Good evening, Romancelanders. It's quite a lengthy read, so bear with me.

This lady and I have been dating for the past 4 years, and I am planning on making it official later this year, though Covid-19 made my finances quite complicated recently, but things are getting back in shape.

Recently, specifically over 2 weeks ago, she suddenly stopped picking my calls. Prior to that, we haven't seen each other since September last year. She always comes up with one excuses or the other every weekend whenever I tell her to come over to my place or if I want to go over to her place to see her. I always have busy schedules during the midweek, so we usually have only weekends to see each other.

I have gone to see her mother and her siblings last year. They accepted me as a prospective in-law. The mum said she queried her daughter and she told her that I was the one she would like to spend the rest of her life with, hence the mum's invitation. Her mum usually calls me from time to time, and I do talk to her, too.

Couple of days back, I had to call the mum to report her daughter to her regarding the uncharacteristic change in her daughter's behaviour, and how, despite living in the same city, we haven't seen each other in 4 months, and how she has refused picking my calls in more than 2 weeks.

She promised to talk to her and ask her what the problem was and get back to me. I waited for some couple of days, but when I didn't see the mum's call, I had to call her back. I had to ask her to give her daughter her phone so I could talk to her and ask her some salient questions regarding our relationship. She kept saying there is no problem and that I didn't offend her, and our relationship is still standing strong. I asked if she was going through some personal issues that she could share with me and we might find a solution; she said she was perfectly okay. We settled our issues right there and then, and she promised to call back the second day.

I waited for the second day and I did not see her call. I had no choice than to call her back. Ladies and gentlemen, this girl didn't pick my calls. When she eventually picked after multiple missed calls, she was talking to someone else, while my airtime was burning out. I became enraged. I had to call the mum the second day to tell her I was no longer interested in the daughter, that she was probably seeing someone else, and she didn't have the guts to tell me.

The mum swore that her daughter is not seeing someone else, as far as she knows, and that she hasn't brought anyone to meet her. The mum is a Deeper Lifer, and from my interactions with her, she doesn't condone two-timing. She promised to talk to her daughter, that maybe we should give ourselves more time, like taking a break for a couple of months.

I am not usually this patient, and never condoned negligence and disregard in my previous relationships. However, this girl had been special to me, prior to her negligence. She was quite dedicated to me during the course of our 4-year-old relationship. She was never demanding, and was contented and altruistic, too. She helped me many times in the past, financially, whenever I was broke, and I always repaid her back, too. She was a wife material, and loved by my family as well.

The questions are;

1. Do I disregard the mum's advice?

2. Do I still give this girl another chance after her blatant negligence?

Mods, you might do well by moving this piece to the front page.

I'm just speechless! Giving excuses, hummmm... 4 years relationship Despite living in the same town She is seeing someone else, maybe your communication went bad, she got another guy communicating with her, most ladies like good communication, maybe you ignore her warnings. She is definitely hiding something from you, she can't just changed suddenly, there is a smoke. Go and see her one on one and talk things out. Her mother can't choose for her, don't depend on her promise.

Baba 4 years...this relationship suppose doh get BSC ooh

On a serious note,she is not interested again
The signs are too blaring

Count your losses and go and do another course again

Woman matter be like economics
Have an abundance mentality and do not put all your eggs in one basket.
Diversify your investments so as to avoid the effects of a future recession

sapien:
Good evening, Romancelanders. It's quite a lengthy read, so bear with me.

This lady and I have been dating for the past 4 years, and I am planning on making it official later this year, though Covid-19 has made my finances quite complicated at the moment.

Recently, specifically over 2 weeks ago, she suddenly stopped picking my calls. Prior to that, we haven't seen each other since September last year. She always comes up with one excuses or the other every weekend whenever I tell her to come over to my place or if I want to go over to her place to see her. I always have busy schedules during the midweek, so we usually have only weekends to see each other.

I have gone to see her mother and her siblings last year. They accepted me as a prospective in-law. The mum said she queried her daughter and she told her that I was the one she would like to spend the rest of her life with, hence the mum's invitation. Her mum usually calls me from time, and I do talk to her, too.

Couple of days back, I had to call the mum to report her daughter to her regarding the uncharacteristic change in her daughter's behaviour, and how, despite living in the same city, we haven't seen each other in 4 months, and how she has refused picking my calls in more than 2 weeks.

