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How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? - Travel (4) - Nairaland

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Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Nobody: 1:16pm On Mar 08, 2021
Keshinr0:
Am against him coming back
You guys should give him support, help him get his life back.
Tell him to forget about his kids, for now, when they are old enough they will be with him
abi? grin

2 Likes

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Nobody: 1:18pm On Mar 08, 2021
HRprof:
This matter strong
That is to say British law protect woman, if its here in Nigeria is the other way round. My advise is that Nigeria men should learn how to protect their wife either in Nigeria or abroad to aviod this scenarios.
Anyway lets people who stay in UK give the guy better advice because for we in Nigeria will not give him better advise as Nigeria is lawless even in marriage issue as People do anyhow and get away with it.
how old are you, you sure you're up to 18??

10 Likes

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by arzizhy: 1:20pm On Mar 08, 2021
His friends should rally support for him, don't advise him to come back. Divorce is a temporary setback. Find him a beautiful shagmate and help him forget his travails and see how things will bounce back in no time.

6 Likes

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by lekki1444: 1:21pm On Mar 08, 2021
seunmsg:
Like I always say, marriage is overrated. It is just an arrangement of convenience that can crash at any time. Men especially should never lose guide while in it. When shit hits like in the case of this man, that’s when you will realize all the “I love you I love” na scam. The other gender will so deal with you without even blinking.

I read somewhere this morning that Jeff Bozos ex-wife has remarried. This lady skimmed Bezos off billions of dollars only to go and marry a teacher who she can control.

Men must take care of their family while not neglecting themselves at the same time. If you live in a country like the UK, start keeping part of your income in Nigeria or any other country where the UK law has not jurisdiction over. Make sure you’ve a fallback plan just in case of marital failure. We all read Ebue’s sad story. We must all be guided.
who is ebue

1 Like

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by OnlyDeCapPlease(m): 1:23pm On Mar 08, 2021
ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.


Every man's worst nightmare in the UK. He should try these guys. He has nothing to lose.

https://www.fathers-4-justice.org/contact-us/

If somehow he can raise money, these guys specialise in cases for men

https://cordellcordell.co.uk/

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Vickym1(f): 1:24pm On Mar 08, 2021
Tats:


There is really not much he can do about it. The law favours the woman especially if they have kids. My white neighbour and his wife who are a relatively young couple have two children and when they had marital disagreement, he was the one that had to move out of the house. Luckily for him, his parents do not live far away so he moved to their house. He has a job so can at least fend for himself. Many Nigerian men are in the same boat as this man and are really struggling and that's why there are so many single and divorced older men here. He may even be the one still paying for the mortgage in the house that he is not living in and the lady could bring another man to the house to stay. He should focus on himself, but if he doesn't have a good job, then his life will be one of continuous struggle as he will not be able to get a new mortgage and will be living from hand to mouth or will be depending on the Government for pittance. To be honest, it is a difficult decision but if he thinks there is really no hope, maybe he should return to Nigeria and try to make something out for himself. His children will look for him when they are older. If he remains here he would need to work really hard to turnaround his situation.
Him coming to Nigeria is not a good idea Y because Nigeria will frustrate him more if he doesn't have any one or anything to fall on. Nigeria stress and wahala will make u want to give up on urself, I think his frnds should be of help to him cos this is the time he need them most not when things are good.

1 Like

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by gambia(m): 1:24pm On Mar 08, 2021

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by seunmsg(m): 1:26pm On Mar 08, 2021
lekki1444:
who is ebue

Former Arsenal defender.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by dannywest: 1:30pm On Mar 08, 2021
SweetCunt97:
Atleast una don tick register. But didnt you marry yr friend? What could have happened?

Best friend.
We grew apart, unresolved issues haven't talked in almost a year.
Marriage can be hard if both parties aren't putting work into it.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Ketapu: 1:32pm On Mar 08, 2021
ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.

He should join "Men Going Their Own Way" (MGTOW) subreddit on reddit.com. He will find men undergoing such situations or who have undergone such situations before. They will advise him and help him through that phase.

