I hate topics like this on nairaland because it is the fool that hasnt smelt muritala mohammed airport that will have the biggest opinon about why abroad is not boring

however as it goes abroad is not boring if you are under 25 years of age and totally unaware. it is when you are over 25 and you start developing a high sense of self worth about yourself and yet you look-around and see that your race as depicted as the most wretched on British or american TV, then you also start to look at all the bills you are paying even on stuff that you own and have fully paid for, and then you start to feel out of place and lonely as you start to get racially aware, THATS WHEN IT ALL STARTS CRASHING DOWN SPIRITUALLY AND MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY FOR YOU and then depression kicks in and suicidal thougts. and if you are fortunate enough to come from a rich background you can pack your potmato and run back to naija. but if you have nothing to your name and your family is poor ? you must try to exist in this hellish spiritual and mental and emotional prison and there is no way out for you. just try not to commit suicide. depresson is allowed

neurosci:


Smiling here is cultural, it may or may not have anything to do with flirting. People smile at you just because of an accidental eye contact. This doesn't happen in Nigeria or anywhere else. It is purely an american/canadian thing. Your biggest mistake would be to assume that a white girl smiling at you is necessarily trying to flirt or you said something. The reality is that you don't even have to say anything funny before she smiles. Just be walking by and make an accidental eye contact and what you get is a smile. That is the culture here, and there are lots and lots of studies that have been conducted on it, and the running joke is that "When a stranger on the street smiles at you: a. you assume he is drunk. b. he is insane. c. he's an American". In fact, it is commonly called the american smile, aka cut-and-paste smile, due to how superficial it is. Again, it is NOT the same everywhere, it is an American thing!

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/05/why-americans-smile-so-much/524967/
https://usvisagroup.com/americans-smile-much-strange-americanisms/
https://news.avclub.com/americans-are-creeping-out-the-rest-of-the-world-by-smi-1798261438

On this smile issue, I personally conducted a study on it (in addition to my research on feminism) when I got here, so this is a subject I'm very curious about.

E go shock am I swear

Randy91:


If u like dont delete that mentality that Nigeria has put in u that "A guy will approach u first"...LONELINESS go kee u ; D

Maybe if we check now, u fit no even FINE as MOsT of you Nigerian Ladies in abroad are VERY WUGLY

see wickedness

Starzo:

guy I dey try give u small SmackDown but instead of u to pretend like say e pain u small, u come dey write epistle...
nawa for Nigerians o
una no Sabi support person ministry at all... mtchwwww

I don't understand what you wrote up there, can you please type it in English?

lekki1444:
I hate topics like this on nairaland because it is the fool that hasnt smelt muritala mohammed airport that will have the biggest opinon about why abroad is not boring

however as it goes abroad is not boring if you are under 25 years of age and totally unaware. it is when you are over 25 and you start developing a hiigh sense of self worth about yourself and yet you lookaround and see that your race as depcted as the most wretched on britsh or american TV, then you also start to look at all the bills you are paying even on stuff that you own and have fully paid for, and then you start to feel out of place and lonely as you start to get racially aware, THATS WHEN IT ALL STARTS CRASHING DOWN SPIRITUALLY AND MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY FOR YOU and then depresson kicks in and suicidal thougts. and if you are fortunate enough to come from a rich background you can pack your potmato and run back to naija. but if yu have nothing toyour name and your family is poor ? you must try to exist in this hellish spiritual and mental and emotonal prison and there is no way out for you. just try not to commit suicide. depresson is allowed

eyhaaa...sorry u hear

Mcslize:


Must I live abroad before I understand how to approach women? Approaching women is a skill and many sucks at it. We watch guys doing cold approach on YouTube, real life and I never see where a white girl act so mean and all that.

If you can't approach ladies one on one and only resort only to dating apps, how will you boost your self confidence as a man?

Even on a dating app, it takes a man who understands women to pull lots of them out of their shells. The moment you make a woman feels she is above you, you've defeated the whole purpose of approaching such a woman.

You chatting with a lady and you are being all official do you think she will reason you?

Stop making ladies feel on high heel. That's the point. It doesn't take alot to make a woman giggles. The moment you start looking down on yourself before any lady, she is gone.

Women love confident men. White women are still very lenient to approach. I don't know your experience but it seems you are not good with women from the look of things.

Dude you don't know what you are talking about. Leave Nigeria first then you will understand it's not just about skill. It's as much about the other person than whatever you have to offer.

I have seen white girls dating very ugly black boys and when you walk up to them they tell you they are in a committed relationship. When you ask the guy how he got her he will say they attend a class together and she just took an interest in him.

I have seen cases where white girls will help you, give you money and even cook for you but won't date you for any reason. If you take those gestures as a sign that you have skills, you are in for the rudest shock of your life when she tells you that she is just your friend and doesn't want anything more.

Dey there dey deceive yourself.

neurosci:


I don't understand what you wrote up there, can you please type it in English?

na this attitude make nobody wan associate with you for Yankee so.
you're to serious. You don't even realize when someone is only trying to pull your legs.

