BadRadio:
if that's ur dp... then u look really good for me

Thank you, that's really me

BadRadio:
if that's ur dp... then u look really good for me

oh that's really me.

79733139:
Most of them didn't develop their social skills. They basically don't know how to make friends and they don't know how to approach (and take rejections) the opposite sex.

In Nigeria, their social life was structured and for guys, money might have played a big issue in dating. However, in western countries, you need to be proactive about your social life and having money doesn't give you a big edge when it comes to dating.

We also have Nigerian females who believe women shouldn't try and approach a guy to spark his interest.

It's not as simple as that. Black girls in the UK generally have a hard time finding relationships because native white girls outnumber them 1000 to 1. The ratio is even worse for black African girls who are recent immigrants (unless you are a millionaire'£ daughter) because they have to compete with native black British girls (especially them mixed raced ones ), Asian girls and other white recent immigrants like Eastern Europeans.

Even amongst black African girls who are recent immigrants, Nigerian girls will have to compete with fellow recent immigrants/students from other African countries who tend to have a much much more relaxed attitude towards s3x and are up for whatever.

Add to that the various single mums, divorcees (and married women) who mostly have their own places, can take care of themselves and are not too fussed about you having other girls.

To make matters worse, native white British men are not like their mainland European counterparts. They are not too relaxed about dating black girls compared to native white British women who would openly date an African "just off the boat", as they say.

As you can see it can be very tough for Nigerian girls in the UK. Remember white girls in UK are in their comfort zone with good network and family support, so they are more open and available for fun, hook ups and other risky behaviour. They don't have any family or relatives to worry about or send money. They worry only about themselves and can survive for months without any job, and still not ask their boyfriend for money.

VanillaIyce:

oh that's really me.

How about I give u a vanilla treat @ coldstone... u can call it a date, no probs

BadRadio:
How about I give u a vanilla treat @ coldstone... u can call it a date, no probs

Oh that's so sweet of you.

neurosci:


Did you answer my question at all? Have you lived abroad? The US or Canada specifically. If you have not, leave this topic for those who have. When you get there, try the things you said and then come back to tell me how it went.

What you don't understand is that what you're describing above is more of a cultural thing as opposed to a mere skill. Have you ever wondered why people don't cold approach the opposite sex in the streets here like they do in Nigeria? Have you ever entered a public bus or train here and seen how people are quiet, heads locked down on their phones? Why do you think dating apps are the main means of finding relationships here as opposed to just walking up to strangers?

Your writing shows you've never been here, otherwise you would not have said what you said regarding a white girl smiling at you. When a white girl smiles at you, take it seriously at your own peril.

Innocently naughty. Smh

Must I live abroad before I understand how to approach women? Approaching women is a skill and many sucks at it. We watch guys doing cold approach on YouTube, real life and I never see where a white girl act so mean and all that.

If you can't approach ladies one on one and only resort only to dating apps, how will you boost your self confidence as a man?

Even on a dating app, it takes a man who understands women to pull lots of them out of their shells. The moment you make a woman feels she is above you, you've defeated the whole purpose of approaching such a woman.

You chatting with a lady and you are being all official do you think she will reason you?

Stop making ladies feel on high heel. That's the point. It doesn't take alot to make a woman giggles. The moment you start looking down on yourself before any lady, she is gone.

Women love confident men. White women are still very lenient to approach. I don't know your experience but it seems you are not good with women from the look of things.

Mcslize:


Must I live abroad before I understand how to approach women? Approaching women is a skill and many sucks at it. We watch guys doing cold approach on YouTube, real life and I never see where a white girl act so mean and all that.

If you can't approach ladies one on one and only resort only to dating apps, how will you boost your self confidence as a man?

Even on a dating app, it takes a man who understands women to pull lots of them out of their shells. The moment you make a woman feels she is above you, you've defeated the whole purpose of approaching such a woman.

