It is a known fact that almost every Nigerian's dream is to leave the shores of the country for economic reasons owing to the better job opportunities abroad. Majority of Africans who eventually travel to chase money abroad are men (either for white collar jobs or just hustling/menial jobs). After a few years, these men become more stable over there and decide it's time to get married, this is where the trouble starts.

It is usually a dilemma in choosing a foreign wife abroad OR coming back to Africa to choose a wife. Most men tend to believe the African wife will be more humble but recent happenings dispute this. We have discovered that the laws abroad will always favour a woman above a man, this gets worse if you're a black man. In fact, a peice of furniture or a cat will win a court case over a black man anyday especially when an allegation of abuse is made, know this and know peace!! It's quite sad that when our women go there, they use these laws against their husband who toiled for years to bring them over, they threaten with divorce, false allegations of abuse and molestation and render these men homeless after many years, some get all their assets split, their children are taken away by the woman, some even end up jailed. Some men end up killing their wives in anger and frustration, it is a sad scenario that keeps playing over and over again.

My advice to Nigerian men, don't make the mistake of getting married to an African woman abroad. If you really want a woman to live with you and raise kids, make sure you bring her over as an independent person, she can live with you, have kids but there's no signed documents that you're married over there. You both can even get married in Nigeria here but travel as independent people. Don't ever fall for your emotions or her words to do otherwise because she will change when she reaches there over the years, they all do. If you go as a married couple, all you have worked for in your life can be snatched away from you anytime. BE SMART!!

hmmm

OP, I am still trying to figure out your message here.

It has been proven time and again that western countries isn't designed for African women. With happenings and news coming from that part of the world has always confirmed it without any contradiction.

If you want to marry abroad as an African man, you better marry a foreigner, or take an African woman there as a baby mama ,that's how to have peace from this wicked women. If you dare sign a marriage oath and document with an African woman there, you are doomed.

This is one area I choose to be proud of been an African. What a useless law those westerners practice.

OP, are you writing from personal experience?

Well same way the law favours men in Nigeria.
A Nigerian man can cheat on his wife, the society will want the woman to stay and they claim " husband house is house for learning" blah blah blah.

Our society wants woman to be obedient,worship her husband no matter what because they believe husband is the head of the house.

If a woman decides to leave an abusive marriage the society will blame her saying she can't keep a home nd calling her all sort of names.

It still baffles me who still searches for Nigerian horseband in diaspora when you when we all know most usually feel entitled simply because they take you out of Nigeria,some will even want you to go for medical school so you can work as a nurse nd take care of the house while they rely on hardworking wife who is a nurse abroad.

The world is changing,you can't bring someone to a foreign country nd expect this person to have the same mentality she was having, foreign countries respect women unlike Nigeria! So if you want someone you can control go for women there which i know they won't accept any of the things you take for granted in Nigeria!

Petyprincess:
Well same way the law favours men in Nigeria.
A Nigerian man can cheat on his wife, the society will want the woman to stay and they claim " husband house is house for learning" blah blah blah.

Our society wants woman to be obedient,worship her husband no matter what because they believe husband is the head of the house.

If a woman decides to leave an abusive marriage the society will blame her saying she can't keep a home nd calling her all sort of names.

It still baffles me who still searches for Nigerian horseband in diaspora when you when we all know most usually feel entitled simply because they take you out of Nigeria,some will even want you to go for medical school so you can work as a nurse nd take care of the house while they rely on hardworking wife who is a nurse abroad.

The world is changing,you can't bring someone to a foreign country nd expect this person to have the same mentality she was having, foreign countries respect women unlike Nigeria! So if you want someone you can control go for women there which i know they won't accept any of the things you take for granted in Nigeria!

Sis please in this coming year 2021 mind the business that pays you because it's clear these men would keep on opening thread upon thread to push this their narrative of African women being unfit for them . Please let's leave them to their foreign princesses.like I don't know where you get the energy from.as Nigerian women we are damned if we do damned if we don't. So please this is a message to all women who gets into arguments with this nairaland males to please have a change of attitude this coming year.ignore and keep being a boss that you are. Grow thrive pamper yourself and feel good. We would definitely meet the one for us that has same principles and belief as us so no need losing sleep over a non issue. Let's boss up and sip on our drinks when they start with their usual sheningans. Love and light sis.

Men and women fighting on NL everyday. Na wah o.

goodman3:


My advice to Nigerian men, don't make the mistake of getting married to an African woman abroad.

BE SMART!!

Somehow I believe you got badly burnt by an abroad African woman. But should you then paint them all as unfit to be wives? There are sooo many African mem happily married to abroad African women. Not saying that women back home are not good "marriage material" .... but I believe it is better for an African man living abroad to marry an African woman living abroad. If he wants to return home... then he should marry a local babe. A local girl is wayyy more likely to get caught up with the bright lights and go astray.... discover she now has power and the full backings of the law and decide to take revenge by shouting and disobeying her husband ... and if he retaliates... take him to court. It's for the guy to pay attention to the woman before plunging into marriage.

For every bad news about marriage troubles among Nigerian couples abroad, there are hundreds of thousands of working marriages among Nigerian couples abroad. I have been attending a Nigerian church for years, there has never been any single marriage wahala or divorce. All marriages including mine are blossoming. However, when one marriage get k-leg, it will definitely make news. Nigerian couples in Nigeria also have problems too.

goodman3:
It is a known fact that almost every Nigerian's dream is to leave the shores of the country for economic reasons owing to the better job opportunities abroad. Majority of Africans who eventually travel to chase money abroad are men (either for white collar jobs or just hustling/menial jobs). After a few years, these men become more stable over there and decide it's time to get married, this is where the trouble starts.

