Sorry to say but your mum is just a sadist and what she needs is deliverance.

I understand your pains because I have withnessed someone exactly like your mom and the way she treats her husband and children is no different from your mum's behavior.

This woman im talking about will openly be saying she'll commit murder. Just because no body owned up to eating the bread she kept and the oldest of her children is just 13yrs old.

Whenever I'm in my kitchen Which is facing their veranda on the detached building to ours I'll hear all sorts. She doesnt like people around her to be happy, it brings pains to her. And it goes on like that to the point where the 13 and 12 year olds among her children are beginning to complain.

Just ignore and be praying for her because worse is, she'll might end up with High BP.

southniyikaye:
your sanity matters at this stage..
If you have the finance, get out of that house and rent a room outside...
If you can move your siblings, fine...
See, have gone through marital trauma and that's not what I wish even for my enemies.. It will drain you physically..
When you are supposed to think straight or channel your energy into more productive things, it is what is going on in your family that will weigh you down... It will drain you bro and if you are not careful, you might loose your sanity..
You matter
Your life matters
You need your sanity... Stay away and send them money to cater for themselves cos believe me, na who die lose o...

Oya tell me.more about the marital trauma jare...

No Matter what u do don't lay hands on ur mum. Just try to ignore her n avoid the things that trigger her mood swings. U shall muddle through.
Your mum seems to have mental issues. Thread carefully young man...



uote author=kennywagz post=98000433]Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

you're not alone. It's like ur mom and my mom are identical twins. It's so bad that that when she passed away everyone heaved a sigh of relief. If you tell her a secret, your name is sorry because that secret will spread like wild fire the next day. Thank goodness all that is behind us now.

ModestGal:
Don't take all the advice's on page 1
Your mum is your mum, and no matter what, you should treat her well.
Your mum is in pains, she's deeply wounded, she's acting like a wounded dog. It could be from childhood or during her young age, she wasn't understood, everyone always blame her, no one listened to her, and thus she already see everyone as an enemy, and she doesn't care if the whole world see her as a bad person any longer, she will always fight when she feels cheated or wrong

Prolong injustice is usually the cause of such bitterness and anger to everyone, and how people always support the oppressor and fight the oppressed. This made her to detach her love from everyone, because she sees them as evil and that no matter how she behaves, they are there to blame her.

The truth is you are part of the problem including your father, maybe she's used to you sideing your father without listening to her own side of the story and she joined you in her mind with the people she has termed evil.
Truth is, many a times we blame the victims in this part of the world. And I have seen it a quite number of times, especially people that fight everyone, they are usually the victims.

Have you ever taken your time to see the reasons she despises the people she despise? Sometimes, neighbours would look for her trouble because they want to show the world that she's always fighting everyone

In her mind, you are a bastarrd, because she also see how other people's children treat their mothers like goddesses, and you don't.
All her curses are from pains, and fighting neighbours are from pains. She's a wounded soul and she needs treatment, the only way to heal your mother is to through love.

In this part of the world, people like pinching people they perceive weak, or with a problem. It goes in two forms, the victim will become stupid and dumb when people pinch her or even beg them or do what they want, and in the other case, she becomes a wild dog herself, because she's already expecting people's pinches

You said she didn't forgive your uncle after 20years of marriage, do you know if he attempt to rape her or even raped her? Will you forgive such person after 50years?and she wasn't able to speak or say to anyone, it could be an offence higher than that as well. I saw this happened to a friend after marriage. So please, you can't just assume until you know.

Don't be useless, prostrate and beg your mum with a teary eyes,why she's what she is. Only she has the answers

Most Truest opinion and advice.

We don't take Mental health issues seriously in this part of the world.

seanwilliam:
God bless you brother... going through the thread I can see that we still have along way to go in Nigeria..people mostly approach issues with emotions which is not going to work

That approach never works bro... I don't see why people can't see that.

That woman won't change by kisses and flowers. She hasn't changed for 20 years. What she needs is either you leave her alone and move to another state with the dad or make the house a warzone till she is broken and conquered.

Any other advice won't work, especially "sitting her down and talking nicely to her" part.

Chii59:
Your mom... Gosh. How have you managed to survive with such a person, jeez

As in eh.

And to even think that there's a man that endured this kind of toxicity for good 20 yrs. Gosh. Some me dey try

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

She probably has a personality disorder. It is unfortunate.

I'm sorry but your father's life is in danger

Karleb:


Next time you post a comment, try to remove emotions from it.

You are really sounding like a wounded lion.

