Mcslize:


My point is that they cry too much like babies. Why should a black give a bleep about what a white human being thinks about him or her?

Those abroad should stop crying foul for every little encounter they have with the whites.

Even here in Nigeria, people mind their business. They receive a casual stare from an albino, they will attribute it to racism, we are not wanted here. I am black that's why. Oh my employer didn't answer me this morning cuz I am black. Oh my neighbour gave me an angry stare yesterday, I want to go back to Nigeria.

They should stop crying like babies. Thy should learn to cultivate that I don't care attitude and stop making a mountain from every mole hill.

That's how I live my life. I don't give a bleep. Whether I greet you and you refuse to answer me or not, I keep living on. That should be the mindset of every black living abroad.

It's not today people start keeping to themselves. In that same abroad, there are some people whose friends are just whites all through.

Black abroad cry too much over the culture they experience abroad. That's culture. They should adapt rather than crying foul.

Well I agree with some of your opinion though, they should learn to suck it up. Unfortunately for them, everyone is not the same, not everyone can be like you.

kunkelhanspeter:

I no jealous your benz Na Pu**y I want jealous?
Lol check yourself bro
I’m looking for a way to discharge the wholesale I carried that don’t want to leave again .

hehe... ur own na one chance, my own na tear rubber

neurosci:


The bolded is exactly what I've been trying to explain to these guys, but I don't know why they just cannot understand. Nobody is saying you can't walk up to people, strike conversations, and have a good time. People here are polite and friendly, so they will respond well. The problem is, it is difficult to keep it. They are not interested in committing to any friendship, and friendship requires commitment and staying in touch over a long time. What is the point in walking up to a girl or boy and having a nice conversation that ends right there? Even if they give you their contact, they won't text you. If you text them, they may ignore you after sometime if you keep texting them or respond coldly. We are not talking about friendliness of a few minutes; we are talking about friendship over a long time. Making friends here is difficult for people not because it is difficult to talk to people, but because it usually doesn't lead anywhere as the people do not intend to keep it going. Why is this so difficult for the people on here to understand? In Nigeria, if you meet someone and have a nice conversation, you will likely exchange whatsapp numbers and stay in touch and become good friends from there. Here, if you meet someone and have a nice conversation, it ends there. Those YouTube videos, do they show you what happens after the conversation you see on the screen? Do they tell you that they stay in touch after that one time? Ah, people here ehn!

Don't mind the irritants,they always feel they know it,if you press someone's too much out there they might even report you to the police for harassment.
Their Number is part of their privacy,they won't release it to you and if you are lucky to get it they might end up ignoring you like you earlier said.

There would always be hotel bars and restaurants that are not only for lodgers, there would always be the ones that open to anybody that is well dressed and wishes to have a drink or meal. People look for ways to socialise (even in winter like visiting ice rinks) and make it work, people buy courses to speak with a neutral British accent or General American accent and make it work. They do so many things just to be able to socialise and deal with loneliness... rather than complain and insult anyone that makes suggestions.

So sure, yes for you, the verdict is you would NEVER be able to socialize with people in your environment abroad. However, don't make the generalisation that it can be done if you are black (or African).

Because you have failed to do something doesn't mean it cannot be done! Just because I can't run a 100 metres race under 11 seconds, does that mean that someone of the same age as me cannot do it?

And if offering Nigerians suggestions on how to deal with loneliness and socialize with their neighbours in a foreign land makes me an ITK, I wear it proudly. Some people are likely reading what I am writing and might decide to take the bull by the horn and do something instead of complaining and saying it is hopeless... "white people don't want to be my friend"

Solatium:




Park,gardens, beaches outing can only come during the summer which is just less than 3 months in a whole year, some some times some summer period are even cold that you can't go to those places.
You can't hang out in a hotel in europe or North America if you don't have a business there,you will be thrown out and might end up at the back of a police van most especially you are a nigga.without their accent


Guy this your writing indicates you don't have an idea at all.
just keep quiet and listen to those who have been there and living it may be you will have some take away to apply when it comes to your turn.
This your ITK no go let you see reason

neurosci:


