This is my dilemma.

I haven't had a relationship in the past 4 years as I'm quite focused on stuffs I engage myself in. In fact, I only have one ex-gf who lived in a different city throughout our relationship so it wasn't really one with a direction.
Although, I'm usually engaged with work and personal research, I'm not usually bugged with the 'single' status, nevertheless, I sometimes desire to share my emotions with someone. I'm not one to date for fun, as such, my aim has always been to get a partner to marry with a plausible vision/ purpose that will complement mine.

I decided to start looking out for a lady to date. I met one about 3 weeks ago and we have been communicating frequently. Maybe due to her age, the only thing I found that seem to interest her is fun/outing. It bothers me she is clueless about what to do with her life as she swerve off the topic whenever I ask in that direction which I find very discouraging.

I just realized I have spent 20k in 3 weeks (2 outings) of meeting this lady and I think this streak will not end. This may be small for some but it doesn't look good for me considering she has shown no interest in discussing what really matters. Also, I have been looking into some investment decisions and I'm really careful about how i spend.
I feel my emotion is getting the best of me as I find it hard to let go of her, maybe because the whole experience is new.

Is there any possibility I can change her? Do i start ignoring her request to meet up or should I even forget her completely?
Is there any other way i can deal with this?

I think you're desperate to settle down that's why you're Spending and can't seem to let her go.

You Can Never Buy a Woman's Love, Even if you Spend Heaven and Earth on her

Look for a woman that share similar views as yours or i can assure that you'll end up Lamenting and Weeping and gnashing your teeth if you make the mistake of ending up with a Visionless Woman

she might not notice that, so you are a man I'll advice you to bring her attention to it peacefully

DaddyRochie1642:
I think you're desperate to settle down that's why you're Spending and can't seem to let her go.

You Can Never Buy a Woman's Love, Even if you Spend Heaven and Earth on her

Look for a woman that share similar views as yours or i can assure that you'll end up Lamenting and Weeping and gnashing your teeth if you make the mistake of ending up with a Visionless Woman

I won't even ask her out talk less of ending up with her if she continues this way.

I honestly have no intention of buying her love. She is the one pushing the cart. If she gets her way, we will be meeting on both Saturdays and Sundays every week... not in a budget-friendly joint but rather in high class joints. I've been prudent myself, else the amount would have been more than that.

MickzyDonald:
she might not notice that, so you are a man I'll advice you to bring her attention to it peacefully

It doesn't seem she is oblivious of her actions. I don't want to think she just want to milk me off but that may just be it.

The thing is, she sends too many mixed signals, and I could never understand what she means when she does things.

My people will say


Never Plan a Future With People Who Don’t Have Future Plans.

Don’t go into the future with a ‘liability’. Go into the future with people that will add value to you and increase your worth.

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.

You need to sit her down and ask her about her life, plans for her life and how she intends to achieve it. Her response will tell you more about her.

It is obvious she is the fun type and you are not. What you can do to help her at this point is telling her the truth, if not for you, for her, cos if she continues like that, she is on a long thing.

Peace.

matricx:

It doesn't seem she is oblivious of her actions. I don't want to think she just want to milk me off but that may just be it.

The thing is, she sends too many mixed signals, and I could never understand what she means when she does things.

thats the point with ladies, you won't know their actions until its too late, I'll just advice you to take her on a date, make it lively then in between you start asking her some simple questions that will make her free and laugh then you throw in the questions little by little

Talk to her bro

matricx:
This is my dilemma.

I haven't had a relationship in the past 4 years as I'm quite focused on stuffs I engage myself in. In fact, I only have one ex-gf who lived in a different city throughout our relationship so it wasn't really one with a direction.
Although, I'm usually engaged with work and personal research, I'm not usually bugged with the 'single' status, nevertheless, I sometimes desire to share my emotions with someone. I'm not one to date for fun, as such, my aim has always been to get a partner to marry with a plausible vision/ purpose that will complement mine.

