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8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend - Romance (11) - Nairaland

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Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by zudozz: 11:45pm On Mar 03, 2021
Hassanmaye:

Is true some of this women are stupid and mad I swear!! I get one I love so much during my university days she was foaming jonzbon and following bad boys up and down, she didn't have time for me, I was struggling she doesn't care, now I'm stable, she is yet to get married and in her madness she think I will pity her, time is not on her side. Hmmm

But if u loved her..U can still pity her. grin But let her know there will be no second chance..

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Sarcastic101: 12:00am On Mar 04, 2021
Wittyduchess:
Let me make this clear to you the op and the Ladies reading this ;


THE LONGER YOU DATE A GUY THE LESS LIKELY HE WILL MARRY YOU.


You see there are phases in a relationship, the important phase in a relationship is the *see finish phase* ,it is always advisable to go through this phase in marriage, this phase usually spans between the first five years of a marriage. But when the relationship prolongs it spans into the *see you finish* phase with no proper commitment.


Now I am sure he is not more than five years older than you, that even makes it worse for you my dear op. When he finally makes his millions the probability that he will want to settle down with a woman he has *see finish* and also close to his age group is very slim.

Leave or stay it's your choice, but just know one thing ,the chances that this guy will end up marrying you is 0.1% out of 100%.


If you do decide to stay, you can only force marriage out of him by getting pregnant for him. That is the only way as it stands. Goodluck with the *time waster* cos you are going to need alot of luck.
Relationship expert
I'm very sure that you don't have a successful relationship
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by djon78(m): 12:16am On Mar 04, 2021
purples25:


Of course there are other things to be gained in marriage. But this thing here is a problem.

Fertility, youth, purity, beauty.

No matter what any man says, these are the things they truly want from a woman. Yes, she can work, but a man would rather choose an almost untouched beauty without a job than a capable older, modern , experienced woman.

Therefore these relationships without closure/marriage lead to the degradation of the woman. A woman after eight years can say she wants to marry but by that time the men will be saying she is old, she must have been used, etc. Most men will avoid her and that's just the truth. As a woman gets older, no matter her wealth and degree, her options to marry get smaller. So yes, it matters for the woman that she gets some gain from whatever sexual stuff she engages in. It is important to her because that is one of the things men value in a woman. Clearly you can see she is at a loss if she gives it all for nothing, when that is part of her relished attributes. A woman giving her body is giving a very precious thing she is rated by so she loses if she gives it in charity. A man will not be rated by his body and you know this.

Knowing this fully well, men still explore the expensive and precious youth of a woman, which they know, if not for the lapse modernity has given them, they can't have that for free. Even then they will pay for this when wanting to actually SECURE a woman with such attributes as youth, fertility, purity, and beauty into their household. So what are they doing with these young women that they have all their pearls for free? Let me be plain. They are eating a very expensive meal for free. They are eating what a potential suitor would have paid for OR valued the woman dearly for.....for free.

If it was about clever and independent career women, why is this time in history the one that records the most of single women, hmm? Men are getting more and more repelled by the independent and career women. I watch videos every day where even the western men diss their women for not being sexually pure and too old. So this sex of a thing is really important for women and relationships scam her of the sexual value that she would need to get a life partner.

She loses her purity for nothing. And at the end of the day, this is one of the most inportant things you guys care for. Don't pretend that it is not.



Very intelligent analysis
This your comment is a good answer to many times young men ask whether sex is the only thing a woman offers

And also an answer to many young women that allow there lives to be wasted by unserious men

Many wise girls who understand this your Analogy wisely make there choice in choosing a spouse


I have been noticing many young women getting serious with matured but established single guys who immediately marry them

When you ask them, they say they made there choice based on a man that will value there youthfulness and comit to them
They will also tell you that most young men are unserious and very Randy

I am getting a good understanding that a woman's body is a value she brings to the union. With other intangible things and those that have this understanding rarely miss it in marriage

4 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by PoliteActivist: 12:38am On Mar 04, 2021
shadeyinka:

It doesn't work that way!
A romantic relationship demands faithfulness and commitment. This tie down the lady with the man.