The bolded is exactly what I've been trying to explain to these guys, but I don't know why they just cannot understand. Nobody is saying you can't walk up to people, strike conversations, and have a good time. People here are polite and friendly, so they will respond well. The problem is, it is difficult to keep it. They are not interested in committing to any friendship, and friendship requires commitment and staying in touch over a long time. What is the point in walking up to a girl or boy and having a nice conversation that ends right there? Even if they give you their contact, they won't text you. If you text them, they may ignore you after sometime if you keep texting them or respond coldly. We are not talking about friendliness of a few minutes; we are talking about friendship over a long time. Making friends here is difficult for people not because it is difficult to talk to people, but because it usually doesn't lead anywhere as the people do not intend to keep it going. Why is this so difficult for the people on here to understand? In Nigeria, if you meet someone and have a nice conversation, you will likely exchange whatsapp numbers and stay in touch and become good friends from there. Here, if you meet someone and have a nice conversation, it ends there. Those YouTube videos, do they show you what happens after the conversation you see on the screen? Do they tell you that they stay in touch after that one time? Ah, people here ehn!

So true.

79733139:
The issue is you don't know how to do it and you are not interested in putting the effort to learn and make it work (where in the beginning you would have to risk looking like a pest several times till you get it right... yes that is the hard truth.). The fact that you group all of them in one category exposes your ignorance how to actually socialise in polite society.

If you are in a country and can't make friends with 3 - 5 guys and get a girlfriend or girlfriends, it has nothing to do with the people but everything to do with YOU. The same place that you are complaining of, is where someone else would go to and in 3 - 6 months would build a decent social life.

If you believe you cannot build a decent social life in USA or Canada... fine and accepted but the assumption should NOT be that it cannot be done just because you have failed to do it.

I just said that you don't know jack about living abroad and socializing.
Do you know that if you press it too much the friend/s you are trying to court will call Police on your for harassment which might earn you a criminal record if care is not taken.

You approach to me as a Nigerian who had lived it indicates that you are a desperate fellow talk more of european and Americans who always watch every move.


If you think is that easy,why do you think facebook and other social media were invented? why do you think phone calls and internet connection are made cheaper?

You be learner wet no gree learn

Solatium:






Don't mind the irritants,they always feel they know it,if you press someone's too much out there they might even report you to the police for harassment.
Their Number is part of their privacy,they won't release it to you and if you are lucky to get it they might end up ignoring you like you earlier said.

In Nigeria, when you meet someone and exchange Whatsapp numbers, even if they don't have anything to tell you, they will send you happy new month message, happy new week, happy sunday, happy monday, they will send broadcast messages, type amen, etc. They will always find a way to stay in touch. Here, would you try doing all that 'nonsense' with people when you get their numbers? You can't even call them unless you have something concrete to discuss. Is that a type of friendship comparable to Nigeria's? Before you visit them, you must text them to know you're coming and why you're coming and vice versa. This is not even about dating, it's just about friendship in general.

dasparrow:


So true. Hang in there.

Oh I am in naija but thanks

Yes, it applies to you and not every Nigerian (or African), some people make it work. If you are afraid that people would call the police on you just for trying to socialise then you don't even have any business trying at all. So we are both right. Touché... we can finally agree to disagree.

Solatium:





I just said that you don't know jack about living abroad and socializing.
Do you know that if you press it too much the friend/s you are trying to court will call Police on your for harassment which might earn you a criminal record if care is not taken.

You approach to me as a Nigerian who had lived it indicates that you are a desperate fellow talk more of european and Americans who always watch every move.


If you think is that easy,why do you think facebook and other social media were invented? why do you think phone calls and internet connection are made cheaper?

You be learner wet no gree learn

79733139:
There would always be hotel bars and restaurants that are not only for lodgers, there would always be the ones that open to anybody that is well dressed and wishes to have a drink or meal. People look for ways to socialise (even in winter like visiting ice rinks) and make it work, people buy courses to speak with a neutral British accent or General American accent and make it work. They do so many things just to be able to socialise and deal with loneliness... rather than complain and insult anyone that makes suggestions.