You chatting with a lady and you are being all official do you think she will reason you?

Stop making ladies feel on high heel. That's the point. It doesn't take alot to make a woman giggles. The moment you start looking down on yourself before any lady, she is gone.

Women love confident men. White women are still very lenient to approach. I don't know your experience but it seems you are not good with women from the look of things.

Man, I'm done with this. Get here, do stuff then message me back. Don't tell me about YouTube.

VanillaIyce:


Oh that's so sweet of you.

would you oblige me by leaving a number I can call in this mail loadedplugz@yahoo.com

neurosci:


Man, I'm done with this. Get here, do stuff then message me back. Don't tell me about YouTube.

There are still guys here who are dating white girls. White girls are friendly than our black ladies.

A white girl will be so willing to help you out than your fellow black girl. Don't tell me you don't know any of your friend who is dating a white girl if you live abroad.

neurosci:


Man, I'm done with this. Get here, do stuff then message me back. Don't tell me about YouTube.

I like smiles. And personally, I would always prefer walking up to say hello to a lady that just smiled at me than one who was frowning or had a neutral facial disposition... the rejection would always be softer/more polite (which is what I like).

neurosci:


Smiling here is cultural, it may or may not have anything to do with flirting. People smile at you just because of an accidental eye contact. This doesn't happen in Nigeria or anywhere else. It is purely an american/canadian thing. Your biggest mistake would be to assume that a white girl smiling at you is necessarily trying to flirt or you said something. The reality is that you don't even have to say anything funny before she smiles. Just be walking by and make an accidental eye contact and what you get is a smile. That is the culture here, and there are lots and lots of studies that have been conducted on it, and the running joke is that "When a stranger on the street smiles at you: a. you assume he is drunk. b. he is insane. c. he's an American". In fact, it is commonly called the american smile, aka cut-and-paste smile, due to how superficial it is. Again, it is NOT the same everywhere, it is an American thing!

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/05/why-americans-smile-so-much/524967/
https://usvisagroup.com/americans-smile-much-strange-americanisms/
https://news.avclub.com/americans-are-creeping-out-the-rest-of-the-world-by-smi-1798261438

On this smile issue, I personally conducted a study on it (in addition to my research on feminism) when I got here, so this is a subject I'm very curious about.

Mcslize:


There are still guys here who are dating white girls. White girls are friendly than our black ladies.

A white girl will be so willing to help you out than your fellow black girl. Don't tell me you don't know any of your friend who is dating a white girl if you live abroad.

If you read every one of my post carefully, you will know I never said Nigerians/black men don't date white girls. But anyway, let's forget about this and move onto something more productive.

And that is exactly what I prefer. A more polite and friendly rejection... It always looks a lot better than hisses and frowns.

neurosci:


Look, I'm not here to dispute that fact. What I'm saying is that, what is considered polite can vary from culture to culture. So, if a guy does those things you mentioned to a Nigerian girl in Nigeria, the result might slightly be different when he does that to a white girl in Canada. They would not necessarily consider him a nuisance, as a matter of fact, the Canadian girl would likely respond with the "oh my gosh you're so sweet...." line with a big smile on her face. She is more likely going to be polite and friendlier than the Nigerian girl". But after a while, you will eventually realize how superficial all that was. This definitely does not apply in all cases because everyone is difference, but in general, this is how it goes. Talk to people who have done these things a lot about their experiences.

79733139:
I like smiles. And personally, I would always prefer walking up to say hello to a lady that just smiled at me than one who was frowning or had a neutral facial disposition... the rejection would always be softer/more polite (which is what I like).

