HRprof:

I'm sure to be older than you

Yet spewing senselessness smh

Good point. But it does not mean He can just "forget about His kids" randomly like that. It's not a necessarily rational connection. It is what it is. Your seed.

Keshinr0:


It's like you didn't read the part that says he keeps getting arrested anytime he goes visiting the kids.
Do you know the implication of that.
He could be deported

HRprof:

Nigeria welfare are full of corrupt individuals like all the agencies in Nigeria. Men always have their way with bribery, Nigeria welfare system is not working. No law that protect women in Nigeria, rape cases are not taking serious here. So many to mention.

OGA U LIVE BEHIND LIES . U HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE , AND THATS WHY U ARE TALKING OUT OF EXPERIENCE. IN WELFARE 70% OF WORKER ARE FEMALES, AND WILL NEVER WANT A MAN TO WIN ANY CASE. I WENT THERE TWICE , AND THEY TREATMENT/JUDGEMENT MEN GOT THERE ARE BIAS. ARE U LIVING IN 9JIRIA ?

HRprof:

Nigeria welfare are full of corrupt individuals like all the agencies in Nigeria. Men always have their way with bribery, Nigeria welfare system is not working. No law that protect women in Nigeria, rape cases are not taking serious here. So many to mention.

U JUMPS MOST OF MY QUESTIONS , AND U THINK U AREN'T BIAS .

HRprof:

Please what benefit do British government give to divorced wife if thats the reason for her act?

I don't live in United Kingdom. So I can not fully give details about UK. I live in US. Their systems are similar with some differences.

So based on this I can tell you she's getting child support, govt helps pay her rent by 70% or 100% in some cases plus cash benefits and food stamp. Food stamp is she gets money every month for food only. She also gets WIC (women, infant and children) benefits for her children up to 5yrs old. There are other benefits she gets if she's citizen. Man gets nothing..lol

Kelvin3476:
OGA U LIVE BEHIND LIES . U HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE , AND THATS WHY U ARE TALKING OUT OF EXPERIENCE. IN WELFARE 70% OF WORKER ARE FEMALES, AND WILL NEVER WANT A MAN TO WIN ANY CASE. I WENT THERE TWICE , AND THEY TREATMENT/JUDGEMENT MEN GOT THERE ARE BIAS. ARE U LIVING IN 9JIRIA ?

I'm talking with experience, does it means women don't take bribes? ? We all are born into a corrupt system so women or men in any government agencies are corrupt.
Is only human activist NGO who fight for women in most cases get some good judgment in Nigeria but still Nigeria corrupt system still working against them. I live in Nigeria and i have seen Nigeria finish nothing remain.

Keepem:
Yet spewing senselessness smh

As well as you reasons senselessness. Continue treating your wife anyhow until karma visit you like OP friend

HRprof:

I'm talking with experience, does it means women don't take bribes? ? We all are born into a corrupt system so women or men in any government agencies are corrupt.
Is only human activist NGO who fight for women in most cases get some good judgment in Nigeria but still Nigeria corrupt system still working against them. I live in Nigeria and i have seen Nigeria finish nothing remain.

its clear u haven't been there. Its very super hard to bribe a woman against a woman when it comes to giving judgement , becus women are most like to paint men black. Bro just give me 3 examples of occassions where a woman faild a case against a male in 9jiria . I will also give u my own proves

Kelvin3476:
its clear u haven't been there. Its very super hard to bribe a woman against a woman when it comes to giving judgement , becus women are most like to paint men black. Bro just give me 3 examples of occassions where a woman faild a case against a male in 9jiria . I will also give u my own proves

I'm a woman, if I start telling you experience I witnessed with 3 cases of 3 different women who have marital issues in welfare , NairaLand space will not occupy it. If you are lucky to be in a state were welfare cases are handle judiciously without bias then I believe women who work there have experience their own share so they might not spare men. Out of 36 state believe me just few states has good testimonies about welfare.

HRprof:

I'm a woman, if I start telling you experience I witnessed with 3 cases of 3 different women who have marital issues in welfare , NairaLand space will not occupy it. If you are lucky to be in a state were welfare cases are handle judiciously without bias then I believe women who work there have experience their own share so they might not spare men. Out of 36 state believe me just few states has good testimonies about welfare.