So sure, yes for you, the verdict is you would NEVER be able to socialize with people in your environment abroad. However, don't make the generalisation that it can be done if you are black (or African).

Because you have failed to do something doesn't mean it cannot be done! Just because I can't run a 100 metres race under 11 seconds, does that mean that someone of the same age as me cannot do it?

And if offering Nigerians suggestions on how to deal with loneliness and socialize with their neighbours in a foreign land makes me an ITK, I wear it proudly. Some people are likely reading what I am writing and might decide to take the bull by the horn and do something instead of complaining and saying it is hopeless... "white people don't want to be my friend"

.




People out there are not after your manner of outfit out there, Looking good and wearing smart clothing is an everyday thing,so that won't stop them from throwing you out if you don't have a business around there.

Eating out is an everyday thing abroad, most people are too busy to go cook,so don't nude that as an excuses, besides people only do take away during the winter,autum and spring, it's only during summer people eat out.
meaning you have to wait for a whole 12 months to fulfil that fantasy.



Your accent will always give you away,they know those of you with oluwole accent, immediately you open your loud mouth they know you are just a wanna be,they more you form a hybrid accent the more you embarrassed yourself,it is always better to speak in your clear African accent for them to hear you clearly.


Lastly,how many countries have you visited?

flokii:
[s]While it looks like blessing to put in all your life savings to acquire Visa, work permit etc. and migrate to obodo oyinbo.. when you get there, the oyinbo people will see you as disturbance and uninvited guest, you won't have friends or people to bond with, loneliness, boredom and feeling of regret would then creep in.
It's only married ones with kids that tend to feel loved, not the singles.

If we had good leaders in Africa in general, who would want to run abroad and live in deep freezer? you sef reason am na.
As a guy, your penls will start to shrink like it's no man's business out of cold and sickness[/s].

Trash

79733139:
Yes, it applies to you and not every Nigerian (or African), some people make it work. If you are afraid that people would call the police on you just for trying to socialise then you don't even have any business trying at all. So we are both right. Touché... we can finally agree to disagree.

Yèyé dey baff this one,you think say na Nigeria you dey wet you go dey harras People?
You will have to tell them your motive around that area trying to force friendship on everyone on your way.
Street CCTV image will bear you witness in court pray you get out of it safely that is if it doesn't even earn you deportation if you do not hold a proper visa

Yes, you can't make it work... we both already understand that.

Solatium:

.




People out there are not after your manner of outfit out there, Looking good and wearing smart clothing is an everyday thing,so that won't stop them from throwing you out if you don't have a business around there.

Eating out is an everyday thing abroad, most people are too busy to go cook,so don't nude that as an excuses, besides people only do take away during the winter,autum and spring, it's only during summer people eat out.
meaning you have to wait for a whole 12 months to fulfil that fantasy.



Your accent will always give you away,they know those of you with oluwole accent, immediately you open your loud mouth they know you are just a wanna be,they more you form a hybrid accent the more you embarrassed yourself,it is always better to speak in your clear African accent for them to hear you clearly.


Lastly,how many countries have you visited?

Yes, you can't make it work (the big issue is you)... we know that already.

Solatium:





Yèyé dey baff this one,you think say na Nigeria you dey wet you go dey harras People?
You will have to tell them your motive around that area trying to force friendship on everyone on your way.
Street CCTV image will bear you witness in court pray you get out of it safely that is if it doesn't even earn you deportation if you do not hold a proper visa

ThierryJay:


Oga, maybe I may admire your tenacity a bit, but there's intelligence in knowing when to give it a rest in face of overwhelming evidence and learn a thing or two.

I see that most of your comments lack a practical application. Just like some motivational utopian school of thoughts. Imagine your statement at the bolded. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Are you saying that Lebron James, one of the GOATs of basketball, does not have confidence Doesn't Idris Elba have confidence or isn't he handsome enough? These are just few examples of the many blacks that have spoken out openly about racism. Please desist from making assertions without justification. And resist the urge to reply my points from your personal sentimental point of view - else, you'd be advertising your illogicality on a global scale.

