mariahAngel:


Don't mind him.

Polygamy will lead you to an early grave because of sex. No go do pass yourself o!

kayzeesoft:
They'll use sex to starve you in order to make you beg for it. It makes them feel superior especially when they see you really love them and you're not a cheating type.

mosdii:
Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

Kuns84:


Nah, the reverse is the case girl, crackhaus is king.

esthel:
I think you should contribute intelligently and logically. This post isn't for people like you. Mind you "All of them" includes your mother, sisters, aunties,female friends" etc so you need to watch your words.

bizme:
I am aware this might not be the experience of every couple but the many couple I have interacted with, the story is pretty much the same: the wife losing interest in sex once she gets married to the man and especially once children start coming.

For certain couples it isn't as obvious as that, the wife simply approaches sex as a mechanical function that she needs to get over with and perhaps do something else.

Why do you think this is so? Can one say it's because once married the woman feels socially secured and doesn't need to put in any effort to win the man? Or does it have anything to do with changing biology?

RisenPhoenix1:


Yawn. Please go away and stop following me around. I'm sure you'll find someone else on NL who will be interested in you, I personally prefer smart girls, so we're not really compatible.
Sorry.

pawn89:
a mother of two kids; she will need to take care of the kids, cook, house chores... etc and this is even with the support of the husband ( assuming he's sensible enough to help with house chores), all the running around would make the woman tired and worn out... when would she get the time to get aroused and engage in sexual encounters.

The moment kids start coming in and the family does not have adequate help with her daily routine, it becomes a struggle for her to get sexually excited.

Kids will drain one financially, emotionally, physically and in every other way and to not have a helping husband is just the final straw that breaks the camels back

banmee:


That is not the reason. We as men tend to forget the amount of responsibility women/wives shoulder. Especially in this day and age. Our wives will cook, clean, and be expected to go to work as well. They are human. Not superheroes. I first noticed this after my first kid and I would tease my wife about not doing everything she used to do for me before and when we first got married. Manicure my nails, massage my back, etc. It got worse after my 2nd kid and I really began to have an issue with it. We got into a fight once and she made a remark about me not understanding how hard it's been for her but I was too angry to listen to anything and went to bed. Saner heads prevailed, so the next morning we had a long talk. She was like "dude, I cook, clean, take care of the kids, go to work and when I come back from work I still have to prep the kids for the next day. How romantic would you be if you had to do all that". Then it hit me. She needed help. Things changed tremendously after that. On my part, I became a master chef which reduced the cooking pressure on her and I helped her out on things around the house which freed up more time for us to do things together. We started working out together and going out more for no reason. You see, I'm married to a goddess and I love showing her off. I'm pretty sure I handled it right because we've been married for over 20 years but it feels like yesterday. I will highly advice you to take this approach when you get married.

mosdii:
Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

bizme:
Let's not go down that particular rabbit hole. It is only people without a good knowledge of history that tries to idolize the past and paint the present in grimmer hue. In the past there were utility values for polygamy that were peculiar to that time. First, most of the households were farmers with hundreds and thousands of acres to till. The fact that there was no organized labour as it were (sometimes community arrangements existed), each man literally had to produce his own workforce in-house. In other words, there was a specific need for having several children.
Secondly, diseases like malaria, sickle disease, polio, and many communicable diseases that were not understood, were killing children in particular in droves. And surviving to adulthood literally became a game of numbers. You might start out with 10 children under the age of 5 and only 1 or 2 survived to adulthood. It is not uncommon for most grandmothers 90 years and above to tell stories of how many children they gave birth to and how many actually survived. This in particular, together with the first point, necessitated the polygamous arrangement.

Lastly, mortality rate for men was much terrible at the time, many dying from communal clashes and wars or getting raided by slave-traders. More women, much fewer men.

Polygamy served specific societal purposes and it wasn't because of sex or waning desire for sex. Most wives were circumcised, and it was generally frowned upon for a wife to enjoy sex any way.

I am setting the record straight here because that guy was incorrectly trying to paint a lofty picture of the past.

Sterope:
Switch roles with your wife.

Do the house chores she does before going to work, prepare the children, go to work, come back, and continue where you stopped, including letting your children direct all their complaints and issues to you. Do that for a week and please report to us.

zainabicy:
This is because after a while d man stops trying to make d woman orgasm. They take and take and take.

So after a while, we sef lose interest, children dey, work dey.