She promised to talk to her and ask her what the problem was and get back to me. I waited for some couple of days, but when I didn't see the mum's call, I had to call her back. I had to ask her to give her daughter her phone so I could talk to her and ask her some salient questions regarding our relationship. She kept saying there is no problem and that I didn't offend her, and our relationship is still standing strong. I asked if she was going through some personal issues that she could share with me and we might find a solution; she said she was perfectly okay. We settled our issues right there and then, and she promised to call back the second day.

I waited for the second day and I did not see her call. I had no choice than to call her back. Ladies and gentlemen, this girl didn't pick my calls. When she eventually picked after multiple missed calls, she was talking to someone else, while my airtime was burning out. I became enraged. I had to call the mum the second day to tell her I was no longer interested in the daughter, that she was probably seeing someone else, and she didn't have the guts to tell me.

The mum swore that her daughter is not seeing someone else, as far as she knows, and that she hasn't brought anyone to meet her. The mum is a Deeper Lifer, and from my interactions with her, she doesn't condone two-timing. She promised to talk to her daughter, that maybe we should give ourselves more time, like taking a break for a couple of months.

I am not usually this patient, and never condoned negligence and disregard in my previous relationships. However, this girl had been special to me, prior to her negligence. She was quite dedicated to me during the course of our 4-year-old relationship. She was never demanding, and was contented and altruistic, too. She helped me many times in the past, financially, whenever I was broke, and I always repaid her back, too. She was a wife material, and loved by my family as well.

The questions are;

1. Do I disregard the mum's advise?

2. Do I still give this girl another chance after her blatant negligence?

Everything I bolded is a huge red flag. You haven't seen your fiancee since September? And she makes excuses not to see you? And you live in the same city? Second, stop involving the mother in this matter. If you marry this woman and when she "acts up," are you going to report her each time to her mother? The fact that the mother is saying you should take a break from your fiancee is another red flag. Finally, general advice, you need to exercise patience period because marriage is 100x harder than what you're experiencing now.

All that being said, you should break up with this woman. I know four years is a long time to invest in someone but she's obviously changed and is refusing to tell you why. Break up with her, cut her off entirely (do not reach out, it's for your benefit), and start dating other people and refocus on your hobbies. The ONLY reasons you would even consider talking to her again are if she apologizes AND she explains her strange behavior AND promises never to do it again. Other than those reasons, don't ever respond. She'll eventually understand this is the consequence of her changed behavior. Good luck.

Be open minded. Consider it broken, bit don't force the call. Don't call her. Act like she just traveled. If she doesn't reconnect herself, let her go. But give it some time

Don't put all your eggs in one basket..give her some time and also look for a backup babe

I seriously can't read all that, but whatever it is you wrote up there My Advice is stop calling Move on stop wasting your time on something that isn't worth it. if he or she cares She or he will call you.

Just put her on "pending mode" for now

Bross, after Valentine she go come back to you, trust me. Meanwhy, one new jando dey burst her head for one side na.

You never see nothing

You never see nothing

iRepNaija1:


Everything I bolded is a huge red flag. You haven't seen your fiancee since September? And she makes excuses not to see you? And you live in the same city? Second, stop involving the mother in this matter. If you marry this woman and when she "acts up," are you going to report her each time to her mother? The fact that the mother is saying you should take a break from your fiancee is another red flag. Finally, general advice, you need to exercise patience period because marriage is 100x harder than what you're experiencing now.

All that being said, you should break up with this woman. I know four years is a long time to invest in someone but she's obviously changed and is refusing to tell you why. Break up with her, cut her off entirely (do not reach out, it's for your benefit), and start dating other people and refocus on your hobbies. The ONLY reasons you would even consider talking to her again are if she apologizes AND she explains her strange behavior AND promises never to do it again. Other than those reasons, don't ever respond. She'll eventually understand this is the consequence of her changed behavior. Good luck.

Thanks, boss. I deleted her pictures and phone numbers from my phone since the last episode already. I don't want anything to tempt me from calling her, unless she makes a U-turn, just like you have said.

She doesn't like you again. Move on and get a better babe.

I'll put it in a few words.




Stop the shiii you're doing with her, relationship or not cos it's obvious that she doesn't love you. She is showing you yanga so that you do all her biddings when you two get married and if the money dries out, you'll probably commit suicide. Save yourself from a future disgrace now.

she has probably seen a better offer

arsenal444:
Bross, after Valentine she go come back to you, trust me. Meanwhy, one new jando dey burst her head for one side na.

