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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Domestic Violence Survivor (3052 Views)
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Domestic Violence Survivor by Warrior14: 12:20am On Feb 11, 2021 |
I created this account to post this as I want to remain anonymous. I was brutally beaten by my fiance that i lived with tonight(he met my people and I have met his too) This is the second time this is happening within a space of six (6) month and I have decided to end our 4 years relationship which started when I was in my penultimate year at the University. I am staying with him not because I wasn't earning enough to get an accommodation, but because I wanted us to contribute resources and start a family. I have never been a burden on him as I constantly ensure I bought enough foodstuff at the end of each month so he pays just utility bills. I'm a professional in my field and I earn slightly above #100,000 per month. I need a place on the mainland but close to the island that i can stay for a while pending when I will be able to get my permanent accommodation. I am open to paying monthly rent starting from end of this month. I can't spend another night with this monster. I don't know how to face people tomorrow about how I come about a swollen face. The sound of my cry begging him not to kill me still echoes in my head. Modified I can't sleep. I'm sweating and shivering. My head and eyes aches. No one to talk to Nothing in me prays for this man. I am struggling not to curse him. 4 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by gini4x: 1:33am On Feb 11, 2021 |
Warrior14:Why didnt you move to an hotel for this night. It's risky sleeping over with such person. Stay safe 4 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by LilMissFavvy(f): 1:56am On Feb 11, 2021 |
You have to be strong, dust yourself up and move on. Too bad that you wasted 4years without noticing his abusive nature earlier. Also, never let the bad experience affect your future relationships with men. 3 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by LadySarah: 4:19am On Feb 11, 2021 |
Instead of calling a friend, church member/churxh or relatives, you'll rather inform strangers who you don't know if they might harm you. Use your sense this periodoo. Sorry for what you are going through. 2 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by uboma(m): 5:09am On Feb 11, 2021 |
I hope he will not further harm you when he finds out you are making plans to move out of his house? If this may be the case, it is best to file a formal report with the Police and ensure that he commits to not inflicting more harm on you in writing. You will need to look for a temporary place, don't wait till the end of the month to move out of his place. It is sad to read about your experiences, some men are simply beasts in Human clothing. 9 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Warrior14: 6:57am On Feb 11, 2021 |
LilMissFavvy: Thank you |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Warrior14: 6:59am On Feb 11, 2021 |
uboma: I'm not waiting til the end of the month 2 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by DenreleDave(m): 7:11am On Feb 11, 2021 |
Warrior14: We know there is no amount of offense dt Sud warrant beating you. Wait, are you guys engaged? If yes, no problem but if no, the below is for you. U no dey hear word... Why move in with Somone who hasn't married you? If he has be fvcking u for free, do you think he will marry you? To him, you are worthless like a piece bcoz there is notin in you that fantasize him again... He is probably looking for a WAy dispose and the best way he tot he cud succeed is maltreating you... Now he has succeeded. Pls let this be a lesson Are you guys formally engaged ![]() |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by DenreleDave(m): 7:13am On Feb 11, 2021 |
uboma: I am sure u didn't comment on this wen it made front page.... Coz u will always favor women to men.. https://www.nairaland.com/6409408/spousal-abuse-against-men-rising https://www.nairaland.com/6409445/lagos-police-arrests-landladys-daughter So lemme see what your comment was like concerning these two links I posted... But In any way I condemn violence from both sex |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Biglittlelois(f): 7:25am On Feb 11, 2021 |
Hmmm... |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by StPete: 7:30am On Feb 11, 2021 |
In as much as we sympathize with you regarding the beating you received, I hope you're not the cause. Cos sometimes infidelity on the part of the woman especially when there is glaring evidence can drive a man to his ends wit. (see below posted pix). Nonetheless I do not condone beating, best you go your separate ways before this violence ends in irreparable damage. Find a colleague, family or church acquaintance that you can stay with pending when you can get a personal accommodation
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Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Richy4(m): 7:38am On Feb 11, 2021 |
Please move out.. Assuming you were married to him, I would have started asking questions .. But letting a man who has not seen your parents beat u up because he gave u a cheap ring with a promise.. only promiseooo.. u then decide to pack in.. your dignity as a woman is really important.. Don't you like raising your head high amongst your peers.. If u die in the process, your parent will hide their faces in shame when explaining what happened to the community.. Please don't embarrass your family..they raised you better than this.. Don't move in with a man that has not paid your bride price. 2 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Orlaoluwayimika(m): 8:17am On Feb 11, 2021 |
