Are you the one managing your father's property? If yes, you have to be billed higher than others. If no, the first son or the person managing his property should be billed higher. More so, if you are the one that is more financially buoyant, you can take up the challenge or politely let them know the situation of things.

soulstalker:
exactly my thoughts o.. Am only in possession of his houses and lands. I gave them his accounts detail to share btw d family, that was some months after he died.

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You called houses & lands only.. as a 7th born, you held on to that abi... Mr greed. out of the houses & lands.. how many u don give ur elder ones, and you expect them to ask for 150k also.
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Oga, treat that greed.

Sirwifi:
Bro , you greedy ohh, from the available information you provided its obvious you're a selfish man , your type dey diabolical for family, how you go be 7th child and dey manage or inherited property solely but won't pay for the full cost of the party sef, you even lucky them wan help you, tell yourself the truth if na you be them , how you go take am ?
Unless you provide contrary information from above
I stand by my statement oga
Pay the full money , 500k small

Very selfish human being judging from his own admission, who knows he might have manipulated their late father while he was alive...some people get mind sha..

Guy, you alone inherited your late father despite him having other children. How did you do it?
However, you did it, pls use the same way and inherit the cost of his demise. Your siblings have been quite graceful to you by contributing N150k each. I'm sure they did so because of the love they have for their father, despite his favouritism and nepotism.
It seems you are a major source of divisiveness in your family. You have even started insinuating hatred. If your mind cant question why only you should inherit your father, but can question why you should contribute the lion share in the expenses for his memorial service, then you are a greedy bigot. Tell yourself the truth and act right always. If you cant raise the money, give what you can with a nice and solid explanation. Dont call them haters.

Truth needed to be said:
It is a year now that you put somebody under earth.
Hot, warm, cold or hash weather, he is there and will continue to be there without you knowing what he is currently facing.

This money that family want to squander (sorry, it is your money though), why can't you gather this money together and empower few youths in your area like those who just left apprenticeship training but lack funds to establish?

This is the time for WAEC/SSCE registration, paying WAEC fees of between 5 to 10 students will be rewardable for your father in his grave.

On the other hand, you can all contribute this money together and establish a small scale industry for your family.

I heard that COCA-COLA was established by a family.

BaddieFreak:


Wait and hear what your family head has to say. Whatever your family head says will let you know the next step. I am sure your family head will be considerate

When you say "family head", do you mean the first son of the family

soulstalker:
every other child is billed 150k, but mine is 500k. I think they are trying to pass a message

If you are the only one gaining from your father property then yes I agree with you been billed higher .... why should the 7th child be given more inheritance

It not their fault you were scammed...... they might think it's just an excuse. Why didnt you do due diligence well to avoid been scammed

0taPiaPia:


But I am thinking, were is it written that a party must be thrown for the dead years after. There are things that just don't bother me in this life and I can't be dragged into it by anyone irrespective of age.

It is not written anywhere. People do it when they feel they can afford it as a family. In the Op's case, I'm sure the family thinks they are able and capable. Going by Op's assertion, he said some of his siblings are doing okay than him. But then, they think he should pay more because he's in charge of their father's money.
Trust me, even you. If you have the money, you'll remember your parents when they die, provided it's tradition where you come from

Limitless72:





When you say "family head", do you mean the first son of the family

No, the eldest man in the extended family

Actually you being the last born shouldn't be in charge of your fathers property, there are some bullet not worth taking. You should have advised your Dad to give it to whom it is due and ask him to bless you instead, especially if you are from a polygamous setting which i suspect it is. Some of our parents judgement are seriously impaired especially in a polygamous setting where they tend to create problem after death for someone like you who rightfully does not deserve to hold such scepter. In not too distant time expect more of this, the remembrance will likely be persistent, I pray God help you since you may find it difficult to do what I would have advised you do to ward off such scenario and unnecessary interference.

Admols:
Truth needed to be said:
It is a year now that you put somebody under earth.
Hot, warm, cold or hash weather, he is there and will continue to be there without you knowing what he is currently facing.

This money that family want to squander (sorry, it is your money though), why can't you gather this money together and empower few youths in your area like those who just left apprenticeship training but lack funds to establish?

This is the time for WAEC/SSCE registration, paying WAEC fees of between 5 to 10 students will be rewardable for your father in his grave.

On the other hand, you can all contribute this money together and establish a small scale industry for your family.

I heard that COCA-COLA was established by a family.

Lmao. When you hear Yoruba and party are like 5/6 you think say na joke? Most times, Yoruba will do party first before thinking of how to pah his child's school fees, you are talking of paying for others waec money. I laugh

soulstalker:
exactly my thoughts o.. Am only in possession of his houses and lands. I gave them his accounts detail to share btw d family, that was some months after he died.

How are you managing the houses and lands? Do you collect rents on them? If yes how is the rents collected managed?

You are from which tribe before I begin to common on another man's culture.

How is it that as the 7th son, you have unrivalled access to your late dad's properties?

well you are in charge of your father's estate so they feel you have money and probably dipping your hands into your old man's wealth...you have to explain to them in clear terms what the exact situation is, otherwise they will keep tasking you with bigger amounts in future...again be careful how you tackle this issue they may be seeking for an opportunity to set you up and start different kind of attack...nothing makes "family people/village people" attack someone more like having access to the wealth of a diseased family member and not sharing...they will soon accuse you of keeping your late father's wealth to yourself...watch it bro.....God bless you and keep you safe and eternal rest in peace to your departed Dad....God bless the dead

soulstalker:
every other child is billed 150k, but mine is 500k. I think they are trying to pass a message

definitely they are sending a message.
why would you alone have access to old man properties??
and 6 people dey above you?