I don't have time for rags

sircrabo:
SIGNS OF WITCHCRAFT

No offence. Some people have bad spirits living in them without their knowledge, they only manifest the nature of the Spirit at times.

This is true too oh. Most people are possessed without knowing, I always tell people this and it gets worsts if the person has an adamant, unforgiving, vindictive character. It grows. It grows in you if you nuture it with bad character and ungodliness.

Spiritual spouse can damage a woman's home for life, if they could not stop her from marrying, unless God intervenes.


Every family is a product of the kind of wife/mother (good or bad) in that home, THE WIFE/ MOTHER is the most powerful force or pillar in every home, so it's is important to choose a woman wisely as men.

NOTE: But love and prayer conquer all things, so I'm advising op to apply wisdom, love and prayer in his case; Mother is still mother (that's the stronghold they have over us). Whatever/whoever your mother is , you owe her Honour and Respect (The Bible has admonished us).

Kingosytex:


Juliearth, just take a look at the bolded.

What kind of work can a woman be doing that he leaves and comes back home very late at night?

I totally understand you...but then again, a lot of factors can be tied to this.

ModestGal:
I don't have time for rags

You okay?

First off I must commend you for not choosing your mother over your father, it shows you see both sides and unlike some SIMPs that'll always choose their mother even when she's wrong.

Now back to the topic, simply ignore her, desist from begging her,apologizing for every little thing makes you look weak.

Next time she fvcks up with you don't hesitate to put her in her place.

Karleb:


You okay?

Well, I just check your profile, I dey your town right now, peace

Juliearth:





I totally understand you...but then again, a lot of factors can be tied to this.

You have a point.

ModestGal:
Well, I just check your profile, I dey your town right now, peace

O boy! How's the place?

Moral ofstory: Never make a slay mama/olosho a housewife...marlians got no manners

luminouz:


Oya tell me.more about the marital trauma jare...

go through my profile here and on perfectsouth

Fidelismaria:
First off I must commend you for not choosing your mother over your father, it shows you see both sides and unlike some SIMPs that'll always choose their mother even when she's wrong.

Now back to the topic, simply ignore her, desist from begging her,apologizing for every little thing makes you look weak.

Next time she fvcks up with you don't hesitate to put her in her place.

how do I do that boss, my mum is the type to always get physical when she's angry at you.. To be honest if not for my junior ones That held her I don't know what would have happened. Surely I'd never raise my hand to hit my mother but I also don't like someone bullying or making life uncomfortable for me

TechCapon:
you're not alone. It's like ur mom and my mom are identical twins. It's so bad that that when she passed away everyone heaved a sigh of relief. If you tell her a secret, your name is sorry because that secret will spread like wild fire the next day. Thank goodness all that is behind us now.

I know of a woman( neighbor) that exposes her children to anybody and everybody through gists. Her hobby to sit with friends n acquittances to gist and gossip. She like to sell out her own children/family flaws, weakness and faults to outsiders. When u want to know anything xupping at a particular time in her home just throw in one fake or irrelevant story about yours and she will pour out all her family matters to you.
When to try to caution her against that she respond that she doesn't need to have secrets to hide, that it is good for her to be open.lol.

kennywagz:
exactly boss, people are asking me to beg her and settle... People I have been doing this for long and it's starting to seem somehow... She once said she could kill me and nothing will happen sheybi na she born me

Wisdom is profitable to direct man.
Use wisdom, if you start avoiding her, she will definitely feel it.

Sorry bro. It looks like your mom is a toxic narcissist. At least God blessed your dad with good children to compensate for the misery he must have been put through all these years.

I cannot advise you on this one Sir as it is way beyond my jurisdiction. But God bless your home, I pray things get better soon. Shalom.

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

The thing is me and my mum almost got into a fight yesterday. Now pls let me explain something to you... I understand how yall love your mother's and would do anything for her, I wish I could say the same for mine.

Anytime my parents get into a quarell my mother won't want to talk or do anything again. She goes to work and comes back late, lies down and sleeps.

It's over 5 months, she doesn't contribute anything, doesn't say anything, does not concern whether the children eat or not because of their quarrel..

I don't fight anyone but if I have a quarrel with my friends or bro, 2 days or the next sef we are talking. He will stay in the room by herself after work while we'll be in the palour eating, She will be in the room sulking.

I once came home and my junior ones told me they were talking about something and laughing and mom came out and said sheybi they are all laughing and very soon they will start crying. Like what kind of mother says that.