Draslo:
Introverts are lonely everywhere

Actually, extroverts are likely to feel lonelier that introverts. An introvert doesn't care about going out and can stay indoors for days.

neurosci:

The last time I heard a hiss was in Nigeria; I don't even think that exists here. But still, all na fake. I prefer realness to fakeness. I want a genuine smile, not something you just do because it is the norm. At least when you frown at me, I know you hate me and I can avoid you. And when you smile, I know you like me and I can approach you. But these ones that smile whether they like or hate you, how do you deal with such people?

You just like them and know the limit to what you can take, atleast no matter how bad things become (IE if they don't end up killing you getting you to jail) it is a win, you most likely learn some stuff from the person.

But your frown has prevented me entirely from knowing something cool about you, maybe something we can could collaborate and do stuff.

A smiling culture is great.

My favourite state in Nigeria is because of their smiling culture, I can't get enough of that. Everyday commute to work in that state is met with smiles and I communicate with atleast 5 strangers a day with ease.

Compare that with my present state, you just have to put in a lot of effort to approach people.

A smiling culture is better, or I guess this is one of those personality induced choice.

Mcslize:


There are still guys here who are dating white girls. White girls are friendly than our black ladies.

A white girl will be so willing to help you out than your fellow black girl. Don't tell me you don't know any of your friend who is dating a white girl if you live abroad.

Everything is by time and chance. Of course there are. But what is the success rate of guys trying to date white girls abroad? Out of every 10 guys trying maybe one or two get it and some of those white girls are probably some junkie or never-do-wells. Most of them are also overweight girls that can't attract their interests.

Mcslize:


Lol, that entitlement part is something ladies really need to look into. Once you ask a Nigeria girl out, she will start pouring all her problems on you. That's very bad.

They won't think of how they can support a guy but know only how to take from a guy.

That's guys should put sentiment aside when choosing a life partner.

Dating a liability will drill a big hole on a guy's pocket let alone choosing such as a lifetime partner.

I laugh when I see ladies praying God bless my future husband with wealth. And I ask myself, will it be bad if God bless them for their husbands?

Some are just too lazy. And their only hope is marrying a rich guy which doesn't work these days. Rich guys are now looking for rich girls. So no one will use the other.

That's one thing I hate about Nigerian ladies , you can't even just be friendly with them for minutes without them trying to bring financial problems to you once they sense you are comfortable ... Even a lady that greets me daily at a place I frequent and she recently collected my phone number only to greet me twice on what's app and then next thing she starts telling about her visa issues and how she is short of money to complete it ...I just taya again , I sent her the money and immediately blocked her ..no time for people with such baggages right now

Mcslize:



If you believe that black guys date white girls then you will agree with me that they did that simply by talking to those girls. You can't keep mute and expect to have a good woman. In the process of talking to women of all sort, you will meet the one that suits you.


Why not give it a try? Try and talk to a white girl every forthnight. Don't be concerned about rejection. Just do it for fun.

Exchanging pleasantries with a girl in the bus won't take a thing off you. So pay less attention to how she will react.

I don't think a white girl will slap or react badly simply by asking her what song she is listening to when catching the bus or train. That's how black guys land white girls as gfs.

You must learn to talk to someone. It's not a sin to talk. Who give a fvck about how she will look at me?

The issue is that most guys outrightly condemn themselves even before they utter a word to a girl.

They feel a girl will react badly and the girl will look down on them and all of those unncessary condemnations.

Not so many white girls are as intelligent as blacks. Some don't even know anything aside their countries. So, why should a black guy feel intimidated approaching white girls.

You killed no one by doing that. You are simply expanding your social circle.

Nicely said once more, I just believe that guy has no game.

Starzo:

na this attitude make nobody wan associate with you for Yankee so.
you're to serious. You don't even realize when someone is only trying to pull your legs.

Ok, now I understand what you wrote. Idk who told you no one wants to associate with me tho I mean, if that was the case, I should have returned to Nigeria since I came here with only $50.00 with no family or relatives here. But thanks to all those who have associated with me who helped me on countless occasions.
What we are discussing here is a general phenomenon and most people experience. Personally I'm not lonely here, but that's just me which is due to my personal lifestyle. However, I wouldn't downplay other people's experiences as I can see how very easy it is to get lonely over here. And the experience is common - not only among Nigerians.

Quality20:
How cn u b at home 24/7? Isn't there gym, worship centre,libraries etc

Person say he nor get work you dey name where he go pay money

Cousin9999:
Sounds like a business opportunity.

Run social events and clubs specifically for this market. You can even set up a matchmaking service.

Dude you just invented dating apps.

otipoju:



Leave all those guys that think movie is real life.
That face smiling at you can disl 911 in the next ten seconds to say she does not feel safe cause a stranger is staring at her menacingly.

Me ive learnt to mind my business and face my front.
Make God bless me so i can going back and forth at will.

Your head dey there. This is exactly the goal.

stubbornman:


Guy when you get abroad you can really contribute to this conversation ,don't just sit in your house in Nigeria and form scope master.

Point out what is wrong with his exposé and not attacking him.