Secondly, ladies are wired to expect something serious coming out of a relationship. Men are wired to look for loopholes to escape being tied down by a relationship

Dont we see all the time where a man is heart broken sometimes suicide because a lady he dated for long or even married to, went with someone else?? The same way the man may leave, so can the lady.

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by PoliteActivist: 12:41am On Mar 04, 2021
DEMZEE:


Baba wats hypergamy in the first place??

The opposite of hypogamy grin
Come on, we all know what it means

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Gloriagee(f): 12:54am On Mar 04, 2021
How old are you?

Zzor:
Sweetheart I'm on his side on this,its always wise for a lady never to date a man in her age group, a man must be stable financially before thinking marriage and he already made you understand that,the only mistake you made is dating him.Since he's not ready please look for someone who's ready and settle down with him,never let your emotions direct your thinking in marriage issues.Please let him go so as not to waste more time as you already have. Follow this tips:Cut off from a relationship that has no head way after six months to avoid stories that touch.As for me I already resolve never to date a man below 50yrs because most Nigerian men below 50 are still struggling.Such a messed up country
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by calcal: 1:10am On Mar 04, 2021
EkelediliBuhari:
Marriage is not all life is about

Focus on building yourself first... have a personal vision and drive... if you find another person along the way you move on
If he happens to be ready then you marry

But don’t marry him because he’s available and you’re “running out of time”.... who gave you time table??

Focus on your personal life and all will fall in place

Sorry, in Nigeria nothing to focus on besides what she is doing now, 8 years that's too long, stop giving the guy the thin, that's when you can move forward.

Wish you the best

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Incognito403: 2:20am On Mar 04, 2021
Zzor:
Sweetheart I'm on his side on this,its always wise for a lady never to date a man in her age group, a man must be stable financially before thinking marriage and he already made you understand that,the only mistake you made is dating him.Since he's not ready please look for someone who's ready and settle down with him,never let your emotions direct your thinking in marriage issues.Please let him go so as not to waste more time as you already have. Follow this tips:Cut off from a relationship that has no head way after six months to avoid stories that touch.As for me I already resolve never to date a man below 50yrs because most Nigerian men below 50 are still struggling.Such a messed up country
Interesting submission. However, I have a few observations.

Firstly, I thought feminists are fighting for gender equality. If yes, why are you clamouring for a man that will carry (most of) your financial responsibility? Shouldn't you be looking for someone to share the burden with?

Secondly, people's definition of financial stability defer. For some, as long as a man has a sustainable source of income he's financially stable even if he doesn't have a house or car of his own (yet).

Thirdly, don't you think it's abnormal for a man to be single till his fifties?

Finally, during all these relationships which last up to six months, I hope you won't be having sex?

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Politicapastor1: 2:28am On Mar 04, 2021
Call me. Am ready. But seriously looking for a second wife.
Rubbish. 8 good years . my sister that guy is not ready to marry you. It's better you settle with Politicalpastor now. Facebook name. Thanks



quote author=abigail11 post=99568563]I have been




dating this guy for 8 years now. My relationship with him started since my university school days.

Ever since we graduated and started working, I have been expecting him to propose to me, which he didn't.

When I confronted him, he said he needs a tangible source of income first before he will marry me.

His current salary is 60k, yet he doesn't want us to go into marriage now.

I personal told him that we can manage what we have and plan our life together since I'm also working. But he said no, his reason is that he doesn't want us to suffer.