If you are looking for woman that curse and swear no one pass my mom.
She has fought every of our neighbors, every last one of them. I can't count how many swear and cursed she has said to my father and even to we the children. My father's brothers and sisters, she has been keeping malice with themsince a month after her wedding. That's over 20 years ago. Something happend and she hates them. If you are seen with your aunt or uncle you'd be in serious trouble.

She has this toxic nature/character always wishing evil for others. If she doesn't like you and she sees you happy it's sadness for her... How can someone be like this.

Today one woman she has quarrelled with had a fight with her brother. My mother was happy, saying e don catch am, laughing and praising God. My father is sick and doesn't even have the strength. They don't talk, she stopped talking to me cause she says me and my dad are always planning what we will eat, that am now the wife abi.

I can't express how hateful I am towards this woman, my heart is full of bitterness towards her.. I can't possibly type everything that I personally go through because it would seem as if I came here just to spite my mother. No matter what, she is still my mother, I am just looking for advice.

I give the children money sometimes when they are angry and I cook the food cause she doesn't do anything. She's sees me as her enemy when you don't want to do it, we should come and be begging you. Everytime we get into a fight for very petty things I always go and beg her, you must beg else you and her are enemies she won't talk to you.. I greet her and she says next time I greet her she will swear for me. This negativity is too much, I am a very Sane person, I won't come and write all this if I ain't pained... I have a father I love and my siblings, but it's this woman now.

Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

Seeing things from ur POV ur mom is a troublesome woman but that doesn't make her completely evil tho. Pour ur heart out to her instead of Nairaland. I hope she's a genuine Christian or at least has the fear of God somewhere in her then it would make ur work easy. Dont fight or argue with her when next she starts her usual tantrums. Just chill and when she is calm approach her as a man and talk to her but most importantly LISTEN. Sometimes women can't contain their anger for something or disdain for certain conditions or situations and then they easily transfer aggression. Be a friend to her and i don't mean taking sides just make her know she can talk to u about anything anytime and u will be surprised at what u can achieve with this. It requires lots of patience.... Goodluck.

Btw ur popsy no dey reason with am

kennywagz:
how do I do that boss, my mum is the type to always get physical when she's angry at you.. To be honest if not for my junior ones That held her I don't know what would have happened. Surely I'd never raise my hand to hit my mother but I also don't like someone bullying or making life uncomfortable for me

It's a good thing you know your mum response to anything that threatens her and that is to attack it, since you know this I would advice you always keep a safe distance between you too.

Always survey your environment before you engage her in a heated argument so she won't stab you, pour hot water on you out of anger, infact never have an argument with anyone in a kitchen.

The only thing you could do to your mother at this point since you cannot move out because of your siblings and father is to avoid her, stay out of her path and do your bit in the family.

You put her in her place by simply showing her that no one is indispensable.

Some women develop into witch inside marriage. It's unfortunate but that's the reality.

You have grown, so simply accept her and nurture her as much as you can. Let neighbors know that you are different from her.

God will change her I pray

Let your mum see a psychiatrist. Together with your Dad she should also see a marriage counselor. In fact, I think your whole family need to go for counseling. The problem starts going away when an expert makes your mum realize she is a problem.

kennywagz:
Hello nairalanders, I know how you felt looking at my post before opening this, but pls know one thing am not a bad person or a foolish son, I just happen to have a *** mom..

...
Pls what can I do, everyday everytime person go dey beg you for the most unreasonable and petty things, after swear and curses with bad words Don follow steadily.

CoolJul:
I know of a woman( neighbor) that exposes her children to anybody and everybody through gists. Her hobby to sit with friends n acquittances to gist and gossip. She like to sell out her own children/family flaws, weakness and faults to outsiders. When u want to know anything xupping at a particular time in her home just throw in one fake or irrelevant story about yours and she will pour out all her family matters to you.
When to try to caution her against that she respond that she doesn't need to have secrets to hide, that it is good for her to be open.lol.

that's why I keep saying that mother's love is exaggerated. There are many bad mothers out there but people are reluctant to come out and speak up. It's the good ones that are celebrated, but there are many mothers who don't deserve to called mothers at all.

virago:


This is uncouth , if you don't agree with their submission you don't need to insult them

Where's the insult?

TechCapon:
that's why I keep saying that mother's love is exaggerated. There are many bad mothers out there but people are reluctant to come out and speak up. It's the good ones that are celebrated, but there are many mothers who don't deserve to called mothers at all.

Not all capable of birthing babies are capable of being loving mothers... Many do so to survive via the man who impregnated them and such will continue to blame the kids like na dem push am go spread leg