SO IF THEY ARE JUDICIOUSLY HANDLED WOMEN WILL ALL GET VICTORIES , BECUS ALL MEN ARE CULPRITS AND EVIL (ACCORDING TO UR STATEMENT). THANK GOD WOMEN ARE ALL ANGELS, AND MIND U THAT I MYSELF HAVE ESCORTED MY BOSS BROTHER TO A WELFARE CASE ON 2 OCCASSIONS. THEIR JUDGEMENTS STARTING 4RM THE PICTURES, THE WAY THEY SEE VIOLENCE AND CO IS VERY BIAS. AM I TYPE OF PERSON WHO DOESN'T DESCRIMINATE. THEY CMPLAINT OF WOMEN IS MOSTLY HEARD IN THE LAWS FIRM, AND U KNOW THIS.

richie240:


Almighty God's!

Which almighty God?

The one before or after Oyinbo came to fool our ignorant and stupid forefathers?

Africans believe every rubbish told to them by crafty white skinned people.....

Hiploko:
shhhhhhhhhhh. Come back make we exchange slots.

Go and get your own visa my friend

anonymousposts:

If you are the one this happened to then I will surely help you
what area - take a pick
Software Dev? QA? DevOps?

No bro! It didn’t happen to me. I am just seeking a new avenue to change my life....and expand my horizon. Your help will be greatly appreciated and my children will thank you.

The law over there protects the woman, the law/ tradition here doesn't protect he woman at all the man gets away with anything, the woman is thrown out with nothing, no child support whatsoever. Over there its the exact opposite.

If you treat your wife well whereever you are you most likely won't run into problems, this is one fact all those shouting and whining still don't acknowledge.

Can you count the no of naija couples living abroad and they have not divorced ? No.

I also find it surprising when people say its because they are abroad the woman files for divorce, do you know how many marriages break up these days in Nigeria? Some marriages will fail irrespective of whatever location they are. A man can decide to send his wife packing with the children without a dime but over there its the opposite.

Be a good man, I don't believe a sane woman will just book up stories to bring a man down except she is just being a wicked.

saajus:
I won't judge cos this is a one-sided story. One thing I have observed in many wives is that they can suppress pressure so much. But, when they explode, may God help you. We've not heard from the wife. But, don't be surprised that the man may be the one that brought this misfortune upon himself. I remember a video circulating around a few months ago of a Nigerian man in the UK that his wife threw his belongings out. People were raining curses on his wife. Later the truth came out that the man is extremely wicked. The man left his real wife with three children and move in with a side chick. The side chick was the one that threw his belongings out.

Don't take your wife for granted. If she's ignoring or pardoning your bad deeds, she's not a fool. If you continue your bad ways, she will explode someday and you will regret ever being born.

For now, his friends should rally round him. Help him so that he won't injure himself.

The bolded is what a lot of them don't understand.

A lot of women will tolerate the mans nonsense as long as they can but when they have a defence for e.g the law abroad they will come all out on you.

Even in this naija some women will tolerate you as long as they can while planning their exit, some will say they are waiting for their children to grow up.

I heard of a pastors wife who left her husband after her last child got married she stated categorically that she has been waiting all these years and has endured because of her children now she wants to live on her own, they sent emissaries she said lailai that she can't continue living with him under the same roof that he is wicked. This is not 20 years marriage thats to show you how much women can endure.

ibedun:


Go and get your own visa my friend

abeg naaaaa

Hiploko:
abeg naaaaa

Go to your village and FARM!

ibedun:


Go to your village and FARM!

Farming na choice. I cannot be induced to farm due to failure of the government

Hiploko:
Farming na choice. I cannot be induced to farm due to failure of the government

Ok ooo. My cousin is a big farmer now. Couldn’t get a uk visa for 13 years. He got married, wife left him, he woke up and started farming small scale...the rest is history. Tell him to come Uk he’ll say ‘keep it’.

How old are you? Time dey go oooo!

ibedun:


Ok ooo. My cousin is a big farmer now. Couldn’t get a uk visa for 13 years. He got married, wife left him, he woke up and started farming small scale...the rest is history. Tell him to come Uk he’ll say ‘keep it’.

How old are you? Time dey go oooo!

lol

ibedun:


Which almighty God?

The one before or after Oyinbo came to fool our ignorant and stupid forefathers?

Africans believe every rubbish told to them by crafty white skinned people.....

There are many gods: Ogun, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Ayelala, Amadioha etc, but there's only one ALMIGHTY God!