If this is the case, then it's her loss, because once I find out it's another guy that's taking her attention, then it's officially over between us.

I think this is the reason she's scared of telling me anything. She probably wants to test both waters and see which is deeper.

Activist001:
She doesn't like you again. Move on and get a better babe.

Thank you.

Fixey:
Be open minded. Consider it broken, bit don't force the call. Don't call her. Act like she just traveled. If she doesn't reconnect herself, let her go. But give it some time

Okay. Thanks, boss. I have made up my mind that if she doesn't call, I am never calling her back. I was forced to delete her contacts on my phone.

sapien:
Okay. Thanks, boss. I have made up my mind that if she doesn't call, I am never calling her back. I was forced to delete her contacts on my phone.

Sowwie bro

sapien:
If this is the case, then it's her loss, because once I find out it's another guy that's taking her attention, then it's officially over between us.

I think this is the reason she's scared of telling me anything. She probably wants to test both waters and see which is deeper.

but please, don't do anything nasty ooo

sapien:
Good evening, Romancelanders. It's quite a lengthy read, so bear with me.

This lady and I have been dating for the past 4 years, and I am planning on making it official later this year, though Covid-19 made my finances quite complicated recently, but things are getting back in shape.

Recently, specifically over 2 weeks ago, she suddenly stopped picking my calls. Prior to that, we haven't seen each other since September last year. She always comes up with one excuses or the other every weekend whenever I tell her to come over to my place or if I want to go over to her place to see her. I always have busy schedules during the midweek, so we usually have only weekends to see each other.

I have gone to see her mother and her siblings last year. They accepted me as a prospective in-law. The mum said she queried her daughter and she told her that I was the one she would like to spend the rest of her life with, hence the mum's invitation. Her mum usually calls me from time to time, and I do talk to her, too.

Couple of days back, I had to call the mum to report her daughter to her regarding the uncharacteristic change in her daughter's behaviour, and how, despite living in the same city, we haven't seen each other in 4 months, and how she has refused picking my calls in more than 2 weeks.

She promised to talk to her and ask her what the problem was and get back to me. I waited for some couple of days, but when I didn't see the mum's call, I had to call her back. I had to ask her to give her daughter her phone so I could talk to her and ask her some salient questions regarding our relationship. She kept saying there is no problem and that I didn't offend her, and our relationship is still standing strong. I asked if she was going through some personal issues that she could share with me and we might find a solution; she said she was perfectly okay. We settled our issues right there and then, and she promised to call back the second day.

I waited for the second day and I did not see her call. I had no choice than to call her back. Ladies and gentlemen, this girl didn't pick my calls. When she eventually picked after multiple missed calls, she was talking to someone else, while my airtime was burning out. I became enraged. I had to call the mum the second day to tell her I was no longer interested in the daughter, that she was probably seeing someone else, and she didn't have the guts to tell me.

The mum swore that her daughter is not seeing someone else, as far as she knows, and that she hasn't brought anyone to meet her. The mum is a Deeper Lifer, and from my interactions with her, she doesn't condone two-timing. She promised to talk to her daughter, that maybe we should give ourselves more time, like taking a break for a couple of months.

I am not usually this patient, and never condoned negligence and disregard in my previous relationships. However, this girl had been special to me, prior to her negligence. She was quite dedicated to me during the course of our 4-year-old relationship. She was never demanding, and was contented and altruistic, too. She helped me many times in the past, financially, whenever I was broke, and I always repaid her back, too. She was a wife material, and loved by my family as well.

The questions are;

1. Do I disregard the mum's advice?

2. Do I still give this girl another chance after her blatant negligence?

Mods, you might do well by moving this piece to the front page.

Move on. If u still marry am, the problem go still persist

arsenal444:
but please, don't do anything nasty ooo

Nasty? Nah. I won't. That's why I have decided not to visit her place, otherwise I could have stormed her place, especially after her last episode.

sapien:
Nasty? Nah. I won't. That's why I have decided not to visit her place, otherwise I could have stormed her place, especially after her last episode.