DenreleDave: It honestly has nothing to do with being married b4 moving in with him. This is even a blessing in disguise what do u think wld ve happened if they were married. It wld ve become more difficult 4 her to move out and walk away from the marriage. It is beta she already knows d kinda person she is now cos she can easily make her decisions whether to stay or leave. @ warrior14, my little advice is it is safer for u to walk out of the rlship in one piece rather than staying back. He may come back begging u. Trust me it wld get worse than this if u gt married to him esp wen u already ve children. It wld become very difficult for u to make the decision to walk out of the marriage. Except u re ready to bear the beating for life. 3 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Orlaoluwayimika(m): 8:22am On Feb 11, 2021 |
DenreleDave: What exactly is ur point?. Domestic violence on either of the genders is bad. If a male gender is the victim, let the male gender also walk away from such relationship. If a male gender needs to defend himself from a physical assault let him do so but mind u care must be taken ooo in doing so cos if the unfortunate happens, it wld be very hard to proof he was defending himself. So the best bet is to so walk away. As a man, ur life is also very important. 3 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by mosdii(m): 8:30am On Feb 11, 2021 |
One side of a coin, you just like every typical Naija Farm Tool that will always play the victim card. Until I hear from the other side of the coin, Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by uboma(m): 10:33am On Feb 11, 2021 |
DenreleDave: Your words in bold are not entirely true. You do not know me, do not claim that you do. Look up my comments here, I have condemned women who were at fault as well. However since you already have a biased mind about me, please think whatever you wish/like. I will not oblige you any further. 3 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by uboma(m): 11:04am On Feb 11, 2021 |
1 Like |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by DenreleDave(m): 11:07am On Feb 11, 2021 |
uboma: U shud av shared faults, don't just say men are beast.. Women are beast too |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by uboma(m): 11:49am On Feb 11, 2021 |
DenreleDave: Read my comments again, I reported that 'some men are beasts in ......' Emphasis is on 'some men' who delights in beating up women at the slightest provocation. |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by DenreleDave(m): 12:30pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
uboma: Aiit noted |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by sisisioge: 12:44pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
Young woman please dont put yourself in a position where a man or any other human thinks it's ok to abuse you. Please get a hotel pending when you get something permanent, ask to sleep with a friend or colleague or Google short let hostel on the mainland to rent. It is well... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Amopeekun(f): 1:05pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
I hope she's ok o |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Teleprompter(f): 1:49pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
Congrats on realizing before it is too late. Don't make a second mistake by trusting strangers. See an agent and rent an apartment even if it is one room for now. Don't look for an easy way out. 3 Likes |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by mii4u(f): 6:25pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
mosdii:Wats ur problem with Nigerian girls bin useless all the time, U no dey tire? 1 Like |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Nobody: 7:18pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
Na See finish. Don't ever live with a man that has not married you. It reduces his respect for you. Una no dey hear word. Don't you have parents? Or any close relative that live around? Don't go and die in a man's house o. I don't know if there's anywhere on the mainland you can get an apartment that accepts monthly payment. I pray you get though. My advice. don't live with a man again until he marries you. |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Uyi168: 8:36pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
I do not support domestic violence of any kind. However, I know the story will change if the man is called upon to give his side. |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by faithfull18(f): 10:21pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
Hmmn, May God deliver women from anykind type of men. |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Yusufisraelj(m): 10:25pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
Uyi168: It doesn't matter, rather walk out of a woman or a relationship than inflict harm to her. To what end? If she reports to a police station within the current situation, he will smell small shit. 1 Like |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Uyi168: 10:29pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
Yusufisraelj:. Ok. |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by GIANTPLUSHUB: 11:43pm On Feb 11, 2021 |
mosdii: Nice one. Fear women! I condemn domestic violence on every sides but fear women. Who knows maybe the guy is also wriggling with some bodily pains but that will never be posted. Smh. |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by infogenius(m): 4:17am On Feb 12, 2021 |
Op, I am sorry about what u went through but there are a few things I need to let you know |
Re: Domestic Violence Survivor by Bola146(f): 6:04am On Feb 12, 2021 |
Don't you have parents or siblings? Call them ASAP |
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