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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened (81184 Views)
Kenyan Man Returns Empty-Handed 42 Years After He Left Home For Greener Pastures / None Of My Fiance's Family Members Likes Me. Please Help / My Fiance Has A Child Out Of Wedlock. But Kept It A Secret From Me. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by rtdCivilservant: 11:14am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Trayceey:Fine, now u are talking. Just look for a way to explain things to him, tell him u never meant it the way u said it. All the best, all I said was of good intentions for u. Lastly, sorry if I said anything that sounded insulting. |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 11:16am On Jan 08, 2021 |
[s] JovialJune:[/s] Keep my family out of your disrespectful mentions, I'm warning you! 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by izzou(m): 11:18am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Hathor5: Is there even a cultural obligation? The "culture" line of defence is just to justify the entitlement mentality. Nothing more 7 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by JovialJune(f): 11:18am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Fiscus105: Go and check my profile and probably my comments, I'm a graduate from a prestigious University, a married woman with kids, I don't blindly support nonsense based on gender, You this Nl people always assuming rubbish on people they don't even know offline just to drive home a useless point, accept you're wrong, simple. 37 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by TransAtlanticEx(m): 11:19am On Jan 08, 2021 |
JovialJune:Swears,I would pay top dollar to see the faces of some of these ladies so we could avoid them in the future. Real bad market,that is why I always look at income bracket of women before trying to have any serious relationship with them to avoid this type of things. No family that is doing well would expect anything from any of their relations, Only the fact that you respect them enough to come and visit them is a thing of joy,let alone complaining over the can of malt they served to their guest 13 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 11:20am On Jan 08, 2021 |
SweetCunt97: Let them keep on deceiving themselves on Nairaland. Something they wouldn't dare do in reality to avoid embarrassment. |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by JovialJune(f): 11:22am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Mariangeles: I don talk am, come and beat me, Sheybi it's your family culture to be receiving daily gifts upandan, una no suppose name am gift, you suppose say na compulsory trade to entertain una son in laws na, as op's mama dey vex say she give am HER drink Oya come and beat me 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 11:25am On Jan 08, 2021 |
[s] JovialJune:[/s] Why am I not surprised? For someone like you who doesn't have respect for her mother-in-law and husband's family, disrespect cannot be far from her. Shameless! 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Hathor5(f): 11:27am On Jan 08, 2021 |
izzou: Obviously, some people think there is. I think it is simple courtesy to bring something no matter how little when you visit people but I would never expect people to do it every time they come. And I would be ashamed to complain if they don't. Sometimes I just want to offer my hospitality without receiving and expecting anything in return. I always instruct one of my best friends (oyinbo) not to buy anything when she is coming over because she comes with bags. There is also joy in being surprised with a gift. No surprise if it must be done every single time in the name of 'our culture'. My parents don't expect me to get anything for them when I visit. Sometimes I still do but not every time. I, for my part, expect my parents to treat my husband like their own child so why would they expect anything of him they don't expect from me? 8 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by idahme(m): 11:29am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Trayceey: Someone who saw his in-law coming to pay them visit by 2003/2004 is a teenager? You guys should be calming down a little..... 9 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Hathor5(f): 11:29am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Xmen149: |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by JovialJune(f): 11:32am On Jan 08, 2021 |
TransAtlanticEx: Seriously o, the priority for in laws when meeting an intending son in law, should be his attitude, character, how he carries himself, and how respectful and reliable he can be, that's all, Op' fiance already brought gifts the first time he went to see her mother, which is the right thing to do, if he decides to always bring after that, or not, should be at his own volition, that's all, in fact, some parents will want to go extra mile to feed their son or daughter in law with different assorted food just so they are satisfied, maybe it's prevalent in Yoruba culture only sha, who knows. 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by JovialJune(f): 11:35am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Mariangeles: Thank you ma Oya come and beat me 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by idahme(m): 11:36am On Jan 08, 2021 |
JovialJune: A beg calm down, you are assuming that common sense is a virtue for all its not. 5 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 11:37am On Jan 08, 2021 |
JovialJune: No need! You do that yourself everyday! Inukwa nga na ra nshi! 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 11:39am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Ndi mpiawa azu na ndi iro ejula ebe a nile! Like MTN, they're everywhere you go! 1 Like |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by sapporo: 11:43am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Fiscus105: Bro its a "will" thing, no doctrine/culture stipulate you must bring gift. question of right or wrong doesnt play. The most important thing a mother should be all about is ensure her daughter marries a gud man. gift is not the priority I don't blame the mother and i won't blame the guy, the only person wrong here is the Op, instead of attacking her boyfriend she should have find a better way to give the guy heads up. a call like; babe i notice you didnt come with any goodies to the house, i would love you to get something for mom o! no matter how small .. you can never tell these old people. laugh about it, a reasonable man wil get the message. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by JovialJune(f): 11:43am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Mariangeles: Yen yen yen right back at you, Nsidime. 7 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by TransAtlanticEx(m): 11:46am On Jan 08, 2021 |
