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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! (11210 Views)
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Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by mariahAngel(f): 3:42pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: You're too anxious and anxiety doesn't solve anything. It only make matters worse (as it is already taking its toll on you, and you taking it out on your wife) You have let the desperation to have a child overwhelm you and it might swallow you up. What you need now more than anything is peace. 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 3:44pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Romanoff: Did you mean adoption is costlier than surrogacy? Check again.. surrogacy = donor egg + IVF + surrogate mom |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Romanoff(f): 3:47pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: No. I didn't say adoption is costlier. Of course, surrogacy is expensive. I know a surrogate who earned 5mill for carrying twins. |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Winneygirl(f): 3:56pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: I know we are trying to not talk about the underlying issues but this is what I feel based on what you have posted. If there are uterine issues such as fibroids or adhesions, they can prevent implantation. I know some doctors will review and feel that it will not interfere with the procedure and proceed with the ET however, IVF is not 100% so we can't tell. So I'm saying, if we have not successfully treated the uterine issues, chances of a successful ivf treatment will remain low. This is where I ask about alternative medicine for treatment of uterine troubles. Also, I hope other issues like rhesus-incompatibility have been ruled out. 2 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 4:01pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
mariahAngel: Thanks. I have been mute but decided to open up here so I am not swallowed up. If peace you mean is to keep quiet and keep repeating cycles... Then I don't understand you. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Taal17: 4:01pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: It is immature to think or believe that fertility is dependent on abortions fertility in men and women is multi-factorial You hate and despise your wife because you think she has made you infertile cos she hasn't been able to conceive? This is less about the children or lack of, it is more about why did you get married? Because if it was for children then you didn't need to get married. You may be carrying the burden emotionally and financially but do remember it is still her that bares the physical burden of this journey so please be kind. The late Ibidun had done IVF 11 lost 3 babies and hers stemmed from an appendicitis surgery 5 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 4:02pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Romanoff: Okay. I wanted us to understand each other. |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Romanoff(f): 4:05pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: I'm just saying it could also be an option, unless you're incapable of loving an adopted child. And I did say I pray God blesses you to be able to afford surrogacy. |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by DeeMain(m): 4:07pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor, if a hysterectomy was done on her what are the chances of a successful implantation during IVF? Or does a successful implantation not need a healthy uterus? I am not a medical expert o but my question is to test the reality you were working with, to check whether you were throwing a bad solution on a tough problem. Peace. |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Taal17: 4:10pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: I truly empathise, It is good you are talking and letting this all out. There are support groups/threads here for those trying to conceive --in the health section |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 4:14pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Taal17:People marry for different reasons. Mine should not be about another person's reason. Yes I consider her too that's why I am here venting. Else we won't be having these exchanges here. Thanks 5 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Angelacruz: 4:17pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Y not opt for adoption,crptic pregnancy,invitrofertilizatn,surrogacy etc...rather dan divorce IntentionTremor: |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 4:23pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
DeeMain:It certainly does need a healthy womb o. We didn't do the hyster procedure! Doing the procedure means good bye to TTC. We changed doctor , went on recommendation. New doctor/team started afresh, did some crazy injections on the womb for some months before starting a new ivf cycle...that still failed after transfer. Thanks 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 4:23pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Angelacruz: Please re read my original post. Thanks |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Angelacruz: 4:27pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor:give a try to surrogacy |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Saintmary(f): 4:32pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: As a woman, TTC for nine whole years must be driving your wife crazy. Your inability to support her is only compounding her problem. If her ova are still viable, let your specialists use her eggs with your sperm, then make your baby with your surrogate. Your baby will be biologically yours, your surrogate gets compensated, everybody wins. Good luck. 2 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by DeeMain(m): 4:39pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: In that case a solution is still feasible for your wife. I know you are frustrated and exhausted but there are still solutions out there that are not mainstream but are efficacious. Somebody on this thread mentioned alternative medicine/alternative solutions. I might be of some help to you regarding that if you become interested in embracing such solutions. Peace. |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by talk2ibk(m): 4:41pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Dear OP, First, you need to take your mind away from all these so also your wife if you both want to have children... Learn to make love not having sex for children, it might be hard but that's what it takes Second, pray... You might need to go on a spiritual journey too e.g fasting... There are some fasting that receives immediate result but you might not be able to do such... Except you are determined. Thirdly, love your wife dearly if you want to have children... I repeat, love her dearly... Let her also take her mind away from child thought... Believe me. Lastly, you might need to visit your father in the Lord... Or if you're born again, hear from the Holy Spirit... He will guide you too... Shalom |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 4:43pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Taal17: I have been following one already. Thanks |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Remijuice: 4:47pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Abeg make Una try to read through before asking the OP same questions that he has answered before,, thanks. And secondly, you people should be logical than being emotional towards this whole issue.. I don't see anything wrong with him getting a second wife though! 6 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 4:51pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
adadike: Hahahaha You're so funny! Thanks 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by mariahAngel(f): 4:55pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: Not necessarily to keep quiet, but don't lose your mind in the process. |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 5:01pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Romanoff: Adoption now? NO. Surrogacy? I don't even want to try it. Amen to your prayers. 2 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 5:07pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Winneygirl: I won't spill further details to keep ID anonymous. But the pre IVF uterine procedures done for months cost a fortune...and they were successful. But unfortunately IVF still failed And right now the option the doctors have last on the table is surrogacy...to avoid transfer failures. Reason I opened this thread . The idea is making me sick! No rhesus issues. 2 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Ginaz(f): 5:11pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: So sorry . was it a medical (drugs) or surgical (D n c) abortion she did? Girls should be careful about this abortion thing. May God grant open her womb and grant her a child. 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by pozehnani(f): 5:14pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
JidennaJason: Ouch! 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 5:15pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Saintmary: I give it to her, she's a strong woman. But did I read "inability to support her"? I will take it cause I opened the thread and asked to be talked to! You think it's that easy psychologically doing surrogacy for a young man not to have his young wife preggy naturally. The cost implications aside cause we've spent and been spent on this matter...the will to try it is the issue now. Thanks anyways 4 Likes |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 5:16pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
mariahAngel: Thanks. I hope so too |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 5:21pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
DeeMain: I am very open to exhaust those alternatives. Don't hesitate to share with me. Thanks |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Ginaz(f): 5:24pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: Was it a D and C she did? Pls answer. I could link you up with a doctor here in delta. |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by IntentionTremor: 5:25pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
Ginaz: Dissecting the abortion won't give me the children. Lol. But it was a d and c. Amen to your prayer 1 Like |
Re: Childless For 9 Years: Help! I'm Losing My Mind To Depression! by Ginaz(f): 5:28pm On Mar 07, 2021 |
IntentionTremor: I could talk to a family doctor of mine . he is very good at his work, I happened to come across him when my mom was sick with fibroid. He was the one who God used to save her . multiple fibroids was no joke. At his office you would see women coming to gift him gifts of appreciation everyday. Some couldn't conceived. If you feel you're ready I could send a mail to you. |
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