I'll also advice he starts reading books on self improvement. "No more mr nice guy" is a good starting point. He can download the book on b-ok.org

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Nobody: 1:32pm On Mar 08, 2021
.
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by lekki1444: 1:32pm On Mar 08, 2021
seunmsg:


Former Arsenal defender.
what happened to him ?
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by lekki1444: 1:33pm On Mar 08, 2021
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by xandy84: 1:33pm On Mar 08, 2021
Op is leaving some important information. Nobody arrest you for going to your house except you have restraining order against you. Don't make it look like men don't have right in UK, US bro. Allegations without proof holds no ground in sane climate. If his wife accuse him of marital rape, abuse and forgery, she will have to prove beyond reasonable doubt such activities happened. OP it's either omitting or does not have a full story.. Talking from experience

7 Likes

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by AfroKnight: 1:34pm On Mar 08, 2021
Keshinr0:
Am against him coming back
You guys should give him support, help him get his life back.
Tell him to forget about his kids, for now, when they are old enough they will be with him him

Best advice.

Honestly I wonder what kind of friends he has. They should support him financially at least until the case is over. Him representing himself in court will only cause him more grief. He needs good lawyers.

2 Likes

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by petitejolie(f): 1:37pm On Mar 08, 2021
Michelle55:
How do people who vows to take the forever steps together suddenly turns against each other overnight? Just how?
abroad marriage between a citizen of that country and immigrant is not actually for forever. Na to find stay but some guys are not smart they forget their sense and be ass licking dis overbearing women without having a plan b at home until katakata burst.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by OnlyDeCapPlease(m): 1:37pm On Mar 08, 2021
OnlyDeCapPlease:



Every man's worst nightmare in the UK. He should try these guys. He has nothing to lose.

https://www.fathers-4-justice.org/contact-us/

If somehow he can raise money, these guys specialise in cases for men

https://cordellcordell.co.uk/

...also I think men in the UK should start keeping money aside (vex money) just in case. Just in case because things could change very dramatically. Life in the UK messes with black women's heads big and oyinbo people will gladly (and maliciously) help to destroy a black man's family for their own self satisfaction. Vex money is necessary now more than ever so that you can make certain moves (rent room/flat, relocate back to Nigeria etc) without turning to charity case. Also, unless you are very wealthy, there is actually no point bankrupting yourself to fight a woman who has taken an unreasonable stand. I know it's one of the most emotionally charged difficult things ever, but one has to tear themselves away from any emotions and do the most sensible thing. Forget the kids for now because your hand has been cruelly forced by circumstances.

I wish the man well.

3 Likes

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Jaqenhghar: 1:38pm On Mar 08, 2021
Tats:


Unfortunately, he cannot relocate to another country apart from Nigeria except he is a citizen there. Relocation is not an easy thing as you would have to start from scratch and you will not have any credit record and that is not easy. Anything you want to apply for, they will do a credit check and if you are new and don't have a record, they are likely to deny you.
He should just pick himself up . Its very hard but he must disengage from tjem for his sanity. Get another job and build himself. Its not easy but it jas to be done. Na white woman him marry?

1 Like

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by planetx: 1:39pm On Mar 08, 2021
This is why their birth rate in the West is now in the gutter, because the men are refusing to get married and are now taking the red pill and going MGTOW. They have shot themselves in the foot with their biased anti males law especially in the issue of divorce and child custody and I say good riddance.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Jaqenhghar: 1:42pm On Mar 08, 2021
LesbianBoy:
When will warn you guys to be careful of women and don't be deceived by their pretty faces or innocent looks (that is for those that has it o) una no go hear.

Una go accuse person of being pained or a woman hater now look at.

