I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

If you are old enough to have an erection, have fun, why bother the world

Tomorrow if those triplets are Davido, Burna and Wizkid, you'll disturb the whole continent

My friend would you buckle up and be a man

. Just kidding. Now on a serious note, the first place of solution is your mind. You need to have a solid grasp of your mind so you can come up with sharp and accurate solutions to your urgent needs.



The first is finance. Plan around the new reality you have so you can get the needed resources you need for the family.


1. Plant her in a church and in a service unit where she will get recognised and will ultimately turn out to an avenue for getting help like job etc from time to time.



2. Your reality is your reality. Put pen to paper on your financial earnings and plan with it first while you strive to make more.

Brother, no point regretting marrying your wife. The only problem is a simple fact, 55K is small for a family of 5 in this present Nigeria.

I would suggest you continue to pacify your wife because raising 3 kids is not a small a task.

May God expand your income.

A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.



Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.

Nnefada:
Hey dear, the 50% isn't for the wife alone, it is for the whole family of five........she, the op and their triplet. In this time we are, #25k can hardly do anything for a family of five. The op should do something about it.

What do you expect the OP to do? Join banditry? Or start stealing?

A sensible woman should have a job or a business before getting married so as to help her family. What are her contributions to the family aside nagging and quarrelling with the husband daily?

RedSquid:
If you are old enough to have an election, have fun, why bother the world

Tomorrow if those triplets are Davido, Burna and Wizkid, you'll disturb the whole continent

My friend would you buckle up and be a man

Tomorrow this child will be this (Dangote)
Tomorrow this child will be that (Bill gate)
Y'all forgot that the child can still be (bandits, boko haram, ritualist, kidnapper, cultist)

Make una no de bring the idea of tomorrow child fit be this jare



At OP if she wants to leave you with the kids let her go
Get a sister to take care of your kids for you
Atleast you've got kids already no need to marry again just hustle and make sure you provide for them

Unless you too wan dey useless like their mama

Duru9:


Tomorrow this child will be this (Dangote)
Tomorrow this child will be that (Bill gate)
Y'all forgot that the child can still be (bandits, boko haram, ritualist, kidnapper, cultist)

Make una no de bring the idea of tomorrow child fit be this jare



At OP if she wants to leave you with the kids let her go
Get a sister to take care of your kids for you
Atleast you've got kids already no need to marry again just hustle and make sure you provide for them

Unless you too wan dey useless like their mama

Baby. Who in the world will take better care of 3 kids than the mother. My dear sit down your turn go soon reach

Marriage is not easy

she isn't considerate..................


ur cup of tea sha

During your courtship, you should have known whom your wife to be is,, you would have noticed some nagging in her, just that you didn't focused on it....even do you gave your salary to her, am sure she won't still be satisfied...just pray God help you

Duru9:


Tomorrow this child will be this (Dangote)
Tomorrow this child will be that (Bill gate)
Y'all forgot that the child can still be (bandits, boko haram, ritualist, kidnapper, cultist)

Make una no de bring the idea of tomorrow child fit be this jare



At OP if she wants to leave you with the kids let her go
Get a sister to take care of your kids for you
Atleast you've got kids already no need to marry again just hustle and make sure you provide for them

Unless you too wan dey useless like their mama

. Did you just type "get a sister to take care of 3 kids that are not hers

Biko, get sense

Stop condemning his wife and be truthful. You think the 50% is enough for the woman to care for herself and three kids?
50% of 45K because the OP is giving his mum 10K every month as well.

Kriss216:
A woman you're giving almost 50% of your monthly income and she's still not satisfied is not the right one for you, bro.



Channel your energy, time, finances on your kids. That woman will never give you happiness.

madridguy:
Stop condemning his wife and be truthful. You think the 50% is enough for the woman to care for herself and three kids?
50% of 45K because the OP is giving his mum 10K every month as well.

So, what is the wife contributing to the family? A man shouldn't care for his mum cos he got married to a senseless lady?

If 50% of the guy's income ain't enough for the wife, then, nothing in this world would be enough for her. She's inconsiderate and she's not a woman to bring happiness in a man's life.

A whole triplet....This one loud oO

Instead of quarrelling everyday with her, be a man of little words, no matter the level of provocation, do nothing/say nothing, just let it slide....

I'm used to saying "May my preeq never put me into trouble one day" but it has partially landed me into one, one day I will post my own story....!!

Slynation:
A whole triplet....This one loud oO

Instead of quarrelling everyday with her, be a man of little words, no matter the level of provocation, do nothing/say nothing, just let it slide....

I'm used to saying "May my preeq never put me into trouble one day" but it has partially landed me into one, one day I will post my own story....!!