Those people you mentioned are freedom fighters or motivational speakers? Learn never to give a fvck as a man and you will have no issue living amidst any set of human beings, being whites or blacks.

Don't give a damn fvck. Just live your life. If you think too much about what others think about you in terms of your color, you will have high BP.

The issue of racism is becoming stale day by day. Blacks should lay it to rest and live with the whites in whatever way they want blacks to live with them. We are now in the twenty first century. Not 100 yrs ago when racism was predominant.

Don't forget it is a culture which every black should adapt to.

Gisting and laughing all high with someone today and the person sees you tomorrow and refused to act like he knows you means nothing.

It is just their way of life. But most of us will cry foul it is racism just because he laughed with you the other day and acts like he doesn't know you today.

Little things like that shouldn't be a reason for blacks to be crying foul when you know that's how they live.

If a white man come to Nigeria, the same way you experience culture shock in oversea, that's how they will also experience culture shock here. Because some of the things we do here will look strange to them.

We can't always attribute things like that to racism which we blacks always cry about all the time.

[quote author=79733139 post=99721932]Yes, you can't make it work (the big issue is you)... we know that already.




Dem dey wait you to come make it happen.
Mr Social Animal.�

79733139:
There would always be hotel bars and restaurants that are not only for lodgers, there would always be the ones that open to anybody that is well dressed and wishes to have a drink or meal. People look for ways to socialise (even in winter like visiting ice rinks) and make it work, people buy courses to speak with a neutral British accent or General American accent and make it work. They do so many things just to be able to socialise and deal with loneliness... rather than complain and insult anyone that makes suggestions.

So sure, yes for you, the verdict is you would NEVER be able to socialize with people in your environment abroad. However, don't make the generalisation that it can be done if you are black (or African).

Because you have failed to do something doesn't mean it cannot be done! Just because I can't run a 100 metres race under 11 seconds, does that mean that someone of the same age as me cannot do it?

And if offering Nigerians suggestions on how to deal with loneliness and socialize with their neighbours in a foreign land makes me an ITK, I wear it proudly. Some people are likely reading what I am writing and might decide to take the bull by the horn and do something instead of complaining and saying it is hopeless... "white people don't want to be my friend"

Oga u stubborn sha, but extremely clueless.

All the people wey dey abroad don tell their truth, u wey no dey get d biggest opinion.

Haba y

lastchild:
honestly speaking, I almost developed mental issue in Madrid over loneliness

this abroad thing is no longer my thing

The thing tire person.... na person wey never come will be thinking that it's all bed of roses.

79733139:
Do not approach in places where everybody is in a hurry to go somewhere. Put the effort, dress up and deliberately go to places where everybody is in a social mood and make your approaches example: parks, gardens, beaches, hotel lounges, upscale bars, theme restaurants, amusement parks, museums, art exhibitions, concerts etc.

You would make a lot of approaches and adjust till you start getting results.

My brother I dey try my best. Even this night as I was coming back from my waka waka, I jam one girl way be sey we dey live for the same area, began talk some kind things give the babe na so she snubbed me like sey I carry corona virus.

VanillaIyce:


Hahaha, you are looking for gist. Lol

I no wan heat sey you no jist me the update. In fact, PM me make I follow up the matter...

All these girls that are living in Festac knows how to do men ojoro.

Randy91:


Una get time ooo

One thing to do once in Abroad is to KEEP AWAY from NAIJA BABES...most of other African babes like kenya, cameroon, Ghana, etc are COOL

I dey currently hope on one East African babe now but as the girl dey take play with my emotions and feelings no be small matter. They don learn all the bad babe things from our West African girls so they're doing more shakara now unlike before.

lastchild:
oga, your problem is that you are speaking based on Nigerian perspective

I used to think like you till I found myself in Madrid, oboy, white people don't reason like us

another problem is that, Europe is too developed that you can see one street being occupied by one or two persons

space is way too bigger than crowd, thereby making it look scanty and boring, unlike Nigeria �� where crowd supercedes space

As higher mammals, we are created to adapt. You simply experienced a culture shock not racism. That's how they live even within themselves.