Your friend should enjoy all his wife is giving him jare and stop disturbing us

grin grin grin grin grin grin


Una own too much ne. Your own is already bordering on paranoia. Men in Nigeria dont go through a tenth of what men go through abroad but the way you spend time villifying women. Ironically people who talk like you when they go abroad they wont do anyhow with the foreign babes. Na una kind go turn houseboy for oyinbo woman

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by kenchop: 1:43pm On Mar 08, 2021
Bless you bro. He must man up and move on.
Lekmanz87:


Coming to nigeria is not a good idea for me when a man falls 7times he must get up 8times...man up and get your shits together coz when there’s life there’s still hope...#Shiloh
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Businessman1986(m): 1:45pm On Mar 08, 2021
Henvest:
"Marital rape, drugs, child abuse, adultery .....e.t.c"
Just a case of giving a dog name to kill it.
I wonder why we black man still don't understand that marriage , divorce or marital law.. I don't know the Bleep they call it...is just one of many tools and system put in place to keep black men down, in this case using their wife.
The same way they use media , religion, culture , politics e.t.c is the same way they are using women in marriage to bring and keep men down.

Meanwhile it has been proven that women, mostly Nigeria women are like Lion cub .
No matter how lovely and cute they look at young age once they become independent they turn into a monster.
And u will surely be their first victim after U have help them grow.
If you must train them make sure u trim their jaws and finger from time to time.
Lastly never allow society to push you into taking your wife abroad to live with you in order to be a real man..
The story has never end well unless God is on your side.
All the systems they interact with there are design to brainwash them into being a willing tool for your down fall

You said it, but will they hear?

3 Likes

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Jaqenhghar: 1:45pm On Mar 08, 2021
Ketapu:


He should join "Men Going Their Own Way" (MGTOW) subreddit on reddit.com. He will find men undergoing such situations or who have undergone such situations before. They will advise him and help him through that phase.

I'll also advice he starts reading books on self improvement. "No more mr nice guy" is a good starting point. He can download the book on b-ok.org

I encourage every guy out there to read the book titled "How to destroy a man now." In that short book, you will read unimaginable ways a woman can destroy you as a man. Marriage or relationship with the female is a dangerous game or time bomb. Only God can save we men in the hands of those devil incarnate.

Sincerely, any woman can destroy a man when she wants. This is what your family man is undergoing now. I wish him the strength to undergo and overcome this phase of his life.

Even the MGTOW are under attack these days. No wonder less oyinbo men are opting for marriage these days. They just live together with the women and see how it goes. In my department we have like 30 women and 6 men. Im the only one who is married

12 Likes

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by gambia(m): 1:46pm On Mar 08, 2021
lekki1444:
Ahhh thanks for the article bro

You are welcome.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by famzynet: 1:48pm On Mar 08, 2021
RisenPhoenix1:
His mistake was not seeing the signs early enough. If you insist on keeping your wife and family with you in the UK, you need to take financial precautions; like keeping the bulk of your savings in offshore accounts that she is not aware of, including her name on the mortgage papers and getting your kids acclimatized to staying with your parents in Nigeria. So as soon as you see signs of her misbehaviour, you pack up and leave her hanging. The court cannot award her what they can't find. Well, too late now.

Tell him to suspend the search for a job until the court case is all wrapped up. There's very little she can gain from him now; the court cannot order a jobless man to either pay alimony or child support. After that, he can relocate to another town, pick up the pieces and try to get visitation rights. Over time, it will resolve itself.
How does one including wife's name in mortgage papers benefit the man in case of divorce? Please enlighten us.
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by NoSentiment: 1:48pm On Mar 08, 2021
ibuildstuff:

U will be surprise that the woman is a Nigerian. Something like this happened to my uncle, a woman he came to Nigeria to marry did this to him.

Really! This is so terrible and ungrateful.
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by manmustwack: 1:48pm On Mar 08, 2021
eduson33:
If your friend is truly innocent then here is my 2 cent.

Divorce can be messy and mostly favors the woman.
FOR ME I'D SAY,HE SHOULD FIND A WAY TO MAKE PEACE...THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM.

That being said;

1. He needs to get something doing. Even tho its very tough right now, he can find some part time job to keep him afloat.(Tell him to search for property management companies(concierge and security) they only need your cv and your availability to start booking you in for jobs or he can apply for public fund.

