My younger brother of 23 years is a little promiscuous, he keeps a barrage of girlfriends and my mom has noticed because 95% of his time at home is spent talking to one girl or the other.

I over look most of his acts because I feel he will get over it with age, I did worse when I was his age but now I have more serious things to think about instead of chasing things in skirt. He sleeps out of the house at times and I and my other brothers cover for him, one of his girlfriends came around this week and gave him 50k and he shared 2k to all the guys in the house.

Mom found out that he has been sleeping out this morning and he used me as his line of defence and I covered up for him as usual, now she's mad at me that I'm not controlling my younger ones well and I'm too lenient on them because I don't beat or maltreat anyone in fact you won't know who's the elder among us but they respect me very well. I'm a student but others are doing biz and they always try to help me out in school to the best of their ability.

They once attacked a guy just because the guy insulted me and I had to restrain them that day, I guess it's due to my relationship with them. Last year Xmas most of the family traveled leaving just three of us in the flat, my younger bro bought my favorite wine before begging me to allow him bring a girl to the house which I later consented to and the girl spent 3 days and we benefited cos she cooked and did all the house work.

Now after my mom's outburst this morning I feel guilty, my girl wants to come to over since my people have travelled but I told her I'm not comfortable with her coming. I know sooner or later my younger bro will still ask for my permission to bring a girl over and I'm now thorn over to agree or not.

***Modified**
Just like I envisaged he brought the girl he has lodged for the past two days to the house without prior notice, meaning I'm automatically displaced from the room I share with him though there are other rooms in the house.

In a bid not to embarrass him in front of his guest I reasoned him two aside and gave him 24hours to get the girl out of the house or I will fling the girl's bags off the balcony,he was taken aback by my anger but still apologized and promised to send her out first thing tomorrow

At 23, he is old enough to make his decisions... There is little you can do than to tell him to slow down. Don't go hard on him and ruin the relationship you share.

#IWishIHadABrother

dawnomike:
At 23, he is old enough to make his decisions... There is little you can do than to tell him to slow down. Don't go hard on him and ruin the relationship you share.

#IWishIHadABrother

Please stop misinforming people.

At 23 in Nigeria, he is still in his formative years requiring proper guidance with mentorship and if he ruins his future then all family members will pay for that.

I have friends that towed that path and they are having life very difficult because they felt they were ladies men. School dem no go, work dem no learn.

O.Y.O is their case.

yomi007k:


Please stop misinforming people.

At 23 in Nigeria, he is still in his formative years requiring proper guidance with mentorship and if he ruins his future then all family members will pay for that.

I have friends that towed that path and they are having life very difficult because they felt they were ladies men. School dem no go, work dem no learn.

O.Y.O is their case.

Well, It depends on which category of Nigerians you are looking at... Where I come from, @23, you are to start to stand on your own. So, it is relative

dawnomike:
Well, It depends on which category of Nigerians you are looking at... Where I come from, @23, you are to start to stand on your own.

Please where is that?

Your brother is not wayward. He needs his life to be small and safe and uncomplicated. He has not coped as well as you have with your shared childhood. This is how he copes. If he had even a low stress life, it would buckle under him. This is as much interaction in the real world as he can handle.

There is nothing to say he needs a life like yours.

My brother is like this, and for the same reasons. He has been occasionally homeless, even going into Canadian winters. His life moves from the health food store to the library to the pub, the park, and then home in a boarding house. That's his life. That's the most he can manage, so I take him out for meals, lend him money that won't be repaid, and I watch over him as best I can as a younger sister.

It's enough. So take him out for meals at restaurants of his choice, and talk to him, and make sure he has basic clothing, and keep visits short. It is imperative that your brother choose his own lifestyle. Be supportive. You are in a position to be generous.

Unclesmart12:
My younger brother of 23 years is a little promiscuous, he keeps a barrage of girlfriends and my mom has noticed because 95% of his time at home is spent talking to one girl or the other.

I over look most of his acts because I feel he will get over it with age, I did worse when I was his age but now I have more serious things to think about instead of chasing things in skirt. He sleeps out of the house at times and I and my other brothers cover for him, one of his girlfriends came around this week and gave him 50k and he shared 2k to all the guys in the house.

Mom found out that he has been sleeping out this morning and he used me as his line of defence and I covered up for him as usual, now she's mad at me that I'm not controlling my younger ones well and I'm too lenient on them because I don't beat or maltreat anyone in fact you won't know who's the elder among us but they respect me very well. I'm a student but others are doing biz and they always try to help me out in school to the best of their ability.

They once attacked a guy just because the guy insulted me and I had to restrain them that day, I guess it's due to my relationship with them. Last year Xmas most of the family traveled leaving just three of us in the flat, my younger bro bought my favorite wine before begging me to allow him bring a girl to the house which I later consented to and the girl spent 3 days and we benefited cos she cooked and did all the house work.

Now after my mom's outburst this morning I feel guilty, my girl wants to come to over since my people have travelled but I told her I'm not comfortable with her coming. I know sooner or later my younger bro will still ask for my permission to bring a girl over and I'm now thorn over to agree or not.

@23 years of age..He is an adult..The person to rebuke him are his parents not you.
Just advice him once a while and lock up...