My ppl say, " Ojú kó la fiñ mobè tó ní maggi; àfi ta bá bù lá níbè"
(The eyes can never perceive the soup which contains maggi except u taste it)

The Almighty God is known by its infinite power and who can best tell u of this if not the satanists, sorcerers, witches/warlocks etc.

They will tell u d devastating effect of how just the mentioning of his name (ordinary name o) does to them.
You can mention any other god in their midst but not the name of the Most High, lest u suffer dire consequences.

It is that 'Almighty God' who the devil, demons and satanists shiver at the mere mention of His name I'm talking about here.

I'll suggest u make ur findings abt what i've just said b4 u make a rejoinder!

richie240:

There are many gods: Ogun, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Ayelala, Amadioha etc, but there's only one ALMIGHTY God!

My ppl say, " Ojú kó la fiñ mobè tó ní maggi; àfi ta bá bù lá níbè"
(The eyes can never perceive the soup which contains maggi except u taste it)

The Almighty God is known by its infinite power and who can best tell u of this if not the satanists, sorcerers, witches/warlocks etc.

They will tell u d devastating effect of how just the mentioning of his name (ordinary name o) does to them.
You can mention any other god in their midst but not the name of the Most High, lest u suffer dire consequences.

It is that 'Almighty God' who the devil, demons and satanists shiver at the mere mention of His name I'm talking about here.

I'll suggest u make ur findings abt what i've just said b4 u make a rejoinder!

CAPITAL RUBBISH!!!!

Travel and see the world. Nobody knows Jesus Christ in many top class countries.

ibedun:


CAPITAL RUBBISH!!!!

Travel and see the world. Nobody knows Jesus Christ in many top class countries.

Sir this post you made is a hard one to defend o. The world is a global village,
But is the Pope known??

Michelle55:
How do people who vows to take the forever steps together suddenly turns against each other overnight? Just how?

The God we serve is very powerful and miracle working. Some even say he doesn't make mistakes
If this is true why then did he create women & Satan ?

ibedun:


CAPITAL RUBBISH!!!!

Travel and see the world. Nobody knows Jesus Christ in many top class countries.

Lolz...how indigenous of u to say "nobody knows Jesus Christ in many top countries."
Which 'top countries' is he unknown biko?

moreover, how come u singled out 'Jesus Christ' despite the thousands of gods in d whole world? So u too have heard of his supremacy shey?


I purposely didn't include him in d list but you did it with ur own fingers.
That says a lot brah!
Peace!

richie240:

Lolz...how indigenous of u to say "nobody knows Jesus Christ in many top countries."
Which 'top countries' is he unknown biko?

moreover, how come u singled out 'Jesus Christ' despite the thousands of gods in d whole world? So u too have heard of his supremacy shey?


I purposely didn't include him in d list but you did it with ur own fingers.
That says a lot brah!
Peace!

This is not a religious thread. You guys should take it wasy on yourselves

doctor90210:
This is not a religious thread. You guys should take it wasy on yourselves

brahhhhh, na so we see am o.
Na jejely I dey my lane b4 o

.

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dannywest:
Filing mine in Nigeria.

Luckily no kids and no contest so not as messy.

Western law is strongly biased against men and men really go through so much in the hands of some women but are never believed.

that is true. U want a divorce cas in court,check my signature

anonymousposts:
I will usually not reply to many things here but in order to help you and make you understand that it is not the end of the world, I will share my experience and a little advice
I had a similar experience and it is a common scam in the UK. I went through a divorce 6 years ago and I know a friend who is going through one at the moment too
Do not mind the people calling you names - most times, things happen in spite of our cleverness and good intentions -m just listen here

So in my own case - I tried my best to make the marriage work, I put my ex in nursing school - scratch that - college to gain qualification for nursing school then nursing school. I also helped sort out her immigration issues. Those two things cost a lot of money for those who know

I was already a top-ten percent earner in the UK( that starts at £100,000 p.a as at then BTW), never cheated, watched out for her best interest and I was a Christian leader as at then. In fact, she was the only reason I couldn't buy a property earlier than I did, I wanted her to rise to meet similar financial status as mine. She and her mother used to call me "oloore mi" - my helper translated from Yoruba

Then as soon as she started making a little headway she became really nasty, setting me up every time, throwing me out of the house at will.
I, all of a sudden became a stingy man( funny enough I am nearly sure I was among the highest-paid all around us then and all income went into the marriage and I even took money from my mother at times)
My mum became a witch to her (it was my mum that encouraged me to put her in nursing school o, she herself being a nurse. )
I became the lazy guy to her- meanwhile, I was paying an au-pair £700 per month to look after her and our kids whilst I worked o(an aupair is the UK equivalent of house help in Nigeria ) aupair clened cooked etc, she sat pretty