Childofthelord:
It's looks quite easy from your end. "they don't make an effort to socialize" lol this is not Lagos. Everyone minds their business here, just chit chat and move on, no time for committed relationships or friendships except they are particularly interested in you, even your co-workers like to keep it professional. Its not just the environment, it's the people, their preferences and way of life. You as a foreigner, you cannot change that. There is really no place like home.
Peace

True,

That ednut guy always has jjc view's. You know when a child eats something sweet for the first time

Starzo:

those black girls u talked to must all be from Nigeria cuz I Know the ones from the Eastern part of the continent behave differently

E be like all of them na the same ooh. I be Igbo, met one Igbo girl from my local gov't on Facebook and she lives just the next city after mine. Started talking as a normal guy and gradually drew her attention to my intentions. Babe humiliated me like say I no follow, even asked me to state my residential status and all necessary proves. She literally told me that I'm like a job seeker to her so I should follow her rules.... I was like woooow. After I noticed that she's just an attention seeking baby mama, I politely declined and ghosted her. She didn't know that I have two accts so I saw one of her posts where she's complaining that to get a serious man is a big problem. When you get a religious one, he's not romantic and when you get smart one, he lies a lot etc... then I used my second acct and blasted her to the surprise of other commenters and she didn't know that I was the one.

79733139:
I would assume the best but prepare for the worst outcome. And after hundreds of approaches, I would have developed the ability to perceive which smile is fake or real, that's how I currently learn a lot of things socially.

Right, that guy choose to make life difficult for himself because of fear of rejection which no dey even as quarterly bad as some badmouthed Nigerian girls.

chatinent:
“Come back make another person go.”

na so na........................

Mcslize:


Must I live abroad before I understand how to approach women? Approaching women is a skill and many sucks at it. We watch guys doing cold approach on YouTube, real life and I never see where a white girl act so mean and all that.

If you can't approach ladies one on one and only resort only to dating apps, how will you boost your self confidence as a man?

Even on a dating app, it takes a man who understands women to pull lots of them out of their shells. The moment you make a woman feels she is above you, you've defeated the whole purpose of approaching such a woman.

You chatting with a lady and you are being all official do you think she will reason you?

Stop making ladies feel on high heel. That's the point. It doesn't take alot to make a woman giggles. The moment you start looking down on yourself before any lady, she is gone.

Women love confident men. White women are still very lenient to approach. I don't know your experience but it seems you are not good with women from the look of things.

You just summed it up...INFERIORITY COMPLEX and Lacking confidence !

Since i migrated, first babe(Mexican) got her through a get together party...She has big yansh and you know MOST white dudes are scared of BIG YANSH because of the size of their GBOLA

Second Gf(white too with big yansh), got her when i visited a friend,,she stays in my friend neighorhood..

D truth is i have NEVER seen a Naija man in my region suffering LONELINESS...most of them are into serious relationships with oyibo babes

CamusMidas:

Dude you just invented dating apps.

No.

Dating apps are mostly full of creepers and undesirables looking for you-know-what.

I mean something for a very specific demographic to socialize, actually socialize.

LordOfTheGame:



But she lives in Festac and not Texas.

I actually do not fancy Girls from Texas

flokii:
While it looks like blessing to put in all your life savings to acquire Visa, work permit etc. and migrate to obodo oyinbo.. when you get there, the oyinbo people will see you as disturbance and uninvited guest, you won't have friends or people to bond with, loneliness, boredom and feeling of regret would then creep in.
It's only married ones with kids that tend to feel loved, not the singles.

If we had good leaders in Africa in general, who would want to run abroad and live in deep freezer? you sef reason am na.
[b]As a guy, your penls will start to shrink like it's no man's business out of cold [/b]and sickness.

Very true bro, in fact I'm a victim of the shrinking penïs

I'm surprised how everyone turned this thread into a dating topic. The issue is about the experiences of loneliness in the western world, specifically Canada. How come it's now all about how to date? And besides dating does not even solve the loneliness problem. Loneliness here is due to the culture here, which is vastly different from Nigeria's. Thirsty guys just turned the whole thing into dating white girls, confidence, game blah blah blah

Starzo:

guy I dey try give u small SmackDown but instead of u to pretend like say e pain u small, u come dey write epistle...
nawa for Nigerians o
una no Sabi support person ministry at all... mtchwwww

Hahahahahahah Hahahahaha
Nairaland is the land of the crazy and weirdos....
Lols...@Epistle

shegun4sur:



With masters it would've made more brain to get a more reasonable job. Coming back solely because of such flimsy reasons is plain stupid

Clearly he was not productive, you see sai he talked about status lol Nigeria man and status.

He want to come back to oppress and after a year or 2 him go realise sai nobody send am to for here.

Starzo:

they are not smiling at u. they're laughing at u

how do u dress??...or let's see ur pic before we can conclude

Don't be a racist piece shit.

BadRadio:
I actually do not fancy Girls from Texas

Your village people are dancing krewa on top your destiny if you no fancy Texas babes.

CamusMidas:

Don't be a racist piece shit.

what are u saying??...did ur sense expire yesterday??

LordOfTheGame:


Your village people are dancing krewa on top your destiny if you no fancy Texas babes.

Texas babes lack culinary skills, they are terrible in bed and they lack useful manners