Very soon your younger brother go see you finish if you don't act fast now

Stop collecting those Greek gifts (2k & wine) from him e go cause see finish

Try and sit him down and advice him on how best to behave. All these monies he's receiving and squandering can be set aside for future use

HarunaWest:

@23 years of age..He is an adult..The person to rebuke him are his parents not you.
Just advice him once a while and lock up...

Ofcourse.

In your region, a 23 year old man is an adult with probably a wife and 3 kids. When he is 35, he will have 3 wives and 12 kids littering the country.


I don't think the Op is looking for this kind of life for his dear brother.

Hmmmm

LIFE GO TEACH AM IF HE NO LISTEN. .OP. THE WAY TO HELP HIM IS TO CUT HIM OFF HIS CURRENT FRIENDS

yomi007k:


Please stop misinforming people.

At 23 in Nigeria, he is still in his formative years requiring proper guidance with mentorship and if he ruins his future then all family members will pay for that.

I have friends that towed that path and they are having life very difficult because they felt they were ladies men. School dem no go, work dem no learn.

O.Y.O is their case.

Bros wetin na.
formative years at 23?

21 year old NYSC members plenty.o

Op, comot your hand and allow younger bros take some decisions. Also allow him to bear some shame/consequences.

nawa.o, 23, formative...

yomi007k:


Please stop misinforming people.

At 23 in Nigeria, he is still in his formative years requiring proper guidance with mentorship and if he ruins his future then all family members will pay for that.

I have friends that towed that path and they are having life very difficult because they felt they were ladies men. School dem no go, work dem no learn.

O.Y.O is their case.

at 23 ,he is an adult, he can only be adviced.some at 23 are working and earning good pay.the only problem here is, he is still under his parents roof.its is irresponsible for him to bring women into his parents house. if he wants to be an independent, he should move out

dawnomike:
Well, It depends on which category of Nigerians you are looking at... Where I come from, @23, you are to start to stand on your own. So, it is relative

He should start by getting his own apartment and fend for himself, since he's old enough!

yomi007k:


Ofcourse.

In your region, a 23 year old man is an adult with probably a wife and 3 kids. When he is 35, he will have 3 wives and 12 kids littering the country.


I don't think the Op is looking for this kind of life for his dear brother.

What the hect are you talking bout dude?

MrHighSea:

Bros wetin na.
formative years at 23?

21 year old NYSC members plenty.o

Op, comot your hand and allow younger bros take some decisions. Also allow him to bear some shame/consequences.

nawa.o, 23, formative...

21 or 23 with NYSC with substandard level of education and no experience. Ok sir.

felixzo1:
at 23 ,he is an adult, he can only be adviced.some at 23 are working and earning good pay.the only problem here is, he is still under his parents roof.its is irresponsible for him to bring women into his parents house. if he wants to be an independent, he should move out

What percentage are working and earning good pay. In Nigeria or today or the 60s?

yomi007k:



21 or 23 with NYSC with substandard level of education and no experience. Ok sir.

experience in space engineering,
abi, in developing covid-19 vaccine.

instance,

hope you know what it takes to school 6hrs away from home, unsupervised for 4-6 years in a Nigerian Federal University.

23.... can vote and be voted for... can be tried in an adult court if he commits any..., You as an elder brother can only advise him noting else... he's old enough to be a local govt councilor/ chairman....

I left my parents at age 21 to leave at a distance of 279.2km apart


You can only advice him at 23 , you can’t force him to change

Unclesmart12:
My younger brother of 23 years is a little promiscuous, he keeps a barrage of girlfriends and my mom has noticed because 95% of his time at home is spent talking to one girl or the other.

I over look most of his acts because I feel he will get over it with age, I did worse when I was his age but now I have more serious things to think about instead of chasing things in skirt. He sleeps out of the house at times and I and my other brothers cover for him, one of his girlfriends came around this week and gave him 50k and he shared 2k to all the guys in the house.

Mom found out that he has been sleeping out this morning and he used me as his line of defence and I covered up for him as usual, now she's mad at me that I'm not controlling my younger ones well and I'm too lenient on them because I don't beat or maltreat anyone in fact you won't know who's the elder among us but they respect me very well. I'm a student but others are doing biz and they always try to help me out in school to the best of their ability.

They once attacked a guy just because the guy insulted me and I had to restrain them that day, I guess it's due to my relationship with them. Last year Xmas most of the family traveled leaving just three of us in the flat, my younger bro bought my favorite wine before begging me to allow him bring a girl to the house which I later consented to and the girl spent 3 days and we benefited cos she cooked and did all the house work.

Now after my mom's outburst this morning I feel guilty, my girl wants to come to over since my people have travelled but I told her I'm not comfortable with her coming. I know sooner or later my younger bro will still ask for my permission to bring a girl over and I'm now thorn over to agree or not.

***Modified**
Just like I envisaged he brought the girl he has lodged for the past two days to the house without prior notice, meaning I'm automatically displaced from the room I share with him though there are other rooms in the house.

In a bid not to embarrass him in front of his guest I reasoned him two aside and gave him 24hours to get the girl out of the house or I will fling the girl's bags off the balcony,he was taken aback by my anger but still apologized and promised to send her out first thing tomorrow

Am surprised at you, is it that you are weak or you can tolerate nonsense

Anyway make a resolution, this new year, put a final stop to it let him go to a guest house and spend the money there since he doesn't have financial plans