ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.

ibedun:


People like you can’t make it in Naija. Your brain is so full of Naija problems that you are blind to the opportunities abound, Shame!

ibedun:


Alaye! Don’t marry anywhere.....don’t sign any legal papers anywhere on this planet! I don talk my own.

awulio:
He should move to another city or move to Isle of Man or gurnesy they don’t care about his criminal record.... but ask ur friend what he did to his wife... was he a serial cheat and the wife is just doing pay back?

wany:

Those that married women of their social class have no sad story.the mentality of African men marrying down in order to dominate and control ,always end with sad stories you don't control an adult ,you only dialogue.it amaze me how you guys always think with your D..k and ego ,why pick a girl to train when you too can go for a ready made woman all because you want your ego massage.so you all deserve what you get.

ASUNDER:
Based on your questions, you have assumed that she is a saint and he is the villain and merely suffering from Karma. Well, you're wrong. I think my friend is suffering cos he is the opposite. He is a simp, who put all his life in his wife's hands and sucked up to her, empowered her and allowed her to persistently cross his boundaries. She doesn't see him as a man anymore and thinks she is too good for him. So suck up your assumptions lady!

TheGift:
Do you have kids? Because the way you say He should "forget about his kids, for now" I doubt it very much. And you are assuming that He or they will always be alive to relate in the not so near future ?? Not so, bro.

ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.

ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.

ibedun:


Unsettled beings, nothing is ever enough even if you forfeit your life for them.

I blame foolish men who don’t understand they alone are enough. The world is full anyways so children don’t really matter as much as they use to.

Olisehinnocent:
Tell that your brother that no place is like home we in Africa, after puffing our weeds, banging different pussy, we beat our wives as we like, bang their pussy without being questioned no place is truly like home. Make I continue enjoying my weed Meanwhile, Yoruba and Amotekun should be held responsible for that divorce

Henvest:


We are still saying the same thing just that they won't hear.
If u need a Lion buy an already grown one ,
Build a cage or Zoo for it for your safety ,
If u make the mistake of buying a Cub to train into Maturity it will surely devour you

Hassanmaye:

Wicked boy

Henvest:


We are still saying the same thing just that they won't hear.
If u need a Lion buy an already grown one ,
Build a cage or Zoo for it for your safety ,
If u make the mistake of buying a Cub to train into Maturity it will surely devour you

ASUNDER:
No domestic violence. He willingly moved out of the house due to constant arguments. They are both Nigerian Yorubas. He brought his wife to the UK from Nigeria. He is not a citizen yet but legal. If you have lived in the UK, you'd realised that violence doesn't need to have occurred before a woman gets you arrested. Merely saying "I am fearful of him and my life is in danger" is enough! Abroad is not for black men with shaky marriage. If your marriage is not solid and your wife is in Nigeria, just leave her there. If you are single, remain single! I for one will never marry any woman and sign any stupid papers! NEVER! Don't tell my mum sha

omoharry:
So you are suggesting that the man stays abroad alone while his family remain here in Nigeria ? Then why marry at all ? Its either he remains here with his family or he marries over them and be with them .It make no sense for a man to be abroad while his wife and kids remain in a different country apart . Why marry in the first place ?

Anyway ,it's seem painful & unfair when men are at the receiving end of social injustice in the U.K. .But over here in Nigeria ,women have been abused and maligned for crying out for injustice by thier husbands and our society will tell them to go back home and be a dutiful wife so that the man would be of good behavior .
Men would cheat on thier wives ,bring home-deadly diseases, due to thier philandering ,beat up these women if they dare stand up to protest against thier husband and take thier children away from them, if they dare ask for divorce .Especially when the wife is not financially independent .

I sympathize with these men that are going through hell in the U.K, due to thier divorce from thier wives . But I still believe Nigerian men still export thier alpha male tendencies with thier wives in the U.K. They should know that over there in the U.K. the woman is king but here in Nigeria they are subject and powerless .
They should learn how to adjust accordingly depending on the country they are .

awumen:

What about having a good investment back home in Nigeria, while in abroad and married? I heard a story of one of my senior in the secondary school,he once had the same issue but will I say he was smart to have good investment in Nigeria without her knowledge, as soon as she started her craze after 7 years he brought her to the UK, my man japa with kids back to naija,all she had was just the UK house. This man and two kids are in the U.S now and not starting all over per day atleast he has his life savings and assets in naija to fall back on.
Can these be an option for the men who take family abroad? Am here to learn.

pappilo:


It is too late. After the arrest and before I was charged she had actually gone to the police and made a statement saying she wanted to be no part of the prosecution (found this out during discovery/disclosure) but about 3 months later, she went back and said she wanted to support the prosecution.

My ex wife is/was not a bad person. She is totally into her new man so will do anything he says. He is the one pulling the strings. What kind of a man moves into a married woman's home when he was part of the reason the woman's husband was barred from the house?

I begged my ex wife, cried sent people she respects, pastor e.t.c. but no success. I can kind of understand he predicament though. She probably doesnt want to lose her new man. There are things that may come out during the trial that will very damaging for her but despite being aware of this she is determined to see it through.