I don't know why you alone have access o, but I'll advise, if you love peace and respect your family, you better share that property evenly with everyone.

soulstalker:
I have done that, infact I have a meeting with olori ebi(family head) today. but yet my step siblings insist I must pay the money. though am planning to contribute 250k, if they can't take it then everyone should do their thing separately. btw, amen for the prayer..

first of, share your father’s properties with your siblings, secondly give what you have, don’t be pressured into making financial decisions that have serious implications on you

This is just the beginning.

Some parents are the roots of the problems in their families.

Why would you hand over all properties to one child and ask the rest to share money in bank accounts?

Your father planted a seed and is not around to watch it grow. And it will grow, believe me.

Are you still wondering why some of your elders who are better off than you still chose to bill you 500k? Keep wondering.

Anyway, I spend what I can afford to spend and nothing more. They will not be there when I’m trying to recover after spending so much.

Chanchit:


It is not written anywhere. People do it when they feel they can afford it as a family. In the Op's case, I'm sure the family thinks they are able and capable. Going by Op's assertion, he said some of his siblings are doing okay than him. But then, they think he should pay more because he's in charge of their father's money.
Trust me, even you. If you have the money, you'll remember your parents when they die, provided it's tradition where you come from

Haven't come across that in my community.

Those who scammed you have a link with your siblings that by the side.the 500k for remembrance,do you people want wake the Deadman? Tell you don't have give them what you can afford ..if na 20k..

KnightsTemplar:
You are the 7th child and only you have access to your late dad's accets, Omo . To your question the Max you should give them is 70k, which is subjective going by the fact say na you hold yam and knife, for your late father's accets.

@op key into this advise... Give em between 50k - 70k... Nor reason wetin any of em think o...

Ur family na polygamy?

The real thing to do here is to get valuers to value your fathers properties, and have it all shared equally between you and your siblings.
EQUALLY!!!
Then you take your share and hustle for your own money. Until then, the family will continue to habor resentment towards you.

Okay

soulstalker:
every other child is billed 150k, but mine is 500k. I think they are trying to pass a message

who else benefits from ur dad's Estate?

Young man (you seem to be, going by the age of the son cited in your post, if not, my apologies, no offence) do not let them kill you untimely. It could be a trap, your old man is dead, your closeness to him while alive, is now, immaterial and irrelevant to them. If I were you, if you can afford the 500k, drop it and find a way to remain peripheral during the remembrance activities (that is, if you must be physically present), otherwise, drop what you can afford, even the 150k billed everyone (that should signify your wanting equal treatment as the other siblings) and avoid the talk as much as possible, about being the closest to the deceased (a lot of family members may covertly hate that fact, if you disagree, remember Joseph was despised by his brothers, ever before he dreamed)

You portray someone who has a bright path ahead of you, things like this, may hinder your perception of it, and as such those around you can see it and more often than not, will seek any minute reason to obliterate it. Pray and be guided #BeYeGentleAsSheepYetWiseAsASerpent

Yoruba and celebrations. I once passed by one elaborate yoruba Owambe party, and when I asked what they were celebrating, they said their dog Ajanla just gave birth to 8 beautiful puppies. Na so I wake pass

soulstalker:
Good morning romancelanders, this is not right section, but i need more opinions about this thread.

December 27th will complete one year in which my dad was buried, and according to friends and family, i was told we should have a remembrance party in his memory.

I am the 7th born in the family, but the closest to my dad before his demise(none of the kids have access to his properties except me).

Now the families are tasking me big, i mean a whole 500k from me alone for the remembrance party(despite the fact they know my financial state, which i was scammed a huge sum of money months ago and i also just ventured into some business, and the registration for my 2yrs old son school by january). So my question is, why are they planning so much for the remembrance? Why did they bill me that much? Or are they possibly passing a message to me because of my dad's properties? But fact is me i don't have such amount of money on me talkless of contributing that amount? Pls ur sincere advise is needed..

There is a say my friend used to say,
No be first born kill papa, so the burial thing na everybody for house...

Bro this is rememberance day for your late dad , he is gone am deeply sorry for that. everyone in the family should contribute equal. just as you said you are the one who hold everything your dad left and you are the 7th child , I just hope they don't wanna start embezzling your late dad's inheritance he left behind.


Just be careful sha cos family can kill because of that oo, and they feel you are using everything with your family.

soulstalker:
exactly my thoughts o.. Am only in possession of his houses and lands. I gave them his accounts detail to share btw d family, that was some months after he died.

You're calling all of these things only. Nawa oh.
Your siblings probably feel like you got the lion share of his estate and if this is the case, then it is expected that you should contribute more.

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150k X 6 = 900k

900k + 500k = 1.4 million


Which kind remembrance you wan use 1.4m do?

All the people in your family need to be flogged back to reality of this century.


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Ever heard of the words "Silent treatment"?
Just say nothing and do nothing!
Heavens have never fallen, and it isn't about to fall in your case.
What shameless profligacy!
Maybe if you had offered only juice and water at your Dad's burial, no one would have had the guts to think up this party in the first place.
Someone actually served only water at his dad's funeral. When asked why, he answered " I cannot loose my dad and my money at the same time".
Sounds hilarious but sensible and true.
Bottom line, any money your parents didn't enjoy from your hands while they were alive is hogwash and utterly useless to them at their demise.

michlins:
always very blunt with your response and fortunately, they're top notch advice

Who does the remembrance party benefit?.....

He/they can simply go to his father's tombstone, say a prayer or 2........

How many birthdays did you guys arrange for him while he was alive? What are you guys celebrating his remembrance for? He is dead and I hope he had a happy life.

Remembrance no de end. If you people can’t afford it now you can do it next year or in ten years time. I don’t see any point to this.

If it must be done let the people who brought up the suggestion work with what they can afford. Or you all contribute what you can conveniently afford and work with that.