I came across a post on zikoko via my email and I read it. I was like wetin we come do for this life sef? see the link to the post and the messages of people who regret giving birth...
https://www.zikoko.com/her/4-nigerian-women-share-why-they-regret-having-kids/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email

After asking some Nigerian women to share why they do not want children, we asked some that do have children if they regret the decision. These four Nigerian women share why they regret having kids.

Abimbola, 44
Maybe regret might be a strong word because I absolutely adore my children, but since I turned forty, I had found myself asking a lot of “what ifs”. I got married when I was 23. By 25, I had my first child. 28, I had my second. 30, I had my third, and 32, I had my fourth. I spent over a decade of my life birthing and raising infants and toddlers. People say that the twenties are the best time of your life, but I spent mine changing diapers, birthing children, and breastfeeding.

My thirties weren’t any better. I had to deal with those small children, school runs, teething, all the other things. Now, I am in my forties and I am dealing with rebellious teenagers. I wonder if I will ever be free from being a mother, and just be an individual. I wish I had forged a career path, done more than go to the University in terms of my education. and just lived. All I really wish, is that I got the chance to live. If I never had any children, I would have probably been able to do more things for me.

Fadeke, 37
I have just one child, and she almost killed me. I got pregnant three years after marriage, at the age of 30. The entire period through the pregnancy up until the birth of my daughter was hell. My husband tried his best, but he could not take the pain away. Nobody could. I had gestational diabetes while pregnant with her. Now? I have type two diabetes. I wonder what my life would be like if I never had her. Being sick for the rest of my life is not something I envisioned for myself. Sometimes when I see my daughter, I feel a type of resentment towards her. I know it is not her fault, but I just get angry and cry. I feel like she stole something from me.

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Elizabeth, 30
I had my son when I was 22 years old, as an undergraduate in a school in Nigeria. It was a one night stand, and I forgot to use morning after pills. A month after, I found out I was pregnant. Till now, his dad is nowhere to be found and I’m honestly not bothered. I love my child, but I often wish I didn’t have him. It’s been tough raising him alone with little help from my parents. I often have to split my income into two, with him getting the larger portion. I also haven’t been able to be in a successful relationship for a while now, as most men do not want to be associated with a single mom. Having children in my opinion isn’t really necessary. I can’t make plans without considering him and it’s tiring, exhausting, and painful. I’m at a point in my life where I’m not sure if I’d want to have more kids. Sometimes, I just want him out of my sight and very far away from me. I cry most times and I snap at my son a lot. I often regret doing it, but I can’t help it.

Chidera, 32
When I got married, all the women in my family spoke about how children are a blessing and I thought so too. What they don’t tell you is how children rob you of your dreams. I did not even realise until my seven-year-old asked me what I wanted to be, and then it dawned on me that I was not even close to achieving that dream. When I was in my 20s, I wanted to be an Economics professor. I never got to do my Masters because I became pregnant, then I had to wait for two years to reapply because of breast feeding and nursing. By the time she started school, I got pregnant again. I love my children, but I realised I sacrificed everything for them and that made me resent them just a little bit. I keep wondering what life would have been like without them, and that life sounds more like the dream I had when I was younger. Talking to my husband about it was useless because he could not understand it. He did not have to drop everything in his life to raise children. I did, and I really wish I didn’t.




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Op...you forgot to @ogun or @ayelala

Very funny but true
Truth which can only be understood by only those in it. Single girls and barren women will only see those complaining as ungrateful wicked and a shade of mockery.

Life no balance

I sympathize with madam Folashade.

That's the price you pay. It is well with married people

Therefore, I believe that the decision to have a child should be treated responsibly.
Because motherhood is a sacrifice. Mothers always sacrifice their time, their interests, their health for the sake of their children. Therefore, the desire to have a child should be so great that these sacrifices do not matter to you.
I also believe that when planning a pregnancy you need to undergo a complete health examination. This way you can protect yourself from the unwanted consequences of pregnancy.
And the most important thing is to listen to yourself and your desires. Because other people have a different experience. And even if your mom says that children are happiness, it means that this happiness is for her personally. Not the fact that it will be happiness for you.

Personally, I am not a huge fan of procreation.

I think people have overrepresented and exaggerated the importance of having children in Nigeria. The reason for this, I don't know.

After years of training your children with your finances and your might. I don't think anyone gets rewarded enough.

They build you a house and send you monthly stipend.

A life carefully spent can guarantee you far more than this.

DontBullshitMe:
Personally, I am not a huge fan of procreation.

I think people have overrepresented and exaggerated the importance of having children in Nigeria. The reason for this, I don't know.

After years of training your children with your finances and your might. I don't think anyone gets rewarded enough.

They build you a house and send you monthly stipend.

A life carefully spent can guarantee you far more than this.

Well Said
Even Africa culture makes everything worst, making some people to be lazy, because they want to reap the fruit of labor, they turn lazy overtime.

It’s always important to plan your life and as much as possible stick to the plans you’ve laid down especially for ladies.

A smart and determined lady will finish school, get a well paid job or business, even further studies before marrying.

I was pregnant when I registered for MBA. I have a live in nanny (49). She has five grown up kids and in all honesty knows how to handle kids better than myself. I leave my baby with her and go to work. I practically don’t do anything at home except weekends when I make sure the nanny goes home so I can stay with my baby. I don’t let people shame me with negativity for pursuing career and education above all. It’s not a bed of roses but you can make it work.

Have an understanding husband (KEY) and really follow your dreams regardless. In the marriage-career race, You don’t have to sacrifice one for the other.

If you like write a compendium people will still marry or breed even in AD2090

Our body is wired to do so, no matter how you tried to suppress it you are only deceiving yourself

You are not smarter or wiser than God who made it that way neither you are the one who makes your body as far as you came into this world through a man and a woman process You too will eventually bring someone through the process.
Is a nature calling you can resist