And you know what's funny? I can tell you that no girl will ever frown at you here! I have never seen an oyibo guy or girl frown at me or anyone else EVER since I came here. Unless you do something extremely terrible. The weirdest part is, even when you offend them or say something mean, they will still smile at you. But if you take that for friendship, you're on a lonnnng thing. In fact, my first culture shock when I arrived in the US was the smile. Right from the airport in New York, there was this girl who just kept smiling at me. Initially, I thought maybe she knew me from somewhere, but it was less than an hour since I arrived so she couldn't have known me anywhere. But she just kept smiling. Bro, I can write a whole book about this smile issue in America. But trust me, all that smile na wash. I would rather earn someone's smile than get a fake smile.

79733139:
And that is exactly what I prefer. A more polite and friendly rejection... It always looks a lot better than hisses and frowns.

The last time I heard a hiss was in Nigeria; I don't even think that exists here. But still, all na fake. I prefer realness to fakeness. I want a genuine smile, not something you just do because it is the norm. At least when you frown at me, I know you hate me and I can avoid you. And when you smile, I know you like me and I can approach you. But these ones that smile whether they like or hate you, how do you deal with such people?

neurosci:

If you read every one of my post carefully, you will know I never said Nigerians/black men don't date white girls. But anyway, let's forget about this and move onto something more productive.

If you believe that black guys date white girls then you will agree with me that they did that simply by talking to those girls. You can't keep mute and expect to have a good woman. In the process of talking to women of all sort, you will meet the one that suits you.


Why not give it a try? Try and talk to a white girl every forthnight. Don't be concerned about rejection. Just do it for fun.

Exchanging pleasantries with a girl in the bus won't take a thing off you. So pay less attention to how she will react.

I don't think a white girl will slap or react badly simply by asking her what song she is listening to when catching the bus or train. That's how black guys land white girls as gfs.

You must learn to talk to someone. It's not a sin to talk. Who give a fvck about how she will look at me?

The issue is that most guys outrightly condemn themselves even before they utter a word to a girl.

They feel a girl will react badly and the girl will look down on them and all of those unncessary condemnations.

Not so many white girls are as intelligent as blacks. Some don't even know anything aside their countries. So, why should a black guy feel intimidated approaching white girls.

You killed no one by doing that. You are simply expanding your social circle.

Maybe I oversimplified things, I don't live in Canada or UK and I am a guy... so I definitely see things differently.

OnlyDeCapPlease:


It's not as simple as that. Black girls in the UK generally have a hard time finding relationships because native white girls outnumber them 1000 to 1. The ratio is even worse for black African girls who are recent immigrants (unless you are a millionaire'£ daughter) because they have to compete with native black British girls (especially them mixed raced ones ), Asian girls and other white recent immigrants like Eastern Europeans.

Even amongst black African girls who are recent immigrants, Nigerian girls will have to compete with fellow recent immigrants/students from other African countries who tend to have a much much more relaxed attitude towards s3x and are up for whatever.

Add to that the various single mums, divorcees (and married women) who mostly have their own places, can take care of themselves and are not too fussed about you having other girls.

To make matters worse, native white British men are not like their mainland European counterparts. They are not too relaxed about dating black girls compared to native white British women who would openly date an African "just off the boat", as they say.

As you can see it can be very tough for Nigerian girls in the UK. Remember white girls in UK are in their comfort zone with good network and family support, so they are more open and available for fun, hook ups and other risky behaviour. They don't have any family or relatives to worry about or send money. They worry only about themselves and can survive for months without any job, and still not ask their boyfriend for money.

Focusmind:
Lonliness made me to return back home after my masters in 2010.

After getting a caregiver job in Perth with accommodation, the job was so monotonous that I felt I was in prison. The hourly rate for the job was okay with free meals and accommodation, I was still missing the get together with former colleagues in Lagos, the TGIF and the weekend get together, the travel to my village for celebrations. . I love village events and celebrations. Those from the East will understand.

If you are a hyper social type of person, adjusting living abroad will be difficult for you. Nigeria is still far from what I would have love her to be but I wouldn't trade in my happiness, social life, freedom, status, family, power and career aspirations for abroad.