- to earn £100k, you have to wake up really early to go to the city and come back late oh - and loads of traveling

I was thinking, I'm a Christian I didn't want to get a divorce. You see, I worked for a multi-national Oil and Gas firm, and being a friendly and humble guy, I will usually go downstairs to chat with the dinner ladies and among them a very beautiful, mixed race 23 years old who really liked me and wanted to date me then even but genuinely I wanted to honour God, despite going weeks without sex as a married man

Then I bought a house. I genuinely wanted to add her name but because she hadn't attained her PR status banks refused(she had exceptional leave) and then the set up was now too much
one day I don't know what happened but my younger daughter got locked inside her room - I wasn't even there ( I believe she orchestrated it BTW) and usually you break the door by your self or called the Fire marshalls at worst but she called the Police - whilst I was trying to break the door
The police came and started asking if I was attacking them. At that point it became clear to me, my life was in danger so I was praying nonetheless
Then one day I traveled to work and came back, she was gone with the children. Imagine how devastating and then I started begging( whilst aware that she started dating someone else - Aupair told me o

Then social services got involved( you are finished the moment social services gets involved in any case) the social services guy was from the same Nigerian town as her and for whatever reason(I have my guesses though) he lied against me in his report - several lies and said I admitted to things that even if I had done them(I didn't) no one with a reasonable IQ would agree to
Eventually, I filed for divorce, and then only then she didn't want divorce again. She was calling my friends, hiding from the court bailiff - here is someone trying her hardest to tarnish my image with lies and set up but I pushed
Crucially, she got a non-molestation order( that order is called the liar order as you don't have to prove anything - just that you are scared of someone and they will issue it - almost always against a man)
In total Police came 5 times( I called them once) but crucially, I was smarter - there was no reason for me to be warned or arrested so no record against me
Now the part you can learn from

I paid for court bailiffs to track her down and serve her papers and she asked for about 70% of everything I owned( 60% of the equity of the house in the UK and my property in Nigeria).

My lawyers were saying I should go to court blah, blah but I was smarter. I was able to work things out

Sometimes, lawyers are looking after their pocket not you so you need to be smart. If I went to court, I will have to pay for my lawyers(£100 an hour) and her lawyers( £100 an hour) and that can last months so the differential is always not going to favour me. Besides, there is no way she won't get a chunk of it in a UK court despite that I owned them 100% so I agreed.
Again she took ages to come back, she didn't respond for 8 months as truly, I had treated her very well and at that point reality must have dawned on her so I kept pushing and I will travel all over the world to take my mind off things.

I had one issue then - how do I get 60% of equity to pay her off - I was broke and tired. I had carried everyone on my head - her, her mum, her family, kids, au pair - hoping that she would finish her studies, appreciate and support me. If only I knew that my struggles were just beginning then
But I had one thing going for me. Prayers
then I got a contract that paid like double what I was earning - so it turns out that God was working for me - in the time that she was stalling, I was getting paid double and met my current wife who is 20,000 times the person she was( of course my opinion)
so eventually her lawyers responded after I kept hassling them and she thought I wouldn't be able to pay her off. She was ready to move back into the house
All in all, it cost me about £70,000 plus regular maintenance for the children. It would have been double if I went to court
I am far richer than she left me though. Far richer and in a much better place

However, I won every time we went to the family court for the children. So I have access
If you are the one in the right, somehow God will find a way to reward your faithfulness
I can offer to train you in IT for free and you will get a good job. It will help to redirect you to a better place
Don't go to Nigeria though. Stick it out
travel on vacation
You will be ok

my brother, I'm angry on ur behalf gidi-gan ni
Dont worry, God will settle d scores for u.

If many men know what I know, and see modern women for who they truly are, marriage level will be almost zero!

Sonnobax15:

After reading this story,I don decide say na to manage our Nigerian women no matter how useless they are nai sure pass..

Honestly,the kind of divorce stories we hear about the west will make you wonder if marriage was really meant for both man and woman or for women alone..

A time will come when women from the west will end up marrying themselves because there won't be any man who'd wanna be a victim of their manipulation....

Na dat time e go be like "Africa na blessing in disguise for us wey be the no nonsense men

Within the next 30 years, we'll probably have similar laws.