KingLion007:
You hardly seen a girl who doesn't cheat nowadays...that's why i resort to babymama stuff coz i havnt seen one yet

bizme:
I am aware this might not be the experience of every couple but the many couple I have interacted with, the story is pretty much the same: the wife losing interest in sex once she gets married to the man and especially once children start coming.

For certain couples it isn't as obvious as that, the wife simply approaches sex as a mechanical function that she needs to get over with and perhaps do something else.

Why do you think this is so? Can one say it's because once married the woman feels socially secured and doesn't need to put in any effort to win the man? Or does it have anything to do with changing biology?

Olunmercy56:
Some married women said most of their husbands are not romantic enough, some husbands concentrate more on work than their family. Etc

Nuel4:
this "including your sisters and mother" doesn't have the kind of weight your gender people believe it has. What's special about one's sister or mother?
The guy is still a morron though

esthel:
I think you should contribute intelligently and logically. This post isn't for people like you. Mind you "All of them" includes your mother, sisters, aunties,female friends" etc so you need to watch your words.

banmee:


No need to ask. You are married.

RisenPhoenix1:


With polygamy, there would be rivalry. Each woman would double up on her efforts to keep more of their mutual husband's attention. There will also always be a nagging feeling that another wife is getting more sex than her, and this will trigger the wife to try to get even more from the husband (keeping a greater share of the market so to speak). Finally, a woman always finds a man infinitely more attractive when he is not readily available to her beck and call; and it also triggers their possessiveness when other available females find him attractive. All these complexities will work in his favour.

A woman in a female herd does not think the same way as a woman with exclusive attention to a man. Polygamy is a woman leveller and destroys all their transactional techniques; that is why women hate it. It is like the difference between a customer's options in a monopoly and in a free market; the man being the customer in this case.

Cousin9999:

8. Nonblack

CalliDora1:

Na food?

On a more serious note though, I think what usually causes it is, the woman is most times overwhelmed with the wifely duties at the homefront. in the process she's expended therefore sex will be the last thing on her mind as the passion for it will have died from exaustion from doing chores. If you observed, it usually happens after the kids have started coming and the workload has increased.

If the man can make arrangements for a house help ( not necessarily a live-in help) to assist with the chores, the woman will be more relaxed to reason sex as it's only a relaxed mind that can get a woman in the mood .

bizme:
I really enjoyed your exposition although I disagree with your prescription of polygamy as the solution. If your premise is correct it means everyone of the polygamously acquired wife will eventually lose taste for sex. So the cycle continues... How many wives would a man then need to keep to sustain his sexual desires?

DrDax:


Armchair philosophers

Do as I say, Not as I do.

Human behaviour is too random and extraneous for your postulation.

Come back in 50 years to update us on how your "polygamy" went.

RisenPhoenix1:


Women use sex to buy love. Men use love to buy sex. Like any economic transaction each party is looking to find a bargain, i.e. spend the minimum amount of their currency to purchase the maximum amount of the service they need. So once women have gotten the man's commitment, they will thereafter spend as little sex as is necessary to keep him from straying to another market. Whereas, once a man has acquired the woman's sexual favours, he will spend the minimum amount of love and commitment to keep her from withholding them. The best solution is to marry more than one wife. Thereafter, they can share the sexual burden among themselves, and the man can pretend to love all of them equally and share a little of his attention among each of them; satisfying all parties involved.

Factoid of life. Free of charge for you.

Kingosytex:


I think you meant cheats.

We share same belief, I detest cheats with passion, I have absolutely no second chance to give them.

pawn89:
I get this first hand, I have to understand, and to support and engage more in vacation ( get a baby sitter), creativity ( ambient light to set the mood ) and a whole charade.

Kids are exhausting... I can only image the struggle families with some sort of financial constraints are facing

CalliDora1:

Na food?

On a more serious note though, I think what usually causes it is, the woman is most times overwhelmed with the wifely duties at the homefront. in the process she's expended therefore sex will be the last thing on her mind as the passion for it will have died from exaustion from doing chores. If you observed, it usually happens after the kids have started coming and the workload has increased.

If the man can make arrangements for a house help ( not necessarily a live-in help) to assist with the chores, the woman will be more relaxed to reason sex as it's only a relaxed mind that can get a woman in the mood .

Theoutsider:



A job that I can pay a child to do.

This is why you have to worry about the tongue of a woman because its riddle with lies.

What she didn't tell you is that often the work men do is 3x harder than her work...

You feminist wanted to work along men. Well you got it.