K

The first mistake you made was not letting the crook sleep behind bars for atleast a week when the first crime was committed.

This time around make sure the people coming to your house enforce the full wrath of the law.
Do not intervene. All that suicide stunt na SCAM.

If this type of people are not punished, they grow to become BIGGER CRIMINALS. Nip it in the bud bro.

Was he like that while growing up? Is there any other family members that has the same habit he is exhibiting (probably the father). If not, just pray and fast for him. Prayer works wonders.

Encourage the mother to be councelling him too and warn him against bad company. The university is the theatre of all forms of peer pressure. He is certainly doing all these to fit in

I agree with the poster that said you should have let him sleep behind bars the first time. They always get emboldened after that. How did you punish him or make him take responsibility? Unfortunately you're not telling us the whole story. Most Last borns tend to be spoilt/overly sheltered. He didn't just wake up to be a con man. It is one thing if he was any of the above, it's another if he was a good kid & just fell into bad company. If it's the latter, he can still be salvaged by someone who can use an iron hand on him. If it's the former, unless everyone turns against him, faces him squarely, not confronting him in family meetings & going back to pet him in private. Things can still work out. Anything apart from that, just expect settling lifelong issues from his mistakes. Let me guess, he's the type that can't see the log in his own eye? You better do the needful asap.

K

K

k

Well, you have to make up your mind.

You guys made him this way because of over pampering and yet you are still doing it .

And he knows you and your mum love him too much to punish him.

Pay up the people he conned and continue like that with him.

Maybe some day you people will be strong enough to do the right thing with that young man.

K

BlackCastle:
My youngest brother; early twenties, lives with my parents and a university student is becoming a hardened con man.

Late last year, the stole close to 400,000 from my mum’s acct through her phone and squandered the same amount on phones, women and clothes. When I suspected and discovered he’s slowly emptying Mumsi’s acct through her acct statement, he attempted suicide when confronted.

My mum was horribly traumatized and the entire family with her. Now, recently he has devised another scheme with forex. Taking people’s money and making bogus promises which he’s not able to meet and from the last information i got from home, they’ve started coming to the house to demand for their money.

How do i handle this case, i need sincere mature advice considering his delicate mental state.

First and foremost, cut the company he keeps off him or cut him off from the company he keeps. Whichever one is easier for you.

It's indeed delicate.Even the attempted suicide is something I was unable to figure out. Can you engage him with the service of a psychologist? My opinion

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BlackCastle:


No scam bro, he actually drank bleach. Had to rush him to different hospitals before he was revived. I’m thinking along the same lines of arrest but my heart is heavy. What if he kills himself

Please let him drink the bleach so that his ways will be clean.
He didn't think of his action when he robbed your mother and spent it on harlots.
He didn't think of the humiliation he is bringing to the family.

Some people may suspect that all family members are part if the plan and may end up coming for you or your mum.

My elder brother use to behave like this then my dad ordered soldiers to flog him and lock him up in the guardroom. Today, the guy is a lawyer.
If my dad had been emotional, he would have remained a gangster.

Sometimes, we need life-changing experiences.

Peace.

BlackCastle:


Hmmmmmmm.
Please elaborate on the right cause of action cause i want to get him arrested and detained for a while.

3 steps

He has to be confronted fully first. Everyone in the family against him.

He has to agree to take responsibility for his actions & suffer the consequences.

Then outline the ways & steps he would take combined with help from the family to get himself out of the quagmire.

Fully explained....from personal experiences.
Everyone one in the family, especially those he respect must know, Best to call a family meeting & take turns to talk to him about how his decisions has & will reflect back on the family. Whoever is sheltering him must also be sternly warned. It was the minority against the majority in my own case, guess what, the individual later roundly disgraced/offended all those protecting to the point they all angrily gave up. The mother & her bank account/assets in this case continues to suffer depletion, Afterall the person got away with it many times before & only received sympathy. Unfortunately at this point my side had already washed hands off the case. Let Everyone be united.

2, He must agree to pay back that 400k & whatever amount he already collected from other people. To support this, take him to a police station or barracks to write an undertaking to this effect. If he's the normally pig headed type, arrange with his creditors or policemen to have him arrested, let him stay behind bars for like a week, don't mix him with hardened criminals please. An isolated cell will do. If he's not, a tour of the prison & cells will do.
When he's back home, sit him down again, ask him his plans on paying back his debts, let him know he has the full support of the family if he's serious about turning a new leaf else he should get ready to be left to his own fate.

Judging from his actions from that point, you either help him get to his feet by finding him a job & monitoring him henceforth especially those he moves with till he get his life back on track. He obviously can't stay with the parents anymore, whatever stipends he gets must be drastically reduced. He would understand how hard it is to waste what one sweated for later. If he has to pause schooling for now, let it be done. He doesn't need to dropout. A year is sufficient for turning back such individuals back to the right path. But you must also do your path by providing an iron hand & strict monitoring, his boss and fellow workers must be aware. Understanding everyone has eyes on him to do the right thing should be constantly ingrained in his mind.

Failing all that, because a bent tree can never be made straight,as a last resort, Kindly withdraw him from school & find a way to enroll him in a military school etc. At least he'll be able to make something of himself even if his habits don't change. And fund his lifestyle without ending up as a parasitic leach on your life forces & finances. It's painful watching them destroy themselves & others entangled in their net with the knowledge that if only they had agreed to help offered earlier at a younger age, things would have turned out differently.

You may have other ideas but the core issues in this types of case is the inability of the individual to take responsibility, the inability to reflect on their own faults, they just can't & always see others as the cause. Coupled with being sheltered from the consequences of their actions and a touch of entitlement? , it's a time bomb waiting to go off. They never learn until it's too late to change. Address this issues and you can resolve things easily.

BlackCastle:
My youngest brother; early twenties, lives with my parents and a university student is becoming a hardened con man.

Late last year, the stole close to 400,000 from my mum’s acct through her phone and squandered the same amount on phones, women and clothes. When I suspected and discovered he’s slowly emptying Mumsi’s acct through her acct statement, he attempted suicide when confronted.

My mum was horribly traumatized and the entire family with her. Now, recently he has devised another scheme with forex. Taking people’s money and making bogus promises which he’s not able to meet and from the last information i got from home, they’ve started coming to the house to demand for their money.

How do i handle this case, i need sincere mature advice considering his delicate mental state.

He will meet his waterloo soon just don't worry yourself

In as much as he us no longer stealing from you mum

If possible, open another account for mum, you put your phone number and be getting alerts yourself whenever mum.needs money, let her use her atm or go to the bank directly but you gets the alert

Let him keep duping people by when they come for him, let you family release him to them so that he will be prosecuted and be taken to jail

BlackCastle:


No scam bro, he actually drank bleach. Had to rush him to different hospitals before he was revived. I’m thinking along the same lines of arrest but my heart is heavy. What if he kills himself

If he has the strong mind to scam people, he should also have the same mind to bear the consequences. Are you waiting for him to disgrace your entire lineage before cracking down on him?

BlackCastle:


Thanks. I’ll think of that.
Despite his tendencies he’s my brother and it’ll break me if something happens to him. Plus mumsi fit no survive am.

He sounds like a spoilt brat. No offence intended. What if one of the people he scams does something irreversible to him, will you blame yourself for not showing him tough love when you had the chance?