I decided to start looking out for a lady to date. I met one about 3 weeks ago and we have been communicating frequently. Maybe due to her age, the only thing I found that seem to interest her is fun/outing. It bothers me she is clueless about what to do with her life as she swerve off the topic whenever I ask in that direction which I find very discouraging.

I just realized I have spent 20k in 3 weeks (2 outings) of meeting this lady and I think this streak will not end. This may be small for some but it doesn't look good for me considering she has shown no interest in discussing what really matters. Also, I have been looking into some investment decisions and I'm really careful about how i spend.
I feel my emotion is getting the best of me as I find it hard to let go of her, maybe because the whole experience is new.

Is there any possibility I can change her? Do i start ignoring her request to meet up or should I even forget her completely?
Is there any other way i can deal with this?

..
Immediately a young man start making money, the next thing, Satan, the devil does is to bring a girlfriend to his way..

InfernoNig:
My people will say


Never Plan a Future With People Who Don’t Have Future Plans.

Don’t go into the future with a ‘liability’. Go into the future with people that will add value to you and increase your worth.

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.

You need to sit her down and ask her about her life, plans for her life and how she intends to achieve it. Her response will tell you more about her.

It is obvious she is the fun type and you are not. What you can do to help her at this point is telling her the truth, if not for you, for her, cos if she continues like that, she is on a long thing.

Peace.

Thanks for this. I will surely get a time with her in a place with minimal distraction to discuss with her. She always use style to change it for me and since I wouldn't want to ruin the moment, I'll just look away. This time, I will be prepared and won't hesitate to take my leave on the spot if she should change it for me.

She has been secretive about her life and she has not cared to ask about mine. I just wonder why anyone would be like that.

MickzyDonald:

thats the point with ladies, you won't know their actions until its too late, I'll just advice you to take her on a date, make it lively then in between you start asking her some simple questions that will make her free and laugh then you throw in the questions little by little

I have actually tried this but what she does is that she stares at me as if I just passed my boundary by bringing up such discussion.
I remember asking her what her vision is and her reply was 'I don't know'
Also asked her if she has any business in mind, she would want to venture in, but she clearly didn't want to dwell on the question.

I will plan one last date and see how it goes. Thanks.

Angelacruz:
Talk to her bro

I tried to, she was just adamant.
Fear of ruining the moment wouldn't let me persist.

Uyi168:
..
Immediately a young man start making money, the next thing, Satan, the devil does is to bring a girlfriend to his way..

Blunt truth though.

But then, how long will I go without having one? At some point, I will have to settle down right?

Besides, the devil can't be the only one supplying girlfriends, God too have girlfriends in stock.. the type I desire

matricx:


Blunt truth though.

But then, how long will I go without having one? At some point, I will have to settle down right?

Besides, the devil can't be the only one supplying girlfriends, God too have girlfriends in stock.. the type I desire

.
The one on your neck, is it obvious she's from the devil?

Thank God you know the answer to your question, don't start what you can't continue please. Thanks

When it comes to a woman, locate a woman that is already on the line of your vision. Women dont need to have vision. It is you the man that will engineer their mind to love your vision. If her life revolves around fun. Then you should know the kind of partner you need at this time of life.
Fun seeking wife or Career driven woman.

Uyi168:
.
The one on your neck, is it obvious she's from the devil?

Not explicit yet but most likely so

Bola146:
Thank God you know the answer to your question, don't start what you can't continue please. Thanks

Thanks.
I already put her status on mute this morning

zexy2030:
When it comes to a woman, locate a woman that is already on the line of your vision. Women dont need to have vision. It is you the man that will engineer their mind to love your vision. If her life revolves around fun. Then you should know the kind of partner you need at this time of life.
Fun seeking wife or Career driven woman.

Thanks boss. What I need is a career-driven woman and I already decided to keep my distance as she doesn't fit in the picture

matricx:
Thanks. I already put her status on mute this morning

Pele

matricx:


[b]Is there any possibility I can change her? [/b]Do i start ignoring her request to meet up or should I even forget her completely?
Is there any other way i can deal with this?

Osheeeeey...the game girl changer

matricx:


Is there any possibility I can [b]change her? [/b]Do i start ignoring her request to meet up or should I even forget her completely?
Is there any other way i can deal with this?

