Our goverment seems to be practising military rule, coz with the picture of the proposed 5k note I saw, the date on the note shows the year it was printed which was about 3 years ago & the design is exactly like the polymer 50 naira. My point is, the money has been printed long before now & he Sanusi & the fed govt made us believe they were just planing to print it. For it to have been printed long ago, it shows there would be no going back & Nigeria is really heading in Zim's direction when to buy breakfast you use a single note of 100k. God help us!

Pretiebony and Asaba-man were watching the
news. Asaba-man says to pretiebony,
"I bet you 10k that the man won't jump
off the building." Pretiebony takes the
bet, and the man jumps.Pretiebony says,
"No, I can't take your money, I saw
this before and I knew he jumped." Asaba-man says, "I saw it before, too, but
I didn't think he would jump again." Mumu, news deh change?

PretiEbony: So wat shld i do?

Keep quiet, must u leave a comment?

Topic of discussion at a women's meeting is
that everyone will go home and refuse to do 1
domestic task and forcing their husband to
contribute. The results will be discussed at the
next meeting.

At the next meeting the first woman, a Briton says; I went home and refused to cook, and the first day I
didn't see anything, and the second day I didn't
see anything, but on the 3rd day my husband broke
down and made a wonderful dinner for the whole
family.

The 2nd woman,an American says; I went home and refused to do the laundry, and on the first day I didn't see
anything, and on the second day I didn't see
anything, but on the 3rd day my husband broke
down and not only did the laundry but the ironing as
well.

Then the third woman, a Nigeria stands up and says; I went home and refused to do the shopping, and on the
first day I didn't see anything, and on the
second day I didn't see anything, but on the 3rd
day I could finally see a little out of the
left eye.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world
would have no meaning.

Desperation is when you are in a taxi, sending a text to your Boss that you're running late to work, and then a thief snatches your phone through the window & instead of shouting help, you shout ''Press Send!!!!!!!!!!! Please Press Send"!!!!!!!!!!.

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years.
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."
So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."
The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten yrs, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? Na wa o! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
So this is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing;
For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family;
For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren;
And for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

masterpiecer:

unfortunately i hate maths but have a strong passion for art

Men we re on the same as regards hating maths. Its alright man, thanks & stay blessed. Abbey

masterpiecer:

i didnt say the final answer is 2
i said the answers are two

the question is an ambiguous question, therefore two answers were derived:

*half of 2,+ 2=3
*half of 2+2=2

3 and 2 are the two answers, except u are not aware of
the ambiguity of ur question, i stand to be corrected

The correct answer is 3, the question is half of 2 plus 2, half of 2 is 1 plus which gives us 3. U try bro, might have to enrol with u for some maths lesson.

ode remo: Not anoda copy and paste idea.
Next,pls. Bring my chocomilo pls.

What makes u think I copied from where u saw it & not that the person copied from me. U too talk.

i-smoke-weed:
So . . . Did masterpiecer 'piece' it ?

Masterpiecer didn't get it. He said 2 was his final answer & that's wrong.

Solve this one.
What is half of 2 plus 2?

Onyiclassic: Nice one poster

Thanks arewa!

When NIGERIANS steal money,they keep it in SWISS BANKS;When they're sick- INDIA orGERMANY;When they want to invest... AMERICA;When they want to buymansions - LONDON/CANADA.They go to DUBAI for shopping,PARIS for holidays.When they want to repent-ISREAL OR SAUDI ARABIA.But when they DIE they all want to be BURIED in NIGERIA.I beg, help me ask them: NIGERIA na CEMETERY!!!!

Sir chiko find him papa

A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to VERY serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a guaranteed weight loss program. "Guaranteed my ass", he thought to himself, but desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3 day 10K weight loss program.

The next day there is a knock at his door and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptous, athletic, beautiful babe dressed in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me you can have me!"

Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business."

The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost ten pounds, as promised.

So, he calls the company and orders from them their 5 day/ 20k program. As expected, the next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunningly beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

He's after her in a shot. This girl is in great shape and it takes a while to catch her, but when he does, it's worth every cramp and wheeze. She is by far the best he's ever had. For the next four days, the same routine happens and much to his delight on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another twenty pounds as promised!

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7 day/50k loss program. "Are you sure," asks the representative on the phone, "this is our most rigorous program..." "Absolutely," he replies. "I haven't felt this great in years!"

The next day there is a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds Denrele & Charley boy standing there wearing nothing but pink racing spikes and a sign around their neck that reads, "If we catch you, we can have you!"