Even tho his current visa says''no recourse to public funds,he can still access public funds but it will only restart the clock for him and extend the length of time before he can Naturalize or receive ILR. He can also be provided with a lawyer if he cant afford one(Even tho those ones are not the best). Some legal firms will be happy to take on the case and charge him later if successful(depending on his argument)..He should start gathering proofs and evidences that will help his case.

if they have been married for over 3 years and he has lived in the UK for at least one year, he is entitled to apply for ''RIGHT TO REMAIN'' Which means he will be issued a 5 years visa to remain in the UK after the divorce,provided that the application is successful.

If the court grants him access to the kids, he can also apply to remain in the country based on the kids.

Tell him to actively pursue peace..katakata is never a solution..

That’s a brilliant piece of advice.
Hopefully he’ll read it and gain strength and encouragement.
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by KingAzari: 1:48pm On Mar 08, 2021
xandy84:
Op is leaving some important information. Nobody arrest you for going to your house except you have restraining order against you. Don't make it look like men don't have right in UK, US bro. Allegations without proof holds no ground in sane climate. If his wife accuse him of marital rape, abuse and forgery, she will have to prove beyond reasonable doubt such activities happened. OP it's either omitting or does not have a full story.. Talking from experience

You never see anything.

Let me tell you, in the western countries, the most powerful people are in this order:
1. Women
2. Children
3. Animals(Birds, Fishes & Mammals)
4. Trees/Environment/Ocean
5. Gay men
6. Straight men (This is where most of us - the most endangered group - belong). SAD truth.

The day I told my white boss that I was getting married he wept for me just the way angels wept for people on earth the day God ostracized Satan to earth. He practically told me not to get married that I would live to regret.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by seunmsg(m): 1:49pm On Mar 08, 2021
lekki1444:
what happened to him ?

https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/12/emmanuel-eboue-loses-life-savings-properties-wife-following-bitter-divorce/

Read up how he lost everything he worked for to his former wife.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by MansoryMX(m): 1:52pm On Mar 08, 2021
Michelle55:

Yeah.. Please do enlighten me

Two major things, one must be allowed and the other not allowed; Forgiveness and Pride. Pride is a poison in marriage because it's the basis for disrespecting others and for creating suffering in our lives. The moment one starts having pride against his/her spouse, that marriage is definitely hitting the rock! People you see who have been married for more than 50years and still going strong together don’t allow pride to becloud their sense of reasoning when they wrong one another or having one misunderstanding or another which is bound to happen in marriage, we are humans and we have both anger and happiness inside us which do comes out of us. It’s either you are angry or happy. You can’t be angry and happy at same time. So when you are in an angry state caused by your spouse or yourself then don’t allow pride, instead allow forgiveness to kick in! Well Na so my papa teach me when I told him I wanna marry lol. And since I got married it has been working for me like magic! I don’t fail to say sorry whenever I did something wrong to my wife, likewise she. Pride is the major cause of all broken marriages

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by efficiencie(m): 1:52pm On Mar 08, 2021
babythug:
Divorce is an unfortunate situation to be in. Nonetheless it’s not the end of the world . Both himself and his former wife are to blame . He should brace up and try the following:

1. Dust himself and be ready to start over .
2. Face his career or job
3. Determine to be at peace with his ex no matter the level of provocation or otherwise
4. Be the best father he can be to his children given the circumstances. Pay whatever bills as deemed necessary and pay extra where possible
5. He should document any payment made
6. He must not bring the kids into the divorce by relaying what their mum has done or not done to them
7.

What is this one saying? Do you know what the woman has been telling the children about their father? The children are part of the divorce whether they like it or not. It is not a matter of "if" it is a matter of "when"...the will eventually get to know the dirty linen of their parents...He had better leave the UK return to a country where he can start over whilst leading a life of prayer and devotion to God. He should communicate with his kids when he can through the phone and to see the children he should pay for their ticket to travel to his location. He should not visit them at his UK residence or risk getting arrested again on false charges by his wife...

Marriages fail when spouses fail to agree and spouses fail to agree when they aren't matches for each other and bound by the law of the LORD GOD who instituted the first marriage!

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