Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by InvertedHammer: 8:17am On Dec 27, 2020 |
Giantfarmer: and some women are verbally abusive which causes men emotional trauma... infact some of this women are quick to shout foul / Emotional or psychological trauma from verbal abuses (women's forte) have no physical evidence. No scratches nor blood to show to the public. Women are angels. Men suffer domestic violence too but won't be quick to run to the social media for fear of mockery. / 6 Likes |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by yuping(m): 8:17am On Dec 27, 2020 |
If am your child and you try any thing and I am deported back to Nigeria just know you just lost a child forever, leave the those children alone see it as a blessing in disguise . I know you are suffering but see it from the view of your children, abi this naija no tire you. #peace 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Oluchia(f): 8:35am On Dec 27, 2020 |
Waohh! Just waoh! @the comments. I was just thinking, if this same story was put up by a man whose wife absconded with his children without his consent, I can bet that the comments will be very different. 5 Likes |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Daguccizgreat(m): 8:40am On Dec 27, 2020 |
Zzor: For the man to have done that, you must be a bad wife and him taking the children along means he's a good and responsible man who loves his family, I hate women who treats Good men badly. Very sensible comment of yours |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Karlovich: 10:58am On Dec 27, 2020 |
InvertedHammer:
/ Emotional or psychological trauma from verbal abuses (women's forte) have no physical evidence. No scratches nor blood to show to the public. Women are angels. Men suffer domestic violence too but won't be quick to run to the social media for fear of mockery.
/ This reminded me Johnny Depp and Amber Heard case, she was literally threatening him to call the police and see if he'll be believed. It's only on this platform that women are Angels and saints. 3 Likes |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Olaideolayemi(m): 11:09am On Dec 27, 2020 |
debbydams: yes.thanks Good to hear.... Am happy for you!!!God will continued to be your strength... |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Isabella199: 11:35am On Dec 27, 2020 |
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Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Tinyemeka(m): 12:11pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
PedroEastman: Let me tell you my life story, last year I was on my 6 months IT in Warri refinery where my Dad is a staff, my mom died when I was 6 and I have 3 younger siblings (step brother and sisters but you won’t notice because of the love we have for each other) . But unfortunately there mom and my Dad had to part ways because she couldn’t leave her business in port harcourt to base in Warri when my Dad was transferred there. So since my younger ones were still tender my Dad remarried a Warri woman but before the marriage she was nice and supportive but the moment she was married she started acting up and misbehaving. My Dad gave her a check of 1million in my presence to open a business close to the house and stock it very well but instead she opened a beer parlor after assuring my Dad she will open a provision shop and stock it like a mini supermarket. Fast forward to 4 years and she was still into the beer business and she closes late like 10pm after leaving home in the morning by 8 after my Dad leaves with me for IT by 7am but my Dad closes by 12 just to come hope and cook for my siblings because according to my step mom she was too busy with her business to cook. I kept wondering why my Dad is patiently cooking and not complaining about her considering the fact that he is hot tempered .
I never knew my Dad has a plan already coincidentally his retirement and my end of IT was in same month.
After I completed my IT my Dad retired but kept mute and she didn’t know he had retired and he even cooks and drive to her beer parlor to give her where she will be sitting and laughing with different men.
I had already finished my IT and my Dad retired too but we keep dressing every morning and and going out as usual as if we were going to our place of work then I never knew my Dad’s plan until he drove me somewhere in NNPC club where we got drinking, I drink a lot but my dad thought I was innocent to to him he is the first person to give me alcohol , mind you i was 23 years then. And drinking our beer he made one last call and all I heard was wait for me outside Refinery gate and he drove there lo and behold a very big truck that can be used to carry relieve material for displaced people. He drove ahead while the truck driver drove behind. We went straight to my siblings school and picked them up then we headed home where we packed everything and drove immediately to ph ( Eleme ). It was around 11pm she started calling and when we were already in our house but my Dad ordered my not to pick and he didn’t pick too .
For The 1million my Dad gave her to start the business she never for 1 days cook from it , even when my dad traveled and the money he dropped was exhausted she made us drink garri even when I had made millions and when my Dad asked why we had to sip garri as food her response was it’s a man’s responsibility to take care of the family not hers.
My reason for writing this long episode is just to let the OP know that a man can not just run with his children if you have not done anything to made feel you’re no more worthy.