I like your courage, u are a man

The first time I spoke to my in laws was the day I went to ask her hand in marriage with me. One thing you should know is that impatience and putting pressure on your spouse is a big turn off, you have to understand that there are times people want to take a break in a relationship that has lasted that long. Don't ever call her mum again, you are going to annoy her more, if she has once supported you financially, I think she's got good in her, give her time, even if you are married and are in love, there will be times she wants to be alone

4yrs relationship?Na BSc be dat.
As it is now,just take it that this is rustication and you need to withdraw from this program.
You will need to find another institution where you can enroll and begin another journey.

Some persons be dating themselves thinking they are in a relationship..

bro, at least try exercise some patience.
she ain't blocked your number yet neither is she rejecting your calls.
but you shouldn't "rely" on the mums advice, the girl in question could have made other "plans unknown" to her.
give her some space and try sort one or two important things to keep your mind off the issue.
if after sometime she doesn't call as it is convenient by you, you could call her, but not to bug or ask about the relationship( the strained one) only to ask how she faring and as a sharp guy you gonna be able to read the writing clearly.

sapien:
Good evening, Romancelanders. It's quite a lengthy read, so bear with me.

This lady and I have been dating for the past 4 years, and I am planning on making it official later this year, though Covid-19 made my finances quite complicated recently, but things are getting back in shape.

Recently, specifically over 2 weeks ago, she suddenly stopped picking my calls. Prior to that, we haven't seen each other since September last year. She always comes up with one excuses or the other every weekend whenever I tell her to come over to my place or if I want to go over to her place to see her. I always have busy schedules during the midweek, so we usually have only weekends to see each other.

I have gone to see her mother and her siblings last year. They accepted me as a prospective in-law. The mum said she queried her daughter and she told her that I was the one she would like to spend the rest of her life with, hence the mum's invitation. Her mum usually calls me from time to time, and I do talk to her, too.

Couple of days back, I had to call the mum to report her daughter to her regarding the uncharacteristic change in her daughter's behaviour, and how, despite living in the same city, we haven't seen each other in 4 months, and how she has refused picking my calls in more than 2 weeks.

She promised to talk to her and ask her what the problem was and get back to me. I waited for some couple of days, but when I didn't see the mum's call, I had to call her back. I had to ask her to give her daughter her phone so I could talk to her and ask her some salient questions regarding our relationship. She kept saying there is no problem and that I didn't offend her, and our relationship is still standing strong. I asked if she was going through some personal issues that she could share with me and we might find a solution; she said she was perfectly okay. We settled our issues right there and then, and she promised to call back the second day.

I waited for the second day and I did not see her call. I had no choice than to call her back. Ladies and gentlemen, this girl didn't pick my calls. When she eventually picked after multiple missed calls, she was talking to someone else, while my airtime was burning out. I became enraged. I had to call the mum the second day to tell her I was no longer interested in the daughter, that she was probably seeing someone else, and she didn't have the guts to tell me.

The mum swore that her daughter is not seeing someone else, as far as she knows, and that she hasn't brought anyone to meet her. The mum is a Deeper Lifer, and from my interactions with her, she doesn't condone two-timing. She promised to talk to her daughter, that maybe we should give ourselves more time, like taking a break for a couple of months.

I am not usually this patient, and never condoned negligence and disregard in my previous relationships. However, this girl had been special to me, prior to her negligence. She was quite dedicated to me during the course of our 4-year-old relationship. She was never demanding, and was contented and altruistic, too. She helped me many times in the past, financially, whenever I was broke, and I always repaid her back, too. She was a wife material, and loved by my family as well.

The questions are;

1. Do I disregard the mum's advice?

2. Do I still give this girl another chance after her blatant negligence?

Mods, you might do well by moving this piece to the front page.

Baba take my advice, don’t go and talk to her relax that guy will dump her and she will come around , look for another girl and don’t waste your time because she in her mind think she have move on

Bola146:
I'm just speechless! Giving excuses, hummmm... 4 years relationship Despite living in the same town She is seeing someone else, maybe your communication went bad, she got another guy communicating with her, most ladies like good communication, maybe you ignore her warnings. She is definitely hiding something from you, she can't just changed suddenly, there is a smoke. Go and see her one on one and talk things out. Her mother can't choose for her, don't depend on her promise.

as a competent reader, please can you summarize it in 3 lines for me, it is already night

For 4 months, your woman has not seen you despite living in the same state with you and she is not even bothered about it. I swear, you irritate her now and if you continue to force the relationship on her, you will regret it.