My problem is this:
1. Time is not on my side
2. He want to make millions before he can marry me, what if it takes more years to do that?
3. I'm ready and he is not ready.
Please I need advise. I don't know what to do.[/quote]
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by IlufoyeOlamife(m): 2:40am On Mar 04, 2021
money will never be enough if you want to consider money first before getting married. marriage is like a ship untop a high sea, the success of the journey will depend on everyone inside the ship.
The truth about life is that some people don't have money before they got married, but after the marriage things begin to work for them.
some after they gave birth to children, while others their children brought wealth to the home.
As long as their is a source of income, the size of the income should not be a blockage to marriage if really both parties are ready.
most guys are ready to date, but few really want to settle down, but if u try to talk some sense into him and he insist on his old decision, my dear end the relationship and give another person a chance.

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by placeofallure(f): 2:55am On Mar 04, 2021
Zzor:
Sweetheart I'm on his side on this,its always wise for a lady never to date a man in her age group, a man must be stable financially before thinking marriage and he already made you understand that,the only mistake you made is dating him.Since he's not ready please look for someone who's ready and settle down with him,never let your emotions direct your thinking in marriage issues.Please let him go so as not to waste more time as you already have. Follow this tips:Cut off from a relationship that has no head way after six months to avoid stories that touch.As for me I already resolve never to date a man below 50yrs because most Nigerian men below 50 are still struggling.Such a messed up country


Educate me if I'm wrong please. A man in his 50s should be gearing towards becoming a grandpa, all things being equal. So if you date any such man, you'll be dating him as what? Wife, Wife number 2, Side chick or hand bag? E ma binu o, just wondering ni o.
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Ohizman73(m): 4:17am On Mar 04, 2021
tank you OP for ur post.it is rather sad that when a serious issue most especially from the Nigerian female is put on board the responses are appalling .to the extent that when an issue is thrown to the forum. the OP would have to appeal that he or she not be insulted. Then av noticed when also a sound response is given the OP doesnt value it. Most of the post put out are no different from what has been put out before. As a male let me tell you the truth,ur so called guy dating you for a whooping 8 years doesnt luv ,you but has been using to gain at ur expense and emotions inclusive sexual satisfaction . (i know of a funny case the guy wanted to marry the gal,but the gal was not interested as her major hip in the relationship was the sexual satisfaction she was getting from the relationship. To the extent that she was the one undertaking abortions at even her own expense.When the guy saw her stance,he peacefully quit. today the guy is happily married with kids,while the gal is now desperate moving from one church to another for a husband. Only God knows if she still has a womb.). Marriage is the ultimate between two dating partners except it is done for business/contract purposes that is monetary gratification and sexual gratification.So you have alright to demand for the ultimate as a partner,mind you he is either he has somebody out there from experience he is doting and would marry out of the blues with even his present condition. i wonder how you allowed such an 8 year lapse (almost a decade) and continued blindly in such a relationship and be manipulated.Do the mindful as some contributors have advised buy a ring and propose to him. his reaction would warrant your next move.I wish you the best.When you do that and he rejects the offer then of course yo dont need any more advice on what todo. but kindly let us know

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by purples25(f): 4:42am On Mar 04, 2021
djon78:



Very intelligent analysis
This your comment is a good answer to many times young men ask whether sex is the only thing a woman offers

And also an answer to many young women that allow there lives to be wasted by unserious men

Many wise girls who understand this your Analogy wisely make there choice in choosing a spouse


I have been noticing many young women getting serious with matured but established single guys who immediately marry them

When you ask them, they say they made there choice based on a man that will value there youthfulness and comit to them
They will also tell you that most young men are unserious and very Randy

I am getting a good understanding that a woman's body is a value she brings to the union. With other intangible things and those that have this understanding rarely miss it in marriage

I'm glad you got my message.

Its hard for women to make a right choice because a lot of us love romance and fun. Wanting such leads to all these relationships, but then getting degraded is the price we pay for that. Because often, being in a relationship means, to a man, that a woman should be a charity organization or philanthropist with her pus.sy.

Making the right choice not to play around, give one's vagina for free because 'it's the 21st century, that's a bitter but wise decision for a girl that is sharp and wants a spouse.

All these free for all relationships are a gamble. Win or lose, the woman has less advantage at the end.

