Hello guys please I need your help...I think my younger sister is heading towards the wrong path and my mom is only making it worst....

And I also created this thread to know if a 16 year old girl should be given a phone of her own(in Nigeria)...

My sister has started being so interested in boys alot and That pisses me off. A few years back when she was in school, is warned one of her so called boyfriend's who she was kissing back then and doing all sorts of rubbish with(except sex).. Now my parents made her drop out of secondary school at s.s.s 2 to write neco which she passed so she can gain admission into university ( fast)..


For some time now she has been using my mom's phone to facebook and do other stuff which I don't know of.. one time she begged me to use my phone to logging her account which I accepted.. after she was done, she forgot to log out so I took a sneek peek into her account and holy sh*t almost 85% of her friends were males... Her inbox was filled with messages from boys.. almost all of the had to do with relationship and sex related nonsenses... I was really mad because she's too young for all this bull sh*t...

When she was tired of using my mom's phone, she saved money to buy one 6k phone which after sometime, I destroyed out of anger because she was feeling like she is now grow up and all type of those nonsenses... Now she has started looking for a job, going from one place to another on her own with the help of my mom and her phone looking for somewhere she can be working to get money to buy a new phone (I think)... Someone that is about to enter university In some months time...and is supposed to be facing how to study and pass jamb.. because of the job she's looking for, she some how convinced my mom and dad to let her start going for night jamb lesson from 6pm-9pm...but I know that's not her only reason..

The most annoying part is that each time I'm beating and warning her she would start to ask me if she is a (small pikin) And my mom would be backing her

Alot has really happened in our house this past few years That I think she has been learning from... I'm the first son and she's the second.. I have warned her that I don't want to see her with my mom phone again... Guys please what do I do??

Dont force, be her friend, that way she will soften and tell you things then you can be able to advice her how to be careful with boys

She's excited to enter to enter the world, just sit her down and talk sense to her, stop flogging her you will make her more stronger and adamant, just speak calmly to her

Continue to put are through and pray for her. The present situation we are now is terrible. She is not too young to use phone but she should use it wisely. Unfortunately some young girls will not listen until they destroy their lives. Do your best and leave the rest. Call your mother too and let her know the implication of what she is doing. Give her some examples of young people who have destroyed their lives because of things like this.

If that girl is 16years and you said that she's the second child and you're the first child, then it's very easy for me to guess your age but I will not expose you.

I will only say this,
Better control that your Yeye anger towards your sister before one day you go carry frustration and kill that girl and I'll be here to read your story on Nairaland Front page titled

"Nigerian Man Kills his Sister because of phone, He Claims he did it out of Frustration and now he regrets his action"

First, this girl has tasted GBOLA

My advice, she's no longer a "small pikin" as she claimed, and there's nothing you can do to change that fact. The only thing I believe you should be doing now is getting close to her, be part of her decision making. Girls at this age makes decisions every now and then. Be Responsible for her, don't leave her alone.

Calazoto:
First, this girl has tasted gbola

My advice, she's no longer a "small pikin" as she claimed, and there's nothing you can do to change that fact. The only thing I believe you should be doing now is getting close to her, be part of her decision making. Girls at this age makes decisions every now and then. Be Responsible for her, don't leave her alone.

gbola kii you there...

Chiminemine:
gbola kii you there...

Chiminemine:
gbola kii you there...

TRUTH, they said it is bitter

Calazoto:
First, this girl has tasted gbola

My advice, she's no longer a "small pikin" as she claimed, and there's nothing you can do to change that fact. The only thing I believe you should be doing now is getting close to her, be part of her decision making. Girls at this age makes decisions every now and then. Be Responsible for her, don't leave her alone.

FACT!!

1. Phones are useful for many things and at 16, she's most definitely at the age to own one.

2. You were wrong to have destroyed her phone, knowing she saved for it. If you were a good brother, you ought to buy her another phone to make amends. You're not doing that, yet she wants to work to buy another one for herself and you're complaining. I think you're the one with the problem. She sounds like a responsible girl to me, doesn't hold grudges and understands the importance of working for the things she wants without expecting them from anyone.

3. Your beating her is barbaric and abusive, and will be counterproductive in your attempt to guide her, so stop it. You can be firm but loving in your communication with her (e.g. about the importance of facing her books and staying away from boys).

4. Start being a good role model for her to emulate (let her see you praying, reading the Bible, studying) and a positive male figure in her life.

Which kind jamb lesson dem dey do from 6pm to 9pm

Omihanifa:
Which kind jamb lesson dem dey do from 6pm to 9pm

my guy the thing just tire me ohhh...

Oh no!your approach is wrong.This is the time to make her your friend and being close to her.Gist with her your experience and guide her.Let her know that you are trying to look out for her cos you love her. No matter how you cage her,once in the uni she'll get worse.

She should get busy with a skill .Even ppl in the uni have side jobs.Cancel the night jamb stuff.Your parents should also step up by creating boundaries Like being at home latest 6pm.Lessons in the morning,skill acquisition in the afternoon .

Bring her closer to you and you'd be amazed how she'd have confidence in you and tell you lots of things.....
All you can offer her is the right advise..

Being hostile won't help, soon she will get admission into the university and you won't like the outcome cus no one will be there to advise her.

Cutehector:
Dont force, be her friend, that way she will soften and tell you things then you can be able to advice her how to be careful with boys

OP heed to this advice. forcing her to do ur biddings will only make her hate u d more. keep her close. that way u can be d big bro she runs to. more like reverse psychology.

