Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

Its your cross bro. One day, you'll be free

Lifeisgoody:
Its your cross bro

yes I know

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son,i just happen to have a *** mom.. the thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls letme explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine...anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late lie down and sleep. its over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel.. I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. he will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking. I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that... If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom...she has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My fathers brothers and sisters she had been keeping malice since a month after her wedding.. That's over 20 years ago.. Something happend and she hates them, if you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble. She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others, if she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.Today one woman she has quarell with had a fight with her brother... My mother was happy.. saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi. I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart if full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because It would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice. I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. she's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now. Pls what can I do, everyday everytjme person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

At the bolded, Your mum must really be related to Tyson Fury.

It seems your mum is fed up with the marriage. There are many reasons that can make a woman detest her husband and children so much, the chief of them being that she is already into a relationship with another man...I just hope it is not true.

Bro, no matter what do not fight your mum, I repeat do not fight her...i repeat do not even touch her for any reason.

I suggest you approach her calmly, tell her your mind, ask her certain questions pertaining her attitude and sort out things amicably...If you believe in God, then take your matters to HIM in prayer.

Prayers do more magic than magicians.

Kingosytex:
It seems your mum is fed up with the marriage.

bro I don't know, is she expecting me to come and be begging her again for what, cause I am cooking??.. My siblings are very little if you give her the money she won't answer or look your side

Pray for her

You've been exposed to early maturity and right now your siblings will be looking up on you for everything...



You have found the problem...But yet to find the solution....



Fighting your mum is not ideal...Ignoring her is an insult....


If I were you, I'll rather refused fighting her... Greet her and go your way... Cook and serve her if you may and show her love....

She doesn't find the happiness in the marriage and not even from the kids and could be some hormonal issues or a mental health issues....


Just love her as a mother and look after your siblings.... Ignore her curses.... Always be nice to your father's neighbor and don't let them see you kids as a product of your mother's making....

It's a psychological problem, the husbands usually fall sick, wither away and die.

You'll need to take good care of your dad, It's very important.
The best is to separate them.
Your mother will only get worse with age except she gets professional help.

Marriage is not for everyone, especially not going your mum.
She needs to grow up before considering getting marriage. Her refusal to do so has forced you to mature too early.
Now you will become the mother,and father of the house. Her children will be looking up to you. Who will you look up to?

Whatever you do, you cannot change her.

Figure out your own life. Fend for yourself. She is resting after work because she is sure you will cook for the siblings.

Some days, go out and hustle, learn a trade, a skill anything but do not stay at home. Come back home and sleep. Do this consistently for a year.Stop covering up her mess by doing her duties. she will continue. She will be either forced to do them or the neighbours will know the kids are starving by their malnourished looked .either way, she will be held responsible since you are physically absent and busy

Thanks for your advices, that's what I will do cause people work on their selves if they fill they have insecurities or characters they feel is killing them and they should do away with.. She likes being like that, embracing solitude and expecting others to follow you to it... You cannot be singing and laughing beside her, except she is in a good mood to laugh as well

Pray for your mum. Take care of your dad the much you can. Be determined to be happy irrespective of the conditions around you. This is even better if you can afford to get your own apartment. Failure to do the aforementioned can lead to your own psychological breakdown. You've got your own life to live.

Just exercise more patience. For your father to survive that over-twenty-years marriage with her, you can do too. Mind you, you possibly have just few years in that house. Channel more energy towards your younger ones & give them moral lessons where necessary.

See her as your cross & remember her in your prayers.

Your mother will always be your mother.

You can change wives or have more, but you definitely can't change or have another mother.

CC: kennywagz

The type of woman a man marries will determine the quality of life a man and his children get.

Your mum is a malicious woman.

To be sincere with you, sometimes a malicious mother is one of the causes of the downfall of the father and children.

People who might want to help will not want to get close to your family all because of your mother. I have seen it many times, ooh, i can't give this guy job because his mother was not nice to me and it goes on and on.

Do your best, leave the house and be a man, believe me, you don't want to be associated with her, help her from afar.

Badluck is infectious.

My brother I have gone through what you wrote and I must confess it is really touching. My advice for you is that since she has abandoned all her wifely duties and motherly duties due to the reason stated, try as much as you can to take care of your younger ones and especially your father. My ernest wish and prayer is that your father does not die from this situation due to hypertension. Talk to him, take very good care of him, console him also, I know he is going through much stress from thinking, please also appeal to him not to give up and wish for his early death because of what he is passing through from your mom. He should console himself knowing he has children who are capable of taking good care of him. As for your mom since she wants to be isolated from the rest of the family, please grant her wish, discuss with your younger ones to dissociate themselves from her, treating her as she is not part of the family. When she sees that you all are taking adequate care of yourselves and your dad I know she will have a rethink. If she doesn't then it is left to her to live her life as she has decided for herself. Less I forget, don't distance yourselves from your uncles and aunties from both sides of the family, go to them for support and advice.