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by PoliteActivist: 5:24am On Mar 04, 2021
Gloriagee:
How old are you? Zzor


How is that your biz cheesy She likes older guys. How old are YOU?

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by PoliteActivist: 5:32am On Mar 04, 2021
placeofallure:


Educate me if I'm wrong please. A man in his 50s should be gearing towards becoming a grandpa, all things being equal. So if you date any such man, you'll be dating him as what? Wife, Wife number 2, Side chick or hand bag? E ma binu o, just wondering ni o.

Why don't you ask Ned's first wife - they have beautiful kids. She just turned 30; he is 60
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Gloriagee(f): 5:43am On Mar 04, 2021
How polite can you be when responding to questions not addressed to you?? Next!

PoliteActivist:


How is that your biz cheesy She likes older guys. How old are YOU?
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by PoliteActivist: 5:48am On Mar 04, 2021
Gloriagee:
How polite can you be when responding to questions not addressed to you?? Next!


That's how this forum works. Also, I could have been insulting. I wasn't. I responded politely

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Mcslize: 5:50am On Mar 04, 2021
Kirkman:

Bros how you want take do am now? It's not gonna be easy for your girl cos getting a serious good guy nowadays is hard, where will she start from and with whom?

That's why I am still being lenient with her. If it is to be ladies they won't care how the guy will feel. But here I am considering how she will feel.

A lady will break up with a guy without considering how the guy will feel. They are heartless, but when the coin is turned the other way round, the guy will think about it day and night how the girl will feel if he breaks up with her.

Guys are more sympathetic than ladies. When you love a girl that's when they will Bleep you up. But when you don't love them, that's when they will treat you like a king.

Life no balance at all.

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Tilykay(m): 6:03am On Mar 04, 2021
EkelediliBuhari:
Marriage is not all life is about

Focus on building yourself first... have a personal vision and drive... if you find another person along the way you move on
If he happens to be ready then you marry

But don’t marry him because he’s available and you’re “running out of time”.... who gave you time table??

Focus on your personal life and all will fall in place

Kai... The wisdom of this fellow is something else. God bless you and invrease you more and more.

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Tilykay(m): 6:14am On Mar 04, 2021
kense88:
why not 70 ? So you can be assisting him to walk.

cheesy grin grin grin grin grin grin cheesy cheesy grin grin grin.. I never know when I started laughing in the morning. My brothers and sisters, if you wanna laugh, just come to Nigeria.. Nigerians got it all...

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Kirkman: 6:36am On Mar 04, 2021
Mcslize:


That's why I am still being lenient with her. If it is to be ladies they won't care how the guy will feel. But here I am considering how she will feel.

A lady will break up with a guy without considering how the guy will feel. They are heartless, but when the coin is turned the other way round, the guy will think about it day and night how the girl will feel if he breaks up with her.

Guys are more sympathetic than ladies. When you love a girl that's when they will Bleep you up. But when you don't love them, that's when they will treat you like a king.

Life no balance at all.
You are actually right. grin and also you don't know whether she has moved on emotionally too. Ladies are unpredictable o!
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Nellsworld(m): 6:37am On Mar 04, 2021
UjuJoan2:


I never said that money was in exchange for sex. Both man and wife enjoy sex so that’s not the issue.

But the roles are clear. The man provides, the woman tends to the children and keeps the home.

Will you wash plate? Wash the toilet? Bathe and feed the children?

Most Nigerian men consider these duties degrading and insulting. And yet they expect the woman to do all this and still provide financially. It doesn’t seem fair now does it?
Aunty remove that old thinking away, i have seen a man that is a house husband and his wife is working, he is d one taking care of the kids and they are living peacefully, gone are the days when a man solely work and his wife is at home doing house wife except the man is wealthy, even now those wealthy wouldn't allow their wives to stay at home so that the two can grow the wealth, a wife is a helper, a builder to her husband she helps him emotionally, spiritually, morally, financially, mentally, a wife determines wat her husband will be in the nxt 1-10yrs, a good wife helps her husband to grow financially, emotionally etc, but when a wife thinks that her husband should be the only person providing, that's where the issues will start coming, the woman ends up weaking the man's mental state, when he can't provide for a particular time, he wouldn't ve rest