It is usually a dilemma in choosing a foreign wife abroad OR coming back to Africa to choose a wife. Most men tend to believe the African wife will be more humble but recent happenings dispute this. We have discovered that the laws abroad will always favour a woman above a man, this gets worse if you're a black man. In fact, a peice of furniture or a cat will win a court case over a black man anyday especially when an allegation of abuse is made, know this and know peace!! It's quite sad that when our women go there, they use these laws against their husband who toiled for years to bring them over, they threaten with divorce, false allegations of abuse and molestation and render these men homeless after many years, some get all their assets split, their children are taken away by the woman, some even end up jailed. Some men end up killing their wives in anger and frustration, it is a sad scenario that keeps playing over and over again.

My advice to Nigerian men, don't make the mistake of getting married to an African woman abroad. If you really want a woman to live with you and raise kids, make sure you bring her over as an independent person, she can live with you, have kids but there's no signed documents that you're married over there. You both can even get married in Nigeria here but travel as independent people. Don't ever fall for your emotions or her words to do otherwise because she will change when she reaches there over the years, they all do. If you go as a married couple, all you have worked for in your life can be snatched away from you anytime. BE SMART!!

was making sense a bit. But do you know what common law partners is They have same right as wives so you points of bringing them over as independent person is baseless. Some men bring women over, dont do any house chores, dont help with kids and still beat and cheat. The woman should no deal with them abi. Continue

goodman3:
It is a known fact that almost every Nigerian's dream is to leave the shores of the country for economic reasons owing to the better job opportunities abroad. Majority of Africans who eventually travel to chase money abroad are men (either for white collar jobs or just hustling/menial jobs). After a few years, these men become more stable over there and decide it's time to get married, this is where the trouble starts.

It is usually a dilemma in choosing a foreign wife abroad OR coming back to Africa to choose a wife. Most men tend to believe the African wife will be more humble but recent happenings dispute this. We have discovered that the laws abroad will always favour a woman above a man, this gets worse if you're a black man. In fact, a peice of furniture or a cat will win a court case over a black man anyday especially when an allegation of abuse is made, know this and know peace!! It's quite sad that when our women go there, they use these laws against their husband who toiled for years to bring them over, they threaten with divorce, false allegations of abuse and molestation and render these men homeless after many years, some get all their assets split, their children are taken away by the woman, some even end up jailed. Some men end up killing their wives in anger and frustration, it is a sad scenario that keeps playing over and over again.

My advice to Nigerian men, don't make the mistake of getting married to an African woman abroad. If you really want a woman to live with you and raise kids, make sure you bring her over as an independent person, she can live with you, have kids but there's no signed documents that you're married over there. You both can even get married in Nigeria here but travel as independent people. Don't ever fall for your emotions or her words to do otherwise because she will change when she reaches there over the years, they all do. If you go as a married couple, all you have worked for in your life can be snatched away from you anytime. BE SMART!!

Maybe if Nigerian men who come abroad, learn to drop the mentality of how they were raised and start to abide by the ways of western culture things would be good, I’m not saying abide by every thing but try to adjust. Not here to argue, just here to states Facts. You can’t go to Rome and behave like Egyptian, else remain in Egypt it’s very simple.
If a Nigerian man can abide by all the law of the western culture just to avoid trouble, why can’t he adjust to that when it comes to Women? The system favors women here same way it favors men back in Nigeria. The system didn’t use to favor women back then until things starts evolving… Even the so called western culture back then use to have PATRIARCHY!!
But most people want to always eat their cake and have it… it’s not possible �…
Even the women back home are getting smarter.
, it’s not that hard, marriage is not easy, but it’s not also very hard, it’s like a mathematical question, that seems a lot but once you start adding and subtracting, you break it down.
1.first have a change of attitude and view of life, if you want to still assimilate the mentality of naija, then remain in naija and marry a Nigerian woman there who has not been exposed.
2. Marry right- don’t marry for wrong reasons, what ever you can’t take don’t go forward with it..when it comes to marriage… involving God is something I 100 percent recommend, some people say she wasn’t like his before I marry her, perhaps if you were in tune with God, he would have revealed it to you.
3. Do the right things, what ever you want in a partner, you have to first be that person… if you want respect, give it, if you want someone who listens to you, learn to listen… by the time you see that this person isn’t matching the energy and you are � the person who you say you are, you will not want to marry the person
4 there are a lot of Nigerian Men who are married here with their wives and kids happily
5. Marry a kind person, someone who you know deeply believes in till death do us path..
6. Find a woman who is still in touch with her feminine energy and a woman who still knows her roots.
7. There is nothing wrong with doing * certain *things equally, If you love that woman, you won’t have a problem with it.
8. The norm now is Nigerian men going to marry, then they leave their wives over there and come back and be goin on and on, Omoh at some point in time it would be getting tiring.
9. Life no too hard.. na just say a lot of people they marry people wey them no really know.
Selah

Pierocash:
IWhat a useless law those westerners practice.

They take away our power.

Any wife can use oyinbo law against a husband.

If they see you beating a woman they will even say you are a crazy madman

Marriage crises can happen anywhere and to anybody OP. I know many Nigerian couples who live together and are happy abroad. I don't know where some of y'all get this wack mentality from. Get a good woman and stop misleading people.