Thanks bro @Yobo

Paddy went to the doctors complaining of a bad back
The doc asks how he did it
'Having sex doggy fashion' says Paddy
'Why dont you try the normal position?'
'I have' said paddy 'but the dog keeps licking my face!'

No mind am, na when he reach hell he go hear say he don die.

[Lagos Bus Driver,speeding recklessly] Passenger:"Driver!This one way u just de drive jaga jaga,I NO WAN HEAR SAY I DIE O!!!

sure sure: I'm cool, fine, good, I'm alright and it also means hi.

Sharp: I'm done, you are alright. Some even use it to say hi.

In South Africa

THIS IS TO ANNOUNCE THE SUDDEN AND UNTIMELY DEATH OF ONE OF OUR OWN. MR BABALOLA GBOYEGA, HE WAS THE MANAGING DIRECTOR/CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF STERLING REGISTRARS LIMITED UNTIL HIS DEATH. HE IS SURVIVED BY AN AGED MOTHER, KIDS AND A YOUNG WIFE. MAY HIS GENTLE SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE.

Hey pals. How u all doing today? Guys, what we single guys gona go do coz the rate at which our gurls now sells their body calls for concern. I was in a club in lekki last weekend for a friend bach eve. I've been to the club once, knows it's a strip club, but never been upstairs. So on that very day, while the party was going on downstairs, some of us close pals were selected to come upstairs and when we got there, behold this lovely naked girls and we were told to UnCloth and start having sex with anyone of them, my brothers them say sex orgy.
Remove ur sim card here put it there. I could not believe my eyes, was just there and later got one of the gurls to give me and my friend BJ coz I could not just believe it, mind all the babes are naija oo. Girls that on normal day u might not be
able to talk to them during the day. Pls anybody could educate
me bout it should pls write it.

My brothers, getting girl is very easy but getting the right one is the problem. I no deh find just bed mate again, hence me asking that question, How can one get a very good one?

@Alexis u need not 2 be rude by calling the tread a silly one.

@bhusayor. I'll say I'm nice if being nice means respecting your partner, being faithful to her, couldn't remember ever causing her pain. Gave her all I've got, money, body and everything I could offer. Yet, she still complain that I caused our break up without having any reason and admitting she has started dating a new guy. Pls tell me ur own definition of being good.

Hey Nairalanders,

The reason I asked the question was because of the experience I've had in the hands of girls have dated. Mind you I'm not judging all girls, but the truth is that Girl are almost the same because the ones that could be faithful to her guy would be because the guy has got some Zara or got something going for him, coz this girls sees future far ahead of the guys.

How do you one get to know that a girl truly loves him? I know money doesn't do it alone neither does love does it alone. But I believe the girl has to genuinely be in love with her guy, coz without that it would never work out even if you have all the money in the world.


I would be glad to hear from fellow Nairalanders, maybe there are still a lot I've got to learn to build a relationship.

Thanks all.

I want to thank everybody that contributed to this tread one way or the other.
I'm back to let you know what I discovered after talking to her. She claimed I was the reason why she started dating the guy.

She added to her MTN magic and series of other without being to tell which that made her like a weather. Well, I'm lucky i wasn't @broken coz i saw it coming and even b4 then, I've always believed that human can Bleep up so I put 100percent trust in almighty God.

Though, I still talk to her once in a while, because I introduce her to someone that could help her with a job and wouldn't her to think I told the man something bad, should in-case she wasn't employed.

I've moved on and taking a break from dating for now.
Thanks everyone once again, may God bless you all.

ZIM DRILL:

whats this obsession with a girl being a virgin ? and most of the time her status got nothing nothing to do with the story being told

why volunter information when not asked or it is pride to say you found one ?

@Zim

It's nothing special about her being a virgin and neither do I want people to know that I've found one. But I think it's right for people to get the true picture, so that they could know how to advice. Thanks all the same.

M M M:

if u don fuc-ker her let her go, but if u have not done try fu-ck then discarge her.

@ M M M


I've not slept with her, and to let you know; it's about fucking her, I've been a very bad boy and of late I decided to let go of all those bad ways and I've been trying to be one woman guy, coz I wouldn't want to fornicate when I get married which was why I really want to get it right before getting married.

The reason why I came here was to have somebody to pour out my mind to. I'm a guy that doesn't discuss my relationship with a friend. I wouldn't want any friend or relatives to have any wrong impression about my woman.

I appreciate all your replies Thanks Yall, Please keep it coming

Hey my fellow nairalanders. Thanks for the contributions, I really appreciate everything said and would try calling her, get to see and would keep you guys updated.

Thanks all and stay blessed.

Abbey