I know my writing is not arranged but I just wanted to make a point[color=#990000][/color] Bros! I can totally relate to all that your dad went through. Men do suffer in marriages but because our society is patriarchal in nature and conditioned to despise complaints from men, they just have to suck it in, "man up", "take it like a man" and all that yada yada yada bullshit. I've come across statements such as: "my money is my money; your money is our money" and wondered what pit of hell, that sort of mentality emanated from. You'll thus have entitled women who come into marriages with the thinking that the man being the breadwinner, should single-handedly shoulder EACH and EVERY role and responsibility in the house. Heaven help him, should the wife take up a job or business that engages her time. The man who wouldn't want to see his kids starve, would then be forced to go to take up preparing the meals, while also managing his own stress at work - just as you described in your dad's case. When these marital issues arise, some guys get aggressive and resort to verbal/physical assault ( the side of the story we always get to first hear about). Others adobt wisdom and search for a less violent way of exiting the marriage. Things were not this bad during the time of our parents. Westernisation and excessive liberalism has crept in and thoroughly destroyed the very foundations that held marriages solid sand sacred. And it's only getting worse with time. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by olusegxz: 12:23pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Not doubting your story but if it is real it will be all over the news by now. Not just a nairaland forum story. This is a very news worthy story, association of awon bloggers and human rights band wagons would have been doing hashtags by now, to spread it like wild fire. *If it is real. Madam tell us your real name, no shame if you really want your kids back, and I will personally fish out the husband. And start a mad twitter trend. This is big story o. TemiBami2020: Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.
Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers
He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.
I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?
Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses
I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by emeejinsm: 12:57pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
GboyegaD: I will advice you like a family member. Contact the British High Commission to let them know he never sought your consent. Once you can justify the consent letter he submitted was falsified, his records are shattered and he might be deported. You can find a way to get his number and have that discussion with him before doing that to bring him back to his senses
Have you contacted his HR to be sure he resigned? They should be able to give you that information as his next of kin of he has you listed.
Lastly, to the clowns saying she must have been a bad wife, you don't have enough information to judge any of the parties in this marriage. That said, I know situations where the bad ones are the ones trying to run away with the kids. stop being a pussy doing this will only make matters worse |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by NkemChukwudi: 1:06pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Openbusiness: He DOESN'T need any consent letter from his wife. All he had to do, which he has already done, is to prove fatherhood. If it is a baby, or little child, they will accept authentic recognized Government birth certificates, naming ceremony pictures etc. If it is a grown child, they might require DNA test too. Once they verify etc, and the man satisfies other requirements like funding to take care of himself and the children, accomodation in the UK etc, his VISA and approval for his children to travel with him is a done deal.
The man obviously met all the requirements. But some wailers are crying here and wailing like someone stole the air they are breathing because a father took his OWN biological children to the UK. Not uncle, not guardian, not surrogate, not godfather BUT the biological father himself. I want to believe that most if not all the men talking nonsense about it are obviously not fathers themselves most likely and so don't know what it means to be a father.
As if he needs anybody's permission to take his children wherever whenever. God bless him wherever he is. I don't know what transpired between him and his wife, that's another subject and topic and I can't judge matter I know nothing about, and even in this case pointing fingers and blame is not the solution.
The solution is diplomacy and peace. If the woman is still interested in her marriage and coexisting with THEIR children, of which she is the mother that gave birth to the children for her husband, who is the principal rightful "owner" of those children, then she should humble herself, find a way to reach out to her husband, apologize, sue for peace and accept to work out whatever issues they have (obviously there are issues), then submit to his authority as the head of their marriage and Captain of their relationSHIP.
Then she can go and join them in the UK too and leave Nigeria for those wailing on this thread forming Bruce Lee and bounty hunter and ICE agents because a father LEGALLY relocated with his children abroad. OP if you like, let them mislead you and help you DESTROY whatever is left of your marriage.
I think all these people pushing you to create more problems for yourself, they have new husband and new marriage they kept inside their pocket to give you, fah? You better check them, most of them are mannerless ungraceful misandristic females that can't even keep a boyfriend, not to mention a husband or marriage.