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by shadeyinka(m): 7:08am On Mar 04, 2021
PoliteActivist:


Dont we see all the time where a man is heart broken sometimes suicide because a lady he dated for long or even married to, went with someone else?? The same way the man may leave, so can the lady.
That is an exception to the rule. The average man will prefer a sex based non committed exclusive relationship. Men don't need to love to have sex, most women find it difficult separating sex from love.

Not withstanding, it is not impossible that a marriage focused exclusive relationship cannot break up due to other reasons!

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Realhommie(m): 7:19am On Mar 04, 2021
Sarcastic101:

Relationship expert
I'm very sure that you don't have a successful relationship
Hahahahahaha..

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by rolams(m): 7:54am On Mar 04, 2021
Continue!

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by authority2006(m): 8:15am On Mar 04, 2021
UjuJoan2:


Oh it’s easy to respect a man in a marriage. What’s difficult is keeping up with the God complex most Nigerian men have.

I don’t mind oh, but you need to match that with taking full financial responsibility.

Is that not the reason why many women who more financially okay than their husbands are not enjoying their marriages?

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by DedeNkem: 8:49am On Mar 04, 2021
BlessedNuel:
Eeeheya.....dx matter get as e be

The person that will comment after me will surely have something to tell you.

How old are you? 8?
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by DedeNkem: 8:54am On Mar 04, 2021
abigail11:
I have been dating this guy for 8 years now. My relationship with him started since my university school days.

Ever since we graduated and started working, I have been expecting him to propose to me, which he didn't.

When I confronted him, he said he needs a tangible source of income first before he will marry me.

His current salary is 60k, yet he doesn't want us to go into marriage now.

I personal told him that we can manage what we have and plan our life together since I'm also working. But he said no, his reason is that he doesn't want us to suffer.

My problem is this:
1. Time is not on my side
2. He want to make millions before he can marry me, what if it takes more years to do that?
3. I'm ready and he is not ready.
Please I need advise. I don't know what to do.

If he earns 60k, how much do you earn?
Marriage is not easy without enough finance and stable income, especially, when children start arriving.
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by darmilolah(m): 10:23am On Mar 04, 2021
Godoverevery:
what is your contribution towards this financially.

Marriage require alot.....him marrying you isn't the prob but life after wedding is the issh.

Just this week alone .....money I drop for feeding have double....my fiancee went to the market yesterday and i had to spend almost double of what I normally spend... cost of living is too high.

if he is on 60k and you can come up with 30k you have a shout but if you aren't contributing just free the man abeg.

Even that 90k is just for both of them, imagine the expenses from when madam is pregnant... I smh, a frustrated man is an angry man o.

This is why most home don’t last nowadays. If the wife ask for money for this and money for that and Oga can not provide. Wahala don start, before you know it small small insult don enter. Gbasgbo will follow

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by trilacos: 10:24am On Mar 04, 2021
Hmmm
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by darmilolah(m): 10:27am On Mar 04, 2021
PAWG:



Oga she works too and probably earns as much or even more than he does. I dey find this kind understanding babe, I think I've found her, time till tell.

Hope you know what always happen to women once they get pregnant and after delivery. Most can’t cope with home front and work. Hence they resign. Then rely only on what Oga bring to table.

When Oga can’t meet up. Wahala don start be that.

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by PAWG(m): 10:49am On Mar 04, 2021
darmilolah:


Hope you know what always happen to women once they get pregnant and after delivery. Most can’t cope with home front and work. Hence they resign. Then rely only on what Oga bring to table.

When Oga can’t meet up. Wahala don start be that.


This particlar lady seems like she has 'sense' and won't allow the guy to bear too much, she just wants him to be bold and move the relationship to the 'permanent site'.

1 Like

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