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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Travel / How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? (65078 Views)
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Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Nobody: 2:40pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
sweetrace: Sure, there would be visiting time probably once a week. And should he eat humble pie with a useless ex wife. He should get his life back first 1 Like |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by ASUNDER: 2:40pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
No domestic violence. He willingly moved out of the house due to constant arguments. They are both Nigerian Yorubas. He brought his wife to the UK from Nigeria. He is not a citizen yet but legal. If you have lived in the UK, you'd realised that violence doesn't need to have occurred before a woman gets you arrested. Merely saying "I am fearful of him and my life is in danger" is enough! Abroad is not for black men with shaky marriage. If your marriage is not solid and your wife is in Nigeria, just leave her there. If you are single, remain single! I for one will never marry any woman and sign any stupid papers! NEVER! Don't tell my mum sha ![]() ![]() ![]() SURElee: 20 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Reference(m): 2:41pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
babythug: We are talking about the man's interests here so what is this epistle about protecting the woman. The kids should know what is happening so they have an independent view. It will be naive of the man to think the woman is not busy filling their heads with crap such that when they are 'older' as many allude here, thy will seek him. A partner who will not want the truth to emerge will do everything to destroy the other. There are several ways to make contact under the table He should go to their school and meet with his kids friends and set up cyber linkages. Must every divorce be projected as the man's fault. It is fair and humane for him to see his kids even if he is a serial killer. 3 Likes |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by babythug(f): 2:44pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
Oluromantic: She may have indeed moved on but we are focusing on the man , having heard* only his side of the story. My tips will help give the man some peace during the whole thing |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by SweetCunt97(f): 2:48pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
dannywest:Communication, attention and care is key.... Money is never enough 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by PROPHETmichael: 2:54pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
ASUNDER: Tell your friend to contact me ASAP if he's innocent of the allegations and i will petition heaven on his behalf. 1 Like |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by ttoyetade: 2:54pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
RisenPhoenix1:You may not see any signs at all. Marriage is a risk and the risk can materialise anytime. You may not be able to forsee the behaviour of your partner in different situations. Last year I slapped my wife of 28 years for the first time. Her mum came to visit and as soon as she came, we started quarelling everyday. Only God and our church members helped me, I would have been in a similar situation as the OP although I had almost finish paying my mortgage. Marriage is a great risk and if the risk materialises then destruction follows. There is no straight forward solution except to get closer to God and exercise a lot of patience. Whether you return to NIgeria or remain in UK, you need God guidance. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by ednut1(m): 2:54pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
na2016:all his money will go on bills (,his own plus kids and ex wife own). Na die he dey 1 Like |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by ataladi1101: 2:56pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
Mr Asunder, If you really want to help your friend. Ask him to seek counsel from people who understand the workings of divorce in the UK. It is so fragile and complex not many lawyers practice it. I remember looking for Naija British lawyers and couldn’t find any. Eventually I settled for a Caucasian woman who cost me an arm and a leg. 2 Likes |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by pappilo(m): 2:58pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
I am going through the same and at some point in the story I thought it was about me Probably too late now but if possible, beg, grovel, apologise, send emissaries for what you did and didnt do but be sure not to implicate yourself. I say this because you can never win. In my experience, begging didnt work but it is prudent to try. Another thing for any man who finds himself in a toxic marriage is to know when to give up on the marriage and move strategically. I held on too long not really for love but for the sake of my children but remember the children will survive if you are there or not. I left the house a few times thinking things will get better but it didnt help. It emboldened my ex wife and she started to invite her boyfriend into our family home when I wasnt there. Her boyfriend moved into our home only about 3 weeks after I was arrested and told by the police not to return to the house. And I still part paid the mortgage for almost a year until I transferred my interest in it over to her. I moved to a garage conversion in a shared house. The garage obviously had no insulation so cold almost killed me in winter. Used to sleep with full tracksuit, electric blanket and heater. I have moved to my own flat now. I caught a few charges from her and her boyfriend and I am on trial in crown court next month. They are serious charges but I am optimistic that even if found guilty there will be no jail time as I am of good character. I am kind of prepared for the worst though so although not concrete my plan B will be to relocate to Nigeria if I do get prison time as I will lose my job and the prospects wont be good on release. I have been working a second job and doing 75hrs a week for about 11 months and this has helped me pay part of my criminal defence fees which are just a little under £15,000. But even with that I am over £10,000 in debt. I was mad suicidal for a long time and always feeling sorry for myself but I had to pick myself up. Doing 2 jobs helped to keep me occupied so it must be tough for your friend if he is not busy doing something and keeps thinking. Thankfully my divorce went as smoothly as possible as she didnt object to it and it was granted just over a year after I was banished from the house. It could have even happened earlier if I didnt develop cold feet a few times. 22 Likes |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by sunkieisland(m): 3:06pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