JovialJune:No it's not just a yoruba thing oo. I am an Anambra man 100%,in 2004 after my sister's husband has come for introduction and all,my sister travelled for her studies. My mom was always sending food to his house,almost everyday.I use to be the one going there to drop the food cos we lived like 2km apart so I know. Sometimes my immediate older sister. Then the guy was still struggling(not poor but still hustling),he didn't have a car,my mom gave him one of the cars in the house that wasn't really doing anything(toyota carina II ) just because he saw him untop okada in a commercial town they both do business in(you know how dangerous okada was seen in that era),he used till about 2005 when he bought his own car and returned ours which he had already scrapped(nobody complain!) because he used it for business. My mother had plenty trucks because she was a trader,my sister's husband stopped paying transport for goods because he can always come home and take anyone he likes and just buy diesel and tip the driver rather than chartering a truck(All because of marriage ooo still at introductory level). Na em one clown here dey say its igbo culture to always carry gift to their homes bla bla bla... It's not igbo culture abeg,speak for your clan. Do you know how stupid you will look to take provisions to go and visit a well to do family?Like you come and park and start offloading rice and tomato with milo So disrespectful!!! The only thing you can give these set of people is whiskey or champagne(to the father) or Cuban cohibars if he smokes and maybe clothe to the mom(hollandis) or cash gift. Anything else is outright stupid and disrespectful for well-off families. 28 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Xmen149(m): 11:48am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Hathor5: E shock you fa. ogo bu chi onye (ones In-law is his God) is a term formulated by old reched igbo families they use to tax their inlaw to death. Then they will crown it by giving the in-law one of the girls younger brother or sister to help them raise. All are big nonsense families are changing now. The last thing you will do in my house then is to introduce someone as your boyfriend or girlfriend, no matter your age,.fear gree them come again for no fucken reason but to just come and see my parents and bring gifts you don buy case for my parents hand 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 11:48am On Jan 08, 2021 |
JovialJune: Onye luru gi ni, o si ya ji nwaanyi? Nne di gi a hujuola anya! Were ya otu ahu! 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by sapporo: 11:50am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Mariangeles: aunty you wrote "great" instead of "GREED" people. its in the blood we get 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by JovialJune(f): 11:51am On Jan 08, 2021 |
Mariangeles: This one will soon start crying in igbo language, someone should pls help her 20 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 11:53am On Jan 08, 2021 |
TransAtlanticEx: Iwu onye mpiawa azu? Don't be a sell out! |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by pocohantas(f): 11:56am On Jan 08, 2021 |
izzou: Jokes apart, the fact that the guy took out his time to visit, yet the mother’s problem was that he didn’t bring a gift, tells a lot. Anyway, looking at OP’s previous comments, I think she is using us to catch cruise. 8 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 11:58am On Jan 08, 2021 |
JovialJune:Igbo amaka! Owu otu owu! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Xmen149(m): 12:03pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
TransAtlanticEx: exactly my brother,... nothing igbo about that shit. 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 12:05pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
pocohantas: The fault was from the op for confronting her fiance about it. It should never have gotten to that extent. |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Fiscus105(m): 12:06pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
sapporo: I concur, it seems the tongue op used too heavy, If you follow my comments you will notice I don't comment on her post directly despite I saw the post earlier, I started commenting on comments that attacking mother in law, in this situation the person who made biggest mistake is fiance, I keep repeating it, though op didn't play her card accurately as well. We are In Africa let play accordingly plz, we should stop bringing ailien culture at detriment of our own, My wife can not imagine going to my parents house without bringing gifts even when I complain I don't have money, likewise me According to op, going to his in law house now, not compulsory because she told him, she wont be around, why can't he stay behind if he doesn't prepare to give them gifts not even December period. Oga school we attended shouldn't be a yardstick for us to jettison our culture of decency o, instead we should promote culture and politeness Let me repeat my self again , my sisters and brothers in laws used to complain I don't use to call, will it good to tell them If I don't call they too can call me? I have never thought of it once Place that he was going which is not often, haba 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by TransAtlanticEx(m): 12:07pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Mariangeles:I have no reason to backstab you,I just say things as they are. 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by emmaodet: 12:09pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
Afromentalist: 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiance Visited My Mother Empty-Handed & Now Our Relationship Is Threatened by Mariangeles(f): 12:11pm On Jan 08, 2021 |
TransAtlanticEx: I ma na nwanne mmadu ka iwu...a kpasola'm iwe ooo, ka anyi ghara I se okwu. Udo. |
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