Mcslize:


Chaiii I watched one sermon where a pastor called out a group of men and women. He goes like this: if you know you are single and have been searching, come out now. See where ladies were tripping out.

The ladies were more than the guys. They all stood and the pastor asked the ladies to choose. They are rushed one guy man whey be like player. Haba. Big confusion for that guy cuz he himself was confused. He didn't know who to choose.

That made me understand that there are many ladies dieing in silent for lack of man in their lives.

If I be lady, na me go approach the man I will marry. cuz men for marriage are scarce. Many ladies too dey do shakara. They don't want to be bold and go for the hunt. Always waiting for me to talk to them.

Lol at least the pastor helped in his own way. If nigerian ladies also make their own move at men they fancy then they won't be getting so lonely.nobody is saying u should start toasting a man but give him hints that u like him and he will take it from there.some ladies will lock themselves inside their room and when they are outside they will be frowning their face for no good reason .why won't such scare off a man.some sef when a man says ordinary hello u will see them squeeze face and reply the hello under their breath.such behaviour can scare off any potential male partner.

Sure, I would put effort to make it happen for myself.

Solatium:
Dem dey wait you to come make it happen.
Mr Social Animal.�

So because two or three people cannot do something that means it isn't doable? Fine accept their opinion as the gospel truth.

doxijaw:


Oga u stubborn sha, but extremely clueless.

All the people wey dey abroad don tell their truth, u wey no dey get d biggest opinion.

Haba y

dederocs:

I think they are reffering to general feelings of loneliness...oyinbo no send you there, its cold out there,here people are more warm, open, like to chat/talk. Deep down most see you as a pest/second class entity.

u can make friends with other eithnicities nau.it must not be oyibo.besides u can start making friends from ur work place
your church
Or your school
.If you are a studying in the foreign country u residing it's even more easier for u to make friends cos u will come across other different nationalities and groups.For the locals try to mix in and then they will open up.For instance u in a non english speaking territory like germany or russia and u want to date a local then u should learn their language a little and that will make them open up to u and from there friendship go flow.

It is an ongoing thing, keep adjusting and improving both your approach and appearance... you don't need all the girls to say yes, you only need just a few yeses to be happy. You keep approaching (politely and respectfully) and learning... that's how it works.

LordOfTheGame:


My brother I dey try my best. Even this night as I was coming back from my waka waka, I jam one girl way be sey we dey live for the same area, began talk some kind things give the babe na so she snubbed me like sey I carry corona virus.

Randy91:



For your MENTAL SANITY....

Pls, just avoid them..EVERY rubbish happening in NIGERIA as per church matter,,YOU will witness it there FIRST HAND

hahahaha

79733139:
It is an ongoing thing, keep adjusting and improving both your approach and appearance... you don't need all the girls to say yes, to you you only need just a few yeses to be happy. You keep approaching (politely and respectfully) and learning... that's how it works.

Ok baba, thanks for the codes. I will work on myself and skills.

79733139:
It is an ongoing thing, keep adjusting and improving both your approach and appearance... you don't need all the girls to say yes, to you you only need just a few yeses to be happy. You keep approaching (politely and respectfully) and learning... that's how it works.

lol especially appearance
In nigeria we guys don't really bother about appearance cos most cases women just need ur money.but outside naija if u want to talk to a lady u have to be presentable at least
Offering a woman money that u just met would be considered rude and she would regard u as a jerk( except maybe If she is a hooker)
But all in all ur appearance is key

Correct guy. I was beginning to think I am an alien. Most people here are just complaining when they haven't put a lot of deliberate effort into socializing and meeting people.

lefulefu:
lol especially appearance
In nigeria we guys don't really bother about appearance cos most cases women just need ur money.but outside naija if u want to talk to a lady u have to be presentable at least
Offering a woman money that u just met would be considered rude and she would regard u as a jerk( except maybe If she is a hooker)
But all in all ur appearance is key