Osheeeeey...the game girl changer

Bola146:


Pele

Bola146, Good evening woman of steel, how are you doing? well, as your big fan that follows you up on Nairaland, I just wanna wish you a happy weekend.

Uyi168:
..
Immediately a young man start making money, the next thing, Satan, the devil does is to bring a girlfriend to his way..

He is doing creations work nah. Or should he bring a boyfriend his way?

You talk as if you're ignorant though I hope you're smarter than you appear.

"It is not good for man to be alone..."

DaddyRochie1642:
I think you're desperate to settle down that's why you're Spending and can't seem to let her go.

You Can Never Buy a Woman's Love, Even if you Spend Heaven and Earth on her

Look for a woman that share similar views as yours or i can assure that you'll end up Lamenting and Weeping and gnashing your teeth if you make the mistake of ending up with a Visionless Woman

I even get irritated by visionless women. I noticed most Nigerian ladies are not conscious of many things.

Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

matricx:
This is my dilemma.

I haven't had a relationship in the past 4 years as I'm quite focused on stuffs I engage myself in. In fact, I only have one ex-gf who lived in a different city throughout our relationship so it wasn't really one with a direction.
Although, I'm usually engaged with work and personal research, I'm not usually bugged with the 'single' status, nevertheless, I sometimes desire to share my emotions with someone. I'm not one to date for fun, as such, my aim has always been to get a partner to marry with a plausible vision/ purpose that will complement mine.

I decided to start looking out for a lady to date. I met one about 3 weeks ago and we have been communicating frequently. Maybe due to her age, the only thing I found that seem to interest her is fun/outing. It bothers me she is clueless about what to do with her life as she swerve off the topic whenever I ask in that direction which I find very discouraging.

I just realized I have spent 20k in 3 weeks (2 outings) of meeting this lady and I think this streak will not end. This may be small for some but it doesn't look good for me considering she has shown no interest in discussing what really matters. Also, I have been looking into some investment decisions and I'm really careful about how i spend.
I feel my emotion is getting the best of me as I find it hard to let go of her, maybe because the whole experience is new.

Is there any possibility I can change her? Do i start ignoring her request to meet up or should I even forget her completely?
Is there any other way i can deal with this?

Omo she didn’t remove the money from your pocket. So the idea she is spending your money is a topic only you can solve.

She diverting the topic is funny also, if she divert it, then bring it back. Although be relax and playful and calm.

Meanwhile as for the dating streak, when you don’t feel like it don’t go.

Meanwhile don’t write her off already but don’t take her too serious. You met her and so why should it bother you about whether she takes her life seriously?

Why are you catching feelings all of a sudden?

You just met her and she has turn to the love vibes now

You now have started wedding plans in your head already....

KEEEP YOUR EMOTION IN CHECK.

She is only a girl you met, it’s your decision to make her something else, which you’re doing

matricx:

I have actually tried this but what she does is that she stares at me as if I just passed my boundary by bringing up such discussion.
I remember asking her what her vision is and her reply was 'I don't know'
Also asked her if she has any business in mind, she would want to venture in, but she clearly didn't want to dwell on the question.

I will plan one last date and see how it goes. Thanks.

Look there are some people who do not have a clear picture of how they want their life to be. Call them fatalistic. You can sway her in d direction you want her to face if she's willing

matricx:

Thanks for this. I will surely get a time with her in a place with minimal distraction to discuss with her. She always use style to change it for me and since I wouldn't want to ruin the moment, I'll just look away. This time, I will be prepared and won't hesitate to take my leave on the spot if she should change it for me.

She has been secretive about her life and she has not cared to ask about mine. I just wonder why anyone would be like that.

Hehehehehehehehhe you really like this too much o
When you say “change it for you”, how do you mean?

Anfield247:

Bola146, Good evening woman of steel, how are you doing? well, as your big fan that follows you up on Nairaland, I just wanna wish you a happy weekend.

My dear brother, good evening happy weekend, God bless you sir.