My advice to him is to stay back and build his life again. The issue with most married adult is that they've quickly forgotten that they were once single before getting married. They should learn to embrace the state of being single, especially in a messy situation like this. Marriage is a beautiful thing, when it is between two good forgivers but if it's the other way around, it's a dangerous institution. The guy should just forget that he has a family and focus on making his life better. When the kids grow up, they will definitely ask of their father and the situation would most likely favour him then. But for now, he should strive to make his conditions upgrade and fast. My 1 cent. 6 Likes |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Judybash93(m): 3:08pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
Marriage na scam... Sign prenup before entering into it especially if you live abroad... Women will ruin a man's life in a whimp if they become unsatisfied just for a bit.. men are the major recipient of the bad things within marriage, so, men guard yourselves 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by owunabastard: 3:08pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
If you are in abroad and you are loaded, best thing for you is not to legally marry. have baby mamas as long as you want and children accompany with those women. People like P diddy understand the scope richie240: 1 Like |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Kelvin3476: 3:08pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
HRprof:Which NIGERIA LAW PROTECT MEN ? EVERY LAW PROTECTS WOMEN 1 Like |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by koxi: 3:08pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
ASUNDER: My dear I understand. Advice your friend to seek for government/public sponsored attorneys...they have them there as they do here in the US. They will help him fight his case. The major setback is that the system is designed to favor the woman/wife but in some cases the man/husband can be successful. But here’s the CAVEAT: If your friend, at any point whatsoever, has physically abused the wife or kids and there’s proof, tell him to RUN AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE. They will nail his a*ss! For good!! Because there are always two sides to every story, he should tread carefully. Wish him all the best... |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Businessman1986(m): 3:10pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
If you're dumb enough to marry at all in the western world, with all the sickening stories abound, why regale us with stories of woe when sh!t hits the fan? Bear it. 2 Likes |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by akeeng: 3:10pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
Keshinr0:Well, he’s going to keep trying. Get his shît together and get good legal help. That’s the only way out 1 Like |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by sunkieisland(m): 3:10pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
pappilo:You are a real man sir. I salute your courage. This is exactly my point. Thanks for sharing 4 Likes |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Judybash93(m): 3:11pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
pappilo: Is your wife a Nigerian sir? |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by silaswills01(m): 3:11pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
na this kind thing go make pesin not to give a damn about those gender that claim they're the future ........sometimes it's best u stay single and surround yourself with important hommies that can help you achieve life purpose ![]() 10 Likes |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by xandy84: 3:12pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
Please don't tell me what you don't know nothing about. I live in the States, going thru a divorce at the moment. Like I said earlier, thw OP is not telling full story. NOBODY arrest you for visiting your house except there is a restraining order against you and you don't get locked up for forgery allegation except there is a proof.. KingAzari: |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Kubernetes: 3:13pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
MansoryMX: Waoooo, your elder bro is faster than Usain Bolt 1 Like |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Judybash93(m): 3:15pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
ttoyetade: Inasmuch as i agree with you, i think I'll digress a little by saying the institution of marriage itself is a big scam especially in the 21st century and the law isn't even on the side of men whenever things go wrong even if the woman is at fault. 1 Like |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Nobody: 3:16pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
Best for him to move back to nigeria 1 Like |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Kelvin3476: 3:16pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
dannywest:AND THEY DNT WANA CUM TOGETHER TO SPEAK AGAINST IT . LET THE CNTINUE TO KEEP SILENT. I SOO MUCH HATE THE UK. THEY MEN ARE THE ONES THAT MADE THAT LAW AGAINST THEMSELVES IN THE NAME OF PROTECTING WOMEN WHILE WOMEN USES IT AGAINST THEM SOO MUCH 7 Likes |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Judybash93(m): 3:17pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
xandy84:But OP lives in the UK 3 Likes |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by baralatie(m): 3:21pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
eduson33:he should let the ex wife be and face his life |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Kelvin3476: 3:21pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
How do they sign the PRENUP OF A THING ? |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by pappilo(m): 3:22pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
Judybash93: Yes. Met in Uni, came to the UK together 2 Likes |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by xandy84: 3:22pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
What's different between UK and US? Not much. The simple fact is what I am trying to say. It is not the duty of the accuse to prove his innocent, it is the duty of the accuser to prove the accuse is guilty. If you accuse someone of fraud as the OP claimed, the wife has to show proof that the man is into fraud either in Germany, UK, US or even Nigeria.... Judybash93: 1 Like |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by baralatie(m): 3:23pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
xandy84:now you can see the messy part that is not being revealed. it must have been a degenerated issue |
Re: How Did You Survive Your Divorce In The UK? by Kelvin3476: 3:23pm On Mar 08, 2021 |
AS A GUY WEY U BE EHN, MAKE U NO EVER BRING A WOMAN TO ABROAD NOR MATTER HOW U TRUSTED her. 4 Likes |
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