If u really wana live in peace with her do wat makes her happy or jejely leave the house and av ur peace

merieam16:


If u really wana live in peace with her do wat makes her happy or jejely leave the house and av ur peace

If doing what makes her happy means losing your sanity?

zedegit:


If doing what makes her happy means losing your sanity?

its obvious u didnt read completely b4 quoting me

For your sanity and the rest of your family, especially your father that's sick.....change environment/location before she destroy you and your siblings emotionally and psychologically

Continue to pray for her and perhaps recommend a psychologist/therapist for her

If your description is accurate, her type of condition is probably NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and is symptomized majorly by deriving happiness only through emotional manipulation and control, and by creating misery in others and grabbing the centre of attention. Such people also tend to be insensitive and have no empathy towards others. I'm guessing that she either had an unhappy childhood, or a very spoilt one; where her every tantrum was catered to. Your father also did not set proper boundaries early on in the marriage, and permitted her to go on with her behaviour until he couldn't stop it any more. This attitude of hers will kill him in the long run.

The best solution is to get her away from the family so she can be miserable on her own. The problem is that such people never let go. By now, she has understood that the children are your father's weakness, and if he sends her packing, she will fight to take them, not because she really wants to, but usually to punish him through them. You're on for a long ride. Be patient, and be strong for your siblings. Once they are old enough to be on their own, pull your father out of the situation and let him heal.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm

merieam16:


If u really wana live in peace with her do wat makes her happy or jejely leave the house and av ur peace

do what makes who happy .. seems you are confused.

try and ask ur Dad if she is ur mother.

Teaveapoet:
Pray for her

That shit doesn't work I prayed for my dad to change for over 20yrs and he is still like that

Offer her up for sacrifice OP and put joy on the faces of Each family member with the proceed

Thank me later

The thing is she a kind of person that don't see wrong in what they do, to them they are always right, that there nature just treat the matter with knowledge God help and save us from some of this our mother's, they feel like demi gods and want everything done in there own way, she was expecting u to join her and sterve the family, just be careful ND prayerful

:If u really wana live in peace with her do wat makes her happy or jejely leave the house and av ur peace do what makes who happy .. seems you are confused.

kennywagz:
yes I know

I don't know where you guys reside, try and see if you can find any HOMEOPATHIC physician there, and take your mum to the physician, it's not a normal thing for a woman to detest her own children it's a serious disorder, SEPIA OFFICINALLIS can help but it's better to consult a professional homeopath who will take her case in a proper manner.

There's nothing you can do about it but trust me she's going to change as she's aging.

I have a sister who would quarrel and fight with anyone, there was one time she had a fight with a family in the train according to her the children took a photo of her and she seized the phone and was going to destroy it, took the intervention of the police.
But old age came, today you would even step on her she won't utter a word.
So Op give her time she'll soon realise her mistakes and come around.

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son,i just happen to have a *** mom.. the thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls letme explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine...anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late lie down and sleep. its over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel.. I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. he will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking. I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that... If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom...she has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My fathers brothers and sisters she had been keeping malice since a month after her wedding.. That's over 20 years ago.. Something happend and she hates them, if you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble. She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others, if she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.Today one woman she has quarell with had a fight with her brother... My mother was happy.. saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi. I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart if full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because It would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice. I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. she's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now. Pls what can I do, everyday everytjme person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

Wo I relate well with your case o. But what I did was to simply leave and mine wasn't too bitter like yours sha. But age done dey give am sense unlike before wey blood dey hot. So my advice is you be independent and move away cos such shit can push one to do what they don't wanna do when they've had it.

Brandonx:
There's nothing you can do about it but trust me she's going to change as she's aging.

I have a sister who would quarrel and fight with anyone, there was one time she had a fight with a family in the train according to her the children took a photo of her and she seized the phone and was going to destroy it, took the intervention of the police.
But old age came, today you would even step on her she won't utter a word.
So Op give her time she'll soon realise her mistakes and come around.

So he should wait for old age huh? Sorry but people like that never learn or realize their mistakes. They keep seeing faults in others rather than themselves. The OP should move out if possible.

Oyibo pikin no go tolerate all this nonsense unto say na you born am.

Fvckyouall:


That shit doesn't work I prayed for my dad to change for over 20yrs and he is still like that

You dey mind that ignorant being