I am past the worst and this trial and potential criminal record doesnt faze me. If I didnt kill myself in 2020 when I was at the lowest I have been as a human being, anything that befalls me now na moimoi.

Depression is real o. I had proper plans of how to top myself. Thank goodness that on some days I was just so scared and other days I had someone to talk sense into my head.

ibedun:


Most of you young Nigerians are f**ls., that’s why you are dying to get out of Nigeria. You think abroad is waiting for you? Most of you will end up homeless or living in 1 room for 50 years or you become the WIFE at home. Ask your relatives here.

awumen:

What would you advise men that just brought family to the UK? Will you advise them to invest more at home to minimize the impact? Am here to learn,am sure your response will get to more people

ibedun:


Would you be kind enough to give me IT training as I need to shift gear myself before my story changes, many thanks Bro!!!!

pappilo:
We were both teenagers when we started dating and basically grew up together. I am in my mid 40s now. We worked well as a team but maybe not as a married couple according to African standards.i.e. we both contributed to the home equally. My ex wife is book smart so got better paid most of our marriage but I also had a very well paying job with good pension, job security and flexibility such that I was totally hands on with the children. I got comfortable with this as it suited raising a young family. When 90% of my mates were contracting for rates of up to £500 a day, I stayed in my job cause I thought of things like who will pick up the kids, who will drive the ex to places if I had to go work out of town.

We just grew apart and no I wasnt a violent man. Even when things were getting very bad I still tried to make things work. After I found out my ex was seeing her colleague and they were meeting up in hotels I still tried to save the marriage for the sake of the children. I took them on a holiday, we refurbished the house but when a woman is fed up, there is really nothing you can do. I should have realised this after I had a major surgery and while I was bedridden for 3 weeks, my ex wife went away on one of her hotel visits with her colleague.

I have been able to accept most of what happened but what I'll never understand is her determination to ruin me. This woman cheated on me with a married man just 6 months after our wedding but I forgave her and we moved on. If I could forgive her years ago why cant she reciprocate?

baralatie:

I understand the growing apart!
it is a constant challenge in relationship wether together or seperate.that phenomenon is a problem.
for some the pull through for some they pull out.

The holder part is one mysterious thing about women.it is not necessarily that she is out to ruin you.it is just their way of interpreting life with men.
don't be surprised down the line she gets into a fight with her lover(which will most definitely happen and she rubs it to her face that the man is not half a man like you).
some women don't know what to do when they meet a good man and they feel that if they cheat the other man will get the message and leave.so if the man stays on they get internally mad.

so the best is just forgive and do all you can to pull through.it is rough time but heck.i trust you have seen rough times and come out for the better.
concerning that you are out of her life is for her mental health because the more you want to push to mend the more desperate,predictable and vunerable.and that is how the lover walked into the scenario.

just do you to be back on you feet and give her space.trust me
you will come out with a better story

pappilo:


Thanks. I am not trying to be back with her. It was a very thin line but really hard to cross. The day I got arrested was the day I crossed the line. I got back home, logged on to the portal and processed my decree nisi which I had been scared to do since I got permission like 3 months prior. I havent looked back

This is a woman I spent over 2 decades with and know all her secrets, If I wanted to ruin her, it will take me only a few calls to the authorities but I cant. Why cant she let me go im peace? You got your divorce, you have your new man, you got the house, you have the kids. Why does she have to be a part of the plan to ruin me. The charges against me are concerning the boyfriend but she has agreed to be a witness against me!

Keepem:
how old are you, you sure you're up to 18??

Kelvin3476:
Which NIGERIA LAW PROTECT MEN ? EVERY LAW PROTECTS WOMEN

Empiree:
You may be surprised his wife is NIGERIAN and did this to him on purpose without any reasonable causes. They do these nasty things in order to reap govt benefits and put their husband in perpetual mental subjugation.

Later their kids raised by the woman alone would turn criminals on the streets.

HRprof:

The lawless law that Nigerian men use to abandon wife and kids and move in with another woman without child support.
The lawless law that gave some Nigeria men the impetus to misbehave and cheat around in the name of polygamy is allowed in Nigeria .
Some Nigeria men enter YANKY with that mentality and it ended like OP friend.
Now let me hear the law that protect women in Nigeria!!

Kelvin3476:
AND WOMEN ARE ALL INNOCENT ABOUT THIS DIVORCE ISSUES ? WOMEN DOEST MANIPULATE MEN ABI ? HAVE U BEEN TO WELFARE BE4 ? IF U BELIEVE EVERY DIVORCE CASE IS BEEN BROUGHT UP BY MEN , AND THEY ARE ALL GUILTY ABI ? DO U KNW A WOMAN CAN ACCUSE U OF RAPE , AND U HAVE NOWHERE TO VINDICATE URSELF. HAVE U EVER SENSE A WOMAN FILE A CASE AGAINST A MAN AND GETS TO LOSE IT ? THOSE ONES U MENTION DIDN'T FILE ANY CASE .