Mr Op u can't force her to obey you...she is at the teenage stage which is synonymous with rebellion...just make her comfortable with you...then you will guide her well...it's like you and this girl are just a few years apart...no wonder she dey do like that...don't break her phone again o...u don't have the right to do that on no ground...

Night JAMB lesson

Bros, nor vex.
Just forget it

She nor go lie lie hear word..

At least, not until, something terrible happen to her..

You won't get the best out of her by continually bullying and brutalizing her. First, strive to conquer yourself, then diplomatically bring her on board to walk and work with you on your set standard and philosophy while still enjoying 100% of her liberty - this entails being conscientious in particular and selfless and generous towards her in general. No matter what approach you might adopt and how hard you might try, however, 80% of how she'll turn out lies in her hands, so sound it out to her that with 100% liberty comes personal assumption of responsibility of the consequences of her actions and inactions. Of course, she deserves a phone.

Be her leader, not her ruler.

punisha:




OP heed to this advice. forcing her to do ur biddings will only make her hate u d more. keep her close. that way u can be d big bro she runs to. more like reverse psychology.

true.

I'm yet to see what your sister did wrong

You sound too angry. Trust me, you will not achieve the result you desire if you keep treating her the way you do. You are the first and she is the second, you are quite young too and training an adolescent is no small job. I expect your mum to be doing that job instead.

Anyways, change your approach. She should see you as a friend not a threat.
Stop destroying her phone
Stop reading her chats
Do not hit her
Control your temper towards her

You want the best for her but if you do not do it the right way, you will end up pushing her into same pit you are trying to save her from. Goodluck!

Chiminemine:
Hello guys please I need your help...I think my younger sister is heading towards the wrong path and my mom is only making it worst....

And I also created this thread to know if a 16 year old girl should be given a phone of her own(in Nigeria)...

My sister has started being so interested in boys alot and That pisses me off. A few years back when she was in school, is warned one of her so called boyfriend's who she was kissing back then and doing all sorts of rubbish with(except sex).. Now my parents made her drop out of secondary school at s.s.s 2 to write neco which she passed so she can gain admission into university ( fast)..


For some time now she has been using my mom's phone to facebook and do other stuff which I don't know of.. one time she begged me to use my phone to logging her account which I accepted.. after she was done, she forgot to log out so I took a sneek peek into her account and holy sh*t almost 85% of her friends were males... Her inbox was filled with messages from boys.. almost all of the had to do with relationship and sex related nonsenses... I was really mad because she's too young for all this bull sh*t...

When she was tired of using my mom's phone, she saved money to buy one 6k phone which after sometime, I destroyed out of anger because she was feeling like she is now grow up and all type of those nonsenses... Now she has started looking for a job, going from one place to another on her own with the help of my mom and her phone looking for somewhere she can be working to get money to buy a new phone (I think)... Someone that is about to enter university In some months time...and is supposed to be facing how to study and pass jamb.. because of the job she's looking for, she some how convinced my mom and dad to let her start going for night jamb lesson from 6pm-9pm...but I know that's not her only reason..

The most annoying part is that each time I'm beating and warning her she would start to ask me if she is a (small pikin) And my mom would be backing her

Alot has really happened in our house this past few years That I think she has been learning from... I'm the first son and she's the second.. I have warned her that I don't want to see her with my mom phone again... Guys please what do I do??

Guy you be agent of darkness. Will you marry your sister. And it's guys like you that poke other people sister anyhow and dumb. Oga live your life and allow how too. But let me advice you.



The best you can do is to seat her down. Tell her about the pros and cons of having male friends. Tell her what boys wants from her body, how boys can destroy her life if she's not smart.

Talk to her like and elder brother. You don't have to shout at her or beat her.

You can use what you and your friends use to do with ladies and dump them as a story line.

Tell her the disadvantages of engaging into sex with boys at an early age. You need to educate her. This is the 21at century and u can't be monitoring her all the time. If she go bad she go bad and they is nothing you can do about it . One love

Cutehector:
Dont force, be her friend, that way she will soften and tell you things then you can be able to advice her how to be careful with boys

You be correct guy.

What do you think she would be like in the university, I doubt she'll apply for the same uni as yours.

If she carry belle her eyes go open.

Let her enjoy that flutters and tingling down there

TeemahBeddings0:
If she carry belle have eyes go open.

Let her enjoy that flutters and tingling down there

You can only talk to her . If she like make she hear , if she like make she no hear . No be you go carry belle now . Her eyes go soon clear

Them no they beat such gal, only advice you can be doing from time to time. She go end up blocking you from all media and you be in the dark. Talk to her, advice her not scolding her cause that won't work.

Listen to me OP. There's nothing, I repeat; nothing you can do to make her stop being attracted to men. She's at the age where girls start getting attention from men and it's normal. All girls pass through this phase. If you like beat here from now till tomorrow, it won't change the fact that she will still fu..... ck.
The only solution now is to not see what she's doing as ' bad' but as a biological phase all women pass through. Even pocohantas and ishilove must have passed through this phase.
Teach her about protection when she wants to have sex because to be honest, there's nothing any man on earth can do to stop a teenage girl who's willing to have sex. Tell her to use protection whenever she wants to have sex; and she should not just sleep with anybody, but only the one she truly loves.
Una never see anything. You're using an old mentality to train a teenage girl with raging hormones in this 21st century. You go flog, you go tire.
Was it not yesterday I saw Kemi, a 16 years old girl in the dark with a man, probably in his 40s discussing and laughing?