifulme(f): 9:00am On Dec 17, 2020 |
thatNigerian: Bless you bro. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by lekki1444: 9:01am On Dec 17, 2020 |
bukatyne:its true ooo. the woman is a mirror of your karmic debt and in affliction will you clear the debt by catering to all her needs. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Vicyace: 9:01am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Zzor: ....and where are you today if I may ask? If a wife with no disabilities doesn’t deem it fit to be supportive in her HOME with HER husband then she deserves no home. It may sound blunt but it’s the truth. Husbands are not machines. They go through hard times and count on the support of their wives at times. Women that don’t wanna support their husband would prefer buying bone straight to helping out in any way at home. Be wise. The home is not of the husband alone but both husband and wife. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by studentofTruth: 9:02am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Kazim88: She may never agree to this. She may want to be in full control of the business. |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by Montaque(m): 9:02am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Does she have young, upcoming, financially struggling support or family members? The above may be her first line plan, to support them till they are stable. What i will advise, if you plan on giving her 1m, give her 300k and let her grow/nurture the investment. Don't give her all the money at once. As for marriage, please marry her. She can fend for herself. Believe me, lots of girls will prefer staying at home once their husband is financially okay. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her With This Her Mindset? by henrixx(m): 9:03am On Dec 17, 2020 |
Anoymus:your parents and her parents are trying to keep things cool via they've obviously sensed the little panic in you. but the real truth is that it is wrong and bad that you invest such money on your wife and nothing comes out of it. you either do another round of talks with her and make her understand why you want her to be financially responsible in the marriage or monitor the buisiness you will be opening for her. else the buisiness can even crumble since she has no responsibilities and worse is the fact that if you start this way it will hardly change later. |
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