Don't let them help you destroy your marriage oh, cuz they want all ladies to be single, bitter, frustrated, empty and lonely like them. So helping you destroy your marriage is just another day in paradise for these low-budget misandristic females here. They call themselves evening newspapers, that's an accomplishment they are so Proud of and won't mind if you join their club. Be wise. Make peace with your husband so you can go and join your family in the UK ![cool](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cool.png) Marriage that is already scattered? What is it with you people and marriage sef? How many Nigerian marriages are truly functional in the UK sef? Toxic relationships don’t usually change. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Openbusiness: 2:21pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
NkemChukwudi:
Marriage that is already scattered? What is it with you people and marriage sef? How many Nigerian marriages are truly functional in the UK sef? Toxic relationships don’t usually change. How is it already "scattered"? Did the OP say she wants divorce? Did the man try to divorce her? What they have is a matter of misunderstandings and disagreements. They are just having a power tussle as to who is in charge of their relationship. She is still interested in the marriage, and of course the man is still interested too, but obviously very angry with her right now. She is still his wife and he is still her husband. They can sort out this matter between themselves with wisdom and maturity in play. What's your definition of "toxic" marriage? There's is no marriage without ups and downs, there is no marriage without disagreement or conflicts from time to time or maybe even ocassional confrontations and physical or verbal attack. It is normal, it happens. Marriage is not always 24/7 Romance and Love. This is the real world, not a Disney Cinderella story. But judging from her write-up, she still loves her husband and they can still fix their marriage. This case is not beyond repair. She should reach to him and make peace and go and join her husband over there, or if they decide they want to come back here, that's up to them. 3rd party people can't just be sitting in one corner amd pushing people to destroy their marriages just like that. If your car gets broken down on the highway, do you just throw it away just like that, or you try to fix it? 1 Like |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Everfrank(m): 2:49pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.
He simply beats you to it. Why would you be threatening him over his kids? 1 Like |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Nobody: 3:41pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
It was a toxic marriage yet you stayed oya enjoy your stay. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by GboyegaD(m): 4:17pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
emeejinsm: stop being a pussy doing this will only make matters worse Oga, why not advice her the best thing to do. You who reasons like the husband who acted cowardly is the pushy here. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by NkemChukwudi: 6:33pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Openbusiness: How is it already "scattered"? Did the OP say she wants divorce? Did the man try to divorce her? What they have is a matter of misunderstandings and disagreements. They are just having a power tussle as to who is in charge of their relationship. She is still interested in the marriage, and of course the man is still interested too, but obviously very angry with her right now. She is still his wife and he is still her husband. They can sort out this matter between themselves with wisdom and maturity in play. What's your definition of "toxic" marriage? There's is no marriage without ups and downs, there is no marriage without disagreement or conflicts from time to time or maybe even ocassional confrontations and physical or verbal attack. It is normal, it happens. Marriage is not always 24/7 Romance and Love. This is the real world, not a Disney Cinderella story. But judging from her write-up, she still loves her husband and they can still fix their marriage. This case is not beyond repair. She should reach to him and make peace and go and join her husband over there, or if they decide they want to come back here, that's up to them. 3rd party people can't just be sitting in one corner amd pushing people to destroy their marriages just like that. If your car gets broken down on the highway, do you just throw it away just like that, or you try to fix it? This is exactly how women get trapped in relationships that no longer has any value. And men on the other hand just get frustrated and depressed or just give up on the woman. Everything in life expires or comes to an end. From the woman’s narration and the man’s actions that marriage is truly over. Don’t get that woman killed by a frustrated “husband”. The marriage is finished, she is working and she can look after herself. Take your do-goody two shoes and mind your own life. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Nobody: 6:33pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Openbusiness: You have no business with my likes, so why are you mentioning my comment on this thread, when I never even quoted you before? Your self-confusion is legendary. Do I look like a man that wants anything to do with your likes of ultrasensitive bitter super-nagging low-IQ confused triggered females? Definitely not me! I only relate with and appreciate decent, graceful, well-mannered, refined, classy, humble wise women with maturity who respect, honor and are loyal to their husbands and use their wisdom and good character to build their home and marriage, and not tear it apart like tissue paper. You're obviously not in that category of women, so what's my concern with you? And I'm not responsible for your heartbreaks so don't wail at me abeg. (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ That's the way out of my mentions. I have hit a truth button that has turned bitter to this idiot. The level of this illusion of grandeur is just so pathetic. Utter fool thinking I mention him because of him. I am addressing the inept ideas you put out there that has made some women perpetually timid. And that’s what you confuse for good character ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) . Come out to society with this your over bloated ego and it’ll be popped in seconds. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by nuelyoyo(m): 6:49pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home. He was ahead of you and beat you to your threats. That is why I don't know how to threaten people, I just act. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by drezo(m): 7:45pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
TemiBami2020: Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.
Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers
He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.
I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?
Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses
I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home. Stop lying you're a wh*re that's why your husband left you. If you had taken the children now, you'll claim he never had interest in training his children.... Shameless woman!!! That man simply was tired of your wh*ring now go back to your worthless boyfriends and let the man have peace and train his children shameless woman. To cover tracks you say "all marriages have ups and downs" instead of saying what happened, what you did, but then when people blasted you, you started blaming the man, he's a drunk, a wicked man this and that, ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) why not tell us he also raped you!! LIAR ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) same tactics. Useless woman!!! Some men would even leave without the children if the woman is too evil, but for him to even leave with the kids shows you're not just an ordinary wh*re ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) 3 Likes |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Taal17: 8:40pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
TemiBami2020: Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.
Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers
He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.
I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?
Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses
I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home. If your husband took your kids to the UK then he has committed a crime because it is illegal to obtain a visa for a child without the other parents consent plus boarding a plane without both parents consent is illegal based on our immigration law. Get lawyer Make a police report on the this Go online and look for contact for UK Deputy high commission Lagos or UK High commission Abuja Call or email with details for your husband and all three children. If you have pictures even better. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by CHoccolaTE: 9:59pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
katyamizotta:
I wish you had turned the story around. Pretend to be a man whose wife abducted the kids and went to the UK. You would have received more help and information from people here. Most of the members of this forum do not think much of women, including women. Honestly Some of the stupid things I have seen idiotic women on this forum type against their fellow women makes me cringe. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by CHoccolaTE: 10:02pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Oluchia: Waohh! Just waoh! @the comments. I was just thinking, if this same story was put up by a man whose wife absconded with his children without his consent, I can bet that the comments will be very different. Not only will the man get help from left, right and center, insults would have flooded on the thread about how women are evil and wicked and useless. Nobody will accuse the husband of being a bad person or say he deserves to have his kids taken away. I keep saying it that men have innate, default hatred for women but women choose to lie to themselves about it. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by cococandy(f): 12:21am On Dec 28, 2020 |
katyamizotta:
I wish you had turned the story around. Pretend to be a man whose wife abducted the kids and went to the UK. You would have received more help and information from people here. Most of the members of this forum do not think much of women, including women. oh that’s a fact. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by JoeEeL(m): 4:35am On Dec 28, 2020 |
Openbusiness: He's a great guy, and can be very objective and neutral. We don't have issues, even though we don't always agree on certain political views, social or societal issues, we agree to disagree, we argue to learn and improve. Mynd44 is the best moderator on Nairaland. I have examined all of them. He stands heads and shoulders above the rest! And he is the most hardworking mod too. 4am he don dey push topics go front page. He is a correct somebody. How can you tell which of them pushes a post to front page? |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by DesChyko: 9:15am On Dec 28, 2020 |
Perfectsouth: This man just used my masterplan.. I need to device other means to go about mine without her even having a say at all. Echo. This marriage thing is draining the very essence that makes me human. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Oluchia(f): 2:54am On Dec 30, 2020 |
CHoccolaTE:
Not only will the man get help from left, right and center, insults would have flooded on the thread about how women are evil and wicked and useless. Nobody will accuse the husband of being a bad person or say he deserves to have his kids taken away.
I keep saying it that men have innate, default hatred for women but women choose to lie to themselves about it. Honestly it's so sad.. This is one reason I usually don't like commenting on this forum. So many people with zero regard and human empathy especially for women. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by CHoccolaTE: 12:59pm On Dec 30, 2020 |
Oluchia:
Honestly it's so sad.. This is one reason I usually don't like commenting on this forum. So many people with zero regard and human empathy especially for women. It's the males, Nigerian men don't wish their females well. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Magnoliaa(f): 5:57pm On Dec 30, 2020 |
InvertedHammer:
/ Emotional or psychological trauma from verbal abuses (women's forte) have no physical evidence. No scratches nor blood to show to the public. Women are angels. Men suffer domestic violence too but won't be quick to run to the social media for fear of mockery.
/ from who? 1 Like |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Luminary1: 9:02pm On Jan 03, 2021 |
Relocate and meet them. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Kelvinhunta: 9:23pm On Jan 13, 2021 |
Guys needs to be wiser! If its getting to breaking point then get a spy camera well disguised and record her discreetly let's now see whose story will be believed Karlovich: This reminded me Johnny Depp and Amber Heard case, she was literally threatening him to call the police and see if he'll be believed. It's only on this platform that women are Angels and saints. |
Re: Help!!!! My Husband Absconded With Our Children by Kelvinhunta: 9:24pm On Jan 13, 2021 |
An women wish men well? CHoccolaTE:
It's the males,
Nigerian men don't wish their females well. |