Each to his or her own, but my life and success lies here.

Perth is even far from the rest of Australia. hope you still have access to go back cos buharinomics is coming for you.

79733139:
Maybe I oversimplified things, I don't live in Canada or UK and I am a guy... so I definitely see things differently.

I'm a guy too

Sounds like a business opportunity.

Run social events and clubs specifically for this market. You can even set up a matchmaking service.

this is for people abroad. make Dem give me visa before I comment my reserves

gnykelly:


Perth is even far from the rest of Australia. hope you still have access to go back cos buharinomics is coming for you.

Not the Australian Perth but Scottish Perth in UK. There is also a city called Perth in Scotland, Uk

Mcslize:


Must I live abroad before I understand how to approach women? Approaching women is a skill and many sucks at it. We watch guys doing cold approach on YouTube, real life and I never see where a white girl act so mean and all that.

If you can't approach ladies one on one and only resort only to dating apps, how will you boost your self confidence as a man?

Even on a dating app, it takes a man who understands women to pull lots of them out of their shells. The moment you make a woman feels she is above you, you've defeated the whole purpose of approaching such a woman.

You chatting with a lady and you are being all official do you think she will reason you?

Stop making ladies feel on high heel. That's the point. It doesn't take alot to make a woman giggles. The moment you start looking down on yourself before any lady, she is gone.

Women love confident men. White women are still very lenient to approach. I don't know your experience but it seems you are not good with women from the look of things.

Guy when you get abroad you can really contribute to this conversation ,don't just sit in your house in Nigeria and form scope master.

I would assume the best but prepare for the worst outcome. And after hundreds of approaches, I would have developed the ability to perceive which smile is fake or real, that's how I currently learn a lot of things socially.

neurosci:

The last time I heard a hiss was in Nigeria; I don't even think that exists here. But still, all na fake. I prefer realness to fakeness. I want a genuine smile, not something you just do because it is the norm. At least when you frown at me, I know you hate me and I can avoid you. And when you smile, I know you like me and I can approach you. But these ones that smile whether they like or hate you, how do you deal with such people?

stubbornman:


Guy when you get abroad you can really contribute to this conversation ,don't just sit in your house in Nigeria and form scope master.

Don't reply with a different account. I know it's you Neurosci.

You simply scared of talking to white girls maybe that's why.

It's nobody fault. Try and reach out to people irrespective of their color. Low self esteem is the greatest disease of the black race.

There are many threads here on Nairaland that will teach you how to talk to girls. E.g Hardon thread. Then if you don't want to be a woman wrapper, check out Glycolysis thread. They are all insightful. Stop being scared of talking to white girls. They won't bite you.

The problem from what I have seen is that Nigerians travel abroad with our naija mentality of socializing and expect it to work as they do here.
Guys are looking for whom to hook for card.
Babes the same.
These guys know.

They are studying you.

Most times they only need sex from you especially the ladies and if they want kid, they go to their people.

The way Ghanaian, eg behave abroad is so diff from how Nigerian behave and u wonder why they penetrate the society easily. You are just one of their sexual fantasies.
And sometimes, take natural interest in their problems cos they will tell you and allow the rest to unfold gradually.

Mcslize:


Don't reply with a different account. I know it's you Neurosci.

You simply scared of talking to white girls maybe that's why.

It's nobody fault. Try and reach out to people irrespective of their color. Low self esteem is the greatest disease of the black race.

There are many threads here on Nairaland that will teach you how to talk to girls. E.g Hardon thread. Then if you don't want to be a woman wrapper, check out Glycolysis thread. They are all insightful. Stop being scared of talking to white girls. They won't bite you.

Haha interesting

I am eager to be outside this country and be lonely.

You mean o shock e b'akan?

It amazes you because you never travel.

When you travel you will understand

If you are a jaiye jaiye type of person abroad is not for you. You can be living in a place for years and don't even know who your next door neighbor is