I am eager to hear your story

Tell her family she's threatening to abandon you with the kids, which is very selfish and irresponsible of her. Idk how the thought could even cross her mind. She needs to get a job or earning some money via a business of some sort. Providing for your family shouldn't be your sole responsibility, especially with 3 kids.

TheCongo2:


I am eager to hear your story

Yea...but I will have to go anonymous because my gf knows this moniker and visit here on daily basis...

You are earning 55k and you got married lol and now with three kids. How do you plan to grow in life. With the economy bro the lord is your strength.

Brother erm,your wife is right o...e be like you stingy small.
You give ur wife 20k n later 25k after many argument for the family upkeep...you guys are 4 in number,o wrong nau.
I am single,I don't consider myself as one who spends recklessly at all but uses 40k monthly...but somehow you feel you,wife,n kids should use 25k?
Try raise the money for family upkeep,I think 45k or 50 could be something for a prudent woman considering you don't have much.

Duru9:


Tomorrow this child will be this (Dangote)
Tomorrow this child will be that (Bill gate)
Y'all forgot that the child can still be (bandits, boko haram, ritualist, kidnapper, cultist)

Make una no de bring the idea of tomorrow child fit be this jare



At OP if she wants to leave you with the kids let her go
Get a sister to take care of your kids for you
Atleast you've got kids already no need to marry again just hustle and make sure you provide for them

Unless you too wan dey useless like their mama

he's already useless for putting his penis into a person vagina that is not your wife. . results of fornication "

dance to your beat.

I really feel for you. Your income is too small to run a family of 5, and I'm surprised you're still talking of sex. Hope una don do family planning sha, or you're using condom? Pls don't get her pregnant again o!
By the way, how old are your kids? Is there anything your wife can be doing to earn a little income too? What I think should preoccupy your mind right now is how to raise your family income.

with triplet u still want to fvck and u only give 25k per month..some men are useless walahi

Even 25k is not enough for a single lady/ man in a whole month...... 25k for 3 kids

@OP, I just saw your other thread:
https://www.nairaland.com/6126177/wife-says-stingy-money

You were advised on there to start a business for your wife, within/close to your home. Did you two give that a try?

Duru9:


Tomorrow this child will be this (Dangote)
Tomorrow this child will be that (Bill gate)
Y'all forgot that the child can still be (bandits, boko haram, ritualist, kidnapper, cultist)

Make una no de bring the idea of tomorrow child fit be this jare



At OP if she wants to leave you with the kids let her go
Get a sister to take care of your kids for you
Atleast you've got kids already no need to marry again just hustle and make sure you provide for them

Unless you too wan dey useless like their mama

who do you think is going to take care of 3 kids for free? Y’all love to underestimate what child care involves. One child will give him grey hair overnight not to mention 3 at once

Maybe he should stay home and care for the 3 children while his wife goes to find something that pays more money than 55k.

Kriss216:

So, what is the wife contributing to the family? A man shouldn't care for his mum cos he got married to a senseless lady?

If 50% of the guy's income ain't enough for the wife, then, nothing in this world would be enough for her. She's inconsiderate and she's not a woman to bring happiness in a man's life.

what’s she contributing to the family? I think I’ve finally heard it all.

What OP is doing is merely a fraction of the work she’s doing. Stop being willfully ignorant.

Omo. The truth is that 25k is too small for 5people no be lies. Chai, what can you do to improve on your income? I guess she's still a breastfeeding mother. It's not good for a young mother to be hungry honestly. Kai!!!

cococandy:
what’s she contributing to the family? I think I’ve finally heard it all.

What OP is doing is merely a fraction of the work she’s doing. Stop being willfully ignorant.

Coco leave this guy alone. When someone makes a comment you know if he has first hand experience or not. This one is probably unmarried.

My concern is how they can cope with the meagre amount. And it's not like the children are already big enough to eat garri and soup o

On a very serious note,DAT money is too small for a family of 5...pampers,milk, etc...pls man up

Prospertochu:

I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage my plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stay in her father house, her mother was fine with it as long I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children. I. Pleaded her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister. My mother in law refuse saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to saved enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me. My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complain about the money not being enough I refuse giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but  she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know its too late now to change the past but what should I do?

If you and your wife can find a way to be at peace with each other, and be of one mind, believe me, everything will be alright.
Even the little income will be manageable.

You might think money is the main problem, but it's not. It's just a part of it.
You both need to come together in peace, understanding and agreement, that way, the situation becomes easier to bear.

If you both continue the way you're going, even if you begin to earn up to #300-400k, it'll still seem to not be enough. There will always be something to fight about.
Be at peace with yourself, your wife, your children, and the situation, then it will become easier for you to work hard and earn more for your family.
Life is too short to live in regrets.
You're blessed with 3 beautiful babies, but you're blinded to see it. Be grateful.
It's not easy, yes, but hey! Life is a struggle for everyone, one way or another.